The Alchemist And The Anarchist
by Slayer Jesse
Summary: An odd choice, for a crossover, I'll admit. When the Vault Hunters wind up stranded in Amestris with no way to get back, how will it change the FMA universe? Both sides are in for a culture shock. Primary POV: Gaige and Axton, Ed. Minor Gaige/Axton shiptease. Rated T for violence, occasional swearing, sexuality. Looking for Concrit and beta/proofreaders! pm me if interested.
1. Chapter 1: Its Not A Trap, Really

** Authors Notes: Hello! this story takes place after the events of Borderlands 2, and follows the Brotherhood Continuity. if you don't want spoilers... don't read this! Also, this first chapter is all BL2, so if your here for the FMA, bear with me, please! Chapter 2 will see the end of Pandora for most of the rest of the story. Very much looking for constructive criticism. Any feedback or help is appreciated. (Edited 5/20/13 to be more readable, and in line with newer chapters.)  
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Mordecai had been intending to hit this target for some time. It had been on his watch list from just before the incident at Control Core Angel. He stood in the Crimson Raiders Headquarters briefing the new Vault Hunters.

"Our target is a Hyperion Munitions Depot out in the dust. From what I can tell, at least 40% of all the guns Hyperion brought into Pandora came though this depot. Hyperion may be disorganized and confused, but I see no reason to leave a huge stash of armament in their hands".

Axton spoke up, voicing what the rest of them were thinking. "If this is such a major facility, how come we've never seen it? The Dust is pretty large, but I don't think we would have missed something like that."

"Good question, Amigo. The depot is in a mountain range, only accessible by air. From the ground it just looks like countless other brown rocks. However, we just detected a new fast travel station come online in the past few days. Lilith is worried that they're trying to move the guns off planet. This will be our last and best shot to take out this stockpile."

Gaige furrowed her brow, causing an expression unsuited for her cute face. "If this target was so important, why are you just now telling us about it Mordy? It's been over a month since we took down Jack. "

"Hah, another good question. I never had a chance to hit it before we took on Jack, even though that would have been preferable. And you guys seemed so Gung-Ho about the Treasure of the Sands that I didn't have a chance to brief you before you left for Oasis."

"Well, I guess that explains that part. But what about Torgue's Tournament and Hammerlock's hunting trip? They could have waited."

"True, but we felt bad about working you guys so hard since you got here. We wanted you to have some R&R before you took on something this big."

Salvador put a meaty arm around Mordy's waist in an awkward hug. "See, Senor Mordecai is always looking out for us, eh? We appreciate it amigo! Torgue's tournament was a… BLAST!"

The entire room groaned and rolled their eyes; save for Zer0 who displayed "…" on his visor.

Maya rubbed her head from the oncoming headache. Sal may have had fun, but she had to endure his explosive puns the entire time during that trip.

"For you, maybe. I spent most of the trip scraping you off the floor. Especially against that ridiculous contraption Piston called a dinosaur." A chill went through the air. No-one had fun fighting that thing, even as cool as it was. It was never a good day when most of your attacks bounced off and came back at you.

Zer0 finally joined in on the conversation. "Even so, it was still better than our failed hunting trip. Man may be the Most Dangerous Game. However, when Nakayama fell, he presented no challenge." Gaige and Axton suppressed their laughs. They weren't sure if Zer0's joke was intentional, but it was best not to offend him.

"Guys, Guys, Memory Lane is nice and all, but aren't we getting off topic? We still have a depot to take out." All attention refocused on Mordy. "The Echo's we've been picking up from it suggest there's only a skeleton human crew there. Mostly IT guys and a few security personnel. You can expect the usual assortment of loaders, however."

"Senor Mordecai, do you have any intel on what kind of guns we can find there? Salvador needs a new shotgun!"

"Heh heh heh. I don't have any specifics, but it IS an armory. I'm sure you'll find something of interest there."

Gaige's eyes lit up. "Ohh! I call all the shock guns! Last one there has to oil Deathtrap!" She jumped off the balcony, and started sprinting to the fast travel station.

"Hey Gaige, Wait up!" Axton called out after her, but she had already disappeared around the corner. "I swear, that girl when she gets an idea in her head…"

"Heh heh. Don't worry amigo. We were all young once, right?"

"I suppose so. I just hope she doesn't get herself killed some day rushing off like that."

A high pitched, guttural laugh came from behind him. "This, coming from the man who doesn't use cover and claims he's immortal? You're too much!" Maya was doubled over laughing, tears in the corners of her eyes.

"Oh can it, Maya. You know what I meant. Hey, where's Sal and Zer0?"

"Sal jumped after Gaige, said it looked like fun. Zer0 is… well, Zer0." shrugged Mordecai.

Axton sighed. "I guess we best get moving then. Come on Maya."

Maya tried her best to sober up, and put on her best soldier face and saluted Axton. "Yes, Sir, Mr. Invincible Soldier, Sir!" She couldn't hold it in and immediately resumed laughing her ass off.

Down at the fast travel station, Gaige was about to travel to The Dust, only to remember that this place wasn't accessible from the ground. She cursed herself for not waiting to hear the location before rushing off.

"Hey, Axton! Took you long enough! So where are we headed? ... And what's wrong with Maya?"

The siren still had tears in her eyes and was chortling under her breath. "Ignore her. The Fast Travel Station is named The Dust – South."

"Gee, real original, aren't they?"

"What do you want? They set this station up recently PDQ. And with Jack gone there's no one around to give things bad names."

Gaige let out a rather undignified snort. "Hah, that's true. Let's get going. Deathtrap is itching to go, and Momma needs a new shock gun!" With that, Gaige activated the fast travel station and started the mass travel countdown. In 5 seconds they were in a blue light stream heading for The Dust – South.

They emerged from the Digistruction into a narrow dead-end canyon, no more than 20 feet at the widest. The Fast Travel was nearly against the wall of the canyon, with it going straight ahead for 500 feet. Axton immediately tensed up. This was not good. If they ran into trouble, there would be only one way in or out of this place, and that path was a kill zone waiting to happen. Axton didn't like this place, and he'd only just arrived.

"Salvador! You take Left Flank. Gaige! You're on Right Flank. Zer0's covering our six. Maya, you take center. I'm on point! Keep close and your eyes peeled."

Several uncomfortable seconds passed, all of his friends staring at him. A small chuckle came from the group. They had seen Axton's soldier boy routine before, and they wondered if he had ever really left the military. Axton kicked himself internally. He knew he couldn't order his friends around, especially such a group so strong willed and individualist. The training Dahl gave him stuck with him, however, and he sometimes reverted to it on instinct without thinking. This, of course, amused his friends to no end. That seemed like a lifetime ago now, especially since some of the tactics used to keep men alive seemed redundant in the face of New-U stations. But Axton didn't like relying on them, and only trusted them as far as he could throw them. Seeing as they were bolted to the ground, that wasn't very far.

Still, the group did as he asked, as they all respected his tactical mind. Only Maya gave him further guff for it. "Yes Sir, Mr. Soldier Boy!" and erupted into another bout of mirth. He hated when she called him that. They walked in formation down the narrow canyon, Axton eyes constantly scanning. It took a left turn and opened up a bit, revealing a drop off. The only way down and back was a narrow switchback foot path. It looked recently carved. The group continued down this path, arriving on the floor of the second part of the canyon. They could have jumped down, (Their shields would protect them from damage.) but they preferred not to do that unless it was an emergency. Hard on the joints, even though they took no real damage. The canyon finally started to open up into a plateau, ringed by higher peaks. Axton visibly relaxed a bit. They were far from safe, but open ground gave them some options.

"I think I see it. 2 miles ahead. Maya, Use the Rangefinder on my COM."

Maya peered into the device strapped to Axton's shoulder. "Two point three miles. Not bad, Ax."

"Let's keep moving. Hyperion's waiting for us, and I don't want to disappoint them now, do we?" Smiles all around the group. Despite Axton's serious mode, they were all looking forward to this. To paraphrase Brick, "Kill Hyperion, Loot Guns, and Get Paid?" Pretty much the dream job.

At a mile out, they spotted a signpost. "Welcome to the Hyperion Galactic Peace Munitions Depot." Underneath was a smaller tagline. "Bringing safety and order to us all with superior firepower!" It also mentioned the facility was 1 mile away.

The Hunters stared at the sign for a bit, in disbelief. "Remember how I said Jack wasn't around to give things bad names before? I take it back." Axton face-palmed as she said this.

As the comrades walked on, they could start to see the scope of the facility. It was laid out in a square shape, with a central courtyard. In the courtyard were several moonshot landing pads, and what looked like a port for a moon shuttle. It didn't look all that big from the outside, but if this place was as important as Mordecai said it was, it likely continued underground. At the entrance to the courtyard, there was a Competitor Deterrence Field. (Better known as a death wall.) However, strangely, it was deactivated.

"Mordecai? Axton. We have arrived at the depot, no problems. No resistance yet, there's a death wall here but it's shut off. Looks like a standard Hyperion trap to me."

"Understood. If I recall correctly, you and your friends eat Hyperion traps for breakfast."

"Damn Straight. We'll be out of contact for a few minutes once we go inside. I'll check in then, Out."

Sure enough, as soon as all of them had crossed the threshold of the death wall, it activated. They then heard the familiar screech of a moonshot drop. A Badass Constructor. Out of the left side doors walked out an Ultimate Badass Loader, and from the right a trio of war loaders. Meanwhile, the various digistruct stations around the court yard were busy constructing basic loaders.

Axton felt himself going into soldier mode again.

"Maya, Sal, take the Ultimate! Zero, Gaige, the Constructor! I'll handle the war loaders and the small fry!"

There was no argument this time, and the group started attacking their targets. Axton took out a pair of turret pods from his SDU; one in each hand. He longbow threw them to opposite sides of the courtyard, where they stuck to the walls with Maglocks.

"Have you met the twins!?" Axton drew a Hornet and started firing at the nearest loader.

Maya and Sal opened up on the ultimate loader. Maya threw an orb of slag, and Phaselocked it. Sal started Gunzerking with a corrosive smg and sniper. Maya then wrecked it with accurate fire on its joints. It was over before the robot could calculate exactly how screwed it was.

Gaige and Zer0's attack on the Constructor was going similarly well. Deathtrap was slicing up the additional loaders the Constructor had built; Gaige was using a shock plasma caster for suppressive fire on the robot's exposed eye. She hadn't seen Zer0 for at least 30 seconds though… where was that bastard? She got her answer when a sword appeared in the robot's eye. Zero twisted the blade, removed it with one smooth motion, and the eye came out impaled on it. The constructor promptly exploded.

"A metal beast

That cannot move at all

Is not a challenge."

The turrets had made short work of the smaller loaders, and this massacre only got worse once Deathtrap was free to join the fray. Axton had polished off the last war loader, and was checking for additional targets.

"My sector clear! How about you guys?"

"What took you so long, Senor? We were falling asleep over here!"

"Zer0 got his stabbity-stab on, DT sliced em up, and I barely got an anarchy buzz. Yeah, were done."

There didn't appear to be any more loaders digistructing, and the death wall shut itself off as soon as the last bot died.

"This place looks pretty big. Let's keep our groups and search. Maya and Sal, Go left. Zer0 and Gaige, take right. I'll go straight."

"Roger that, but why are you always flying solo Ax?" wondered Gaige.

"Aww, come on, you know I'm not alone. I got the ladies here! Right girls?" As soon as he said that, the turrets time expired, and deconstructed.

"Ouch. Now that's cold." commented Maya.

Zer0 and Gaige walked though the hallway. Inside was an office complex. When they entered the cubicle farm, Gaige nearly fell flat on her face, tripping over a dead body.

"Geez! Doesn't anyone clean up after battles on this planet?"

"It appears that this facility was attacked before we arrived."

Zer0 was right. The offices were an utter mess, papers everywhere, bloodstains mixed with burn marks, and the remains of the Hyperion office staff and security were strewn about. Gaige spotted a terminal that was still functional and started looking for information. After a few minutes hacking though the security, she was in. She quickly found a list of shipment manifests. She echoed Axton.

"Axton, according to their records, there were no major moves of the weapons planned. All the weapons should still be here. As to why this place took so long to get a fast travel, it looks like just typical Hyperion bureaucracy."

"Understood. Meet me back in the center hallway. Looks like someone shot up this place good."

"We saw the same thing on our end. We'll meet you there."

Before she left the ransacked office, she checked the body of what looked like the head honcho of the place. What she was expecting to find wasn't there. "Damn it."

"What's wrong, Gaige?" asked Zer0.

"The security keycard isn't here. This isn't looking good…"

Maya and Salvador weren't doing any better. Their hallway appeared to be totally empty. Not even a light switch.

"Ooh, an empty hallway! How exciting! I guess I'll just kill bandits by bringing them here and boring them to death!"

Maya did her best to ignore Sal. Now that her earlier humor over Axton had dissipated, her Salvador induced headache was returning. Something was wrong here. No one, not even Hyperion, builds a totally empty hallway, devoid of anything. Someone was doing a poor job of hiding something. Then it hit her. The only thing in the room was a Hyperion logo on the floor. "Come on now guys, you'll have to do better than that!" She touched the symbol with her left hand, giving it a small spark with her powers. The emblem lit up, and the floor fell away, revealing it was an elevator down.

It was pitch black down here. The power to this section of the building must have failed. Maya created a large ball of light over her left hand and used it as a flashlight.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love your powers, senorita?"

"You could stand to mention it more."

As the light filled the underground chamber, it became clear that it was a cavernous warehouse filled to the brim with equipment chests.

It also became distressingly clear that all of the chests were empty. Not even a single white pistol remained. "Senorita, what happened to all the guns?"

"I don't know. But I do know that this is not good."

Maya reported her findings to Axton, who told them to join him. He and Gaige had discovered a still sealed blast door, and figured they would want to be there as they tried to open it. As he waited for them to arrive, he reported in to Mordecai.

"Mordecai, the facility has been attacked before we got here. From what Zer0 says, the corpses are 2-3 days old. Maya reports all the guns are gone."

"Repeat last transmission, did you say ALL the guns are gone!?"

"Confirmed. There's a small blast door we're trying to open, but other than that everything's gone. Any idea who could have done this? No way the Zaffords or the Hodunks had enough manpower for something this big."

"No way they did it, especially after their feud reignited. No solid intel for you, only rumors and hearsay."

"And what does the scuttlebutt say?"

"Again, this is mostly Rakk Ale fueled paranoia, but they say there's a new bandit king. As in, king of all the bandit tribes."

"The bandit clans, working together? Yeah, right. Tell me the one about the dancing bear in the tutu."

"I hear you man, but that's all I got for you right now. We'll figure it out once you guys get back."

"Understood. Let's hope whoever did do it is long gone. Axton, Out."

Axton returned his attention to the door. The security key-card Gaige had noted missing was placed in the keypad, but the key pad was riddled with bullets. Apparently the would be thieves lacked a required password, and tried shooting the door open. Needless to say, this failed.

"Ideas, anyone?" asked Axton.

"Deathtrap is all over this!" Gaige raised her mechanical left arm and summoned Deathtrap. Deathtrap used his laser to melt the seams holding the door together, and gave two quick slashes to the door. A quick body blow and the door collapsed. "Good one, Babe!"

"You really should build him that extra arm for high fives, Gaige. I say he earned it on this one."

"I know right? I'll get on it as soon as we get back!"

They entered the small room to find 5 Dahl red chests in a semicircle.

"One for each of us, I guess. No weeping if you get crap!" Axton strolled over to the center chest and activated its release. The others soon followed.

"Well, would you look at that?" Axton picked up the Dahl Minigun. He remembered these from his days in the military. A collaborative effort between Dahl and Vladof, if he recalled correctly. He was quite impressed with them at the time, and had been looking for a new one ever since. This one even had all Dahl parts for increased burst count. Now this was a weapon he could get behind!

Maya opened her chest. "A white shotgun, and a green bandit pistol? Really. Do you WANT to feel the Wrath of a Siren!?" Maya's flame wings were starting to come out.

"Whoa, down girl! You'll get something next time! Please don't roast us all, we rather like our ugly mugs." Axton pleaded with the enraged Siren to calm herself.

Zer0 opened his chest to find a powerful Jakobs sniper rifle. It wasn't really better than the one he already had, but it had its strengths. "Acceptable."

Gaige opened hers next. The first gun was a Bandit Gatling gun with the shock elemental drive. "Meh, I think I tried one of these before. It wasn't great. But then again I didn't have The Better Half yet… I guess I'll try it."

Gaige looked at the second gun in the chest. Before the others could do anything, Gaige screamed.

"Gaige, what is it? Is it a bomb?!" Axton asked panicked.

"OMFG. IT COULDN'T BE! IT… IT IS! THAT'S A THUNDERBALL FISTS!" Gaige was already cradling the gun in her arms like a favorite doll. "I've wanted this ever since I saw it in the Maliwan Echo catalogue!"

"Jesus girl, you just about gave us all a heart attack! Calm down!" Maya looked like she was trying to decide on tearing the Mechromancer a new one for getting better loot than her, and remembering her meditation from the monks on anger control. Anger control won in the end.

"Well congratulations. I know how much you like shock weapons. Make sure you pop some stalkers for me with it, ok?" Axton seemed to have recovered his composure.

"Will do! He he he he! I'm going to love you and hold you and call you George! Hi George! Welcome to the family!"

Sal was the last to open his chest. As it opened, he was uncharacteristically silent. Reverent, even. Sal kneeled and seemed to utter a quick prayer before retrieving his prize. It was a Hyperion Butcher, a brand new model that had just come out before Jack fell.

"Aww, no fair, I wanted to have the best loot today!"Gaige pouted.

"Such a find is indeed a treasure. Enjoy it, my friend." Zer0 finally added.

"We best be heading out. Whoever raided this place didn't leave much. I don't want to be around if they come back."Axton made his way out to the courtyard, motioning for the others to follow.

"At least today wasn't a total bust. We all…" Maya glared at him, fire still in her eyes. "Ok, most of us got some good gear, and we have a new enemy to kill! No idea who he is, but still, it's a start."

"I'm just glad the treasure room wasn't a trap! My new shotgun could have been scuffed!"

The entire group froze and glared at Salvador. "What, what did I say!?"

"Sal, you just HAD to say it. That's like tempting fate by skinning a black cat that's run under a ladder while performing the black sacrament!" Gaige couldn't believe his stupidity. "It's Axton's first rule! It's ALWAYS a trap!"

"Right you are, Vault Hunters!"

"Who said that?"

The group scanned the horizon and saw no one. Zer0 was the first to hear it. The sound of a Buzzard engine. No, it was more than one. It sounded like…

An entire fleet of Buzzards.

Before they knew it, the skies were filled with Buzzards. The horizon now was filled with bandits hiding in the cliffs.

"Shit. How did we miss that?!" Axton cursed himself for not noticing the bandits hiding in the far cliffs. They did appear to be wearing camouflage, which was definitely unusual for bandits.

The bandits stared pouring down from the cliffs, first in the tens, then in the hundreds. Within minutes he had lost count, and there had to be at least two thousand. Above them there had to be at least 20 attack buzzards, with 5 cargo Buzzards dropping supplies for the bandits. More were arriving by the second.

"What the heck is that thing?"

Gaige pointed to the sky, where a mechanical monstrosity struggled to stay aloft. It looked like someone had cut off the tail of a Buzzard, welded a shipping container to it, and added 3 more pairs of engines to it. Hell, that's probably exactly what they did. The transport Buzzard had enough room for 8 bandits inside. Four if they were nomads or goliaths. This one however, had only one occupant and several pallets.

"I'm surprised it took you guys so long to get here. I thought we'd have to fight you to get to the guns first."

"Oh? And who the hell are you supposed to be?" asked Axton.

"The name's unimportant. All you need to know is I'm the Bandit King."

"So there was some truth to those rumors after all, eh? What the hell do you want?"

"Oh come now, with a name like the Bandit King I think you can figure that one out."

"That's what I was afraid of. I was kinda hoping we could all just go back to Moxxi's and have a beer, and get out of this dammed desert. Shame you have to die now."

"Do you really think I'd fight the Vault Hunters unprepared? If you hadn't noticed, we have you surrounded, and my transport Buzzards are bringing in my men as we speak. If you give up now, we might let you live. If you asked nicely."

Axton cursed to himself. He knew he hated this place. Now he knew why. His instincts had been right; this place was a death trap.

"Guys, I hate to say it, but I think we need to make a fighting retreat." He whispered this to the group.

"What? Why? We can take these guys!" Sal was offended to the insult of his badassness. "And besides, it's not like we can really die! We're still in the New-U system!"

"True, but I'm getting a different vibe from this guy. He seems to be smarter than your average bandit leader, and he would have thought of that. He probably has guys at the travel station trying to do something about it. And I keep telling you, it's not reliable! They're an insurance policy, but we can't count on them working every single time with no faults. We have to try to fight our way back. "

"I agree with the soldier. A tactical retreat is the soundest course of action. We shall fight them on our own terms the next time we meet." Zer0 continued scanning the horizon as he said this.

"Besides, they number in the thousands. We are only 5, 8 if you include Axton's turrets and Deathtrap." Maya seemed to have leveled out again, going into crisis mode.

"Fine, fine, live to fight another day. As long as I get to use my new shotgun!"

"Well, Vault Hunters, I'm waiting!" What will it be?"

Gaige beamed at Axton. "Can I do the honors?"

"Be my guest."

"Fuck you and the Buzzard you rode in on!"

The Bandit King shook his head. "Fine. Have it your way."

"All right! Same formation as when we came in! Sal, you're on anti-air duty! Maya, keep us healed! God knows we'll need it. Zer0, pick off any one who gets within 100 meters! We need to keep moving, suppressing fire only! Don't go for the kill, just wound them and move on! NOW MOVE YOUR ASSES!"

Axton charged off for the canyon where they had entered. As he did, thousands of bandits opened up on their position. Then nearest ones were still over half a mile away, so their accuracy was still bad. However, the sheer volume of fire meant that a lot of rounds would still hit their group. Axton was wearing The Sham shield, but he knew the others weren't. He deployed his turrets as quickly as he could, knowing they were mostly a distraction against this many enemies. He saw Deathtrap fly by in the corner of his eye as well. Good. This would be the hardest 2 mile run he had ever done, but damn if he wasn't going to get everyone out alive.

The diamond formation rushed forward. Sal filled the skies with corrosive lead with the same combo he had used on the loader. Gaige was using her new bandit Gatling gun more out of instinct than tactics. It worked however, and the bandits on the right flank stuck to cover rather than shooting back, especially with close enough hitting them behind cover. Zer0 started out with a sniper rifle, but soon switched to a Jakobs assault rifle to pick off the stragglers of the enormous horde. Maya was kept busy shooting her comrades to heal them, and tossing transfusion grenades whenever she caught a free moment. Axton was taking full advantage of his new Dahl Minigun to spray as much lead downrange as possible. This formation kept rushing forward, never ceasing fire, never missing a step.

Soon they were only a mile from the canyon entrance. But there was a new problem. 5 transport buzzards had just dropped off a small army of shield nomads and goliaths. They were quickly forming a shield wall across the mouth of the canyon, with the goliaths taking higher positions to shoot down. Sal noticed another problem.

"Uh, guys, I'm not so good on legendary weapons, but does that look like a Norfleet the Bandit King has?"

"What?" Sure enough, when Axton looked at the Bandit King's Buzzard, he was holding a Maliwan Norfleet Rocket Launcher. "Christ! Where the hell did he even find one of those!?"

The Bandit King's first shot was well behind the Vault hunters, but its impact was felt by the psychos who had been chasing the group. The trailing bandits disintegrated before Zer0's eyes.

"Sal, can you get a shot on his Buzzard?"

"No can do, Senor! His attack buzzards keep screening him!"

"Shit. Everyone! Stop firing and just RUN!"

The good news was that the Bandit King was a terrible shot. The bad news was that every shot was getting better, as his pilot learned how to track the vault hunters, and he became familiar with his weapon.

"You think he'll run out of ammo soon, Sal?"

"Uh, you know those boxes he had in the Buzzard? I can see now they were crates of rockets."

Axton mumbled to himself, "I hate this place."

They were coming close to the shield wall now. Axton had to give him credit; the guy had a good plan. Block your enemy's only escape route, and nuke him to hell with a rocket launcher. This guy didn't mess around.

"Any ideas on that phalanx?"

"This one is mine." Zer0 shot off the helmets of the goliaths, and entered deception. He appeared behind the center nomad and cut off his head. He drew a pistol and fired 2 shots into head of each adjacent nomad, killing them instantly. Zer0 disappeared again, returning to the group, just as the goliaths started to attack the remaining nomads. The group charged though the hole in the wall, taking pot shots at them as they passed.

"Good job Zer0, I owe you a beer for that one!"

"I shall accept your reward."

Behind them, the latest Norfleet salvo obliterated the fighting goliaths and nomads. They were almost to the switchback path now… and the ridge was lined with Marauders.

"Oh come on! Don't you guys know when to give up?" Axton threw his turrets again at the walls above the ridge, and Gaige deployed Deathtrap again. Sal called out to the group that the Bandit King had to circle around to get a clear shot on them. That at least bought them some time, Axton thought. But he had to admit, this Bandit King guy was impressive. Trap after trap, overwhelming force, and defense in depth. This was no ordinary bandit. Probably a disgraced Ex-general, if he had to guess.

The switchback path was only wide enough for one at a time, and there were already bandits taking up positions on it.

"Senor Zer0! I have an idea. You can ride on my shoulders and we can both clear the path at once!"

"You can't be serio-"

Before he could finish, Sal had grabbed him and forcibly put him on his shoulders and started Gunzerking up the path. The assassin could only sigh, take out an SMG and start firing. By the time they had made it up, the turrets and deathtrap had taken care of the marauders on the ridge. It was only a few hundred feet more to the station now. However, their formation had been scattered now, and Gaige was now leading, with Axton, Maya, Zer0, and Sal behind her. They raced head on to the station as another Norfleet burst landed dangerously close to them. Bandits rained fire on them from above the canyon walls. Gaige finally reached the station, but in her haste forgot to activate the mass transit option. Instead, she deconstructed herself into the systems buffer. Axton and the others did the same, as the bandit king lined up one last shot. Sal hit the first destination on the list as the Bandit King fired. Sal deconstructed just as the energy ball impacted the station, and it was blown into millions of pieces.

When one of the glass fragments landed that used to be the screen landed, it had Ame_s_is burnt into it.

* * *

**_AN:_ GAH! I wasn't expecting it to be that long! I thought I was just writing a short introductory chapter, but noooooooo! lol.**

**I'm looking for any con crit, espcially on chapter length, readability, and how I did as far as keeping things canonical. (I know Maya is slightly OOC in this 1st chapter, its mostly for rule of funny). This is my first story,so I need your help to improve.**

**Also, I promise we'll start off in FMA next time!**


	2. Chapter 2: Rough Arrival

There was a knock at Edward's door. He was in no mood for visitors right now. He rolled over and pulled his pillow over his head, hoping the offending knocker would take a hint. The knocker didn't. "Go away. I'm busy."

"Edward, It's Lieutenant Hawkeye. Sorry to disturb you but the Colonel needs to see you."

This just made Edward's mood worse. "All right, I'll be right there. Just let me sleep for another couple of hours."

"He means now, Ed."

"I knew that wouldn't work. Come on Al, let's go."

"Coming, brother!"

The three of them started walking to the meeting room of the East City Headquarters.

"So, Lieutenant, what's this about?"

"The Colonel will brief you when you get there. All I know is its time for you to be a dog of the military again."

"Gee, that's exactly what I wanted to hear."

"I'm sorry to bring this up so soon after Nia's death. But you know the military doesn't care about its soldier's personal lives."

Wasn't that the truth? Thought Ed.

"Brother, are you sure you're going to be all right?"

"What can I do, Al? I just have to "Solider" on."

Ed about spat those last words out of his mouth.

"Fullmetal, nice of you to _finally_ join us this morning. Some of us actually planned to do something today." Ed shot Colonel Mustang a look that could melt steel, and thought DIE.

"Now that we're all here, we can begin this briefing. The top brass has a new assignment for us. Intel division has discovered a rebellion hideout in the Warehouse district of the city. We've been assigned to take it out."

"Not to be insubordinate Sir, but shouldn't we be out hunting for Scar? This is a job for the grunts." Havoc looked rather cross as he said this.

"Trust me, I feel the same way, but it seems we're in the middle of a political turf war. Someone with almost as much clout as the Fuhrer, if that's even possible."

There were assorted murmurs around the room at that revelation.

"In any case, we attack at 1600 hours this evening. Our target is located at 46 Iron Street. We will be splitting up into two assault forces. I will lead the first force, and Havoc, Breda? You're with me. We are A team." Both men stood and saluted. "Yes, Sir!"

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes will lead the second force. Fullmetal, Lieutenant Hawkeye and Master Sergeant Fury will be B team."

All of them stood and saluted save for Ed.

"Each team will take 40 men from the Garrison here. W don't expect for there to be more than 40 of their guys at the location total. It looks mostly to be a supply base for them."

"We will meet at the motor pool at 1500 hours. Until then, Dismissed!"

Edward and Alphonse started to walk back to their room. "Do you want me to come along brother? I don't have to worry about bullets." "No, that's ok Al. Besides, if the Colonel wanted you there he would have asked for you. And officially speaking, you're not part of the military so you're not under his command."

"But Al?"

"Yes Brother?"

"Promise me you'll never become a dog of the military like me."

"Of course, Ed."

* * *

Gaige felt her consciousness surge through the digistruct system. It was an odd feeling she never got used to. You were fully aware, but you have no physical body while transporting. She could feel the streams of data that were her friends near her. It was sort of what it felt like to have a robot's AI attached to your arm, but multiplied by 4. However, as soon as Salvador joined the stream, she knew something was wrong. There was a blinding flash, and the blight blue of the stream started to pulsate with all the colors of the rainbow. She had no idea what had happened, but she knew it wasn't good. Gaige looked behind her (look not being the right word, as she had no physical body at the moment) and was mortified. The stream had gone black, and the blackness was closing in on them. "No. NO! The station must have been destroyed!" She tried to shout this, but all she heard was her mind proclaiming it. With no mouth she could not warn her friends. The only way to communicate was to merge the streams of thought, and that was an incredibly bad idea. Something about being forever merged as a single, but divided conciseness sharing a body seemed like a sure recipe for madness. Gaige was close to her friends, but she didn't want to be THAT close. All she could do was hope that they too noticed it, and willed themselves to move faster. Not that she was sure that would help any.

The stream continued to shift color, going now into weird colors and patterns like polka-dot, kaleidoscopic, and plaid. The darkness continued to close, closing in on the ball of light that was Salvador. Gaige tried to force herself not to think what would happen if the darkness caught up to him. Being obliterated because your data stream was cut off was not a pretty way to die. She forced that thought out of her head with a new one. Why was this transfer taking so long? At most it normally lasted 5 seconds, 10 in a lag spike. She was certain that it had been at least 2 minutes, despite having no way to tell time. Gaige saw a bright light ahead. No, it wasn't light. It was pure whiteness. Ahead in the whiteness was a grey speck. As it drew nearer, she could see it was a massive set of grey stone doors. Carved in the doors was a tree with roots, and each branch and root ended in an inscription. The doors opened, and a giant sideways eye appeared. Black tentacle like hands grabbed at them, and pulled their data stream into it. As she crossed its threshold, images started appearing in her mind. Her friends. Her Father and Mother. Marcy Holloway's exploded corpse. Handsome Jack killing Roland and kidnapping Lilith. More and more images poured in. No... These weren't just images or memories.

They were fragments of knowledge. More started pouring into her; knowledge of worlds she'd never been to, wars she'd never fought. Families and people she didn't know. Technologies she couldn't even begin to fathom. The further she went into this black stream of data, the faster it came. The more she absorbed. "No. No. It's too much! It's too fast! Make it stop!" But it just continued pouring in faster. Soon it felt as everything in the universe was flowing into her. She didn't understand most of it. What she did intrigued her, and she wanted to know more. But it was hard to focus on that with the pain the overloading of her mind brought. Her mind writhed in agony, screamed for her body to cease whatever foolish action that was causing it so much pain. But there was no body to blame this time. Even if there was, nothing her body could produce came close to this. Even cutting off her arm felt like a skin prick compared to this. Her mind was ready to crumble, unable to take the agony any longer, as the imagined tears streaked down her imagined face. Then, in a single moment of clarity, it all made sense. The entire universe made sense. But as soon as that feeling came, it had gone. As she was certain she was going to die, it suddenly let up. Soon it was but a trickle. Before she could become relived however, she saw the blackness catch up to Salvador. His light vanished. "No... Sal. Little Big guy..." As she grieved for her friend, she saw another set of doors ahead, and they opened outward. Another area of whiteness appeared, until it gave way to the normal blue digistruct stream. Finally, she saw the whiteness associated with the end of the digistream. This nightmare was finally over.

Gaige felt the digistruct process reform her body. She immediately doubled over and vomited. She wasn't sure if it was the result of the trauma her mind just suffered, the emotional distress of losing Salvador, or nausea from the overly long stream. It was probably a hefty dose of each. Her body convulsed uncontrollably, and she was panting heavily on her hands and knees. She took a moment to catch her breath, and then sat down on the ground. Her body still shook like a leaf caught in an F-5 tornado. "Calm down, girl. It's over. It's over. You're not going to die." After five minutes, Gaige wobbly tried to stand.

For the first time since coming out of the digistruct, her body cooperated with her. With her faculties returning, Gaige did a digistruct check to make sure everything was where it should be, and nothing that didn't belong had been added. She looked down her shirt and put her flesh hand down her skirt. Everything was as it should be there, and she didn't feel any extra appendages. Amazingly, the reconstruction had gone perfectly, despite the highly abnormal data stream. Now that she was sure everything was normal with her, she saw something was abnormal about her surroundings. None of her friends were standing next to her.

During a normal teleport, they should all have been standing right next to her. But this was far and away from a normal teleport. The Mechromancer reached for her Echo device. It looked cripsy, but still functional. "Gaige to Axton, come in." Static. "Gaige to Axton, do you read me?" More silence. "Gaige, calling Maya. Come in Maya." The sound of the breeze was her only reply. "Zer0, I know you're not much of a conversationalist, but talk to me buddy!" Her response is what she would expect of Zer0, more quiet. "Gaige to Salva…" Oh. That's right. Sal was… No, this was no time to think of that. And she was certain the rest had to have come out of the digistruct, the blackness had not yet reached Zer0 when she exited, and it looked like he would escape before it reached him. "Lilith, Mordecai, Brick, anyone out there?" Mum's the word. There was one last thing she could try, the Crimson Raider's emergency frequency. Nothing. That was bad, as it was always broadcasting a looped tape of contact information. She tried some other random frequencies to make sure the device was working. Sure enough, she was able to pick up some stations, one that was playing music, another making what sounded like a news report (Though it sounded nothing like Pandoran news) and a radio drama. The Echo was working, which meant one thing. She was out of range of Pandora's Echo system. Though this didn't explain why she couldn't reach her fellow Vault Hunters.

Gaige turned around to the Fast Travel station. Its holographic projector was displaying a red circle with an X in its center, and puffs of white-grey smoke wisped out of it. "Oh man, and I thought I was in rough shape. In this state, I doubt its New-U function is working… I better not die then, huh..?" Well, best to try the obvious and see if she could transport somewhere, as little as that idea appealed to her considering what had just occurred. She brought up the Travel menu.

"Error. No Fast Travel nodes detected. Please register a new node or contact your local Hyperion maintenance official."

Well that was just great. This thing must have taken the brunt of the damage for her when that wonky data stream came its way. Gaige brought up the manual node search bar.

"Error. Location [Sanctuary] not found."

The girl was getting a mild case of Déjà vu now. Where had she heard that before? Undeterred, she tried again.

"Error. Location [Overlook] not found." "Damn it, Overlook too? Hmm, what about..?"

"Error. Location [Southern Shelf] not found." "Kuso!"

"Error. Location [New Haven] not found." "Whasacomanago?"

"Error. Location [Arid Badlands] not found." "Tutsi Fruitsi!"

"Error. Location [Jakobs Cove] not found." "Aye Caramba!"

"Error. Location [This Machine Is A Stupid Piece Of Crap] not found."

Impossible. Even with the machine this damaged, it should still be able to detect a local node. There was nowhere you could travel on a Fast Travel network that would take you off the network. They had a limited range, usually limited to one planet, two if they were close enough. For her to be completely off Pandora's grid was _Inconceivable. _Well, if she wasn't on Pandora, where was she? Further evidence to her not being on Pandora presented itself in the form of a large city just over the horizon. It looked well maintained, but not new enough to be Opportunity. In her immediate surroundings was a grassy plain with a single large oak tree in it. To her back was the fast travel, flanked by bushes on all but one side. Behind that she could see a simple dirt road stretching as far as she could see in either direction, with the occasional tree and shrub along the route. This place was totally quiet, not a soul in sight.

So when another voice spoke to her, she about jumped out of her skin.

"Well hey there girlie. That's some getup you got there. Guessing you ain't from around here. What's a nice girl like you doing out in the middle of nowhere all alone?"

The owner of the voice was a middling height man with blonde hair, dressed in a blue uniform with a double breasted jacket with silver trimming. He also wore black combat boots and had a red armband tied onto his right arm. There were three other men with him dressed in the exact same attire. Each man had a rifle strapped over his shoulder.

It took Gaige a moment to regain her composure and formulate a coherent reply. "I… I was looking for my friends."

"What, on that metal box over there? I might not know machines, but that thing looks like toast to me. And by the look on your face you didn't have any luck." Gaige simply nodded. Where had these guys come from? She hadn't seen them approaching. Then again she wasn't exactly in surveillance mode either.

"Aww, don't worry baby, we'll be your friends! Right fellas?" The men all nodded.

"And what if I said I just feel like being alone right now?"

"Don't be like that sugar! A fine ass such as you shouldn't have to be alone."

"Oh, I'm the ass? Go to hell, you sexist pervert."

One of the other men chimed in, the one with jet black hair. "Hey lady, from where we're standing, you're the pervert. You were the one feeling yourself up earlier."

Shit. How long had these assholes been watching her? Is it possible they found the Fast Travel, didn't know what it was, and had it staked out?

"Just leave me alone. I'm really not in the mood for this right now." Gaige turned around to leave. As she did so, she heard the distinctive noise of four rifle bolts cocking.

The brown haired one with glasses spoke up now. "Lady, I'm afraid we're going to have to insist. You see, me and my buddies here have been deployed a long time in this shitty post of watching the road. Quite frankly we're so bored we considered chopping our balls off to play marbles with. But now that you're here, I think we deserve some R&R."

So that was it, huh? After the mental trauma she'd been though in the last few minutes, she could add physical trauma to that list? The way she felt right now her first instinct was to find the nearest hole, crawl in it, and die. Some deep, dark part of her whispered that she should just let them do it. It would be enough of a distraction from all the pain she felt.

"…no."

"Huh? What'd you say missy?"

No. No. A thousand times NO! Gaige told that dark part of herself exactly where it could shove it. She was a woman of science and badassery and she'd be DAMMED if some punks would take advantage of her emotional state.

"I SAID FUCKING NO, YOU DICKWADS!" Gaige grabbed her Bandit Gatling gun off the ground where she had dropped it when she fell. Gaige raised the barrel to the group of men and fired.

Nothing happened. A second trigger pull produced the same result. A quick inspection revealed the problem: a jammed casing in the firing mechanism. A burst of laughter erupted from the men.

"Lady, that's a real pretty toy you got there, but unless you wana get hurt just do what we say."

"Stupid bandit piece of crap!" There was no time to clear the jam; Bandit assault rifles were infamous for how long it took to remove the magazine. Gaige tried swapping to a different weapon. But her SDU was giving off no light and was unresponsive. Shit. Was ANYTHING working anymore? To add to that, her Echo's H.U.D. was malfunctioning, so she had no idea how strong those guy's guns were, or their defense abilities. She also didn't relish the idea of rushing them all with her hammer against an unknown target. So she had one option left. It was an option she felt she would thoroughly enjoy. Gaige tossed aside the useless weapon.

"Now, that's a good girl. Don't worry, we'll treat you right! …Well, we can't promise we won't be a little rough with yah!"

"I'm sorry guys, I lied. I'm not alone."

"Huh? That's some poor bluff girlie. You know there's nobody here but us and these trees."

"Oh, I think you're quite wrong about that."

Gaige raised her left arm.

* * *

At 1500 hours (That's 3 o'clock to all you civilians) Ed, Mustang, and all the other team members assembled at the motor pool. Mustang turned to address the strike teams.

"All right, we're taking two separate routes to the warehouse. Each truck will travel individually, and we are maintaining radio silence during this operation. The enemy likely has eyes and ears all over the city and we do not want to tip them off. A truck will depart every three to five minutes at random, heading in a different direction. We will meet at rendezvous point Echo-Charlie two blocks from the warehouse. Any questions?"

There were none.

"Good. Now load up and head out!"

Edward climbed aboard one of the trucks with Lieutenant Hawkeye. Ed sat with his arms crossed, staring out the back of the truck, staring off into space. Several uncomfortable minutes passed as they waited for their turn to depart.

"Ed?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"If it's any consolation, the Colonel tried to have you removed from this op. The top brass wouldn't let him though. They wanted the "Famous Fullmetal Alchemist" on the job."

"Why, so the top brass could look pretty for the newspapers while stealing all the credit for our work?"

"That about sums it up, sadly."

"Why are you telling me this? It's not like that makes my mood any better. Is it so I won't be mad at the Colonel?"

"That's part of it. He cares about you, Ed, even if he doesn't always show it."

"Yeah, well if he really cared, he'd tell the brass that I might be their dog, but this dog doesn't take lives."

Hawkeye wanted to say that he did, but she didn't think that the conversation would go anywhere from there. The truck slowly rumbled out of the motor pool and headed down the street, going the opposite direction from the warehouse.

* * *

A fountain of crimson erupted from where the fourth man's head, with its formerly silvering hair, used to be. The three remaining men shrieked and jumped back, firing wildly ant the floating metal _thing _that had just decapitated their compatriot. All their shots went wild, and came nowhere near damaging the robot or its master.

"Atta boy! Rip 'em all up!"

The black haired man was next on Deathtrap's target list. A spinning rampage attack gutted him completely, shredding up his rifle he had tried to block with in the process. The third blonde haired man desperately fumbled with the pin on a grenade. DT used his laser on it, and it exploded in the man's hands, blowing him clean in half. The fourth man, the one with the brown hair and glasses, was backpedaling madly in a desperate attempt to escape. He tripped and fell with his back against the oak tree, his face quivering with fear.

Deathtrap stabbed his claws at the man's face. His glasses split clean in half at the bridge of the nose, and the claw drew blood.

But the man was not dead. A small stream of blood flowed from where the claw had just nicked the skin. He promptly soiled himself.

"All right babe, good job!" The man was absolutely bewildered by this turn of events.

"Why… why'd it spare me?"

"Consider yourself lucky. You get to see an ability my friends don't even know I have. "See, most of the time I let Deathtrap's onboard AI handle fighting. Oh, that's right, you haven't been formally introduced. Deathtrap, meet Rapist Asshole. Rapist Asshole, meet Deathtrap."

The man smiled weakly at Deathtrap. Deathtrap continued to stare at the man.

"But, I can also directly control deathtrap using my body movements. It allows me really fine control over his movements. Like, I could surgically remove your kidneys with him. The down side is it means I can't fire a gun at the same time, and I'm vulnerable to attack if he's not nearby. But it has its moments. Like this one."

"Wha-What do you want?"

"Ah, smart man! You realize that if you want to live though this, you'll tell me what I want to know, or I start seeing how much your organs will go for on the black market on this world. Or, I can just let Deathtrap do what he's programmed to." Gaige leaned over and whispered into the man's ear. "Psst, last time I checked, you were still marked as a hostile. Just a little tip." Gaige straightened back up into her Deathtrap control pose.

"Ok! Question number one. What planet are we on?"

"I-Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?!"

"BZZZZT! Wrong Answer! Here's your booby prize!" Gaige, via Deathtrap, started carving an Anarchy symbol on the man's forehead.

"AAAAARUGH! This planet doesn't have a name! Not one that I know of at least!"

"Then, Question two. Where are we?"

"A-a-a-a-a-a…."

"Come on now, spit it out."

"Amestris! We're in the country of Amestris! The city over there is East City!"

"See, that wasn't so hard, now was it? You get to keep your kidneys! For now, at least."

"Third Question. Who the hell are you guys?"

"I'm Thoma-"

"I couldn't give two shits about your names, asshole. What organization are you with? You guys are obviously military of some kind."

"The Amestris Military Rebellion, M-m-m-ma'am!"

"Oh? So you guys are rebels. I can relate to that, but it all depends who you're fighting against, Ain't that right DT?"

"We're rebelling because-"

"Did I ask you to speak? No? Then SHUT IT!"  
"Question Four. Are there any more members of your unit nearby?"

"N-No. Like we said, we were stuck out here to watch this never used road."

"Ok, Question Five. Where's the nearest outpost for your guys? I'm new to the neighborhood and I want to give them a little present for showing a new arrival such hospitality."

"You want me to get my buddies slaughtered? You're insane if you think I'll tell you that!"

"That wasn't a Yes Ma'am, Thank You, Ma'am! I just heard! You're a really bad solider. I don't think you deserve to wear that uniform." Deathtrap's other claw slowly slid up the man's chest, tearing up his shirt and leaving another small trail of blood.

"Come now, you really don't like your kidneys, now do you?"

"The warehouse district in East City! Iron Street, warehouse number 46!"

"We thank you for your cooperation. You're free to go."

"R-Really? You're not going to kill me?"

"Nope!" Gaige started collecting the dead men's wallets, taking out what she assumed was the local currency, inspecting it, then replacing it. Deathtrap still had the man pinned to the tree.

"Oh, but there are two more things. First, your wallet."

The man quickly complied.

"And the second..?"

Gaige drew her hammer with her robotic arm, and in a split second, was swinging down with all her force at the man's groin. As he writhed around in pain, Gaige continued speaking as if nothing had happened.

"Tell your unit that Gaige the Mechromancer is in Amestris. And that she's going to pay a visit to all of you. You'll know it was me when they see that symbol I carved into your forehead on their comrade's corpses. And finally, tell them that…"

"THE MECHROMANCER! IS NOT! TO BE FUCKED WITH!" She gave him three hard kicks in the gut timed to her pauses, and picked up her gun.

"Class dismissed!"

Gaige started walking towards East City. She decided that she felt much better already.

And once she got to that warehouse, she had a feeling she'd be back to her old self in no time.

* * *

**Authors Notes: Well, Gaige's into to Amestris was a bit dark, huh? It was a bit heavier than my earlier intentions, but I like it this way. Do NOT threaten to rape the mechromancer! It wont go well. ****Also, not much FMA this time but I promise next time the two plotlines will finally fuse.**

**If you read and enjoy this, please review it! even if its just to say hi, or L0Lz u r t3h suxx0rz. I'm really looking for constructive criticism however, as this is my first time writing anything creatively.**


	3. Chapter 3: Warehouse Wreckage

**Author's Notes: When you get to the Prisoner, do me a favor and read his lines in Incinerator Clayton's voice. (FMA fans, Youtube his name + audio logs.) It will give you the tone I'm going for.**

Gaige headed up the dirt road headed towards East City. She could still hear the howling of the man she had, uh, "questioned" for some time. She wished she'd be out of earshot soon; he was giving her a headache. Gaige looked at the sun to try to figure out what time it was. The clock on her Echo still worked, but it was set to Pandoran time. The sun was almost directly overhead, so Noon? But what did noon mean on this world? She had no idea how fast this planet rotated on its axis. Nothing she could do about that now, it would have to wait until she reached the city.

After she had walked a few miles, (the mapping function on her Echo kept track for her) she sighted a small cottage along the road, not more than a shack really. Gaige allowed herself to run towards it. Where there were houses there was food! Despite her earlier nausea she now felt like she could eat an entire skag. In a few quick bounds she reached it. The door was locked. Even though the door had glass windows, Gaige felt it better to pick the lock. Better to leave no evidence that she was here.

The lock was extremely simple, and with a hairpin she had in her hair she had it open in a minute. "Well, I guess I can add Breaking and Entering to my list of crimes." She looked around the small cottage. It was no more than 5 feet wide by 10 feet long. There was a small bed, a stove that looked like it doubled as heat source and cooking station, a small table/workbench and a shelf full of canned food. "Bingo! Dinner Time! Well, erm. Lunch time. It's dinner time on Pandora…" Gaige grabbed a can of beans and a can of tuna and quickly looked around for a can opener. Oddly, she didn't find one. Gaige just shrugged and digistructed a single claw on her robotic arm and opened the cans that way.

After her quick meal, Gaige took the Assault Rifle off of her back, and set it on the table. She had the jam cleared in a few seconds, and looked around for some tools in the tiny house. In the corner behind the furnace she found a screwdriver, some oil and another hammer. Gaige took the screwdriver and oil and started disassembling the weapon. The fact that she had to use a screwdriver to do it showed how cobbled together bandit weapons were. She even had to take the wrench off her leg and unbolt the stock. After the weapon was in parts, she cleaned it with a nearby rag, and started oiling the parts. This was going to be her only weapon until she got her SDU fixed, and she didn't want it jamming on her again. With that task finished, the weapon was reassembled.

She then turned her attention to her Storage Deck Unit. Now that she had time to inspect it, it was obvious it was in terrible condition. Besides the light not lighting, the screen on it was cracked, and there were scorch marks on the corners. Gaige set it down on the table and unscrewed the cover. As she feared, one of the circuit boards inside had been overloaded.

"Damn. I don't have the parts to fix this. It must over been overloaded by the data stream…"

A person's body and gear were stored separately in the Fast Travel and New-U systems. While their clothing and currently equipped weapon were stored with the body data, everything else was stored separately. In the event of a problem, the person's data took priority, and any spare energy that could not be filtered out was sent to their gear. Witch explained the fried SDU, and why Gaige had no grenade on her person.

Gaige turned her attention to her Echo device. Other than the fried H.U.D., it seemed working. She tried the simplest thing first, and rebooted the device. She needed something to test it on though. She grabbed her gun and her SDU and headed out the back door. Outside was a small pen with a cow, a pig, and a few chickens. The cow registered as combat level three, the pig two, and the chickens' one. Good, so that was her H.U.D. working. According to the H.U.D. she still had access to her ammo stores in the S.D.U. Gaige fired one round from her weapon at a nearby tree, spooking the animals. She reloaded the weapon, and the H.U.D. reported her ammo stores had gone down by one. Good, so she had ammo, and the sorting function still worked. Gaige tried to reach in the SDU for a grenade, but it was still unresponsive. Damn. Even with her H.U.D reporting 9/9 grenades, she still couldn't access them. She holstered her weapon across her back.

There was still one problem, however. According to the Rapist Assholes, as she had named them, her clothes stuck out badly. And she was unsure if this government had a problem with openly armed civilians walking its streets. She saw the solution to both problems on a nearby clothesline. While there was no women's clothing; (This place felt totally bachelor pad) there was a large white sheet hanging up. The Mechromancer took it off the line and quickly fashioned herself a simple white cloak. Hmm, it took care of the clothes problem, but the gun still was quite obvious the way it stuck horizontally across her back. She rotated it vertically on the electromagnet that held her guns there. It was a neat trick she had learned from Axton when she arrived on Pandora. There, now it wasn't quite so obvious. It wouldn't bear close scrutiny, and it still looked rather lumpy, but at least she wouldn't have terrified citizens running from her open armament.

The sun at this point had shifted to about 12 degrees, so about an hour had passed. (There had been no clock in the shack.) It was still a bit of a ways to the city, so she decided to head out. She didn't want to be on an empty road after dark.

When Gaige strolled into town, she could see a large clock tower in the distance. It reported it was three o'clock, and Gaige set her echo accordingly. She saw what looked like a homeless man across the street.

"Excuse me mister, could you guide me to 46 Iron Street? I'm new in town and I would be ever so grateful." A note materialized from the wallets she had "acquired" along with her best Cute Little Girl smile.

An outstretched hand took the offered currency."Why, I would be delighted to be a guide to such a delightful young woman! Come, Come!"

As they walked, the hobo blabbed bout the sights along the way. She appreciated the info, but didn't understand what most of the man was talking about. He was obviously delighted to have the company of a beautiful girl.

"By the way, lassie, what might your name be?"

"I'm Gaige. It's an honor to meet such a polite individual such as yourself, Mr..?"

"Ronald. I'm Ronald Douglas. Likewise, I don't often have the pleasure of accompanying such a fine lady such as you."

"Oh Mr. Douglas, you flatter me!"

Gaige was completely putting on an act, of course. But politeness could get you far sometimes, and despite her rude welcoming, this seemed like a civilized planet. After fifteen more minutes of overly polite conversation, tourist information, and inane weather observations, they arrived at their destination.

"Well, here we are, Ms. Gaige. I'm not sure why you wanted to come to come to the warehouse district, though."

"I was told by a relative to meet him here. No idea why he picked this spot, though."

"Yes, yes, quite odd…" The hobo seemed to be contemplating doing something.

"I must thank you for your escort. Your conversational abilities kept me company quite well, and I appreciate it. Here, a tip for services rendered." Another note appeared from the (mostly) dead men's wallets.

Ronald took the bill, and stopped thinking about what he was planning.

"The pleasure was all mine, lass. Farewell!"

"Goodbye, Mr. Douglas!"

As soon as he was out of sight, Gaige relaxed the tension in her shoulders. She didn't know how much longer she could keep up the high society act. Who knew the charm school lessons her mother had forced on her for not being girly enough would ever come in handy?

It was finally time to get some revenge on these assholes. However, Gaige's tactical mind wasn't gone, and bursting though the front door seemed like a bad idea. All attacks are expected to be frontal, and this being a military outpost, she was sure they had some nasty defenses there. Instead she headed around the back, where a soldier was smoking by the back door. He dropped his cig and drew his rifle when he saw her.

"Hey! Who are you? No visitors allowed!"

"It's ok, I'm with you guys! Is it ok if I take out my ID?"

"Go ahead. No funny business though!"

Gaige took out one of the wallets, and took a military ID out. It had the name Thomas Bangalter on it. She presented it to the guard.

"Hey, this isn't your picture!"

Gaige digistructed the claws on her arm, and stabbed him though the throat. A sad, whispering gurgle escaped his voice box where a scream should have been.

"Good thing too. I would hate to be that guy after what I did to him."

The time on the clock tower now read 3:50.

* * *

Two blocks away, Ed and company had arrived at rendezvous point Echo-Charlie. Most of the trucks had arrived, and the rest were straggling in. Dismounted soldiers milled about, smoking, shooting the breeze, and checking their weapons. The disorganized group wandered about for three more minutes, when the last truck arrived. Colonel Mustang stepped out of the cab and into the center of the mob.

"ATT-ENT-ION!"

"FORM UP, ON THE DOUBLE!"

The soldiers quickly went into two neat rectangle formations, save for Edward.

"That means you too, Fullmetal."

"Fine, fine, I'm coming."

"Alright, listen up. Don't think you can relax because we outnumber them two to one. The situation can change at any time! Stay close and stay in contact! I will stay outside to direct operations, but if you need me, just call! There is no shame in receiving aid from your comrades."

"Any questions?"

A massed cry of "Sir, No Sir!" rang out.

"Good! Now follow your strike team leaders and move out!"

They were at the warehouse in another five minutes. The front entrance was divided into two sets of rolling doors.

"A team, left door! B team, right door!" Ordered Mustang.

A sharp CRACK pierced the air.

"Shots fired! Shots fired!"

"Anyone hit?"

"No sir! No casualties! It sounded like it came from inside!"

"Damn. Someone must have tipped them off! Strike teams, Attack!"

The grunts rolled up the doors of the warehouse. Everyone froze. As Gaige had predicted, they had defenses set up at the entrance. A pair of machine gun nests stared the attackers in the face.

"GET DOWN!"

Before they could react, two soldiers from A team were cut down, as well as one from B team. The remaining soldiers scrambled out of the line of fire.

Mustang raised his right arm; a white glove with a red transmutation circle on it covered his hand. The fingers snapped.

An enormous ball of flame engulfed the left door's MG nest, and it ceased fire.

To his right, Ed reflexively clapped, pressed his palms to the floor, and used alchemy to put a stone wall between the MG nest and his allies. He then put a ramp in front of the wall, ran up it, and gave a flying right cross with his automail arm to the machine gunner, knocking him out cold. The other man in the nest started to raise his rifle, but Ed pushed it away with his left hand, and gave another hard right to the man's face.

"All clear guys!"

Now that they were no longer under immediate attack, they could see the warehouse was divided by a wall between the two doors.

"Looks like we have no choice but to split up. Be on alert! We have no idea what other nasty surprises they have in store for us." Mustang looked furious at the cheap trick that had cost him the lives of three men under his command.

* * *

_Eight minutes earlier, at the back of the warehouse…_

Gaige entered the back door of the warehouse. It seemed no one heard her take out the guard, so she decided to try to remain undetected. She hid behind a stack of crates and surveyed the location.

On the wall to her left, was a door. In front of her, more soldiers milled about, one driving a forklift moving pallets. To her right, she didn't see anything of interest.  
Wait, scratch that, did the FLOOR just open? A young soldier came out of the hole in the floor, and she saw the hatch close behind him as he walked off.

This was worth checking out. She moved as stealthily as she could, thinking she could have used lessons in stealth from Zer0 right about now. Sadly, he wasn't the teaching type. She hid behind another crate nearby, and double checked to see that none was around. Gaige walked over to where the floor had opened, and had to look hard to see anything at all.

There. A tiny, almost imperceptible seam in the floor's concrete. A very well disguised trap door, as the concrete floor was lined with cracks and seams, and the trapdoor had the matching cracks running through it. Looking for a trigger mechanism, she saw a small tile of concrete that looked out of place. She depressed it with her foot. The door opened.

"Not clever enough by half, boys. Not clever enough by half."

Gaige climbed down the ladder in the trapdoor, and turned around to see a large underground barracks. She also saw several wide eyed soldiers staring at her in disbelief.

"How-What-…Who are you! How did you get in here?!"

"Gentlemen, I believe you know some acquaintances of mine." Gaige took out the four wallets, removed their ID's, and threw them on the floor.

"Since they were ever so kind to introduce me to your world, I thought I simply MUST drop by and return the favor." Gaige was using the charm school act again, this time more for effect.

"You… how did you get those..?"

Gaige drew her Bandit Gatling gun, standing with legs braced apart, white bed sheet cloak still pinned around her neck and splayed open.

"Now, if you would all be so kind as to…"

"EAT ELECTRIC LEAD, DICKWADS!"

The barrels started spinning up, and did exactly as Gaige commanded them to.

Seven minutes later, she had cleared the barracks and was headed back up.

"Man, I don't know why I was ever scared of you guys! Such pushovers! Not so tough when you're not raping little girls huh?"

As she was heading back up the ladder, Gaige was shot in the head.

"ARRRRGH! YOU SHOT ME! YOU REALLY SHOT ME! OH MY GOD THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOONNNNEEEE!"

The soldier that fired the shot came over to investigate.

"Psyche! Totally kidding. My shield took all the damage. But you guys…"

Gaige bashed the man's skull in with her hammer.

"Don't have shields! Isn't that great! I mean it's a little disappointing to not get bonus damage against you, but it makes you easy enough to kill!"

More soldiers rushed over to engage her.

"Come on boys! Get some! **I AM THE STRONGEST ENGINEER ALLLIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE!"**

Yeah, Gaige was totally getting her Anarchy high on.

* * *

The shot that hit Gaige in the head was the shot the Strike Team heard.

After clearing the MG nests, both teams advanced into the warehouse. Both sides were covered in randomly assorted crates and pallets. These provided excellent concealment; if not necessarily cover, for both sides. A team was slowly gaining ground on the forces, with Colonel Mustang staying in reserve.

B team's advance was covered by Ed making stone walls for cover, going from one crate to the next. Meanwhile, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye provided sniper fire. This method of cover, advance, and sniping went on until they were about halfway through the warehouse. They had killed at least 10 men; half the number they were supposed to have on their side if they were evenly distributed.

Suddenly, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes ordered a Cease Fire.

"Cease Fire! Cease Fire! God damn it man, knock it off! Can't you see that man has a hostage!?"

In front of them, the last soldier they could see had a little kid in front of him, pistol pointed at his head.

"Back Off! Or I pop the kid, and his blood is on your hands!"

The boy, who looked no older than nine, was completely mortified and crying.

"Do IT! Guns down, and me and the kid walk out of here!"

The men looked to their commanding officer.

"It's alright. We'll figure something out." He lowered his right hand to order the men to lower their weapons.

Hawkeye stared down the scope of her sniper rifle. "Sir, I have the solution."

"No. Let him go. We can't risk a death grip on the pistol."

"…Understood, Sir."

The rebel soldier and his hostage walked slowly backwards, into a darkened archway in the back wall.

"That's it? You're going to let him get away?" Cried Ed.

Hughes said: "We'll get him out, don't worry. We just have to sit back and be pati-"

"Be patient? BE PATIENT!? WHAT IF THEY SHOOT HIM!? If you guys won't help, I'm going in!"

"Edward, no! You can't…" But Riza's words were too late; Ed was already rushing into the dark doorway. It was totally pitch black, there were no windows. Ed stumbled forward until he ran into another wall. He felt around for a door, and found one. He entered, and ran in.

That's when he knew this was a mistake. The lights were on in here, and they blinded his vision momentarily. The door slammed behind him, and he saw a crate pushed in front of it. He turned to the man with the hostage.

But there was no hostage.

"What did you do with the kid?"

"What, me? MUAH? I didn't do anything to him! I let him go!"

"Wait… why? Why give up your escape route?"

"Because he wasn't my escape route, Fullmetal. He was my lure."

"How do you know my title?"

"Oh come on, the Fullmetal Alchemist is famous! Blonde hair, blue eyes, automail arm and leg, and most of all… That flashy red coat. Oh, and he's also famous for being a pipsqueak."

"WHO YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK YOU MOLECULE SIZED MITE OF MATTER!?"

"In any case, we have you surrounded. Give up, be our prisoner, and we won't hurt you."

"So that was your plan, huh? Use a fake hostage to capture a VIP, is that it?"

"Indeed. But I could have never dreamed it would have worked so well, I mean, the Famous Fullmetal Alchemist? You'll be worth a king's ransom!"

"I'm going to have to pass. I don't plan on being a hostage for you guys."

Ed clapped his hands to transmute his automail arm with a blade.

But he never got the chance. One of the marksmen shot him in his left arm. It fell to his side before he could finish the clap.

"Tut Tut Tut, Fullmetal. You didn't really think we'd let you transmute, now did you?"

Ed fell to his knees from the pain. He willed his left arm to move, but it would not follow his commands.

"Now, be a good boy and cooperate. We won't have to hurt you more if you just-"

A strange, whirring noise came though the wall. It sounded like "RRRRUUUR- RRRRUUUR- RRRRUUUR", repeated over and over.

"What in the world is THAT?"

* * *

In the mean time, Gaige had fought off the remaining bandits… Err, soldiers, she was so used to thinking bandits, especially since Hyperion had fallen. She ran over to the door she saw earlier. She wanted to check it out. But before she could do so, more soldiers took shots at her.

"Ugh, don't you guys know when to quit? I'm trying to do stuff over here!" Gaige raised her left arm in her summoning pose.

"Go boy! Play Fetch!"

Deathtrap quickly flew over to the first hostile, and sliced him clean in half. His other targets took shots at him that just bounced off.

"Good Doggy! Now go play with your new friends while mommy goes over here! I'll be back soon!"

Gaige had the opening she needed now. She slowly cracked the door open to check for threats.

There were. 10 hostiles and one… kid? A boy with blonde hair and a red coat, and judging by his height, not older than 13. She listened in on their conversation.

"Oh come on, the Fullmetal Alchemist is famous! Blonde hair, blue eyes, automail arm and leg, and most of all… That flashy red coat. Oh, and he's also famous for being a pipsqueak."

"WHO YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK YOU MOLECULE SIZED MITE OF MATTER!?"

Apparently, his height was a sore point for him…

"In any case, we have you surrounded. Give up, be our prisoner, and we won't hurt you."

Gaige heard a man apparently named Wilhelm screaming from Deathtrap's assault.

"So that was your plan, huh? Use a fake hostage to capture a VIP, is that it?"

"Indeed. But I could have never dreamed it would of worked so well, I mean, the Famous Fullmetal Alchemist? You'll be worth a king's ransom!"

This kid, some sort of celebrity? She found that hard to believe. She spied on them a bit more…

"I'm going to have to pass. I don't plan on being a hostage for you guys."

The kid tried to clap, but the soldier just shot him! Was there no end to these guys's depravity?

"Tut Tut Tut, Fullmetal. You didn't really think we'd let you transmute, now did you?"

Trans…mute? What did that mean?

To her right, DT looked like he was having fun "playing" with his new toys. He found a new toy and used his Robot Rampage attack to obliterate his target. The effect was not unlike an episode of "Will it Blend?" (Rebel soldier? I think I'll hit the Rapist Asshole button. Yes, It Blends!) After DT stopped attacking, his voice modulator kept going, producing the "RRRRUUUR- RRRRUUUR- RRRRUUUR" sound.

"Ugh, again babe? I thought I fixed that the last twenty times I tried!

It looked like the sound had distracted the soldiers. She wasn't about to let this kid get killed by the assholes who tried to rape her. She quickly registered the boy as a friendly on her H.U.D.'s Friend or Foe system.

Gaige blindly opened fire into the small room though the crack in the door.

The small room filled with electrified lead. Bullets started ricocheting off the walls, the ceiling, and the floor. Ed, thinking quickly, clapped his automail arm against his limp flesh one, and transmuted a stone shell for himself out of the floor.

The stream of automatic fire continued to pour into the room, ricochets taking out one man, then two, then three and four.

The stream of blue tracers would have been beautiful, had it not been so deadly and causing so much red.

More bouncing bullets took out rebels five, six, seven and eight. (Who do we obliterate? Rapist Assholes! To Gaige, they were all now Rapist Assholes.)

The light show of doom ceased as the final rounds in the belt took out rebel soldier nine, and finally Mr. Kidnapper.

"To quote Ellie, Heh, that was awesome!"

Gaige opened the door, and walked down the three steps into the room. She walked over to the ball of stone that wasn't there before.

"Hey, kid, you alright in there? I'm assuming that's you, anyway."

Ed deconstructed his stone cover. Despite his injury, he found plenty of vitriol left in him.

**"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!? YOU NEARLY SHOT ME!"**

"Relax dude, I know what I'm doing. My bullets wouldn't hit you unless I told them to. Besides, I was trying to save you from those asshats." As she said this, she reloaded her weapon.

"Anarchy Up!"

Ed just stared at her, one eye twitching, mouth struggling to find words. He didn't even know where to begin with this weird girl who dropped out of nowhere.

"…save me? Unless you told them to..? _**WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE!?"**_ Ed waived his one working arm over his head franticly, raving at the clearly psychotic girl who had just walked in.

Banging on the door interrupted his rant.

"Ed? Is that you? We heard gunfire and shouting! We're breaking down the door!" Hawkeye's muffled voice came though the wall.

"Who are they?"

"It's ok, they're-"

A battering ram broke the top of the door open. A woman in the same uniform as the Rapist Assholes™ pointed a rifle though the door. While it was odd to Gaige that a woman would join their misogynistic ranks, she had a rifle pointed at her and was clearly hostile.

Ed saw the girl's finger go for the trigger.

"No! Don't do it!"

Gaige saw movement in her left eye and turned her head to see what it was. Ed's metal fist was rapidly approaching her face.

The fist stopped an inch from her chin. Her shield had stopped the attack cold in its tracks. Gaige whispered a quiet "Oh no." A millisecond later, electricity pumped into the bare metal arm, electrocuting Ed.

The shock spike shield did its job, and poured thousands of volts up the metal conductor, surging though poor Edward's body. The Fullmetal Alchemist dropped like a sack of potatoes to the ground. Gaige saw the shied shatter on her H.U.D.

Witnessing this spectacle, Riza leaped into the broken door, over the blocking crate, and rushed the Mechromancer. She wanted this bitch_ alive. _Before Gaige could turn her head back to face Riza, she was already in front of her, rifle in hand upside down.

Riza delivered a powerful rifle butt to Gaige's chin, and she went down with the same ease the Alchemist had. As she was losing consciousness on the floor, she noticed the woman who hit her didn't have an armband on her arm when she struck her. What an odd thing to notice before blacking ou…

Colonel Mustang's A team had met little resistance after the MG nest. There were a few scattered pockets of resistance, but all were quickly crushed. Odd, were the enemy's forces even less than intel reported?

They were finishing their security sweep when one of the sentries took a shot. More followed his lead, and fired at his target. Mustang quickly saw what they were targeting. A suit of armor was coming right for him, claws extended. And it was… floating? And had no legs, with a dangling spine. Mustang raised his right arm and prepared to snap his fingers. The suit raced for him full speed, closing rapidly. As he was ready to snap, its claw was inches from penetrating his skull. Before he could dodge, however, the Suit crossed its arms over its chest, floated downward, and disappeared into blocks of blue and white light.

"Just what in the world… was that?"

A team continued their sweep. Riza and Hughes came over a few minutes later to make their report.

Hughes made his report. "All hostiles eliminated. One hostage recovered safely. Two additional casualties besides the man we lost in the MG attack. One was grazed in the arm, and will be fine. The other was shot in the head and died instantly."

"Understood. Wait, a hostage? Intel said nothing about that."

"Yes, Sir. A 9 year old boy, name of John Locke, wondered in the warehouse looking for his dog. The soldiers grabbed him when they heard us coming and came up with a quick plan to use him as bait to capture one of us."

"Damn, wrong place wrong time, huh? Well, did the plan succeed?"

"Yes and no Sir. They briefly captured Edward, but…"

"What?!"

"He was rescued shortly after by an unknown female subject."

"Oh."

Riza spoke up now. "However, the girl tried to take a shot at me. I'm not sure why, but when she did, Ed tired to punch her with his automail arm."

"Tried?"

"I'm… not sure how sir, but his fist stopped an inch from her face and she electrocuted him for it."

"How so? Alchemy?"

"I don't think so, Sir. The only movement she made was to turn her head to look at him."

"Anyway, continue your report."

"That's when I determined we needed to take the subject alive. I took a gamble that she couldn't electrocute me if I used the wooden stock of my rifle, and butted her in the chin. She fell unconscious, and we captured her. She and Fullmetal are being taken to the hospital. Besides the electrocution, Ed has a GSW in his left arm."

"That was risky, Lieutenant. What am I supposed to do if I lose you?"

"Yes sir. But I thought the risk was worth it in this case. We needed to question that girl. You may punish me as you see fit."

"No, that won't be necessary. You made the right call. What about Edward, what's his prognosis?"

"The medics say the gunshot wound was a through and through, non life threatening. They should be able to restore his arm function in surgery. They won't know about the electrocution until they get to the hospital, though."

"Oh, and one more thing. We took this before the girl was carted off, and had it rush developed."

Riza handed Mustang a still wet photo of the girl in question. He stuffed it in his breast pocket.

"Understood. Dismissed."

Riza and Hughes Saluted. "Yes, Sir."

"Colonel Mustang! Colonel Mustang!" Havoc ran over, struggling to catch his breath.

"Calm down Havoc. What is it?"

"Sir, you need to see this. Come with me!"

"Ok. But we're not running."

Mustang and Havoc walked to the back of the warehouse.

"So, what's so important to come running to get me?"

"As you can see, there's a trapdoor over there. We only saw it because it was open. Judging by the camouflage on the top of it, we could have stepped on it and not seen it."

"So? What's down there?"

"It's just easier to show you, Sir."

Mustang followed Havoc down the ladder. When he stood at the bottom, his face contorted at the smell. He covered his nose with his jacket. It had only been a few minutes, but it already reeked badly down here.

"What is this place?"

"It looks to be a hidden barracks, sir. We haven't done a full body count yet Colonel, but by the cots they had space for 125 guys down here."

Mustang's eyes went wide. "That many? If they had ambushed us… How many did we lose securing this?"

"That's the amazing thing. Not a single damn one. Because we didn't clear it."

"What?"

"We have a witness in custody. I'll take you to see him.

As mustang walked, the remains of the barracks were a horror show. Most of the corpses had been shot. Nothing unusual there. But of the ones that were shot, some of them looked like they had been electrocuted as well. That was strange. Others had…Claw marks? Was that floating suit of armor responsible for this? Some of the others looked like they had gone though a food processor. Those bodies were particularly nasty. A few selected bodies had been completely incinerated, leaving only black, charred skin with melted in fabric. That was a sight Mustang was all too familiar with.

There was one last oddity. A few of the un-burnt corpses had an "A" roughly carved into their foreheads.

"Just what the hell happened down here?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out, sir."

They arrived at the handcuffed rebel man.

"We found him hiding in one of the closets, sir. By the looks of this place, that's the only reason he survived."

"Prisoner, tell me what happened here."

The man's eyes darted left and right, right and left, back and forth at a blinding pace. He fidgeted with his cuffs, kept tapping his right boot. He had clearly suffered a mental blow.

"I…I can't! The Eel will get me!"

"Who's The Eel? Did they do this?"

"Yes. YES! It was The Eel! She attacked this place, She was the one that killed my friends, and my brother, and oh god the screaming, the screaming! She shocked them ALL AND NOW THERE DEAD OH GOD WHY?!"

"Whoa! Take it easy there. What did this Eel girl look like?"

"Hair, Crimson as the blood she spilled. Eyes, green with envy for the lives she took! White was the color of her cloak, the opposite of the color of her SOUL! Her blouse, blue like the people she shocked! Her skirt is like the blood that is drying as we speak! Her legs had Zebras on them. Why did they have zebras on them? I don't know! She should have Eels on her legs, that's her name! Her gun was also crimson, but it shot out blue bolts! The bolts shot up everyone and shocked them and the screaming and the mud and the blood and the beerandthepainandthefearand the- NO! NO! MOMMY! MOMMY! I'M SORRY EEL! I'M SORRRHHHYYY!"

Make that several mental blows.

"Colonel maybe this should wait. It might be too much for him, it just happened after all."

"No, This can't wait. If I'm right, this "Eel" girl also tried to kill Lieutenant Hawkeye and Fullmetal. We need to know why."

Mustang pulled out the picture Riza had given him, and showed it to the Prisoner.

"Is this her? Is this The Eel?"

He glared at it for a second. The picture was in black and white, and the girl had her eyes closed, so it took him a moment.

"Yes. YES! THAT'S HER! TAKE HER AWAY! TAKE HER AWAY! NO EEL, DON'T SHOCK ME, NOOOOOO!"

Mustang quickly took the picture away.

"Did she say anything? Do you know why she did this?"

"She spoke. She spoke of us being holes for asses. She spoke that we were all going to perish by her hand. She said something like "All your base are belong to us."She spoke that she would shock us like an Electric Eel, and that is where I learned her name. She spoke that all would feel her electric embrace!"

"As to why? She said we were all rapists. We are not rapists! We do not… I mean, did not rape things! Especially little girls! But, she had the images of four of our kind. A winning hand, if you will. Claimed that they had tried to rape her, and as far as the Eel was concerned, that made us all rapists! Some tried to explain to her that we were not what she claimed! She seemed to listen and did not kill them."

"Really? Then where are they? If they're alive we need to speak to them."

"Oh, they're not alive."

"But you said she didn't kill them?"

"She didn't. The Metal Man did! Try to remember his name, must remember it. Dustbin? No, Dirty Hamper? No, that's not it either. Mouse Trap? Close, but not quite… Death Torture? Still close, but doesn't feel right Oh! I remember now. Derptrap! No, that's not it either. Deathtrap! THAT's the one! She said his name was Deathtrap! "

"Where did this… "Deathtrap" come from? Did he enter with the Eel?"

"No, she summoned him forth with her left arm!"

"Alchemy?"

"If it was, it was no alchemy I've ever seen! She had no circles I could see on her arm or clothes or had no chalk. She did not clap like some masters can do! But Deathtrap did! When he clapped, people exploded! And then Deathtrap sliced and he diced, diced and sliced, and cut them all up into itty bitty pieces! He slapped and he chopped, chopped and slapped, and showed them how much he liked dicing up their nuts! When he was done dicing and slicing and slicing and dicing, their bodies exploded with electricity! But that was not enough for the Metal Man! His gaze could not decide how to steal life! At first it shot lightning, but then he tired of this, and then he shot fire! Those that were lucky enough to be immolated were sent to the Firehawk's toasty bosom!"

"What about when she left? Did she say she was planning on doing anything else?"

"She expressed that her fear was misplaced. Then, I thought I heard her die. For a moment I thought our nightmare might be over. But The Eel was crafty! Her trap inescapable! She played dead and tried to help the man get shorter! More of our comrades rushed to their deaths, unaware of The Eel's electrical apocalypse! But I strayed no further. As fascinated as I was by The Eel's beautiful destruction, I dared not follow in her trail of devastation!"

"Thank you. You've been a great help."

"Promise me. PROMISE ME YOU'LL FIND THE EEL!"

"We already have her."

For the first time since he'd seen the man, the Prisoner visibly calmed down.

"...Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Havoc, have the prisoner taken to the mental hospital right away. This poor soul has been though enough."

"Yes Sir. Before I do though, there's one more thing you need to see."

Havoc walked him over to a wall a few steps away, where some Crime Scene Investigators were taking pictures.

"We found this carved into the wall. Most likely that's our suspect's name and handiwork."

A message had been carved into the concrete wall. Traces of blood stuck in some of the letters, and all the "a's" had been replaced with anarchy symbols.

"**GAIGE THE MECROMANCER WAS HERE BITCHES!"**

(p.s. With Love, Deathtrap.)

Mustang felt a headache coming on rapidly.

"How the hell can one girl that's not an alchemist be responsible for _all this?_"

* * *

Several hours later, Private First Class, Amestris Military (Rebelling) Thomas Bangalter walked to the warehouse, and saw it covered with Military Police. He overheard the guards talking about the horror show in the basement, the A symbols carved on the foreheads. And he knew the deaths of his unit were entirely his fault. He knew what that girl could do with her… "Deathtrap" first hand. It didn't take a giant leap to figure out that they were all dead. The Guards confirmed as much. If only his surveillance team had left her alone! He knew what he had to do.

Thomas walked right up to the MP's, armband in clear view, and drew a pistol.

The MP's responded in kind, and shot him with their rifles on the spot.

Only when the MP's checked Thomas's bloodied, cut up corpse, they found no pistol.

* * *

**Authors Notes: 17 pages, 6000+ word count?! Whaaaaat. These chapters seem so much shorter in my head! Arghmshfgl. At least writing these is fun, even if it takes HOURS. Well, as promised, the two universes finally collide, and do so HARD. I think I left an appropriate for both FMA and Borderlands mess in the basement! The poor, poor rebel soldier who I left alive. Mind's in tatters now. It was fun making an FMA character talk like a BL psycho, lol.**

**If you missed the references in this chapter, here's a cheat sheet:**

**The "A"'s Gaige cared on her victim's foreheads is a refence to Inglorious Basterds. The Basterds to the same to their German prisoners with a swastika. At least Gaige didn't scalp anybody!... Yet.**

**www dot tvtropes dot org** /Film/InglouriousBasterds?from= 

**If the Combat Levels of the animals feel oddly familiar, you've probably played a lot of Rune Scape, as that's their combat levels in that game.**

**Wilhelm screaming: www dot tvtropes dot org /Main/StockScream  
**

**Will it Blend?:(copy onto youtube's URL) user/Blendtec?feature=**

**Watch this parody for the visual effect. (newgrounds) portal/view/548849  
**

**Satisfactory, indeed.**

**As to why I called Gaige The Eel, watch this. ********(copy onto youtube's URL) ** watch?v=fbkv5xOLvnA

**The mud the blood and the beer: ********(copy onto youtube's URL) **watch?v=_Gbtm-93oqE  


**Slap chop: ********(copy onto youtube's URL) ** watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs

**All your Base:********(copy onto youtube's URL) ** watch?v=8fvTxv46ano  


**Character names: John Locke And Thomas Bangalter: ********www dot tvtropes dot org** /Series/Lost?from= and Wikipedia Thomas. (don't misunderstand, I LOVE Daft Punk, its just a shoutout.)

**Also, what do you think of the Suicide By Cop /Main/SuicideByCop end for Rapist Asshole #4? Good, or did he deserve better? Worse?**


	4. Chapter 4: Heartfelt Hospital Hostility

**AN: This is it, crossover fans! IMO, this is where the story either works or it doesn't. Three chapters of build up. If i botch this, the entire series wont work. If it does, hopefully you can see why I was inspired to write this. Its where rubber meets the road, where 2+2=4, where peanut butter and chocolate realize they're perfect for each other, where electrons flow down a conductive wire, cause a bunch of gasses to illuminate, and travel back to their source to form a circuit!**

* * *

Colonel Mustang exited the basement turned barracks turned mass murder crime scene. It was good to be out of there, there was no air flow and the stench had only gotten worse with time. He didn't envy the East City's coroner's office that was for sure. They had an awful mess on their hands, way more than the 40-50 bodies they were told to expect. He was about to head out the back door to get some fresh air when Lieutenant Hawkeye cut him off. "Hughes briefed me on the situation down there. Is it really as bad as he said it was?"

"Worse, probably. I had some rather nasty flashbacks to Ishval."

Riza knew that was a topic he did not bring up unless the situation warranted it.

"I'm sorry to worsen your headache, but there is one last thing you should see before we depart."

"Lieutenant, I've had my fill of dead bodies for today."

"We cleaned up the ones in question. Upstairs, anyway. I don't want to think about the downstairs crew's jobs. In any event, we recovered the weapon the Female Subject was using when I knocked her out."

Riza had put on gloves similar to mustangs, and was holding the Bandit Gatling gun responsible for much of the mess in the back half of the warehouse. Attached to its trigger guard by a string was a tag that said EVIDENCE with fields for other information.

"Whoa. Never seen a gun like that before. Any details on its manufacturer?"

"None whatsoever, sir. In fact, if I had to guess, it looks handmade, rather poorly in fact."

"You're telling me an amateur made something like this? I've never seen a machine gun light enough to be hand carried without extensive automail modifications by the wielder. But it's light enough that even I could use it." Mustang hoisted the weapon as he said this, feeling its weight.

"And there's electricity arcing from these ports. What kind of monstrosity did that girl get her hands on?"

"That's not even the weird part, Sir."

Riza escorted him to the side doorway that leads to the kidnapper's room.

"Judging by the copious shell casings here, this is where our Female Subject fired from."

"Gaige. Her name is Gaige."

"What makes you so sure of that, sir?"

"She was kind enough to sign her work for us."

"In any event, it looks like she wasn't aiming for anything. She just shot up the far wall."

The wall showed the abuse Gaige had heaped on it. Holes riddled the concrete, bits of it starting to flake off from the damage.

"If that's all she did, then how come we had a room full of dead bodies?"

Mustang said "had" as all the corpses had been carted off, and tape outlines showed where they had fallen.

"There are multiple ricochet marks all over the room. So far, half the marks have lined up exactly to where there was a hostile standing. We found some of the slugs in the floor or walls behind the ricochet points."

"It's incredible Fullmetal wasn't killed in the crossfire."  
"From the looks of the floor, he made himself a shelter. Even so with the amount of fire pouring in here I'm amazed he even had time to do that."

"So, Lieutenant Hawkeye, are you trying to tell me that all these men died to bouncing bullets that were aimed for them? With a machine gun?"

"Um… Yes, Sir. That's what our evidence suggests."

"I'm in no mood for jokes, Riza."

"Our ballistics guy didn't believe it either. He thought someone was pulling a late April fool's joke on him. He about stormed out."

"Lieutenant?"

"Yes Colonel?"

"I want that weapon under armed guard at all times. There's no telling what would happen if it fell into the wrong hands."

"Yes Sir."

"And one more thing, Lieutenant."

"Yes?"

"I need a freaking drink."

* * *

"..when you're blacking out. You would think you had more important things to worry about, like hitting the floor like you'd been punched by Brick."

"Huh? What?"

Gaige's mind restarted itself exactly where it had left off. She found herself staring at a white ceiling, a single lamp shining nearby. She immediately found herself with a splitting headache. She raised her right arm to rub her forehead with, only to hear it stop with a clank. Clank? Her right arm should not clank. Her left arm yes, right arm, no. Gaige looked down at her arm and saw it was handcuffed to the bed.

Bed? Where was she? Gaige looked down at her torso and saw her normal clothes were gone, replaced by a blue gown. Around the room was an EKG machine, some chairs and a small table.

"Hos..pital?" It slowly started to come back to her. The woman with the rifle. She had hit her pretty hard.

"Concussion? That seems likely."

She tried to roll to her right to get more comfortable, but found that she could only rotate slightly. She looked at her left arm, to see that it had been completely bolted down.

"Damn. These guys don't mess around…"

She closed her eyes and reached out to Deathtrap with her mind.

"STATUS: ALL SYSTEMS NORMAL. READY FOR ORDERS ."

Good, so they hadn't disconnected her arm. She tried to wiggle the fingers of her left hand and saw that she could.

Now, if she could just raise her left hand just enough…

The fingertips on her left hand pointed straight up, and strained to get higher.

"Come on, almost…there…"

Gaige fought against her restraints to move her arm upward.

"Rrraaaagh! Got it!"

A familiar blue light appeared by her bedside. Deathtrap constructed himself and stood by.

"Nice to see you in the flesh again babe! Err, metal. Whatever."

"Deathtrap, audio command mode. Authorization code: Foxtrot Sierra Tango Whiskey Charlie Niner."

"UNDERSTOOD. AUDIO COMMANDS INITIALIZED."

"Activate your cutting laser to break these bindings on my left arm. Minimize damage to surrounding areas."

"UNDERSTOOD. BEGINNING CUTTING SEQUENCE. OPERATION 0% COMPLETE."

Instead of using the laser he used to kill people, a small laser came out of his palm and started cutting the plates that bound Gaige's arm in place.

"OPERATION 25% COMPLETE."

She had installed that feature so Deathtrap could also help her build larger projects. He may have been an anti-bullying robot, but that didn't mean he couldn't be multifunctional.

"OPERATION 75% COMPLETE."

She could have had him try to slice the restraints open with his claws, but voice control only had so much precision. There was a good chance he could damage her arm, and possibly even accidentally kill himself by hitting his SDU.

"OPERATION 100% COMPLETE. CUTTING FINISHED. RETURNING TO STAND BY MODE."

With one hard jerk, her left arm was free. She digistructed one of her claws and cut the handcuff off her wrist. She sprung up, hopped off the bed, and immediately regretted that decision. Her head spun, and she collapsed on the floor.

"I guess I should take it easy huh? You DID just have a concussion there, oh mighty Mechromancer." She chided herself for her stupidity. She slowly climbed back up and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Deathtrap, manual control mode beta."

"UNDERSTOOD."

Gaige closed her eyes, and opened them again to see the back of her own head. There was one detail about manual control mode that she had left out of her explanation to Rapist Asshole #4. Via a short range radio transmitter, she could send orders to Deathtrap. Nanomachines in her brain captured her electrical signals and instead interpreted them as movements for Deathtrap. The machines were hooked up to a short wave radio she had implanted in her skull. She cut off her own arm and built a new one, what was the harm in a little minor Brain Surgery? Of course if her dad ever found out he'd have a coronary.

While in this second type of manual control, she could not move, as her brain's commands were instead going to deathtrap. She also could not see, because Deathtrap's visual feed was sent to her brain instead. While the first type of manual control was like a puppeteer controlling a puppet, the second type allowed her to literally _become_ Deathtrap. It was risky, as her own body was incapacitated, and if someone found her in that state it would be trouble. But the advantage was that she could scout ahead dangerous areas, or fight much more gracefully than DT could ever manage on his own.

Gaige-as-Deathtrap started to "walk" out of the room. What was a walk command from her was converted into a signal to fly forward. As soon as she did DT's proximity alarms went off. To either side of Gaige-trap was a guard. The guard shouted at the… thing to halt. Gaige lowered the power levels in DT's claws to stun. Something about that last encounter with that woman told her she shouldn't kill these men.

Gaige-trap thrust its arms out to either side, stabbing each man in the brain. However, this time there was no blood, and a small electric shock came from the claws, knocking them out. She scanned the area for more threats, but found none. Her next objective was to find her gear. Gaige-trap floated down the hallway, and saw a nurse's station. No use going that way, DT could hide in the floors but her physical body couldn't. Gaige-trap turned around and went the other way, peeking through the windows in the doors to try to find a storage area. Gaige knew Deathtrap didn't have a soul, but when she was this close to him, she could feel his presence. His AI was her constant companion, not just in this mode but normally as well. It was just when she was "diving" like this, as she had come to call it, she could feel DT not just in his body, or her arm, but her entire physical being. For all intents and purposes, Gaige and her Robot had become one entity. It was a warm, comforting feeling that she sometimes did when she missed her dad.

"Dad… Damn…" She felt the sensation of tears trying to come out, but her muscles were immobilized.

"DAD. DAMN."

Crap! She forgot that her speech center was linked to DT's voice processor right now! DT's sensors warned her that two human sized heat signatures were approaching. Gaige-trap quickly dove into the floor to hide. She could overhear the guards who had come over to investigate chatting, trying to figure out the source of the noise. It took them several minutes to give up and leave. Mental note to self. No verbalizations unless you want DT to wake up the entire neighborhood.

Gaige-trap came out of the floor and continued its search. It took a left at the intersection, and flew on for a bit, still searching the windows. She almost missed it when she saw a familiar face. She floated back to the window.

It was that blonde kid from the warehouse! He was here too? And he was sitting up talking, so he looked to be ok. Gaige now had a new mission. She needed to talk to that blonde kid. She had a bundle of questions, and he was the only one she felt she could talk to right now.

Gaige backed away from the door so the deconstruction wouldn't be seen. She exited the dive and sent the order for Deathtrap to return.

When DT was deconstructing, a small oil leak had formed under his eye.

It looked suspiciously like a tear.

Gaige slowly stood up, being much more careful this time. She didn't want to risk collapsing again. She slowly poked her head outside the double doors that lead to her room, checking for more guards. The coast was clear, so she dragged the two men into her room and hid one of them under the covers, and another beneath the bed. She took a pistol from one of the men, and all the spare magazines they had for them. While she would prefer the rifles they carried, there was no way she could hide them. She stuffed the pistol and the extra magazines in the pockets of her gown.

Getting into a fight was not her plan, but a little insurance never hurt. However, if things went bad, she wouldn't last long without her SDU. She only had the rounds she took off the guards, and then she would be completely reliant on Deathtrap. After his power reserves expired, what then? No, she couldn't fight her way out of this, not until she recovered her SDU. However, she needed to talk to that boy first. She believed he was called…. Fullmetal? The name Ed floated around, but that was a little fuzzy.

Gaige walked back out of the room, and took a left. She did another sweep at the intersection, and saw it was all clear. She took another left, trying to remember what door was Fullmetal's, when she bumped into a cart, stubbing her toe. While she cured under her breath at the pain, she hoped none had heard it. It didn't sound that loud to her. On the cart was a pitcher and some glasses of water, and a bottle of pills. Its label read "Aspirin, 100MG". Gaige opened the bottle, popped three in her mouth, and downed a glass of water. Hopefully that would calm her splitting headache a bit.

Gaige arrived at the boy's door and heard him still talking. She creaked open the door to peek inside.

"But brother, are you sure you're ok? You took quite a shock and the hole in your arm..!"

"Stop being such a worrywart Al. I keep telling you, I'm fine! The gunshot was a through and through and they fixed the damage in surgery. It should be good as new in a few days."

Brother? Was he talking to that suit of armor over in the corner? Gaige suddenly felt as she had stepped into the middle ages instead of early Twentieth Century earth. For whatever reason, Earth's history was on the syllabus of every classroom, regardless of how many galaxies removed it was. Something or other about respecting the home planet.

"But if I ever get my hands on that redheaded girl that electrocuted me, I'LL TEAR HER APART! I'LL SHOW HER WHAT A REAL AUTOMAIL ARM IS!"

Erp. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea?

No. She still needed answers, and this was the only way she knew to get them. She waited for him to calm down before making her move.

She pushed open the doors and walked in. Blonde boy and the Suit of armor stared at her.

"Umm. Hi there. I'm Gaige. Nice to meet…you?"

Edward couldn't believe his eyes. That girl should be locked up somewhere!

"..Its…Its _her_!"

"Who, brother?"

"It's that girl that was at the warehouse! The one who electrocuted me!"

"What!?"

Al sprung out of his seat and assumed a fighting pose. Gaige knew this was a _great_ idea, but she had no choice really.

She saw the blonde kid take a deep breath

"GUA-"

Gaige quickly put her right hand over his mouth.

"That was an accident! Please, I only want to talk! Look, I know you have no reason to trust me, but I was trying to help you. When you punched at me my shield did what it was supposed to and electrocuted whoever attacked me. It happened so fast I didn't have chance to turn it off!"

Edward still looked furious but he was calming down somewhat.

"I'm going to move my hand now. Promise me you won't shout?"

Blonde kid stared at her harshly for a few seconds then nodded.

"Ok, so even if that's true- and don't get me wrong, I still don't believe you- why'd you try to take a shot at Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Who?"

"The blonde woman who came through the door."

"Oh. When I saw her, she was wearing the same uniform as the Rapist Assholes were, and she had a rifle pointed at me. I thought she was one of the rebels."

"She's not. Hawkeye is still loyal to the military, and she'd probably never quit. Wait, rapist assholes..?"

"I realized later that when she rushed me, she didn't have an armband on like all the other guys did. And come to think of it, the guards I dragged into my room didn't either…"

Ed and Al stared daggers at her. It took her a second to realize she'd said something monumentally stupid.

"What did you do to the guards?! You didn't kill them, did you?!"

"No no, I swear I didn't! I just knocked them out! They should be fine in a few hours."

Ed didn't look happy at this revelation, but he supposed it was better than the alternative.

"But what was that comment you made about rapist assholes?"

"When I first came to this world, some of those rebels were there. I don't know for how long, but they were watching me. They made advances and wouldn't quit. When I made it clear I had no interest they threatened to shoot me. So I defended myself."

"Ok, but how does that relate to why you were at the warehouse?"

Um, this could become awkward. Judging by his reaction to the guards he didn't seem to be the type that liked killing, so her, ah, "Alternative Interrogation Techniques" probably wouldn't go over well either. So she did what she had to do.

She lied. "After I… took care of them, I found a map in one of their wallets with the location of their base. I decided to pay them a visit for their kindness."

"Wait, you said "After you came to this world." What did you mean by that? Where are you from?"

"Uhh… How do I put this?"

It was obvious by what she had seen of their technology that they hadn't discovered space travel yet. What to do? Try to explain it? Lie? She needed his trust, but would he even believe her if she told the truth?

"I'm from Pandora. Though I used to live on-er, in Eden-5."

Well, it was part of the truth anyway.

"Hey Al, you ever heard of either of those places?"  
"No brother. I think I would have remembered a place with a name like Eden-5."

"Ok, who are you, really, and where do you really come from?"

"I already told you, my name is Gaige. Although I prefer if you included my title, Gaige the Mechromancer."

"There's no way I'm calling you that. That's totally corny."

"And what about you guys? I don't know your names."

"I'm Edward Elrich. My official title is the Fullmetal Alchemist. The big guy over there is my brother, Alphonse."

"Nice to meet you!"

"But enough with the niceties. You still haven't told us where you're really from."

"I wasn't lying. It's just that the places I mentioned aren't countries or towns."

"Yeah, then what are they?"

"Planets."

A still moment entered the room, lasting for three seconds, then five.

"Ed, I think Ms. Hawkeye hit this girl too hard."

"I think you might be right, Al."

"Hey, I may have a concussion but I still know how I am and where I came from!"

"Oh geez. I had to be saved by a total weirdo."

"I AM NOT WEIRD! I AM A WOMAN OF SCIENCE AND BADASSERY!"

"BESIDES, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S SHORT!" Gaige did this intentionally to get back at him for the weirdo comment. She saw how he had reacted to the pipsqueak comment at the warehouse.

"Short? SHORT?! YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO BARGE INTO MY ROOM AND CALL ME SHORT?! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU FLATCHESTED SPACE ALIEN?!"

Flat-chested? Oh, this little runt had gone too far. Gaige _lost_ it.

"F-FLAT? I HAVE MORE BOOBS THAN YOU OR YOUR GIRLFRIENDS WILL EVER HAVE! I MAY NOT BE MAD MOXXI BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF SOME PIPSQUEAK LECTURES ME ON FEMININITY!"

Down the hall, the two guards who had nearly discovered Gaige-trap listened in on the argument.

"Should we go check it out?"

"Nah, just sounds like the Fullmetal boy is having a lover's spat with his girlfriend. Leave 'em be."

"I AM NOT A PIPSQUEAK! FEMININITY? HA! THAT'S REAL RICH COMING FROM A TOMBOY! YOU'RE THE ONE WITH HOSE CLAMPS IN YOUR HAIR!"

This argument was getting them nowhere, Al thought. He stood and walked over to the far side of the bed where Gaige was standing.

"Um, guys?"

Both of them replied at the same time."WHAT IS IT AL?!"

"BOTH OF YOU NEED TO SHUT UP!" Al lifted the pair of them by their heads as he said this.

"This argument is getting us nowhere! We can't find out more information if you're too busy fighting! Now apologize to one another!"

"Don't want to." Again in unison.

"Do it Ed, or I'll make sure the nurses put milk in your next bowl of stew!"

Ed cringed. "I HATE milk. Fine, you win. I'm sorry."

"You don't sound too sorry. I'm still mad at you." Gaige sneered.

Why were all women such a pain?

"I'm sorry I called you flat-chested."

"Apology accepted."

"Don't you think you're forgetting something, Gaige?" said Al.

"I'm sorry I called you a pipsqueak. Can you put me down now Al? I have a splitting headache and this isn't helping."

"Oh. Right. Sorry!"

Al put them both down and brought over a chair for Gaige.

"Now, why don't we all sit back down and listen to what Gaige has to say?"

Gaige took the offered chair.

"So you said you weren't from this planet. How did you get here, you got a UFO?" chided Ed.

"No. We teleported here."

Another blank stare.

"Are you sure we should listen to her? She's clearly brain damaged."

"Quiet Ed! We are going to hear her out and no more interruptions!"

Gaige recounted the events that lead to the botched Fast Travel. She explained how the system worked as best she could, with Ed butting in with occasional questions. She went over the events in the Digistream, leaving out the part with the giant stone doors. That had been the most painful experience of her life and she did not want to relive it.

"So, that's when the rebels attacked you? When you got out of the… "digistream"?"

"Yeah. You can imagine I was pretty pissed."

"Welcome to Amestris, huh?"

"Tell me about it. The worst part is I'm stuck here as it should be impossible to Fast Travel to another planet. _SHOULD_ be."

"Yeah, that does suck." said Ed.

"Even so, going to the warehouse was stupid. Even if those assholes tried to rape you, it's no justification for going and shooting up the warehouse! Just because they were with that group doesn't mean the entire group acts like that! People are individuals, and you can't just make assumptions like that! Human life is precious and can never be repaired!"

"I know. You're right, of course. I was just so angry and afraid. I was all alone and missing my friends and I was upset and I just… I just needed to blow off some steam!" Gaige started crying.

"…blow off some steam? THAT'S HOW YOU BLOW OFF STEAM?! I'm angry, so I'll just go murder some assholes who tried to rape me, IS THAT IT? HUH? IS THAT ALL PEOPLE ARE TO YOU?"

"You don't get it! You have NO idea what Pandora is like! People will kill you just for a dollar they saw you pick up! You'll be shot for looking at the wrong people funny! The guy we ran out called everyone who wasn't with him bandits and tried to have them killed! Wild creatures are everywhere and eat people on a daily basis! Death is everywhere on Pandora, It's as normal as breathing!"

Gaige was openly bawling by this point.

"Brother, stop. It's obvious she feels guilty."

"Guilty doesn't bring back the dead, Al."

"I wasn't always like this! Before a few months ago I had never even held a gun! I used to be a normal teenager… Well, as normal as you can be being an outcast, a tomboy, and a mechanical freak. I got up, hugged my dad, went to school, got bullied, ate dinner, and worked on DT. Same thing every day. But that all changed! When I got to Pandora, I was excited about becoming a Vault Hunter. Thought I was ready to kill people. When I faced my first opponent that wasn't a wild animal I froze up! If it weren't for Axton, he would have shot me! When I was cornered by one of the Fleshrippers, I did what I had to! I shot him with a shotgun, and his head exploded! I don't know how much I vomited that night. The image stayed with me in my dreams!"

"But you want to know the sickest part? I learned to_ like_ killing. I had to. If you didn't want to go as crazy as everyone else on Pandora you had to! You tell yourself its fun, otherwise you conscience will eat you for ignoring it! War is Hell, but Pandora is _worse! _You can't possibly imagine what I've been through!"

Gaige' had tears soaking her gown now; they kept rolling down her face. Her eyes had gone puffy.

"What the hell am I doing? I just bared my soul to a couple of random strangers. Am I really that desperate for company? Geez, I'm pathetic."

Gaige had doubled over sobbing, crying into her folded arms on her lap.

Al brought her a box of tissues. She gratefully accepted one and blew her nose.

"You're not pathetic."

"Thanks, I guess."

Al leaned over to his brother and whispered.

"Ed, maybe we should tell her."

"Tell her what, Al?"

"Our story. She was nice enough to share hers."

"That's not exactly information we give out freely, Al. We still can't trust her. And why? Because you feel sorry for her?"

"Partly that, but also because she reminded me of someone."

"Who?"

"Winry."

Ed frowned. "If you want to tell her, fine. I'm not doing it."

"Ms. Gaige?"

"Yes, Alphonse?"

"There's something I want to show you."

Alphonse removed his helmet.

"Yeah, you're a robot, so?"

Al and Ed stared at each other. That certainly wasn't the reaction they were expecting.

Alfonse bent over so that Gaige could see inside his body.

"Wait. You're totally hollow! How? You would need some machinery to move! That's impossible!"

"When we were kids, we lost our mother at a young age. We thought we were invincible and tried to bring her back with alchemy. Brother lost his right arm in the attempt, and I lost my entire body. Ed sacrificed his left leg to bind my soul to this suit of armor. That's the seal you see at the back of my neck."

"You lost all that… trying to bring back one person?"

"Yes. Alchemy is a powerful art, but it can be incredibly dangerous."

"Damn. And to think how much we rely on New-U stations…"

"New you station? What's that?"

"Oh, erm, It's nothing."

Gaige decided telling them that would be incredibly insensitive. Especially after they had gone out of their way to tell her something extremely personal.

Al stood back up and replaced his helmet, and walked back to his seat.

"Since that terrible day, Ed and I have been searching for a way to restore our Original bodies."

"Why tell me something so personal?"

"Because you shared with us, and I wanted you to understand why Ed was so upset with you."

"I see. Thanks. By the way, what's Alchemy?"

Ed and Al shared another look of amazement and disbelief.

"Oh brother, you really ARE from another world, huh?" chuckled Ed.

"That's what I keep telling you."

"Alchemy is the process of understanding, deconstructing, rearranging and reconstructing matter. It allows you to make nearly anything."

Edward clapped, and turned an empty glass on the table into a bouquet of fake flowers.

"However, In order to create something, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange."

"The field requires a great deal of knowledge about the makeup of the world, however, and often involves years or decades of study. The best alchemists gain Stare Certification and become State Alchemists. Such as myself." Edward removed his silver pocket watch from his pocket and showed Gaige.

"This is a State Alchemist's pocket watch, and serves as our badge of office."

"Is it normal for someone so young to be state certified?"

"No. It's not."

"I see. So when you saw me come in the warehouse, you used alchemy to make yourself some cover, right?"

"That's correct. Now it's my turn to ask some questions."

"Go ahead."

"You said back there that your bullets wouldn't hit me unless you told them to. What did you mean by that?"

"Oh, that. I have an ability called Close Enough. When I fire a round, I have a 50/50 chance for that bullet to deflect and hit anyway, at the cost of half the damage. The bouncing shots will only target my enemies."

"Can… Can everyone from your world do this?!"

"Hah, if they could, we'd all be in trouble! Nope, that one is a 100% Gaige original creation!"

"How does it work?"

"I knew you were going to ask me that. Look, it's really complicated. Let's just say It requires getting the universe on your side, lots of use of the number 42 and impossible equations, and doing the angler fish dance once every third lunar eclipse topless."

"…I'm sorry I asked."

"Ok, when I talked to the Colonel yesterday, he said you were able to do something that allowed you to summon a suit of armor to fight for you, and that it wasn't alchemy. He seemed pretty pissed that it got the drop on him. How'd you do it?"

"Yesterday? But that just happened! No, I was unconscious, wasn't I? How long was I out?"

Al spoke up now."Three days. Ms. Hawkeye hit you pretty hard."

"Yeah, I'd like to have a word with her about that. I can still feel the rifle stock in my chin. Anyway, who's this Colonel guy?"

"My superior officer. Not that I'd admit that to his face."  
Gaige felt her arm buzzing. DT had some information for her, he had picked out the word "colonel" and it matched some memories he had. He synched the data with Gaige. She closed her eyes and watched the clip.

"Deathtrap got the drop on him huh? I can see he looked pretty surprised that he was so fast."

Ed and Al just stared at her confused.

"So, you want to meet my kickass robot, BFF and closest companion Deathtrap huh?"

Gaige raised her left arm and immediately engaged manual control mode alpha.

The familiar blue white light of Digistruction appeared, and Deathtrap slowly rose out of the floor.

"That light… it looked a lot like when I…"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."  
Ed was going to say it looked like how he lost his limbs, but that wasn't really relevant here. Besides, that effect was black, this was white-blue.

"Deathtrap, Voice control mode. All personnel in this room are to be considered friendly."

"UNDERSTOOD."

Gaige had set it up so that she only had to use the password once every three summonings, or every 24 hours, whatever came first. She disengaged manual control now that she was sure deathtrap wasn't going to hurt anyone.

"That was Incredible! It definitely doesn't look like Alchemy now that I've seen it. How did you do it?" exclaimed Al.

"It's called Digistruction. It works sorta similar to how Ed said alchemy works. Matter is scanned, a 3D model of it made, deconstructed molecule by molecule and stored as an electronic pattern. When the object is needed again, the process is reversed, sans the scan. However, unlike Alchemy, It can only create the original item, and only copies. You still need an original for any item. The most it can change is colors in pigments or dyes."

Gaige left out the part that "objects" includes _people_. It also didn't seem relevant seeing as what was likely the only New-U station on the entire planet was deep fried barbecue.

"I see. You're right, it is like Alchemy, but the process just goes understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing. It skips rearranging."

Al spoke up now."You called both me and Deathtrap a "robot". What did you mean by that?"

"A robot is a machine that can think for itself, designed to help humans with their lives. It's an artificial life form, if you will. All robots have some level of intelligence, most have AI's, and some of them have personality. But they have no souls, as far as well can tell. They have all sorts of functions, from cleaning, to building, to war fighting. Some are just built as companions. Deathtrap does the last two for me, even if I haven't given him a personality yet."

Gaige leaned over and gave DT a huge bear hug.

Al looked deeply disturbed by this.

"…You think… I'm a robot?"

"Nah, not anymore. When I saw you were hollow I knew that wasn't it. Plus you explained that your soul was… in the armor somehow? I still don't quite understand that one."

"Well go, on say hello Deathtrap!"

"HELLO."

"Like I said, no personality yet, but I'm thinking of what one I should give him. Isn't he awesome? I built him myself!"

"You built him?"

"Yup! I still can't believe he only got third place in the science fair. THIRD PLACE. Freaking Holloway corruption."

"Science fair? Corruption?"

"Doh, I'm skipping around again. Let me start at the beginning."

"See, I didn't plan on living on Pandora. My home was on Eden-5. I went to high school with this bitch named Marcy Holloway. Real piece of work that one. Anyway, because I'm so different, I got picked on a lot in school, and Marcy was the worst. That's why I built Deathtrap."

"Wait, you built a combat robot just because you were bullied? Mustang showed me the crime scene photos at the warehouse. Isn't that overreacting!?"

"It wasn't intentional at first! DT's claws were originally designed to stun. It was a defect in the design that I fixed later. Now I can control whether it's a stun or a fatal hit."

"So, anyway, I unveiled DT at the science fair, but Marcy's dad not only controlled the police force, but was incredibly wealthy and bought off all the judges so Marcy would win. What's worse, Marcy stole the plans for DT and planned to sell them to Hyperion! When the results were announced, Marcy got 1st, I got 3rd. She came over to gloat, shoved me, and DT did what he was supposed to, and defended me. That's when Marcy… Um…"

"Marcy what?"

"Marcy kind of exploded from DT's claws. Like I said, it was a defect and an accident. But because of that, I had to flee from Eden-5, especially since her dad was chief of police."

Edward still didn't look happy, even if it was an accident.

"You explained how Deathtrap came about, but how'd he wind up in your arm?"

"GAH, I tend to skip ahead a lot, sorry! In the process of building Deathtrap, I cut my arm pretty badly. It's not as bad as it is here. We have an injection that facilitates fast healing. Rather than using one of those, I got inspired and realized I could use a robotic arm to store Deathtrap's Storage Deck Unit so that I'd always have him with me. So I finished the cut, built my new arm from scratch, and viola! Deathtrap from my arm."

"You chose to discard your own flesh arm?!"

"Yeah. I'm sorry if it seems insensitive to you. To be honest, it was one of those spur of the moment things that I didn't fully think through."

"But still, building your own arm one handed… Winry would be impressed."

"Who's Winry?"

"Not important right now."

"In any event, that's how I wound up on Pandora, and a mass murderer. Pretty pathetic huh? Axton, Zero, and Sal all have badass stories, and I accidentally killed a girl. That's not cool."

Gaige looked depressed again, and ready to cry once more.

"You're right. It isn't cool. What is cool is that you realize what you did and you feel bad about it. Even if you have taken human life, there's still hope for you. I don't believe in God, I won't lecture you about redemption, but I do believe that you can atone for your sins by doing what's right, and by protecting others. Maybe I was wrong about you. I just thought you were another psycho getting off on hurting people. Maybe you still are. But I still see the girl that was there before Pandora. She doesn't have to die."

Gaige felt more tears welling up in her eyes, but not because she was depressed. No, she was happy to have someone understand her. She couldn't hold it in again, and she stared bawling her eyes out.

"What are you crying for? There's no use in crying."

Ed slid over on the bed to sit next to where Gaige was sitting and gave her a hug.

"Brother, what are you doing?!"

"What am I supposed to do, let her bawl her eyes out? It would get really awkward in here."

"Ed, what am I supposed to do with you? Now you're falling for a weird space girl whose ideals couldn't be more opposite."

"Shut it Al! Do you really think I'm that easy to sway?"

The uncomfortable hug lasted for another minute when the door opened.

In walked Riza Hawkeye.

"Hey Ed, I came to check and see how you were doi-"

Hawkeye saw the girl sitting there, and reflexively went for her pistol.

"Hold it right there! Don't move! Hands where I can see them!"

Gaige felt the fear creeping up again. She turned to face Hawkeye and felt her right hand subconsciously go for the pistol.

"Lieutenant, wait! Don't shoot! Gaige and I have come to an… understanding."

"Oh? Is that why you're hugging her? Sleeping with the enemy is a serious offense you know!"

"SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND !"

"I didn't say she was, Ed. You did."

"Ms. Hawkeye, It's not what it looks like! Gaige came over to explain some things and try to make us understand why she did what she did." Al was trying to defuse the situation.

"Look, get the Colonel over here and I'll brief him. In the meantime please escort Gaige back to her room."said Ed.

"Edward? Are you sure I can trust her?"

"She may be scary at times, but Lieutenant Hawkeye is a woman of her word. And I want her promise… No, I order you to make sure no harm comes to her. Understood?"

"…Yes, Sir."

Pulling rank was not something Ed often did, but being an equivalent Major in the military sometimes came in handy.

"However, the robot, the suit of armor, comes out of her left arm. You might want to restrain her better until she is cleared."

"Edward? What the hell? I thought I could trust you, maybe even call you a friend someday!"

"I have to make sure that my friends won't get hurt. You have to understand that."

"Understood. Should we have it disconnected for the time being?" asked Riza.

"No. NO! Not my arm! Deathtrap is the last friend I have! You can't take him away! I can't bear to be alone again!"

Gaige's tears had stopped, but now she felt them coming on again. But by this point she had nothing left in her emotional tank.

"It's too much of a risk. You just proved you can escape at will. It's that, or a full body straight jacket."

"No! I need him! I'll… I'll cooperate. I have to be able to move my left hand up to summon him. If you handcuff me behind my back, I can't do that. Is that good enough?"

"We'll have to add extra arm bindings so you can't move the cuffs to your front, but I guess that's sufficient."

"T-Thank you."

A very downtrodden Gaige walked out with Riza back to her room.

"Are you sure that was the right thing to do, brother?"

"I had to Al. Even if she is a good person at heart she's still dangerous. You saw the photos too. That went well beyond normal shooting damage. I shudder to think of what that robot's capable of when it's not on a leash."

"…You're right, but doing it like that still felt wrong."

"I'm tired after all that. I'm going to sleep."

* * *

Gaige walked with Riza back to her hospital room, and showed her where the knocked out men were. Riza called for nurses to aid the men. She reluctantly handed over her ill-gotten pistol and magazines. Riza looked like she was barley containing her anger. The Lieutenant handcuffed the girl behind her back, and told the nurses to call HQ for reinforcement. In the prolonged silence that resulted from waiting for them to arrive, Gaige tried to break the ice.

"I'm… sorry I tried to take a shot at you. I didn't realize everyone in that uniform wasn't the enemy yet."

Riza only glared at her.

"If it helps, I realized you weren't wearing an arm band when I went down. Seriously, you think the rebels would want to shed the uniform!"

"They're a lazy bunch. Most of them rebels would have eventually been kicked out for not following orders, AWOLS, or other such nonsense. Legally, all they had to do to be recognized as enemy prisoners was have an easily seen distinguishing mark on the uniform. I'm not surprised they took the easy way out again."

"It sounds like you would get a lot of friendly fire that way."

"More than we care to admit."

Another awkward pause.

"Ms. Hawkeye?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going to happen to me?"

"That's for the Colonel to decide."

* * *

**Author's Notes: wow, 19 pages?! Longest one yet! Though I knew it would be. It's because this one is dialogue heavy, and I hit enter after every line that a character finishes speaking. And, as Sir Hammerlock would say, "Bah, I'm spouting exposition again, aren't I? Apologies!" However, even though you might know this, the characters don't and they need to know. Plus, this way, if you're familiar with one side but not the other, you get filled in! "Win Win Win, as they say. Nobody says that. I say it."**

**I'm NOT trying to ship Ed/Gaige. I just thought a heartfelt confession was the fastest way for them to get to know each other, and where the other was coming from.**

**Also, I've been breaking the cutie so much lately, huh? It'll get worse before it gets better, but she WILL get better! Daww, don't cry Gaige! *hug* (I actually got a bit misty during this, and I'm WRITING the damn thing. Let me know if you were affected!)**

**The trope in question: (replace dot with . and remove spaces)**

**tvtropes dot org/pmwiki/pmwiki dot php/Main/BreakTheCutie**


	5. Chapter 5: Scarred Minds and Bodies

The next day, Colonel Mustang was working in his office when Lieutenant colonel Hughes entered the room.

"Hey Roy! How's life been treating yah?"

"It could be better. What are you doing here? I don't have time to waste looking at pictures of your family."

"Aww, why not? Who wouldn't want to hear about my darling little daughter Elescia?"

"I'm busy. If there's nothing important you have to say, go away!"

"Actually, I came here to report on the Mechromancer Incident."

"The Mechromancer Incident? Is that what we're calling it now?"

"We followed up on the leads Edward gave us. We went to the area described by the girl and sure enough we found 3 bodies, with wounds matching those in the warehouse."

"And the fourth? Didn't he show up at our crime scene?"

"Indeed he did. The MP's shot him when he looked like he was going for a gun, but they didn't find one on his body. He also had signs of torture. It looks likely the girl lied about how she found the warehouse. She may look sweet and innocent but she's a nasty piece of work."

"And the alleged rape?"

"The hospital ran a sexual assault kit, but it came back clean. Though by the girl's testimony, it should have. I leave it up to you whether you believe her or not on that one."

"Any leads on her activity before coming to East City?"

"None. As far as we can tell, this girl didn't exist 4 days ago. All we found was a report of a break in at a small rural shack, with prints that matched the ones at the warehouse, and a homeless person that said he showed her where the warehouse was."

"Damn. Could she really be telling the truth? What about the machine she said she used to get here? I think she called it a… Fast Travel Station?"

"Yeah, we found something like that, and like she said it looked pretty damaged. Our lab guys couldn't make heads or tails of how it worked though."

"So you're telling me we have a bona-fide space alien and a mass murder on the loose. What is this country coming to?"

"Beats me."

"So, what are we doing with the station?"

"It seemed like a bad idea to move something so unknown, so we're covering it over with a concrete bunker and sealing off the area."

"Hopefully that will keep the curious out, at least. I just hope more don't show up from that thing. One was quite enough."

"Yeah, tell me about it. You managed to rope me into this because I was part of the raid too, and meanwhile Scar has disappeared. He might not even be in East City anymore. Not to mention all the paperwork that's piling up."

"If he's not, it's both good and bad. It makes catching him harder, but at least Fullmetal and myself don't have to worry about him. Although it's possible he just decided to lay low for awhile."

"I wish. I doubt he's gone for good though. Well, I'll let you get back to work then."

Hughes walked out of the room, and slammed the door harder than Mustang would have liked.

Mustang picked up his phone, and called the hospital.

"This is Colonel Mustang of the Amestris Military. Please connect me to Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"One moment, sir."

Two minutes passed before Riza came on the line.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye speaking."

"Lieutenant, I want both Fullmetal and Prisoner Gaige brought to my office within two hours. The prisoner may wear her regular attire."

"Understood, Sir."

Back at the hospital, Hawkeye hung up the receiver and walked to Ed's room.

"Ed, the colonel told me to tell you to be at his office in two hours. Meet me in the parking lot at 1130 hours."

"Ok, fine. I just want this over with so we can go back to looking for the Philosopher's Stone."

She then walked to the nurse's station to ask for Gaige's clothing back. In a few minutes she was handed a laundry bag with the garments.

It was a short walk to her room from there. Riza entered the room to find Gaige sleeping on her side, arms restrained behind her back. It looked uncomfortable.

"Not an early riser, huh?"

"Gaige, wake up. You're going to see the Colonel."

"Mrgh… Five more minutes daddy…"

_Definitely_ not an early riser. It was already 1000 hours.

She shook the girl by the shoulder and managed to rouse her awake.

"Huh, what?"

"It's time for you to see the Colonel. You need to be presentable."

Hawkeye's nose twisted from a foul odor.

"When's the last time you showered?"

"Uhh, two weeks ago? Better than most people."

Riza raised a palm to her face.

"Get up; we're taking you to the showers."

Gaige groggily did as she was told, and followed Riza down the hall to the bathhouse.

"Um, I appreciate the shower and all, but I can't really wash myself if my arms are bound like this."

She had a point. But Riza was not about to be conned.

"We can't unshackle you. It's too risky."

"I'm not asking to be set free. Just handcuff me on my front so I can wash myself."

It was that, or do it for her.

"…Fine. But I have orders to shoot you at the first sign of trouble."

"Gee, that's comforting."

Riza started the long process of unlocking all the bindings that held Gaige's arms together. When she reached the handcuffs, she was poised and ready for action.

"Strip. Now."

"Wha-? Some pervert you are!"

"I have to watch you to make sure you didn't hide anything in the gown. Now strip."

"Can I at least turn around?"

"Yes, you may."

Gaige pulled the one piece hospital gown over her head, and threw it in the hamper."

"There, satisfied? You got to see me naked."

"Yes. Put your arms in front of you."

Gaige did as she was told, and Riza reached around and handcuffed her hands together. The cuffs were reinforced for automail users.

The now naked Mechromancer walked forward into a shower stall and turned on the water.

"Your time limit is 15 minutes. A towel and your clothes will be waiting in a basket outside the stall. You run, you get shot. Understood?"

"Yes Ma'am!" Gaige said slightly sarcastically.

Gaige took full advantage of her 15 minute time limit. It had been weeks since she had had a shower, longer than that with clean water. They hadn't had any running water in Sanctuary since it took off. Gaige toweled off, put on her panties, and immediately discovered a problem.

"I can't get my bra or shirt on with these cuffs on."

Hawkeye entered the stall, expecting to see a topless Mechromancer. Instead she had the towel wrapped around herself.

"Expecting something different?"

Riza said nothing, and undid the cuffs.

"Same rules apply."

"I know I know MOM."

Riza walked out, and Gaige continued dressing herself.

"Is… Is that fabric softener I smell? I nearly forgot what that stuff even WAS!"

"We washed your clothes for you. Some of the poor orderlies nearly passed out handling them."

"Heh heh, a combination of Skag bile, Varkid guts, and spilled Rakk ale will do that! We have limited clean water so we don't get to wash as often as we like."

"You know, for a super advanced space alien, you seem to be lacking in basic comforts."

"Don't have to tell me that twice. I almost miss Eden-5 because of that. Almost."

Gaige finished dressing and exited the stall.

"How do I look?"

Riza didn't think she should answer that question honestly. "It will have to do. You smell a lot better though."

Gaige looked nonplused but decided to let it slide. She stuck out her hands again, and Riza hand cuffed her in front of her body, and took the arm bindings with her.

Riza took Gaige to the cafeteria for a quick brunch, and let her go to the bathroom. To Riza's great surprise she had kept her word and cooperated, never once taking a chance to run off or take advantage of the fact that she could raise her left arm. However, you could never be too careful. Riza took off the cuffs and put them back on behind Gaige's back, and started relocking the arm restraints.

"Is that really necessary? I've cooperated with you!"

"We can't take risks with the Colonel's safety."

"Of course not. Woe is a little girl's comfort in the face of the Great and Mighty Colonel's security!"

Riza looked miffed at this. She shoved her to get going when she was finished binding her.

"Hey! What was that for?"

Riza didn't answer.

They started walking towards the parking lot. Ed and Al were already there. Ed was wearing his trademark black pants and red overcoat.

"Hey Hawkeye. What's she doing here?"

"I was ordered to take both of you to see the Colonel."

"Great. Let's get this over with."

Gaige didn't even look at Ed.

Their car pulled up, and the four of them piled in the back seats. It was a tight fit, especially with Al in the car. It was an uncomfortable ride to headquarters. Along the way, Riza couldn't help but think that Gaige seemed like a typical teenager, even if she dressed oddly. She snarked at her at the appropriate times, had much fire, and if she didn't know better she could see her living in one of the multitude of houses that passed by. Of course, most of the girls her age hadn't committed mass murder.

The half hour ride to headquarters seemed to take forever for Gaige. All she could think about as her fate. They hadn't immediately put her in prison clothes, so that was a good sign. Then again she was sure she had broken a multitude of their laws, even if she didn't know what they were. Well, she could guess murder. That one seemed universal save for Pandora and Prometheia. What if she spent the rest of her life in prison? What if they took DT away? Or maybe she'd just be shot? She didn't like her chances of coming back at a New-U station, seeing as the closest one was out of action, and the next closest one could be galaxies away.

At 1200 hours sharp, the car arrived at Eastern Command. The quartet made their way out of the car and up to Mustang's office.

"You're 5 minutes late, Lieutenant. "

"Sorry Sir, It won't happen again."

"So, now I have to decide what to do with you Gaige… I'm sorry; your last name didn't come up."

"It's a Pandoran thing. Even if you have one you don't use it, or you only use your last name."

"I see. "

"Colonel, if you just wanted to talk to her, why am I here?" asked Ed.

"We will get to that. Rest assured this involves you."

"So, Ms. Gaige, you come to our country and make a mess of things. Don't even take in the sights or the dining before you start wrecking things. By our count, there were 73 kills we could only attribute to you. There were probably more that looked more generic. You've made quite a mess, and caused me a lot of headaches and additional work. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm…sorry?"

What else could she say to a statement like that?

"Hmm. However your actions were not without merit. Your direct actions saved the life of Fullmetal, and you indirectly saved us from an ambush that would have cost many of the lives of my men. Also, all the people you killed were considered Enemies of the State. For those reasons, I'm willing to drop the charges against you and cover up the entire affair by saying you were a mercenary we hired on last minute for additional support."

For the first time in a long time, Gaige looked ecstatic. She leaped up in the air, kicking her heels up behind her. If she were able to, she would have fist pumped.

"Yahoo!"

All eyes stared at her.

"Uh, I mean, I understand."

"However, my mercy has conditions. You will accompany Fullmetal wherever he goes as his body guard."

"And if I refused?"

"Your arm would be removed, replaced with a different prosthetic and you would spend the rest of your life in prison for mass murder."

"Not much of a choice, Colonel."

"I know."

Mustang gave a slight smile. He knew when he had his target by the balls. Metaphorically speaking, in this case.

"…Fine. If that's your best offer."

"It is."

"Wait, wait, wait. Why do I need a body guard? And why does it have to be HER?!"

"Scar is still on the loose. He's gone quiet recently, so quite frankly he could be anywhere."

"Bullshit! You could assign anyone else under your command! …Oh. Now I see. It's so we keep an eye on each other, isn't it? This way you have your two loosest cannons keeping each other in check! This is a punishment isn't it? What a Mustang solution."

"You know me too well, Fullmetal. This is for rushing off on your own into the warehouse without orders."

Ed's fists clenched up and he trembled in anger at the Colonel.

"In any case, Lieutenant Hawkeye, you may release the prisoner."

Riza did as she was told and started the long process of unbinding Gaige's arms. When she was finally free, Gaige rubbed her flesh arm with her robotic one.

"So, does this mean I get my gun and my gear back?"

"Not quite yet."

Mustang hit a buzzer on his desk.

"Have them bring Gaige's items up from evidence."

"Yes Sir."

A few minutes later, an aide arrived with the items in a box, and placed it on mustang's desk.

"Before we return these to you, I'd like you to explain their function. We don't want you to have any wild cards. However, if I suspect you're being untruthful, the deal's off and you are going to prison. Understood?"

Gaige nodded. Mustang took the first item out of the box. It was her Echo recorder.

"That's my E.C.H.O. device. It allows me to send, receive, and record messages. It also acts as a mapping device, and allows me to navigate my SDU. Its final function is as a H.U.D."

"What's a hud?"

"Heads Up Display. If you turn it on with the button on the side there, it will allow you to see vital statistics about yourself and the surroundings."

Mustang did so, and found what Gaige said was true.

He put the Echo aside and moved on to the next item, the SDU.

"That's a SDU, or Storage Deck Unit. It allows me to store several items in a small space. It works on the same Digistruct technology Deathtrap does. Except mine's broken right now. The most I can take out of it is ammo."

Mustang put it to the side, and took the next item, the shield.

"That's a personal energy shield. It deflects attacks for its wearer. Each shield has a fixed capacity for taking damage, and a different amount of time it takes to recharge. If you hit the shield before its delay is up, it won't recharge. That particular model is a Maliwan Spike shield. That's how Ed was electrocuted, it rebounds some of the energy of the strike to the attacker. It only works on melee attacks though. Bullets do not get rebound damage."

"Lieutenant, give her the shield back."

"Are you sure Colonel?"

"Yes."

Riza took the shield off the desk, and handed it to Gaige. Gaige clipped it to her belt and turned it on. A faint shimmer appeared around her.

"Good. Now Lieutenant Hawkeye, shoot Gaige once."

"What?! You can't do that!"Roared Ed.

"Yes Sir."

Riza drew her sidearm and fired one round at Gaige. A light spot appeared between the bullet and her head, showing where the shield had stopped the round. The fragmented bullet fell to the floor.

"I see. So you weren't lying."

"Are you COMPLETLEY INSANE COLONEL?! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER!" Ed was Furious at Mustang.

"We needed to see if she was telling the truth. If she lied about the shield, she would have been dead. If she lied about bullets not reflecting damage, I would have incinerated her on the spot. Call me cruel if you must, but I had to be sure."

"You don't' mess around, Colonel. Remind me not to cross you again." Gaige was unfazed by the shooting, but impressed by his determination.

"You would do well not to. Now as for your weapon…"

Gaige could see it wasn't in the box.

"You don't get that back until you have passed a gun safety course from Lt. Hawkeye."

"I already know that stuff! I know you've only seen the one but I have dozens of guns!"

"And you won't get yours back until Hawkeye is satisfied you know how to use one safely."

"Alright, whatever."

"Dismissed."

Riza saluted. "Sir!"

The four of them walked out of his office.

"Follow me to the shooting range, Gaige. We'll do the gun safety course there. As for you Elric brothers, you're free for now, but don't leave HQ. We shouldn't be more than a few hours."

"Fine. Come on Al; let's see what there is to do in this dump."

"Coming brother!"

The group split up into pairs, each going their own way.

"I can't_ believe_ that stupid Mustang! Making us babysit each other? What a convenient solution." Fumed Edward.

"You have to admit that it does kill two birds with one stone. What if Scar shows up? You saw what she's capable of. Though I wish we knew how Scar overpowered those other State Alchemists."

"I doubt he'd tell us. But honestly, next time I see Mustang I oughtta sock him one with the right arm!"

Meanwhile, Gaige and Riza had walked to the range. Riza talked to the man running the booth and checked out a pair of pistols, some ammo and hearing and eye protection.

They walked over to one of the firing lanes and put on the glasses. Riza set down the pistol cases on the bench, removed one, and inserted a magazine.

"Now, show me how you handle a gun."

Gaige first put on her hearing protection. She then accepted the pistol, making sure to keep it pointed away from them as she held it. Gaige engaged the safety, released the magazine, and saw it was empty. She placed the magazine on the bench, pulled back the slide, and visually confirmed there was no round chambered. The magazine was replaced, the slide put into position, and placed back on the bench.

Gaige then checked her surroundings. She saw no-one in the adjacent lanes, though there were shooters farther down. The firing lane itself was clear, except for a silhouette target. Her back space was clear as well. Gaige picked up the pistol and assumed the Weaver stance (Two handed grip), finger off of the trigger.

"Zone is clear! Taking a shot!"

Gaige disengaged the safety; put her finger on the trigger, and dry fired with a small _click_.

That done, she took her finger off the trigger, reengaged the safety, dislodged the magazine, and pulled open the slide again, cleared it, and set down the weapon on the bench.

Riza looked stunned. She had expected this girl to be a guns blazing type with no training.

"You did that very well. Almost no mistakes."

"See? I told you I knew my stuff! I had a great teacher! Axton taught me everything I know!"

"Axton?"

"He was a Commando in the Dahl military. He made sure I didn't follow Sal's example, he he!"

"I think you're almost ready for my approval. Run it again."

Gaige gave her best soldier face and saluted. "Yes Ma'am!"

In another half an hour, Riza was ready to sign off on Gaige.

"We have some extra time. Why don't we do some target practice while were here?"

"Sure, that sounds like fun!"

"A gun isn't fun, Gaige. It's a tool."

"You've obviously never been to Pandora."

Gaige took a firing stance, and unloaded a magazine at the center mass target. Most of her shots placed in the first two rings.

"Well done."

"Thanks!"

Gaige reloaded, and a new target was put up.

Another magazine was put down range, and the grouping was a bit wilder this time.

"Hmm. Not as good as before. Keep your legs stiff and try again."

"Will do."

One more magazine, one more target. Soon another 17 rounds perforated the paper. The accuracy was even worse this time, with only five in the center ring, and one completely in the white miss area.

But Riza noticed two things. First, the holes in the paper were somehow getting larger. And Gaige seemed to be having the time of her life.

Another repetition of this cycle saw the same results.

"Just what is going on here..?"

After they had finished, they returned the equipment to the check in desk. She walked Gaige over to the evidence room, and relived the guards that were outside guarding the weapon. The clerk inside the room quickly found the item, it wasn't every day they got a crimson Gatling gun that shot electric bullets. The evidence tag was still attached to it.

"Here, let me get you some scissors."

"No need, I got this."

Gaige digistructed a claw and cut the tag off.

"You didn't tell us about that!"

"I didn't? Oh. Um. I kinda forgot about it?"

Riza sighed and rubbed her temples. How could she forget something as important as mentioning that she could have stabbed her at any time they were together?! Oh well. It didn't appear to be out of malice; else Hawkeye would have been long dead. Gaige stored the weapon on her back with the electromagnet.

"There's one more thing, Lt. Hawkeye. I used up most of my ammo stores at the warehouse. If I'm going to guard Ed I'll need more."

"Follow me; it's this way to the armory."

A short walk later they were there. Gaige opened one of the crates of Rifle ammo, and it appeared to be the same caliber that her gun used. Gaige put one of the crates into her SDU and it disappeared.

"Whoa. Even if I know how it works, it's still impressive to see it in action."

"Yeah, the first time you do it its crazy. If it was working fully I could fill this room with guns!"

Gaige loaded another crate, and that was enough to fill her stores. Riza signed out the ammo and left with Gaige to meet back up with the Elrics.

"What took you guy's so long? We were bored out of our skulls here! You said it would only be a few hours!"

A few hours? Riza took out her watch. It was 1700 hours now. Had she really spent that much time at the range with Gaige?

"Uh, sorry for the wait boys. She turned out greener that I had feared."

Gaige shot her a "What the hell?!" gaze that could melt steel. Riza didn't want to admit it, but it had been fun getting to shoot with another woman. It was not a chance she often got.

"Whatever. Let's go back to the hotel. I'm starving here!"

They walked down to the motor pool and signed out a car. The sky was starting to look cloudy, it looked like rain. Riza drove them back to the hotel, and checked out a separate room for Gaige. Ed wandered over to the attached restaurant to get some dinner. Al joined him mostly to keep him company.

"I'll leave you three alone for today then. Keep him safe, ok?"

"Will do."

Hawkeye turned to leave and stared walking to the door.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Yes, Gaige?"

"Thanks for the lesson. I had a great time today. It was the most fun I've had since I got here."

Gaige was still a bit high on her small anarchy buzz.

"No problem. And please, you're not military. You can call me Riza."

"Right! Oh, there is one other thing."

"Hm? What is it?"

"I don't suppose you've ever met anyone named Lilith?"

"Not that I can recall. Why?"

"It's just that you sound just like her… What am I saying; of course you've never met her."

Riza gave her a small smile. "Goodnight, Gaige."

"Goodnight, Ms. Riza!" Gaige gave her a beaming smile in return.

GROWL!

"Urk. Maybe I should go join Ed for dinner; my stomach says it's ready."

Gaige walked over to the restaurant, and quickly picked out the Elrics. It wasn't hard to spot a giant suit of armor, and a blonde ponytail and a flashy red coat on a shrimp. Their backs were turned to them, and this gave Gaige an idea. She took the cover off a hidden compartment in her ECHO device, took two small objects out of them, and placed them in her palms. That done, she replaced the cover, stored her ECHO and walked over to where they were sitting.

"Hey guys what's for dinner?" Gaige slapped Al on the back with her metal left arm, producing a tremendous CLANG that sounded like a drum. This drum went off right next to Ed and about shook him out of his seat.

"Hey, watch it! That's my eardrums you're trying to destroy!"

"Um. Oops? That's not normally something I have to think about! Heh heh. Sorry Al!"

"It's alright, you didn't mean to."

"Anyway, what do you want? I don't need a babysitter." Fumed Ed.

"Like I said, Dinner! That's all!"

"Let me guess, you don't have any local currency, and you're here to mooch off me."

"Urk! Damn, you got me. Unless you think the cashier will accept this?"

Gaige drew a Pandoran dollar from her SDU. Ed shook his head.

"I didn't think so. And as your bodyguard it's your responsibility to make sure I'm strong enough to defend you!" Gaige was clearly having fun toying with him.

"Great, so I get saddled with a weird space alien who's cheap and a moocher to boot. Just what I needed."

"Hey, I told you I'm not weird! Besides, Moxxi says the fastest way to get to know someone is to share a drink with them. Though you look a bit young for that, so dinner is the next best thing."

"Fine, whatever. Just do me a favor and order something cheap like pasta or soup."

Gaige sat down across from them at the round table. As she did, her right hand grazed the edge of Edward's coat.

"So, Al, what's good on the menu here?"

"I heard the steak is to die for! It's on the list of things I want to eat."

"Steak? As In ACTUAL COW STEAK?!"

"What other kind is there?" Snarked Ed.

"I can't tell you how long it's been since I had steak that wasn't made of Skag, Varkid, Stalker, or Rakk! Cow meat is crazy expensive on Pandora! I could eat an entire cow right now!"

"Skag? Varkid? Are they good for eating Ms. Gaige?"

"Bluegh. Hardly. It's more of a survival food."

The waiter came around, dressed in a suit vest and slacks with a bow tie. It was a slightly upscale place, and while Ed was alright, the sight of a suit of armor, and a schoolgirl in a ripped shirt covered in skulls was quite odd to say the least.

"What may I get for the young Alchemist and his…?"

"Bodyguard."

"…Right, bodyguard?"

"I'll have the chicken marsala. I don't really care, just no milk in the sauce."

"Very well sir. And for you, miss?"

"Two orders of your best steak, please."

"Very well Ma'am. And to drink?"

"Just water here." Said Ed.

"Psst, Ed, What's the drinking age here?"

"18. Why?"

"A glass of your best red wine then."

"Very well then. Your order will be out shortly."

"Well, you certainly made yourself comfortable. And what's with the Two orders of steak? You trying to make good on your promise to eat a whole cow?!"

"No silly. One for me, one for Al!"

Ed and Al gasped and stared uncomfortably at Gaige.

"What? What did I say? Should I have ordered him something else?"

"No, it's not you. It's just that…" Ed trailed off.

"I can't eat with this body. I showed you I was hollow inside, remember? That's why I said it was on the list of things I wanted to eat. The list is for when I get my body back." Explained Al.

"Al, I'm really sorry! I… I didn't know. I should have made the connection on my own."

"It's not your fault. It didn't come up before."

"I don't feel that hungry anymore. I'll be in the room, Al."

"Brother, Wait!"

Ed walked off without saying anything else.

"I'm really sorry, Al. I didn't mean to upset him."

"It's not your fault. Brother blames himself for the way my body is. I'm going after him, ok?"

"But what about the bill?!"

"Just have them put it on Ed's hotel tab!"

Al ran after his brother. Gaige waited for the food to arrive, and true to her word, ate both the steaks. The food was excellent, but Gaige couldn't really enjoy it. She drank the wine, and considered getting smashed, but decided against it. She told herself she needed to be sober and apologize to Ed later.

She told the waiter to box the marsala and put it on Ed's tab. Gaige walked back to the front desk, and had them show her to her room. It was directly adjacent to Ed and Al's. She was feeling tired from the big meal and the wine, so she decided to take a nap. She'd apologize to Ed later. She set the alarm on her echo for 8pm, or 2000 hours as she'd become used to saying recently. She put the gun by her bedside and collapsed face first into bed.

When she awoke to the alarm on her Echo, She walked over and knocked on the Elric's door. No reply. She waited a few more seconds and tried again. Still nothing. She tried the door handle and found it unlocked. The boys weren't there. Feeling slightly worried, she went back to her room, grabbed her gear and her gun, and went down to the front desk.

"Excuse me; did you see where the Elric brothers went?"

"They left about an hour ago. Should I leave a message for them?"

"No, that's ok."

Gaige ran outside, pulled out her Echo, and started looking for the Elrics. The shy was black and it was raining heavily. She knew it was probably nothing; they probably just wanted to be alone. But a knot in her stomach told her otherwise.

_Meanwhile in Liore _

"Oh hey, did you hear the news, Lust? Shou Tucker, that alchemist in East City, he's dead."

"Tucker? Why should we care about a nothing like him Envy?"

"Because it was him who was responsible for the murder."

Gluttony was present too, enjoying his latest snack, a man who had witnessed Father Cornello transform into Envy.

"Speaking of East City, Isn't that where the Flame Colonel is?"

"Yeah, and apparently the Fullmetal brat is too. But here's the really interesting part. Someone from Father's B plan has shown up on this world."

"Oh? Now that is interesting. And as furious as I am at the Fullmetal boy's interference, we can't let either of them die. After all, they're both important sacrifices."

"Ooh! That was so yummy!" Examined Gluttony.

"Don't worry, we'll find some way of handling the situation."

_Back in East City_

Ed and Al were sitting next to a statue by the river, talking in the rain.

Edward monologues: "I've been thinking about this for a long time. We put all out trust in Alchemy, but in the end, what is it? Alchemy is the science of understanding the flow of matter and its laws. The process of comprehension, deconstruction, and reconstruction. The world flows too, it must follow laws, everything circulates. Even death is a part of that circulation, you must accept the flow. Teacher sure drummed that into our heads didn't she? I thought I understood it. I didn't understand anything. Mom proves that. Now here I am again trying to figure out how to do the impossible. I'm such a hopeless idiot. All this time and I haven't grown up one bit. Thought maybe the rain would wash away some of this gloom that's following me. Right now every drop that hits my face is even more depressing."

"I don't even get that much. Without a body, I can't feel the rain hitting my face. That's something I miss, all the time. I want to get my body back soon, brother. I just want to be human again. Even if it means going against the flow of the world and trying to do the impossible."

"Hey, I finally found you!"

Ed looked up from his gloom to see Gaige standing in the rain, looking slightly out of breath.

"Gaige? How did you find us?"

"Oh. I erm, kinda planted tracking devices on you guys."

"Why'd you do that?!"

"If im going to guard you, I need to know where you guys are!"

That was a lie. She had planted them in case she needed to get away from them.

"Anyway, what are you guys talking in the rain for? It's depressing."

"I know."

"What were you talking about anyway?"

"It doesn't concern you."

"Brother, don't be like that! It's just that we lost a friend of ours recently."

"A friend?"

"Yeah. We were researching how to get our bodies back, and went to see a State Alchemist who specialized in Chimera research."

"Chimeras?"

"Yes. The use of alchemy to fuse two animals together, gaining traits of both. Except this alchemist, Shou Tucker, Used his own wife and five year old daughter for the chimeras."

"He used… people? I get the feeling that's bad, but how?"

"Once a person is made into a chimera, there is no way to undo the fusion. Before we could do anything, Scar killed both Tucker and his daughter-chimera."

"That's… horrible. No wonder you're so depressed."

"Yeah. We were contemplating alchemy trying to think of a way to get our bodies back."

"The Vault Hunters lost someone special to us not to long ago too."

"Vault Hunters?"

"Yeah. That's what we call ourselves."

Gaige told them the quick version of handsome Jack's occupation of Pandora, the Vaults, and why they needed the key.

"When we finally got inside the control core, we found out she wasn't an AI."

"What's an AI?"

"Oh. It's... sorta like a robot, but with no body of its own. It's also more likely to have a personality. I think the best way to think of it is a fake soul."

There was another concept that disturbed Alphonse greatly.

"So if she wasn't an AI, what was she?"

"A Siren. And more importantly, Handsome Jack's daughter. He had been using her to charge the vault key for the last five years, forcing her to be injected with eridium to charge the key. The process looked highly painful and apparently she became dependant on it to live."

"That's horrible. I would ask how someone could do that to their own daughter, but I think I already know."

"After the battle to destroy her injectors, Angel died. Even with all our advanced technology there was nothing we could do for her. But the worst part? When we recovered the key and thought everything was ok, Handsome Jack shot Roland, killed him instantly. We still don't know how he did it. And he kidnapped Lilith. Even though we got Lilith back and stopped Jack, we never did find a way to bring Roland back. He... He was like a father to us all. So I think I understand what you guys are going through."

There were droplets of water rolling down Gaige's face. Whether it was from the rain or her tears wasn't clear.

"…Thanks for sharing. Maybe we aren't so different after all." Mumbled Ed.

"You boy, you're the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric, correct?"

Ed looked up at the unknown voice. Scar drew back his right hand opened his pam, and thrusted at Fullmetal.

"Brother!"

Al dragged him out of the way. Ed recovered and used alchemy to put a wall between himself, Al, and Gaige and their unknown attacker.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Scar blew apart the wall.

Who is this guy? What does he want? This is bad. This is really bad! Ed's mind raced. I have to move, now! Gaige drew her weapon.

"Let's go, Al, Gaige! Let's run for it!"

"What? Why! I can take him!"

"Just shut up and RUN!"

The three of them made their way down a staircase to the river. Scar jumped down ahead of them.

"No you don't!"

He collapsed the stairway, causing the thee of them to plummet down. Al grabbed on to a ledge, and used his other hand to catch Ed. Gaige grabbed onto Ed's dangling arm with one of her own, holding her weapon in the other hand. The trio precariously swung for a moment before scar destroyed the rest of the staircase. They fell to the lower part of the stairs roughly.

"Al, Gaige, grab on!"

Ed clapped and transmuted a pillar to take them over the river. Scar destroyed its base, causing the three of them to tumble to the ground.

"Damn it! What the hell is this guy's problem? Making enemies isn't something I ever.. well I never really avoided it, but there's no reason someone should be trying to kill me!"

Gaige had taken the lead, running slightly ahead of the Elrics. They ran down a small alley when the exit to it collapsed.

"Who are you anyway? Why are you after us?"

"As long as there are creators like you, there must be destroyers."

"It looks like we're going to have to fight!"

Ed clapped, and transmuted a dagger out of a piece of pipe. Al assumed fighting stance.

"Gutsy one, aren't you?"

Ed and Al charged their assailant.

"Ed NO! I don't have clear shot!" Cried Gaige.

"But… too slow!"

Scar transmuted as Ed and Al passed, blowing a giant hole in Al's body.

"There's nothing inside..?"

"You BASTARD!" Ed charged scar with his dagger again.

"You're too slow!"

Scar tried to transmute his arm, but it had no effect as he recoiled backwards.

"Shit! I still don't have a clear shot!"

Gaige couldn't fire without risk of hitting Ed. Bandit Gatling guns were not known for their accuracy.

"Damn it!" Ed took off his coat for better maneuverability.

"An automail arm? Then that explains why my attacks didn't do the damage I expected. Most unusual."

Ed clapped, and transmuted a blade on his arm.

"Brother! Don't! Just run away, let Gaige handle it!"

"You idiot! I'm not just gonna leave you behind Al!"

"You press your hands together to make a ring and perform transmutation. Now I see."

Ed charged at the attacker again.

"Ed NO! If I shoot now I may over-penetrate and hit you! Wait till I can help you!" Gaige had long since ruled out rushing in with melee strikes, seeing what had happened to Al.

"Then I will have to start by destroying this abhorrent right arm of yours!"

Scar caught Ed's arm, used his right arm to blow apart Ed's automail one, and watched as Ed fell to the ground.

"Brother!"

"Ed, NO!" screamed Gaige.

"Now you will not be able to use your heretic's alchemy."

Gaige finally saw her chance. With Ed on the ground she finally had a clear shot.

"You get the HELL AWAY FROM MY NEW FRIEND!"

Gaige aimed high, and the gun's barrels slowly started spinning up and spitting blue tracer rounds.

Scar looked back and saw the gun firing. He quickly leaped out of the line of fire of the alley.

"Damn. That was careless of me." He had forgotten about the girl since she hadn't done anything yet.

Gaige quickly ran out of the alley, firing the entire time. Scar zig-zagged out of the way.

"Damn it, he's fast! If I only had a more accurate gun!"

Scar saw rounds striking all around him. Whoever this girl was, she wasn't much of a shot. That's when he felt the first scratch.

"What?"

A round had bounced off the stone street, just grazing his leg.

"A Fluke..?"

No. It wasn't a fluke. Now that he looked closer more and more rounds starred bouncing toward him, Scar just barely managed to dodge the worst of them, covering him in small nicks and cuts. He quickly got behind cover.

"Just what are you, girl?"

"Me? I AM THE STONGEST GIRL ALIVEEEE!"

She continued firing rounds to bounce behind his cover, but quickly found herself out of ammo.

"Now's my chance..!"

Gaige saw the man rushing for her, and knew she wouldn't have time to reload.

"Deathtrap, cover me!"

Gaige raised her left arm and summoned DT. She continued to reload her weapon.

"Girl, that's some strange alchemy you know."

"Not that you have time to worry about it! DT, SIC EM!"

DT did as he was commanded, and took two broad swings at scar with his claws. Scar easily dodged them.

"A floating golem you can use to fight for you. Impressive."

DT reared back to prepare his laser attack.

"But... He's full of openings!"

Scar rushed forward, and placed his right hand on DT's chassis. A spark appeared from his right arm and an enormous hole appeared in DT's chest. DT made a death rattle and deconstructed back into Gaige's arm.

"DT! You bastard!" Gaige opened fire.

Rather than running away like she expected, however, scar closed the remaining 15 feet with surprising speed. In an instant he had his right hand on the barrel of the gun.

"You have some interesting toys there girl. But your speed leaves something to be desi-"

The shock spike shield did what it was designed to, and electrocuted Scar. But Gaige noticed now that it too was malfunctioning. Rather than activation on attack, it had triggered when he merely touched her gun. And rather than a small shock, it dumped the entire shield's capacity into an attack. In retrospect it was amazing the shield didn't kill Ed instantly. She watched as the man twitched with electricity flowing though his veins.

Was it over? Was he dead? He had slumped to his knees, hand still on the gun.

"That's some trick, girl. I don't know how you did that, but I'm guessing you can't do it twice!"

Impossible. With the shield malfunctioning like this he should be dead, or at least unconscious!

The blue spark of transmutation leapt forth from his right arm, causing the Bandit Gatling gun to explode into a million pieces. Small fragments of shrapnel flew up, and cut Gaige's face, and cut the hose clamps from her hair, causing it to fall in front of her face. In both pain and shock, Gaige leapt backwards, and drew her hammer with her right hand, and digistructed her claws with her left.

"Now that your weapon is gone, you are no match for me!"

Gaige a guttural scream and lunged for scar with her claws, followed by a hammer swing.

"I already told you, you're too slow!" He grabbed Gaige's left arm in the same manner he had Ed's, and transmuted. Nothing happened.

"It's not steel?"

Gaige swung her hammer at Scar's head. He had to dodge to avoid having his head smashed in.

"Shit. What's wrong with my shield?" It wasn't recharging like it should have. It was still showing depleted on her H.U.D.

"As I thought. You could only do that trick once. In that case… I'll just have to try again!"

Gaige heard the beep that indicated that DT was ready for action again. She raised her left arm to summon him.

"Not happening!"

Scar intertwined the fingers of his right hand with the fingers of Gaige's left. A look of shock crossed her face. The blue spark of transmutation went down scar's right arm and up Gaige's left. Her arm exploded into fragments, and she fell over backwards.

"If it was not steel, then it was Aluminum. Now girl, stay down now that you have no more to fight with. If you resist further I will kill you."

Gaige lay on the ground, clutching the stump where her arm had been.

"No… Deathtrap! DT, are you ok?!"

There was no response.

Ed had watched the entire battle in stunned silence.

"No… Gaige!"

Scar walked back to where Ed lay.

"I will give you a moment to pray to God."

"No! Brother! Run away!" cried Al.

"What Al said! You can't win!" Mirrored Gaige.

"Unfortunately there isn't a God I'd like to pray to. Am I your only target today, or are you going after Al and Gaige too?"

"If they interfere further, I will eliminate them. But Fullmetal Alchemist, you are the only one who's receiving judgment today. You alone."

"Okay. In that case I want you to promise me. Promise me you'll leave my brother and Gaige alone!"

"Brother!"

"Edward!"

"I will keep that promise."

"Brother, what are you thinking?! Run! Get up and run!"

Scar leaned over to touch Fullmetal's head.

A gunshot rang out.

"I don't know what kind of freak you are to get your jollies on killing unarmed kids, but I'll be damned if I let that happen!"

Gaige knew that voice.

"No. It can't be. All my friends are dead."

"Another newcomer? No matter. I shall kill all who interfere with my work!" said Scar.

A small box landed in front of Gaige. She stared in disbelief as the box unfolded, and grew larger, revealing a turret.

"Ax…ton?"

* * *

**Authors Notes: Yes, I'm evil for cliff hanger-ing it there, lol. I was going to add more, but this is already a really long chapter, we'll pick it up next time. So Gaige faces her first alchemist, and it doesn't go so well, lol. I also hope the fan service in this chapter was good, but not overdone.**


	6. Chapter 6: Anarchy Aftermath

Gaige looked down the street to see a tall, handsome man with blonde coifed hair. He was wearing green khaki pants with a brown leather zip up jacket. On his shoulder sat a gold and black sighting device, and in his hands was a flame camouflaged Assault Rifle, with a Minigun barrel. Said gun was aimed at Scar.

"No. My concussion's playing tricks on me. You're dead!"

"Aww, come on sweetie, is that any way to greet your long lost pal?"

Gaige felt the tears well up in her eyes again.

"…Stupid. What took you so long?"

"We'll talk later. Right now I have a new enemy to crush. This won't take long."

"Careful! Don't let him touch you! He can-"

"I saw. Don't worry; I don't plan on dying any time soon!"

Axton had deployed his second turret on a high wall of a nearby building. Both turrets were aimed at scar but not firing.

"So, whoever you are, you going to come quietly, or do I have to blow a couple dozen new holes in you?"

"I cannot let my work go unfinished. All who interfere shall die!"

"I was kinda hoping you'd say that. Ladies, chew him up!"

With that, both turrets opened fire, and Axton let loose a burst from his Dahl Minigun. Scar rolled right to avoid the burst, and rushed toward the ground level turret. Running in a zig-zag pattern, he managed to avoid its fire. Right as it started its rocket barrage, Scar leaped in the air, rolling forward. As he was upside down over the turret, he reached down with his right arm and transmuted. The turret exploded, and deconstructed. As soon as Scar landed, however, Axton had him lined up in his sights. He fired another burst.

Scar had milliseconds to react, and bent over backwards to avoid the fire. Catching himself on his arms, Scar rolled left behind a concrete divider, covering himself from Axton's next burst. However, the second turret had reacquired tracking on him, and opened fire. Scar rushed forward to the building it was attached to, running faster than the turret could turn to track him.

"Geez! What's this guy made of? I've never seen a guy so muscular move so damn quickly! HOLD STILL SO I CAN SHOOT YOU; YOU BASTARD!" Axton let loose more bursts form the assault rifle as he said this, none of them finding their target due to Scar's dodging.

Scar reached the building the second turret was attached to, and used his Alchemy to collapse the wall to bring the turret to ground level, where he quickly destroyed it.

"Damn. I gotta admit, for a guy without a gun you're pretty good. I've never had both of my turrets destroyed in one shot before."

"For someone who's not an alchemist, you're not bad yourself. It takes everything I have to dodge your fire."

"Nah, if I were really any good, you would have been dead by now. Though I intend to fix that!"

Scar rushed for Axton, as he readied his rifle. A shot rang out. It made a different sound than a rifle, and to Axton's trained ear, he made it out as a pistol round.

"That's enough! You won't be killing anyone else today, Scar! I'm taking you into custody, where you will answer for the murders of at least 10 state alchemists." Mustang had a pistol in his hands, aimed skyward and smoking from the shot. His staff and at least 20 regular soldiers were with him.

"The locals are finally here, huh? Took 'em long enough." Said Axton.

"Alchemists convert things from their natural from, perverting them into something else, something grotesque. They profane god, the creator of all things. As an agent of god, I am here to bring down his judgment. If you interfere I will eliminate you as well."

"Oh, is that right?"

Mustang handed his gun to Lt. Hawkeye. Scar seemed distracted by this new arrival, so Axton made his way over to Gaige.

"You guys stay out of it."

"Colonel Mustang, Sir!"

"Colonel Mustang? So you're the Flame Alchemist. Volunteering yourself to receive judgment! This is truly an auspicious day!"

"So you know who I am and you still want to challenge me? Bad decision!"

Riza rushed forward. Mustang snapped his fingers, but only a puff of smoke came out as Scar thrust his right arm forward towards his face. Riza kicked Mustang's leg out from under him, and opened fire on Scar with twin pistols. Scar had to jump back in a zig-zag to avoid the fire, before finding cover behind a building's corner.

"Hey Hawkeye, what'cha do that for!?"

"You know as well as I do you that you're useless on rainy days. Please stay back."

A large "USELESS" sign fell and hit Mustang on the head. (Hey, I can use anime tropes if I want to!)

"Oh yeah, I forgot, it's kind of hard to get a spark going when it's raining, huh?" Said 2nd Lieutenant Havok.

"It is good that you cannot create your blasphemous flames, State Alchemist. For I will destroy all who oppose my mission right here and now!"

"I'd like to see you try it!" A new voice rung out, and scar managed to dodge the massive punch at the last second.

"Another newcomer?"

"You have to be quick to avoid my fist! Not bad! Not bad at all! You said you were going to destroy us all. In that case, why don't you start by defeating me! We'll see how you fare against the Strong-arm Alchemist, Louis Armstrong!"

Some soldiers took the distraction to help up Ed. Axton had been guarding Gaige, not saying anything. When he saw that the threat would be busy for awhile, he holstered his weapon, and sat down next to Gaige to help.

"Hey there. You look like hell."

He wasn't kidding. Besides the scratches on her face, and the destroyed left arm, her hair had fallen in front of her face and her tears were mixing with the rain.

"Axton you big dummy, what took you so long! I… I was so scared I was going to die alone!"

She wrapped her remaining arm around him and held on as tight as she could.

"Hey, you know it takes more than a teleport malfunction to kill me! I'm the toughest S.O.B. there is!"

Axton looked at her exploded arm.

"How's DT? Is he ok?"

"I...I don't know. I lost contact when... when…"

"It's ok, you don't have to say it."

He gently brushed her hair out of her face and wiped away her tears.

"I-Idiot! I… I've never felt so useless, so helpless! Your dumb ass had to bail me out!"

"Don't be so tough on yourself, Gaige. I'm pretty sure we've never faced a guy who could make our gear explode by touching it."

"Still, I couldn't even protect my new friend, couldn't even protect ME! I'm worthless."

Axton was going to say something else, but he could see she was done talking. He just sat there and hugged her in the rain. After a few moments silence, she spoke again.

"Axton?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're ok."

"Same here."

Meanwhile, the battle between Scar and Major Armstrong continued in the background.

"Who is he?" asked Ed.

"That's Scar. He's the same man who murdered and his daughter." Explained Havoc.

"That's him? That's Scar?!" shouted Ed.

They continued to watch the battle. From watching the two fight, the group realized that Scar is also an alchemist, and just stops at the deconstruction phase.

"What are his reasons for only targeting Alchemists with State Certification?" Wondered Mustang.

(He's unusually coordinated for his size, and that strength combined with his alchemy makes him a tough opponent.) Thought Scar.

"I have you cornered Scar!" Roared Armstrong.

(But there's a moment when his swing is too wide. There it is!) Scar rushed for the weakpoint, only for Armstong to leap back. (What?)

Riza took three shots with a rifle at Scar, with only one round finding its mark from Scar's dodging. The round that hit broke his sunglasses, and caused a small streak of blood to grace his temple.

"Did you get him?" asked Mustang.

"No, I only grazed him with one shot. He's too fast to pin down." Replied Riza.

"Red eyes and brown skin! That means he's.." Said Armstong.

A bolt of inspiration hit Mustang. "Of course, he's an Ishvalan!"

"Perhaps there are too many." Said Scar.

"You might as well give up, Scar. You're not getting away."

Scar transmuted the ground below him, and caused it to collapse.

"Bastard is in the sewers." Said Havoc.

"Stay put." Replied Mustang.

"Sure, don't have to tell me twice."

"Sorry Armstong, but thank you for buying us enough time to surround him."

"Mmm. I was hardly buying time. It was all I could do from being killed."

"Oh? Is it over?"

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, where have you been this whole time?!" Roared Armstong.

"I thought it best to lay low."

"You didn't think of maybe backing us up!?" shouted Mustang.

"Of course not! A person like me shouldn't get dragged into a freak show with a pack of you pseudo-humans! It's bad for my health!" Hughes turned to face the soldiers standing by. "Don't just stand there! Deploy troops! Circulate his description!"

"Yes Sir!"

"Oh no, Alphonse, Alphonse!" Now what they were out of danger, Ed remembered about his brother. He ran over to him.

"Al, talk to me, are you all right?"

"That suit of armor is Edward's younger brother, is it?" Asked Armstrong.

"There's got to be a really long story behind this one." Commented Havoc.

"Come on Al, do you hear me?"

To everyone's shock, Al belted Ed with his right arm.

"Why didn't you run away when we told you to!? What kind of idiot are you!?"

"No way I'm running away and leaving the two of you behind!"

"Which is exactly why you're an idiot!" Al belted Ed again.

"What do you keep punching me like that for? If I had run away he might have killed the both of you!"

Gaige walked over to the scene, leaning on Axton for support.

"And maybe we wouldn't have been! Making the decision to die is something only an idiot does!"

"He's right, Ed, Giving up doesn't accomplish anything. If you think dying was the right solution you really are an idiot!" Gaige sounded like she had realized the same thing herself.

"Hey, easy on the idiot stuff! I'm still you're older brother, and who are you to lecture me Gaige?"

Al leaned over and grabbed Ed by the collar with his right hand.

"I'll say it all I want to! Survival is the only way Ed. Live on, learn more about alchemy! You can find a way to get our bodies back and help people like Nina! I won't allow you to abandon the possibility of hope and choose a meaningless death!"

Al's right arm collapsed and fell into the alley, dropping Ed.

"Oh great! Now my arm's come off because my brother's a big fat idiot!"

"Hmm. All three of us are really falling apart, aren't we? We look like we belong in a junkyard."

"But we're still alive."

"Hm. We are."

"Yeah, and as long as we are we have to keep moving forward, Ed." Said Gaige.

"Good grief, I've stumbled into an extra special kind of freak show, huh? Empty suits of armor and space aliens." Said Hughes.

"Yeah, Sorry." Apologized Mustang.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone upstairs. If this got out, things would get complicated." Replied Hughes.

"Hey Gaige, just what is going on here?" Asked Axton.

"I'll fill you in later." Replied Gaige.

"The older brother aside, I wouldn't know where to begin with the younger brother's body. And explaining the existence of aliens to command?" said Mustang.

"I don't envy you. This is one tough customer you're dealing with." Consoled Hughes.

"And now we know he's Ishvalan."

Mustang walked over to where Axton was standing. The rain had cleared up, revealing a full moon.

"Hey, soldier alien. What's your name?"

"Axton. Is that how you greet all the visitors to your planet?"

He turned to face Mustang, Gaige still hanging on to him with her right arm. Mustang saw the rank insignia on his forehead.

"A Sergeant, huh? I'm Colonel Mustang, Amestris Military. I'm going to have to ask you to surrender your weapon and come with us."

"And what did I do, except try and save my friend, and by the looks of it, your friends?"

"You want to take Axton away from me?! Just when I get my friend back you're going to separate us!?" Gaige howled at Mustang, tears welling up again.

"I'm sorry Gaige, but we need to know what his involvement is with this. Please, come quietly, and hand over your weapons and gear."

"You should know, Colonel, Vault Hunters are pretty protective of their guns, and even more so of their friends." Axton slowly reached for his rifle.

"Please don't make us hurt you. It might make life for your friend here… difficult."

Gaige could see the escalating conflict between the two men was about to turn violent.

"Axton, Stop! I'll be fine. You can trust the Colonel. I… I don't want to lose you again, but I don't want to be on the run either! Just go with him, and get this sorted out. Please."

"…If you say so, Gaige. But I have two conditions."

"You're not really in a position to negotiate, but I'll listen." Responded Mustang.

"First, no-one fires my weapon."

"Fair enough. And the second?"

"Gaige is left alone, or you will have to deal with me. _Personally. _"

A scowl crossed Axton's face that would terrify most lesser men.

"Fine. Your weapon?"

Axton handed over his rifle and other gear to the Colonel.

"I expect those back in pristine condition, Colonel."

"That depends on your involvement on this case. MP's, take him away."

A pair of black clad MP's came up and handcuffed Axton, and led him into a paddy wagon. He looked over his shoulder to a heartbroken Gaige.

"Don't worry babe, I'll be out in no time, one way or another!"

"I hope so. I really do."

Riza tuned the Elrics and Gaige.

"Come on, I'll take you back to the hotel. But umm… What do we do about Al?"

"One suit of armor to go, hold the oil!" Joked Al.

They all couldn't resist Al's attempt to lighten the mood and burst out laughing.

"You really do have a good sense of humor." Said Ed.

Riza got a crate for Al, and two boxes for the smashed arms. The three of them picked up the pieces. Riza drove the three of them back to the hotel, and carried Al back up to the room. When she got there, she bode them goodnight.

"Say, Ed, I've been wondering…"

"Yeah, what is it, Gaige?"

"Where did you get your prosthetic? Seeing as I'm going to need a new one."

"Huh? Didn't you say you built your own? Why not just do that again?"

"I did, but I don't think you guys have the technology to make that one work. But you seemed to get by fine with yours."

"We have a mechanic back in our hometown of Resembool. I'm sure she could make you a new arm." An expression of dread crossed Ed's face.

"What? What is it?"

"When she finds out her arm is trashed, she's going to kill me!"

A sweat drop crossed Gaige's brow.

"Surely she can't be that bad?"

"You've never met her, especially when she's angry!"

"We'll worry about that in the morning. Goodnight Ed, Say goodnight to Al for me too."

"Will do. Goodnight Gaige."

Gaige handed the box that contained her arm to one of the four new guards standing outside their rooms, opened the door, and took the box back. She closed the door, set the box down on the table, and sifted through the wreckage, looking for something. In a few minutes, she had what she was looking for, a small cylinder with the engraving:

"Project DT/ W CLWZ"

The module appeared undamaged, and Gaige breathed a sigh of relief. She pocketed the module, turned off the lights, climbed under the covers of the queen size bed, and tried to sleep. She kept rolling the module around in her fingers until she drifted off.

* * *

_Meanwhile, back at East City Headquarters…_

Mustang was working late again. Between the Scar attack, and the appearance of a new alien, he was pretty busy. Said alien, name of Axton, had been in interrogation for the last 2 hours and had refused to talk. He had decided to go down there himself to see if he could knock some sense into this… "Sergeant".

Mustang walked down to interrogation, and walked into the room with the see though side of the two way mirror. Lt. Hawkeye and 2nd Lieutenants Havoc and Breda were there as well. The clock on the wall read 2350 Hours.

"Has he said anything since your last report?" asked Mustang.

"Nothing new Sir. Just keeps repeating the info on his dog tags, like he was captured as a POW." Reported Havoc.

POW was short for Prisoner of War.

"We all have taken stabs at him, Colonel. We figured maybe he would talk to you since he knows you're in charge." Said Hawkeye.

"Understood. The sooner he talks, the sooner we all can get some rest."

Mustang walked out the door and into the room across the glass. Axton was seated at a metal table, hands cuffed to it.

"So, I hear you've refused to talk, huh?"

"Sergeant Axton, Former Dahl Military. Serial Number 387623GE-4. Crimson Raider Resistance Operative. Codename "The Commando.""

"Yes, yes, you already said that. What is your involvement in the Scar case?"

"Sergeant Axton, Former Dahl Military. Serial Number 387623GE-4. Crimson Raider Resistance Operative. Codename "The Commando.""

"Cut the crap, will you? If you want me to honor our deal you'll talk to me."

Axton gave a slight smile. "So, they finally sent the MFIC to see me."

"MFIC?"

"Never mind."

"I repeat my last question. What's your involvement in the Scar case?"

"Scar? The guy who attacked Gaige and that kid?"

Mustang nodded.

"It was just as you saw. I heard a commotion, ran over, and found Scar about to murder the little kid. Rather than let that happen, I issued a warning shot, ordered him to surrender. He came at me, so I defended myself."

"As we arrived, we saw a gun turret get taken out by Scar. Was that yours?"

Axton remained silent.

"I remind you I can renege on our deal at any time."

Axton glared harshly at him.

"Yes. It was mine."

"How do you deploy them? With these?"

Mustang put one of Axton's turret pods on the table, well out of his reach.

"How did you..?"

"It's not my first time seeing your tech, remember? The Gaige girl had nothing like this on her person. It was simple process of elimination."

"Yes. With those pods. Open one and I'll show you how it works!"

"I'll have to pass on that, thanks."

"Heh. You didn't strike me as the type to fall for that. Alright, why was Gaige with that kid, and why was he after him?"

"…Fine. His name is Scar. He was targeting state Alchemists, and I assigned Gaige to guard Fullmetal. Apparently she wasn't up to the task."

"Why you..!"

Axton struggled against his restraints, determined to punch this smug sonofabitch.

"Now, Sergeant, I suggest you calm down, unless you want a firsthand explanation of what a State Alchemist is."

Mustang snapped and produced a small burning flame over his fingertips.

"Ooh, a lighter. I'm _real_ scared."

Mustang glared at him, and produced a larger ball of flame that filled half the room.

"It's not _that_ impressive." Said Axton indignantly.

"So, why do you have Gaige under your control? And what's with the State Alchemist thing?"

"She committed crimes in this country. I offered her a deal as Fullmetal's bodyguard rather than go to prison." Mustang gave a quick explanation of alchemy, and state certification.

"That still doesn't explain why he was after them."

"I plan to brief them on that tomorrow. If you cooperate, you might get to attend. Now that story time is over, explain to me how you came to my country."

Axton's tale was nearly identical, save that he told the Colonel about the gate, and he saw different things inside.

"When I came to, I was in the city, and none of my friends were nearby. Can I go now? I answered your questions."

"How come we didn't detect you before now?"

"Aww, come on Colonel. Surely you have had training in survival in enemy territory?"

"Do you consider us your enemy?"

"I don't know. But I do know my friends don't subject me to pointless interrogations on subjects I would have told them about if they asked nicely. "

"One more thing. The other friends you mentioned. I'll need a description."

"You planning on arresting them too?"

"Not if they behave themselves. But it seems you people have penchant for finding trouble."

"I won't deny that. Before I tell you I want your guarantee on two things."

"You know, you keep trying to negotiate when you're not in a position to do so."

"Colonel, I don't make deals I can't back up. Trust me on that."

"Fair enough. What do you want?"

"First, if you find them before I do, I want to be notified."

"And the second?"

"You don't take them into custody just for some bullshit like being here illegally."

"It's not exactly like I'm hunting you guys. You just happen to fall into my jurisdiction."

"Your word?"

"Fine. You have it. But I can't speak for what other commanders will do in other sectors."

"First one, Name's Maya. A Siren."

"Siren? What's that?"

"If you could tell her, she'd appreciate it. Blue hair, blue tattoos all down her left arm, yellow combat armor and blue cargo pants. Can crush you in an alternate dimension of her making. But knowing how smart she is, she's probably gone to ground and is wearing something more local by now."

"And your other friends?"

"Zer0 the Assassin. Real tall guy, dressed head to toe in a black bodysuit with a full face helmet."

"Sounds like he'd be easy enough to spot."

"You'd think so, but he's a master of stealth. And given his background I wouldn't be surprised if he was taking jobs the highest bidder of your criminal element."

"An unsavory type, huh? Last one?"

"Salvador the Gunzerker. But… I have reason to believe him deceased."

"Oh, why's that?"

"Remember the digistream I told you about? His got cut off."

"That sounds... bad."

"Yeah. As in he's most likely gone for good."

"You don't seem too shaken up over it."

"I've had a few days to process it. I had to move on to survive."

"Alright, we'll put out a BOLO on them. I'm guessing they won't trust us though. Do you have a code phrase?"

"Long live Roland, May he rest in peace."

"If they turn up, and they have committed no crimes, we'll contact you."

"Thanks. Is that all?"

"You're free to go. But stay close to Gaige and Fullmetal. I may have further questions."

Mustang walked over and un-cuffed Axton. He stood and walked to retrieve his turret pod. Mustang picked it up first.

"Not quite yet. You'll get your stuff back tomorrow." Riza entered the room. "Lieutenant Hawkeye will take you to your friend."

"Fine. It had better be better than I left it!"

Riza escorted Axton to the hotel. Axton tried to chat her up on the car ride over.

"So, what's a beautiful girl such as yourself doing in such a stuffy command? That Colonel guy seems like he doesn't let you off his leash much."

"I'll have you know I'm quite capable with a rifle."

"Baby, please don't misunderstand! I'm all for women in the military! It's just I don't know what you see in that guy."

Riza stayed silent for two, three seconds.

"There is nothing unprofessional between us."

The small pause was enough Axton.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart!"

* * *

By the time Axton got to Gaige's hotel room, it was past 0200 hours. He slowly opened the door, snuck in, and closed it. He walked over to the queen size bed to retrieve a pillow from it. He saw Gaige with her hair down, still in her normal clothes. She looked so cute when she was sleeping. Axton grabbed the pillow and walked over to the couch.

"Ax? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you babe."

"Where are you going?" Gaige felt a panic in her heart again.

"I'm going to crash on the couch. See yah in the morning."

"Wait! You don't have to do that. Come to bed with me."

"Whoa, Whoa! You know I like you and all but-"

"I…I didn't mean it like that! I just want to know I'm not alone. Sleep next to me, just for tonight?"

Axton could see in the faint light that her bleary eyes had been through a lot recently.

"All right. Just for tonight, though. We can't have Maya walking in and killing me, right?"

Gaige smiled at his joke and slid over on the bed. Axton slid off his boots, climbed into the right side of the bed, pulled the covers over him, and laid with his back to Gaige. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, he felt a warm arm come across his chest. Gaige had slid closer to him, hugging him with her remaining arm.

Axton had to control his libido as he felt her chest squish against his back, and felt her breathing and heartbeat.

"Yeah, Maya_ would_ kill me if she found us like this, huh?" Axton whispered to himself.

* * *

Axton awoke to Gaige's alarm on her Echo, set to 0800 hours. He tried to roll over to go back to sleep, but found himself unable to move. He felt a weight on his back. He moved an arm to feel what it was, and felt his hand go squish. "Squish? The hell?" Axton's groggy mind wasn't quite making connections yet. He squeezed twice more, trying to figure out what the offending object was.

"Mrgh. Make me waffles daddy... He he, that tickles!"

Oh. Now he remembered. Gaige had slept in the same bed as him last night. Axton quickly removed his hand, realizing he was grabbing Gaige's butt.

"I hate to disturb your dreaming there, but would you mind getting off my back? I can't breathe!"

"Mhru? Ax..ton?"

Gaige slowly came awake to see why her bed was so warm. She pushed herself up to see herself straddling Axton. It took her a second to process the scene.

"OhmygodI'msosorry!"

She leapt off of him to the other side of the bed, face turning as red as her hair.

"I can think of worse ways to wake up, but that one's a bit hard on the spine." teased Axton lightly.

"I swear I didn't mean to!" The red in her face only deepened.

"Hey, I'm not complaining. It was an accident right?"

That did little to control Gaige's flushing.

"Just get out of bed so I can shower! There's a breakfast buffet downstairs."

Axton was going to tease her more, but he'd never seen her so embarrassed about being alone with him.

"What about my shower then? I still smell like Pandora, and you smell like roses." He couldn't resist one last dig.

"Jus- Just get out of here you stupid jerk!" Gaige threw a pillow at him and had a blanket clutched to her chest.

"Yes Ma'am!" Axton grabbed his boots, put them on and headed to breakfast.

Gaige sighed, and felt her face was still red, and her heart still racing. That position was dangerous. She got ready for her shower and saw to her surprise that it had a detachable hose style shower head. An idea popped into Gaige's head, one she couldn't ignore.

* * *

Axton made his way down to the restaurant, where they were serving continental breakfast. He picked up some pastry and fruit, and gladly grabbed some bacon. He went to sit at a table by himself, when he spotted the blonde haired kid that was with Gaige struggling to manage without an arm. He set his food down and went over to see if he could help.

"Need a hand there, sport?"

"I'm fine, thanks." His tone was rather harsh.

(Not the best choice of words, Axton.) He chided himself.

"I hear you and Gaige are getting along."

"Slowly."

"Name's Axton."

He extended his left hand for a handshake. Ed stared at it for a second before returning the gesture.

"Edward Elric. It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise. I heard your being grouped together wasn't your idea?"

"Hardly. At first it seemed like her ideals couldn't be more opposite of mine."

They walked over to Axton's table, with him winding up carrying some of Ed's food despite his objections.

"But the more I talked to her, the more I realized she just had to grow up fast. I mean she's only three years older than me. Al and I didn't have much of a childhood."

Axton raised an eyebrow at this. "Only three?"

"You trying to call me short? Go on, try it!"

"No no. I'm just curious, that's all." Note to self. Napoleon complex. Be sure to exploit later.

"Really, I should apologize to her. I've kinda treated her like crap because of some stuff I had going on. Despite that she was willing to throw down her life for me when she doesn't even know me that well and was only ordered to protect me to save herself. Even when it was past hope she didn't abandon me. I can't say most people would do the same."

"Yeah, she's determined like that. Loyal to a fault. It's hard for her to make friends, but once she does, she doesn't let go."

"Hm. Are you saying she's stubborn?"

"She can be, yeah."

"I guess she is like a certain blonde haired alchemist I know then."

Ed gave a small smile and bit into his toast. Axton started eating as well. Half an hour later they finished and went back to their rooms.

"It was nice to meet you, Ed. You're pretty grown up for a kid."

"Thanks. You're not so bad for an adult."

"I try to keep my youth in touch. Though it seems further behind me all the time."

Ed went into his room, and Axton knocked on the door.

"Gaige? You ready? Breakfast will close soon, you better hurry!"

"Coming!"

Gaige unlocked the door and cracked it open, and saw Axton standing there. She was wrapped in a towel.

"You just now got out of the shower?"

"I... I didn't really get to enjoy my last one, so I kinda soaked. Give me a second to get dressed!"

Her cheeks were flushed red. Still or again Axton couldn't determine.

In 5 more minutes Gaige was out and dressed, lacking her signature pigtails as her hose clamps had been destroyed. That was something Axton intended to fix later.

"I hope you left some hot water for me. I don't even remember my last shower."

"Psh. It's a hotel. It's not like I could deplete it."

"Get going or you'll miss breakfast!"

"Right!"

Axton got in the shower, and felt weeks of Pandora melt off him. Being stranded in the middle of nowhere sucked, but at least it was a civilized planet.

* * *

At 1000 hours, Riza came by to pick up the Elrics and the Vault Hunters. By 1040 hours they were at Eastern Command.

"Sergeant Axton, if you will follow me we will retrieve your gear." Said Hawkeye.

"Please, the military feels like a lifetime ago. Just Axton will do."

"As for you Elrics, the Colonel has a briefing set up for noon. Do what you will until then, but don't be late."

"Yes ma'am. Another boring hour looking at the wonders of Eastern Command. Though can you have Al... delivered there?"

Al was still in his box until Ed could repair him.

"Of course. I'll assign someone to that."

"It's not fun being treated like a piece of freight you know!"

"Sorry Al, it's just until I get my arm back."

"And what should I do, Lt Hawkeye?" asked Gaige

"You can come with us. The Elrics should be safe here.

"Ok."

Gaige seemed to be closer to her normal self, Axton noted. Still not normal entirely, he knew. The loss of her arm and DT had to affect her. Riza walked them down towards evidence, passing the firing range on the way. Several shots rang out.

"That's odd. There's usually no-one at the firing range this early. Mind If I check this out?" asked Riza.

"Fine with us. Right Gaige?" Gaige nodded.

"Will you hurry up? We're going to get caught!"

"Relax, will yah? No one comes here this early. Besides, who wouldn't want to try an alien gun?"

Now what they were inside the room, Axton could make out the sound of the gun being fired.

"Oh, that had better NOT be the gun I think it is."

The three of them hurried to the firing lane where the shots were fired from.

"This thing is amazing! It fires 9 rounds for every burst. Talk about power!" Said 2nd Lieutenant Havoc.

"Umm. Jean?" Said 2nd Lt Breda.

"What is it? Can't you see I'm trying to shoot?"

"B..Behind you."

"Huh?"

Behind Havoc was an extremely pissed looking 1st Lieutenant Hawkeye.

"The Colonel left explicit orders that the weapon was to be left alone and under guard!"

"H..Hey Hawkeye. How's it going?" Said Havoc. Breda was cowering behind him.

"I don't know if I should punish you two or let the Colonel do it. Or maybe…" A psychotic smirk crossed her face. "…I'll just let HIM deal with you two."

"Him" was an Axton that suddenly seemed 8 feet tall, able to breathe fire out his nose, and had claws like eagle's talons.

"Nobody. NOBODY TOUCHES MY GUNS UNLESS I SAY SO."

"We're sorry! We just wanted to try it! Please don't kill us!" pleaded Havoc.

Axton beckoned each man towards him. Each approached out of fear more than anything else. He gave both of them one good right cross.

"My weapon?" Havoc handed it over with no hesitation. Axton inspected it for damage, and found none.

"Hmm. She seems ok. Be glad she's not scratched or it would have been much worse."

Axton stormed out of the shooting range, Gaige in tow.

"Remind me never to piss off those aliens again." Said Havoc.

"Now boys, if you don't like having your ugly mugs scarred, I'd suggest doing exactly that. I'll let you off easy and let that be your punishment." Riza walked off to follow Axton.

"I'm sorry about those two. They're good soldiers but sometimes they do something stupid like that." Apologized Riza.

"Are you ok, baby? Those brutes didn't hurt yah, did they?" Axton cradled his gun, making sure that it was fine.

"Oh great. He's talking to his guns again." Gaige rolled her eyes.

"Hey, you're the one who names 'em and treats 'em like favorite toys!"

"T-That was just the one time!"

"Uh huh. At last count, we had George, Moe, Larry, Curly…"

"Shut up!" Gaige gave Ax a good punch in the ribs.

"… You guys are a strange bunch." Was all that Hawkeye could think to say.

In a few more minutes they had reached evidence, and retrieved Axton's gear.

"Hey Axton, is your SDU on the fritz too?"

"Yeah. I can only access my first gun slot, ammo, and currency. Same with you, I take it?"

Gaige nodded. "I don't have the parts I need to fix them."

"Ms Hawkeye, is it possible I could borrow a weapon from the military? I lost mine in the fight with Scar, and if I'm going to guard Ed I'll need one."

"I'm pretty sure the military would frown on me issuing a weapon to a civilian, especially since officially speaking you're an illegal alien to this country."

"Oh. I see."

"But…" Riza dropped a holstered pistol on the floor.

"I'm pretty sure I just lost one of my favorite guns. I'm sure it will turn up in a few weeks, but I wouldn't be responsible for what happened with it in the meantime."

Gaige quickly caught on, and picked up the weapon off the floor and added it to her SDU, in replacement of the gun she lost.

"Thanks, Lieutenant."

"Don't mention it. Scar got the drop on you last time but I'm sure it won't happen again, right?"

Gaige gave her a smile. "Right!"

"And when your SDU gets fixed, that pistol will turn up. I would hate for anything bad to happen to it though, I'm almost as protective of my weapons as your friend here."

"Understood. It will be taken care of while it's "lost"."

"Good! As soon as the meeting is over I will have to file a loss of weapon report. Until then, we had better get over there, it's nearly time."

At 1200 hours sharp, Mustang and his staff, Major Armstrong, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, the Elrics and the Vault hunters assembled in Mustang's office for the briefing.

Colonel Mustang spoke up from his desk. The briefing was mostly for the benefit of the Elrics and the Vault Hunters.

"The Ishvalans were a race of people who lived to the east of us. They believed that their god, Ishvala, was the one absolute creator. Even after they were annexed into the country, there were still conflicts between us and them. Then, 13 years ago, a military officer accidentally shot and killed an Ishvalan child. And that lead to a full blown civil war. One uprising lead to another and before long, the rebellion had spread to the whole eastern sector. After 7 years of this, an order came down from the military high command. To exterminate Ishval. Many State Alchemists were brought in to act as human weapons. Needless to say, the State Alchemists produced striking results. That man, Scar, is an Ishvalan survivor. In a sense, his revenge is justified."

Ed gritted his teeth. "No way! There's no justification for taking revenge on people who had nothing to do with it! He's just dressing his lust for vengeance in the mantle of his god and calling himself an agent of justice!"

"I'm with the kid on this one. The religious crazies are always the worst. They never know when to give up. They caused my unit many a headache back in the day." Said Axton.

"Still, the fact is, he's coming at us with full force. We can't let ourselves be killed for his cause. Next time there will be no more talk. Got it?"

The Amestris military group replied "Yes Sir!"

"No complaints from us, right Gaige?" said Axton.

"Yeah! I owe that bastard a prolonged electrocution!"

"As for you, Axton. Your cover will be that you served during Ishval, but quit to seek your fortunes as a mercenary afterwards. The military hired you as extra security for its State Alchemists. Sound good?" said Mustang.

"That's not far from the truth, really. I'm assuming there's a catch to my freedom, however?"

"Smart man. If you cause too much trouble, we drop the act, and you're dealt with as an illegal alien. I don't need to tell you that would make staying close to your friend difficult."

"Understood. Dog, leash. Woof."

"So Elrics, what are you and the Vault Hunters going to do now?" Asked Lt. Colonel Hughes.

"We're going to keep moving. We can't just sit around, not as long as we're still alive."

"Brother!"

"That's the spirit, Ed!" said Gaige.

"Before we can make any progress on getting your body back, we have to get my arm back to normal. And I think one of our new bodyguards could use a new appendage as well."

"That would help, considering I can only use a pistol right now."

"Yeah. I do want you to have more firepower than that. We've got no choice! It's been a long time, but we need to pay a visit to our mechanic. "

"Ed brings up a good point. While Gaige and Ed are incapacitated, I doubt that Axton will be able to protect all of you alone." Said Mustang.

"As much as I would like to refute you Colonel, I do think some extra support is warranted here. I've never fought a guy who could blow apart my guns and turrets before yesterday. Someone with more expertise in the field would be appreciated."

"That settles it. Major Armstrong, I'm assigning you to Fullmetal's protection detail until further notice."

"Yes, Sir!"

"Hey Mustang, Is it just me or is this detail getting pretty big?" whined Ed.

"It's just until the three of you are back in fighting form, Fullmetal. Major Armstrong, escort everyone to the station please."

"Yes, Colonel."

Armstrong checked out a truck, loaded everyone inside and drove to the station. The major bought tickets for everyone.

"Umm, Ed, no one mentioned we were going to a _train_ station." Frowned Gaige.

"Why, what's wrong with the train?"

"It's just that… the Vault Hunters have bad karma with trains. There was the one that Jack trapped and blew up with us still inside."

"Then the one we blew up for the Vault Key." Added Axton.

"Oh, and that one I blew up for the cash inside it. Extra bad train karma on that one." Commented Gaige.

"And the one in Lynchwood Brick had us blow up to stop the eridium shipments."

"Nearly forgot that one."

"It seems like you guys were doing most of the exploding." Commented Ed.

"Yeah, all the more reason we have bad karma with trains!" exclaimed Axton.

"You guys picked an odd time to get superstitious on me." Sighed Ed.

"Occupational hazard. You learn pattern recognition or you die."

Armstong returned with the tickets, and arranged for Al to be loaded.

"Shall we go then? All this train karma talk is getting stupid."

"Sorry, Ed. It's just one of those things with us, you know?" said Gaige.

They took their seats on the train, and were waiting for it to pull out of the station when Ed heard a knock on the window.

"Hey."

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes?"

"The folks back at Eastern Command center were too busy to come see you. Mustang gave them new assignments as soon as you guys left. So I came to see you off instead."

"Thanks, Hughes."

"And you Vault Hunters, take care of them for me, ok?"

"Will do, Lt. Colonel." Promised Axton.

"Sure thing! I don't plan on letting him down." smiled Gaige.

"Are you sure Al made it on the train ok, Major?" Asked Ed.

"I'm sure. I had him loaded in the sheep car. I thought he might get lonely."

"MY BROTHER ISNT SOME KIND OF FARM ANIMAL!"

The station's bell rung and the train started to move forward.

"Oh, it's time. All of you have a safe trip. Stop in and see me the next time you make it to Central!" Lt. Colonel Hughes saluted. All four of the group returned it.

The train pulled off into the afternoon sun.

* * *

**Authors Notes: I pulled a lot of verbatim dialogue from the episode on this one. I don't plan to do this a lot, but a lot of what is said here is plot important in the overall FMA storyline, so I felt I needed to do it. It might show up when a complex or extremely important plot element shows up from the FMA verse, though I don't like doing it as it's cheap and boring to write.  
**

**Also, Gaige/Axton shiptease ahoy! Did I handle that well? I thought Gaige being young and inexperienced with attraction, having her act "tsun" would work. If you think that's too out of character, let me know. Also, I think that Axton and Mustang have a sort of similar personality, which is why they clash IMO.**

**EDITED 7/31: Toned down the language that Axton uses when reuniting with Gaige to be more in line with later chapters, now that I know what tone I'm going for in their relationship. **


	7. Chapter 7: The Pretty Good Train Robbery

"So, Ed, how long does it take to get to Resembool?" inquired Gaige.

"About 2 days, why?"

"Mostly just curiosity. But it's good that it will take so long."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, with everything being so hectic, I barely got a chance to talk to Axton. And I would like to get to know you better as well."

"Oh, I see how it is. You want to chat up your boyfriend before your poor charge. I see how it is."

"Axton isn't my.. I mean! He's not my boyfriend! It's strictly platonic!"

"Right."

"Oh what do you know?"

"Hmm, young love is so beautiful, wouldn't you agree Edward?!"

Armstrong had stripped off his shirt and flexed his muscles as he said this.

"Did he have to strip to say that?" Asked Gaige.

"No. He didn't."

Armstrong replaced his shirt and sat back down. Gaige, Armstong, Ed, and Axton were sitting in a four person section of benches, two on either side facing each other. Ed and Armstrong had the window seats. Axton returned from getting food for the group.

Axton bit into a sandwich that he had gotten from the food cart.

"Man, this isn't that good, but it's still a lot better than anything on Pandora."

"I know right? It's making me nostalgic for food that wasn't shot the day before." Added Gaige as she bit into a stale cookie.

"Is food really that hard to come by on your world?" asked Armstrong.

"It's not so bad in Sanctuary, but out in the wastes its whatever you can hunt. And the local wildlife is… gamey at best." Replied Axton.

"And stomach turning at worst!" added Gaige, her expression recoiling at the memory of a meal best forgotten.

"If Pandora is so terrible, why live there? I know you said you were a fugitive Gaige, but what's your story Axton?" asked Ed.

"Got kicked out of the military. A border world like Pandora is the only place the Dahl Corporation wouldn't follow me."

"But you were kicked out?" added Ed, confused.

"Kid, the only way you leave the Dahl military is in a body bag or a wheelchair. The only difference is when."

"Sounds brutal. Why join a group like that?"

"See the galaxy, fight dangerous monsters and people, get paid, and a bunch of other crap the recruiter told me. Heh, that was over 10 years ago now."

"I see." Ed didn't know what to make of that.

"So, Major Armstong, did you serve in that Ishval war the Colonel was talking about?"

"Yes. Those are not happy memories."

"Was it as bad as he say it was? A full on genocide?"

"Indeed it was."

"Damn. My unit did shady things, but never a full on genocide. Though there were rumors about some of the other units."

"It seems both our militaries are capable of great atrocities."

"Tell me about it. War is hell, and all that, right?"

"Mmm. That's why after Ishval I resolved not to kill unless absolutely necessary."

"That's pretty noble of you. Though I sadly don't have the same luxury. Bullets are kinda fatal no matter how good a shot you are. People tend to bleed out even if you try not to kill em."

Armstong looked uncomfortable with where the conversation was going. He changed the subject.

"So, how did a lovely young lady such as you come to this world? I have heard the short version but I'd like to hear the full tale."

"It's… not something that I like to talk about. Axton, would you mind doing the honors?"

"I don't mind."

Axton related the events that had lead them to this point, briefly going over the story of Handsome Jack's takeover of Pandora. When he got to the digistream, however, he saw Gaige's eyes recoil in horror.

"So, we were going though the digistream, blackness closing in on us, when out of no-where, we see this huge stone gate, with a tree inscription on it. It opens up, and this giant sideways eye appears, and sends these damn tentacle hands after us. Weirdest thing I ever saw. So we…"

Ed, who had only been half listening till this point as he had heard this before, suddenly snapped alert.

"We get dragged into this gate, and the strangest thing happens. I start seeing all these army buddies I haven't seen for years. Battles that had to have been 6,7 years ago. Me meeting my Ex-wife. Then I see Gaige, Sal, Maya, and Zer0. Before I know it, it feels like the entire universe is pouring into my skull. Felt like my head was going to explode."

"You… you saw it?!"

"Saw what, Ed?"

"You saw the Gate of Truth?!"

"Is that what it's called?"

"That's not possible. You guys aren't alchemists! Wha… what happened next?"

"Well, just as I thought my brain was going to burst, it stopped. But I checked six and saw Sal's light get taken apart by those hands."

"…I see."

"What's wrong Ed?" asked Gaige.

"I have good news and bad news."

"Ok, spill it!" urged Axton.

"The good news is that Salvador's not dead."

"Wha..? That's great news!" cheered Gaige.

"Don't get too excited. The bad news is… Truth has him."

"…Truth?"

* * *

Salvador got up off the floor. His head really hurt, and all he could see was whiteness.

"Urgh. Did I drink too much Rakk Ale with Senor Mordecai again?"

No, he could remember everything clearly, like the fast travel about to be blown up.

"Where am I…?"

"What a good question!"

A white silhouette figure appeared in front of him. It had a black smokey outline and no features on its face. Suddenly the Rakk Ale theory seemed more likely.

"Who.. Are you?"

"Oh, I'm so glad you asked!" The white figure looked ecstatic to hear Sal say that. Just what the heck was going on…?

"I am called by many names. I'm the world. I'm the universe. I'm God. I am Truth. I am all. I am one. And I am also… You."

"You're.. Me? You're not me! I'm me! I'm Salvador!"

"Oh dear, It appears my new toll is a bit dense. Oh well, nothing I can do about that now."

"So, uh, what am I doing here?"

"A good question. See, you both do and don't belong here. On the one hand, you and your friends shouldn't have been able to come to this world. So you don't belong here. But, in order to get to this world, you have to travel though the gate. So you do belong here in that sense."

"Uhhh. What?"

"*sigh* It's worse than I feared."

"Look, I just want to go home. Can I go now?"

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that. See, you are the toll. That, and it gets boring here. I only have that kid to play with, and he's no fun without his soul."

Sal turned to his right to see a naked kid, looking rather weak.

"I don't suppose you guys have anything to eat around here?"

The kid glared at him harshly.

"I guess that was a stupid question. So…. Now what?"

"How about a nice game of Rummy?" asked the white figure.

* * *

"What do you mean, Truth has him?" asked Axton.

"When Alchemists commit a taboo, it opens the Gate of Truth. You gain incredible amounts of knowledge, but the cost is a part of your body is taken away. Al lost his entire body, and I lost my left leg when we tried to bring our mom back to life. The entity that guards that gate is sometimes called Truth. I don't know why you guys saw the gate, you're not alchemists. But I have no doubt that Truth took your friend as a toll for what you guys saw in the Gate."

Ed looked solemn and contemplative.

"So… how do we get him out?" Asked Gaige.

"That's what I and Al have been asking for the past three years. If we figure out how to get Al's body back, we can get your friend back as well.

"So there's hope, just a slim one?" Asked Axton.

"Yeah, and you just have to keep moving forward, just keep trying."

Axton and Gaige looked to each other and nodded.

"If you won't give up, neither will we." Said Gaige.

Ed stiffened up, a fire in his eyes.

"Then, I want to make a pact with you guys. You watch mine and Al's backs. In return, when we figure out how to get Al's body back, we'll get Sal back as well!"

"Hell, that sounds like a deal I can abide by. Can you abide that Gaige?" asked Axton.

"Damn sure I can! So just keep moving forward Ed, because we have your back covered!" Beamed Gaige.

She stuck her remaining arm out, and Axton put his hand on top of hers. Ed joined in with his last arm.

"Then the bond is struck. Don't chicken out on me half way now!" Grinned Ed.

"Please, when have the Vault Hunters ever run from anything, right Ax?"

"You bet your ass we see things through." Axton had a cocky smile on his face.

*sniff* "The beginning of a new friendship is always so beautiful!" Armstong his shirt off, and was crying fountains.

"…That guy had to ruin it, huh?" said Axton, Face palming.

"Oh, and one more thing. Gaige, apologies don't come easy for me.. But I… I want to say I'm sorry for asking like a jerk. I should have been more supportive of you, but I just wanted you gone."

"Don't worry about it. Anyone would be hard to approach after what you went through."

"Thanks."

They talked about this and that for awhile, then Gaige started filling in Axton on all the details of her adventures so far. It was getting to be late in the evening and Ed had nodded off.

"You're joking. They try to rape you, as soon as you get here?"

"I know right! At least let me get my composure back first!"

"I'm assuming our mutual good friend Deathtrap taught them some etiquette."

Gaige smiled. "You know it."

She told him about the events at the warehouse and its aftermath. Axton frowned, but was still happy.

"That was pretty badass. How were those soldiers?"

"Psh. Weaksauce. No shields, totally pathetic guns, barley even a grenade in the bunch."

"I kinda figured that from the guns I saw at HQ. But the colonel was right about one thing, charging off like that in unknown territory was dumb."

"I.. I know that now. I was just so upset…"

"Hey, I'm not here to judge you. That's in the past now. Though I do have one question."

"What's that, Ax?"

"Why didn't you use the local radio stations to boost your Echo's range?"

Gaige looked like she had been blindsided by an 18 wheeler.

"…I'm such an idiot! Why didn't I think of that?!"

"Hey, don't beat yourself up too much, you were in rough shape."

"Does that mean you were broadcasting?"

"Yup! Every two hours that I was awake, AM 104.36 was Radio Axton!"

"I'm such a dumbass!"

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm the one with the survival training, not you."

"Speaking of, where were you before you showed up?"

"I was running a search grid, looking for any signs of you guys or your Echo signal. I was doing that when I heard you fighting Scar."

"I see. Let me guess. Your survival training had you, uh, "living off the land?""

"Don't say it in such an accusing tone! I did what I had to. If that meant a merchant lost an apple or two, so be it!"

"Hey, I'm just teasing. I'm just really glad you're safe, Ax."

"Same here, Gaige."

Both of them smiled at each other.

"We best get some shuteye, got to guard Ed tomorrow, right?" said Gaige.

They looked over at the sleeping Alchemist with a small smile.

"He's only 15, but he seems so much older."

"Yeah. Goodnight, Ax."

"Goodnight, sweetcheeks."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

Gaige awoke the next morning to find the stewardesses serving breakfast. She gladly devoured powdered eggs and toast as if it were a meal at a 5 star restaurant, and washed it down with acrid coffee. Axton and the major took sausage and bagels with a side of oranges. Al was still asleep, so Gaige saved him a donut and an apple. After breakfast service, Gaige felt the train slowing down.

"Major, why are we stopping?"

"This isn't an express line; there are stops to several villages along the route."

"I see."

Al had woken up and was munching on the apple Gaige had saved for him. As they pulled into the station, Armstrong saw a familiar face out the window.

"Dr. Marcoh! That is you, isn't it?! It's me, Alex Louis Armstrong from Central!"

turned around, and stared at the train where the voice had come from, then ran off in a panic.

"Friend of yours, Major?" asked Ed.

"He's from Central, a talented state alchemist. He was researching into possible medical applications of alchemy. But after the Ishvalan Civil War, he went missing, just disappeared."

"Let's go, Major. A guy like this could know some useful things about bio alchemy."

"Hey, Ed, Wait for us!" called Gaige.

They disembarked the train, and Armstrong retrieved Al from storage. They went to searching the town for Marcoh.

"Excuse me, have you seen this man?"Asked Armstrong to a Townsperson, holding up a sketch.

"That looks like Dr. Morroh to me."

"Wow major, you can really draw." Added Axton.

"The art of portraiture has been passed down the Armstrong family line for generations!"

"This Morroh guy, what's he to you guys?" Asked Gaige.

"He's our town's doctor. He came here after all our doctors were drafted in the war. He lives up on the hill over there if you want to meet him!" The man pointed out a house.

"Thanks, you've been a big help!" said Ed, and ran up to the house.

"Yo, Ed, Wait up!" called Gaige

A short run later, the four of them arrived at the house and climbed the steps. Ed pulled on the door.

"Um, hello?"

A gun appeared in the doorway and Ed barley dodged the shot in time.

Gaige and Axton reflexively drew their weapons.

"Wait, don't shoot!" Cried the Major.

"All right, who are you guys, and what do you want?! Have you come to take me back?" Marcoh kept waiving the revolver between the girl and the man with the guns aimed at him.

"Please, Doctor, calm down!" pleaded the Major.

"I don't want to go back, anything but that!" Marcoh's hands were shaking on the gun.

"Nothing like that, please listen!"

"Then you're here to silence me then! That's what those two are for then, huh?" Marcoh waived his gun at Gaige and Axton.

"I'll ask you one more time, please calm down!" Armstong threw the crate containing Al at Marcoh. Axton quickly seized his weapon that had been flung from his hand.

After a few minutes, they managed to calm him down and sat at a table together.

"So, you changed your name, and decided to live way out here in the countryside. If the rumors are true, you took top secret documents with you when you left. What possessed you to do it?" asked Armstrong.

"I couldn't handle it anymore. Order or no order, to have to dirty my hands researching that "Thing" was too much."

"The philosopher's stone."

All the alchemists in the room gasped.

"Philoso…What?" asked Axton.

"The Philosopher's stone. Alchemy is a powerful art, but it is not all powerful. But with the stone, it is said you can ignore those limits. We were searching for it in order to get our bodies back. " Explained Ed.

"The top secret materials I took were my research notes, and the stone itself."

"You have the stone?! It's here?!" exclaimed Ed.

Marcoh took out a vial from his jacket pocket, and poured the red contents out on the table. It gelled into a ball.

"How is that the stone?" Asked Ed.

"Just as the stone has many names, it has many forms. This is an incomplete product, however."

"It's just like the stone the false priest had in Liore. Even though it was a fake, it still amplified his powers immensely. If incomplete stones that powerful can be produced, who's to say a finished product can't be made? Doctor, I need to see your research notes!"

"Major, who exactly is this kid? And the girl and the soldier?"

"He's a state alchemist, and those two are his bodyguards."

"Him? But he's a child! And what kind of child needs bodyguards!? After the war, many state alchemists turned in their certifications' because they refused to be human weapons anymore. But now a child?"

"You think I don't know what I've signed up for? I know what I'm doing! If this is a mistake, then it's a mistake I have to make! There is no other way!"

After a brief explanation they continued talking.

"I see. So you've committed the taboo. Amazing, the ability to transmute a specific person's soul like this. Perhaps someone as talented as you could produce a complete philosopher's stone..."

"So...?"

"But I can't show you my research notes."

"Why not? Not even if it's to get our bodies back?"

"And to recover our friend!" pleaded Gaige.

"You must not seek after the stone! It's the Devil's research! If you seek the stone you will go through hell!"

"I've already been through hell!"Shouted Ed.

"Please. Please just leave."

The five of them walked back to the train station downtrodden.

"Are you sure it's ok to leave like this, Ed? We need that intel, right? I could beat it out of him if you want me to." Asked Axton.

"No. I don't want to get our bodies back at the cost of others."

"And Sal?"

"Don't worry, we'll find a way. I promise."

Axton shrugged. "You're the alchemist."

They made their way back to the train, and waited for it to arrive. Just as they were about to board, a voice stopped them.

"Wait!"

"Dr. Marcoh?" asked Ed.

"This is where my materials are. If you're sure you won't regret learning the truth, start looking here. Look closely, maybe you'll find the truth hidden within the truth. But, I've said too much already."

Marcoh handed Ed a note, then walked away.

"Well that was weird. Wonder why he changed his mind?" asked Gaige.

"Dunno, but glad he did." Said Axton.

They boarded the train, and resumed the trip to Resembool. Al was with them in the passenger compartment on the floor this time.

"So brother, what does the note say?"

"National Central Library, 1st Branch."

"I get it. Like hiding a tree in the forest. Finding one book in that giant library will be quite a challenge indeed." said Armstrong.

"Finally another clue about the stone."

Suddenly, the entire train lurched to the side.

* * *

"What was that!?"

Dr. Marcoh returned home to find a strange woman waiting for him.

"I've been looking for you, Marcoh."

* * *

The train had been shunted to a different line at high speed.

"Something's wrong here guys! This isn't the line to Resembool!" Cried Ed.

"What? What's going on then?!" Asked Gaige.

"I don't know, but it's probably not good!"

The train was rapidly approaching a valley ringed by grassy hills. As they entered the valley, an explosion thundered through the valley, causing a rockslide onto the tracks. The conductor was forced to slam on the brakes to avoid a derailment.

The passengers in the cars screamed, and were flung forward. Another explosion rung out, and a second rockslide occurred behind the train.

"Is everyone all right?!" called Armstrong.

"Oww, I think Al landed on me" called Gaige

"I'm really sorry Gaige! I can't move right now! Are you ok?"

"Yeah, but could you get someone to get you off of me!?"

Axton obliged, and lifted Al to the side.

"Thanks. You ok?"

"Fine. How about you Ed?"

"Oh, I'm just peachy. What happened?"

"In my professional opinion, this is an ambush. Or more specific, a train jacking."

"That's just great. We can't get a moment's peace around here, huh? So, now what?"

"Gaige, stay with Ed. Armstrong, would you mind checking the cars?"

Armstrong nodded.

"And what are you gonna do Axton?"Asked Gaige.

"I'm going to go greet the welcoming committee we're sure to have."

With that, he opened the window and jumped out.

"Ax, Wait!"

"Let him go. He's right; you and the Elrics should stay here. You're the only one who can protect them right now. You're armed, correct?" said Armstrong.

Gaige drew Riza's pistol and showed the Major.

"Then it is your sworn duty to guard them, right?"

Gaige snapped to attention.

"Yes, Sir!"

"Good. I'll be back shortly. Everyone! May I have your attention please! I am a State Alchemist with the military! Please make your way outside the train! There is an emergency, and you need to evacuate!" Armstrong shouted this to the crowd.

The civilians panicked and fled the train car. After the last of them had left, Armstrong went through the door to the next car, and sealed the door behind him with alchemy.

"So, that's it, huh? I'm useless to help." Moped Ed.

"I'm not exactly brimming with confidence myself. Unlike you, I've never been without an arm for more than a few minutes. And I don't have deathtrap, and my only gun is this peashooter I had to borrow from the Lieutenant." Gaige tried to force herself to smile.

"But! I'm not going to fail you again! I will protect you and your brother!"

"That's the spirit, Gaige!" encouraged Al.

"Thanks. I know you will." Smiled Ed.

* * *

Axton rushed up the nearest hill to get a grasp on the situation. He saw soldiers in blue uniforms like Armstrong's swarming the train. He zoomed in on one with his rifle, and saw a red arm band, and saw the same on the other soldiers.

"The rebels Gaige was talking about?"

They were rapidly approaching the train in droves. If he didn't do something, they would overwhelm the train, and there would be no telling how many civilian casualties there would be.

"Wake up, babes. It's time to go to work again!"

Axton deployed his turrets, one on the far hill, and one near himself. The turrets started ripping up the unarmored soldiers, and Axton took aim at the nearest unengaged Hostile and opened fire.

Armstrong went though the cars, repeating his warning and trying to get as many people clear as possible. As he cleared one, a stone fist came flying through the window, and knocked him out the other side.

"That was some punch. Who are you?"

"Ey, they call me the Rocky Alchemist. I'm known for my left cross!"

A 6 foot, black haired main stood before Armstrong. He had a pair of stone gloves over his hands, likely created with alchemy. He took a swing ant Armstrong, who dodged it easily.

"Not bad, you're fast for your size!"

"So, you want a duel then? You shall have a demonstration of the technique that has been passed down the Armstrong lien for generations then!"

He removed his shirt, flexed his muscles, and prepared a fighting stance.

* * *

Gaige, Al, and Ed were stuck waiting in the train car, with nothing to do. Gaige couldn't go fight, as she had to guard the Elrics. The Elrics were in no shape for a fight either.

"So, what do we do, Gaige? Just wait it out?" Asked Ed.

"As much as I hate doing that, that's the best plan. If I still had my arm I could do more… I guess we both could, huh?"

"Yeah. They couldn't have waited a day, huh? Then we would have had our limbs back!"

"Heh, I know right?"

Gaige was sitting facing the rear door, with Ed in the seat across from her. She suddenly saw movement through the window of the door. A man. He opened the door, and Gaige saw the distinctive red armband. A rifle pointed through the door.

"EDWARD, GET DOWN!"

Ed was shocked, but did what he was told and dove for the floor. The rebel stared to aim for Ed, when Gaige opened fire. Her aim was true, and five red spots appeared in the man's chest. He collapsed backwards, dead.

Gaige kept her weapon pointed on him, making sure he was really dead with another round to the head. She holstered her pistol in her SDU, and took the gun away from the man, like Axton had trained her to.

"Is…is he dead?" Asked Ed.

"Yes. You probably hate me now, huh?" Gaige hung her head, and her bangs covered her eyes.

"No. You saved my life. If you hadn't acted I would have been dead. Thank you."

"Sure. Let's get going. This place isn't safe anymore."

"What about Al though? We can't carry him."

"He'll be fine as long as he doesn't move. The soldiers will just think him a suit of armor."

"What are you saying?! I can't abandon Al!"

"Brother, its ok. Gaige is right. I'll be fine; you need to get to safety."

"..All right, if you say so Al. Let's go Gaige!"

"Right. Check the body; he might have a pistol you can use."

"…I'm not big on guns."

"This is life or death, Ed! Look, if you want, I'll do the shooting but you still need a way to defend yourself!"

"…Fine."

Ed searched the body, and sure enough, found a pistol. He put it in his waistband. Ed and Gaige headed for the door.

"Stay safe, Al. No moving!" called Gaige.

"It's not like I can leave this box!" cried Al.

* * *

Axton was making short work of the rebels outside. He had attracted their attention, and most of them were swarming him now. It was kind of hard to ignore a man that was slaughtering most of your comrades with ease.

The rebels poured fire from their rifles at Axton, but The Sham absorbed all the rounds without taking any damage to the shield.

"Come on, you'll have to do better than that! Gaige was right, you guys are weak sauce!"

Axton felt a new volley of fire hit the shield from behind. At least 20 men had taken positions on the ridge behind him, and were giving everything they had to try to kill them.

"That's not good enough!"

Axton charged up the hill, and closed to within 50 meters. He gave each man a burst from his Dahl Minigun.

"You get a bullet; you get a bullet, EVERYBODY GETS A BULLET!"

The ridgeline crumbled, and there were no survivors. Axton had taken care of most of the rebels on his side of the hill, but there were still some on the other side, so he redeployed his turrets over there. Axton climbed the hill, and saw a man with binoculars observing the battle with a scowl on the next hill over.

"So, that's their CO huh?"

* * *

Armstrong had been trading blows with the enemy Alchemist. He wasn't that good, in his opinion. But he was just buying time for people to escape, and so he did not finish him, as his battle drew more soldiers to his position where he could take care of them.

Suddenly, he saw a flash in the corner of his eye. Before he could look at it, however, Rocky threw another punch at him that he had to dodge.

"Come on; just go down so I can go home to Adrian!"

Armstrong was about to reply when Rocky exploded. The flash of light he had seen was Axton's turret, and it had fired a rocket barrage at Rocky, destroying him completely. His blood covered Armstrong, causing him to flashback to some rather nasty memories of Ishval.

* * *

Gaige was firing more rounds into another rebel. He too dropped dead.

"Where can we hide on this train Ed?"

"The livestock cars should be safe!"

"How much further?"

"Three more cars!"

Another soldier had found his way onto the train. Gaige dropped him quickly, but the slide of her gun propped open. She was out of ammo. She hit the release, dropped the mag, and soon discovered a problem.

"Shit!"

"What is it, Gaige?"

"I can't reload one handed!"

Just as she said that, she saw another solider outside boarding the train.

"GUN. NOW!"

Ed quickly passed her the weapon he had looted, and passed it to Gaige. She got a grip on it and fired just as the man raised his weapon.

"That was too close. Tell you what. I shoot; you reload for me, ok?"

"Deal."

They moved on to the next train car, and walked into a trap. The soldiers in the car had heard the shots, and prepared an ambush. There were five of them, and they opened fire on Gaige. Some of the rounds missed, others hit her shield. She knew she couldn't take too much of this though.

"Find cover!"

She ducked behind a bench, and Ed followed her. Gaige blindly fired around the corner to force the rebels to take cover. A close enough round caught one of them in the leg.

"You got that gun reloaded yet!?"

"Almost! This isn't easy one handed!"

"Hurry up! I'm almost empty!"

Gaige peeked out from behind cover, and nailed one of the rebels in the head. It was still 4 to one though, and she was empty again.

"Got it yet!?"

"Yeah!"

"Reload this gun then!"

Gaige took the freshly loaded pistol, and fired a couple more blind rounds. The man who was wounded in the leg caught another bouncing round in the chest, and was out of the fight.

"I don't have any more magazines!"

"Reach into my SDU, and just think "Ammo!""

Ed did as she commanded, and to his surprise, a magazine digistructed in his hand. He started reloading again. More rounds from the rebel's rifles tore into their cover. It wouldn't protect them forever, Gaige knew. She had to end this. She stood, and aimed the last five rounds at two of the men. She hit one in the head, and the other in the chest, before the sound of her shield breaking forced her to retreat from the last soldier.

Ed passed the freshly loaded gun to Gaige, and she emptied the entire magazine blind into the ceiling. One of the bouncing rounds found its mark, and killed the last rebel.

Gaige swapped guns again, checked her firing lane, and yelled "Clear!"

"Is it over then?"

"No. but I don't see anyone else right now. Let's get to the livestock car!"

"Right!"

* * *

Axton had made his way over to the next hill without the enemy CO seeing him. He was too distraught at the failure of his attack to be watching his flank. Axton greeted him with a right hook.

"Hey there. I'm guessing you're in charge of this little party."

"Who…! You're the guy that slaughtered all my men! How! I saw them shoot you!"

"Vladof Sham shield. When you absolutely, positively have to absorb every round fired at you, go Vladof! Accept no substitutes!"

"Why did you interfere? You're not Amestrian military, not in that uniform!"

"You attacked the train me and my friends were on. I just repaid the favor. Now, why did you attack this train?"

"There was supposed to be a local dignitary on board. We were going to kidnap him and ransom him off."

"Ransom? That's so lame! I was hoping you would tell me there was gold or weapons aboard."

"So.. What now? Are you going to kill me too?"

"Considered it. But I have a feeling the Military would reward me for the capture of an enemy CO, Right?"

The CO's face went pale.

"By the look on your face, I'm guessing I'm right." Axton smiled devilishly.

Half an hour later, Armstrong found Gaige and Ed hiding in the livestock car.

"Thank goodness you two are safe! I feared the worst when I saw you weren't with Alphonse." said Armstrong.

"Gaige saved my life. If she hadn't jumped to action I'd be dead." admitted Edward.

"Just doing my job, Ed."

Axton walked up with an unknown man.

"Who's that, Ax?" Asked Gaige.

"MFIC."

"The what?" asked Ed.

"The Mother-Fucker In Charge!" Smiled Gaige.

"In any event, help should be arriving shortly. I set up a signal." Armstrong said.

"What signal?" asked Ed.

Armstrong pointed at the hilltop closest to the main rail line. On top of it was an enormous bust of the Major, flexing his muscles.

"Well, that's one way to get people's attention…"said Axton.

"Major, you're too much, you know that?" added Gaige.

In another hour, MP's had arrived and taken control of the scene. Armstrong, Axton, and Edward gave their reports to the MP's and were cleared. Axton handed over his prisoner, and was informed there was a large bounty on the man. He merely needed to pick it up at a military office.

"So, now how do we get to Resembool?" Asked Al.

"Another train will arrive in the morning to pick up the civilians." Answered Armstrong.

"What!? Tomorrow? We can't wait that long, we have to get to central and investigate the philosopher's stone!" cried Ed.

"I said the civilians. We're military. I commandeered a truck from one of the MP's. We should make Resembool by this afternoon."

"You're the best, Major!"

"Well, I try."

In another two hours, they had reached Ed and Al's hometown.

"Granny, Is that who I think it is?" Asked Winry.

"I do believe it is. But it appears he has friends."

The five of them walked up the path to the house from the street.

"Oh dear, what have you boys done this time?"

"Sorry, a lot has happened. Can you fix us up?"

This is Major Alex Louis Armstrong, Gaige, and Axton."

"I'm Pinaco Rockbell."

She shook hands with the three of them.

"A pleasure to meet you, Miss." Said Axton.

"Likewise."

A wrench went flying towards Ed's head.

"Hey, I thought I told you to call before heading back for maintenance!"

"WINRY, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?"

"Welcome back!" Laughed Winry.

"Wow, You're girlfriend has some on arm on her." Teased Axton.

"SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"So, what's with the entourage Ed?" asked Winry.

"Were his body-"

Ed punched Gaige in the ribs to get her to shut up.

"They're just friends! We were hoping you could also fit Gaige here with an arm."

"Ed, you know as well as I do that the surgery and rehab takes years." Said Granny.

"Um, I had a prosthetic before, but I'm not sure if it's compatible."

Gaige kneeled down and rolled up her empty sleeve to show granny.

"Hmm. Never seen work like this before. But it looks like it should be compatible with a few modifications. Come on in, all of you."

They all went into the house, and explained the situation.

"Sorry about the arm Winry. It's a little smashed up."

"A little? I'm going to have to rebuild it from scratch!" Winry smacked Ed upside the head.

"And let me guess. It was Gaige, right? Your arm smashed up too?"

"Yeah."

"But I've never seen automail like this before… Who made it?"

"I did."

"Wha..? Then why do you need my help?"

"Because I don't have the parts I need to make a new one. It's what you would call a onetime thing."

"I see. Ed, I'm guessing you want this rush ordered so you can get to Central, huh?"

"Yeah. How soon can you have it done, a week?"

"Give us some credit ed. Three days." Said granny.

"Wait, you want me to pull thee all-nighters in a row? TWICE?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!" fumed Winry.

"Calm down dear. I'll handle the girl's arm." Said Granny.

"Um. I have a special request, if I may?"Asked Gaige.

"Yes, dear, what is it?"

"Can you put this in my arm, and connect it so that when I move my arm up, it sends an electric signal to it?" Gaige took the Project DT/W CLWZ module out of her pocket and gave it to granny.

"Hmm. That's an odd request, but I should be able to manage it."

"Thanks. It would mean a lot."

"Well, I can see it's getting crowded in here, so I'll go find us a campsite." Said Axton.

"Nonsense. Any friends of Ed's are welcome here. You're staying."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Hey, Ax." Said Gaige.

"Yeah?"

"Everything's going to be ok, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is."

* * *

**Authors notes: sorry it took some time. Been sick, so this chapter is shorter than normal. Also, i noticed a few missing words and punctuation on the upload, so if you see something wrong let me know and ill fix it.**


	8. Chapter 8: Resembool Randomness

The next morning, Gaige and Axton were sitting outside on the grass, killing time while the automail was made.

"Hey Ax, I've been thinking."

"Stop that, it's dangerous when you think."

"Oh shut up you jerk!"

"Sorry."

"If we ever want to make it back to Pandora, we're going to have to figure out where in the Six Galaxies we are."

"And why would you want to go back? This place doesn't seem too bad, if a bit low tech."

"True. A few months ago I would have died for a place like this. But… Pandora is my home now, seeing as I can't go back to Eden-5. I care about making that armpit of a planet into a better place. I want to see Lilith and Modecai again. I want to help Tina any way I can."

"Not Brick?"

"Dude needs to learn to shower, and his hugs are not supposed to bend my robotic arm."

"Heh heh."

"I can't imagine an adventurous soul such as yourself would be happy here, either. You would miss the action too much."

"Damn, you got me pegged. Being a Soldier is all I know how to do. So, how do you propose we figure out where we are? We got no ship, the only Fast Travel is useless, and these people have never even heard of a computer."

"So we do it the old fashioned way. By looking up."

"Looking up, huh?"

The sky was a brilliant blue, with only a cloud or two in sight. The breeze carried the smell of grass, without so much of the faintest hint of gasoline or refuse.

"Yeah. If we can find a star cluster that appears in the Pandoran sky, we can use that to figure out where we are."

"And I suppose you just carry a Pandoran star chart around?"

"I do, actually. I downloaded it into my echo. I figured it might come in handy if I ever got really lost. I didn't count on getting this lost, though."

"My my, aren't you the little Girl Scout?"

"Says the man who taught me."

"Fine, fine, I'm the kettle."

"I don't think naked eye observation will be enough though. We need an observatory."

"You got one of those in your echo too?"

"Now you're just being stupid and you know it!"

"Aw, it's no fun if I can't tease you at all."

"I'm not a little girl, you know."

"I know. So why don't we ask Ed if he knows where there is one?"

"I plan on it. But, I just wish we knew where Maya and Zer0 were."

"Maya will show up sooner or later. She's intelligent. If she wants to find us, she could. Zer0 though… You know how he is."

"Yeah, he'd sooner disappear than surface in an unfamiliar place. I fear that he'll run afoul of the locals."

"That's what I was thinking too."

A long silence drifted over the conversation.

"I promise you, Gaige. We'll find them. And we'll get everyone home."

"Yeah. Thanks, Ax." Smiled Gaige.

* * *

_A long time ago, somewhere beneath the earth._

The being was looking for power. He craved it, desired it, and had to have it. His plans for obtaining power were as longstanding as he was, and he had outlived many mortal men. In his search for power, he had spent much time underground, making preparations. It was during one of these trips that he felt a new power, something he had never felt the likes of before. He raced towards it, desperate to find its source. In frenzy he tore the earth asunder, desperately trying to find its source. In a few minutes of digging, he found it. But there was a problem. A wall separated him from his prize, a wall made of a material he had never seen before. He used his power to command the wall to crumble. But it did not. He tried time and again, using all the forces he had at his disposal. Nothing worked. It was time for a change of strategy. If he could not get through the wall, perhaps he could bypass it. After much digging, he managed to uncover the true shape of the wall. It was not a wall, but rather an enormous cone. At the top of the cone were many ornate carvings in its surface. At the center of the top of the cone, was a small indent for another cone. It looked all the world like a lock. A lock that the being did not have the key for. He raged in frustration as all his attempts to force it to open floundered. Someone, somewhere there must be a way to open this lock. Someone knew what this power that drove him insane was. He would open this lock, and the power would be his. No matter how long it took.

* * *

"So, Truth, got any threes?"

"For the last time, this is Rummy, not Go Fish!"

"I have a three." Said the starving boy.

"That's not the point! That's the wrong game!" ranted Truth.

"Seriously, how dense can one person be?"

"Let's try a different game. How about checkers?" asked Sal.

"No! You cheat at that!"

"How do you cheat at checkers, Amigo?"

"I know of 6237 ways, and I'm pretty sure you used most of them!"

"Aww, I'm not that bad!"

"What about Poker?" Said the weak looking boy.

"And what could either of you offer me?" inquired Truth."

"I won't complain about being hungry for a week."

"I'd shut up for a week, if it helps." Added Sal."

"Hmm. Tempting. What would you want in return?"

"If I win, you give me a week's worth of meals." Said the hungry boy.

"And what does our obnoxious dwarf friend want?"

"You let me send a message to my friends."

"Hmm. Intriguing. All right gentleman, and Salvador, The game is Texas Hold'em. The blinds are 100/200. Winner takes all."

* * *

Day two of waiting arrived.

"So, Major, I hear your pretty good in a fight." Said Axton.

"I can handle myself, yes."

"I'm bored waiting around here. Why don't you spar with me?"

"I mean no disrespect Sir, but engaging in fisticuffs with me is inadvisable."

"Who said anything about fists? If I'm going to be here awhile, I need to learn to fight Alchemists. I'm assuming most of them are much stronger than that Rocky guy, right? So I could use some training in how to fight you guys."

"Indeed. But how do you intend to fight me without injury? I would not hold back in a duel to the death."

"Hey, I'm brave, but not stupid. I got some paint rounds left over from training exercises from when I was in the military in my SDU. They sting like a bitch, but they aren't fatal."

"Fine, but what about yourself? I don't wish to injure you."

"My shield should protect me, if you're gentle. It's not made for melee combat. How about this, if you break it, we'll call it a point for you. A point for me for every paint round that hits you. Sound good?"

"Your terms are acceptable."

"Good. 50 feet apart sound fair as a starting position?"

"Hmm. Close enough for alchemy, but very close for a gun user such as you. Alright."

"Then take your place."

"Very well."

Armstrong and Axton walked to an open clearing near the house, and took opposing positions 50 feet away.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this, Sergeant? Even if this is a training exercise my pride as an Armstrong will not allow me to go easy on you."

"Please, the military feels like forever ago. You can call me Axton. And as far as going easy, I won't learn anything if you don't go all out, right?"

"Very well. In that case I shall demonstrate the Armstrong technique that has been passed down the family lines for generations!"

"I appreciate the lesson, but I won't go down easy!"

A still moment hung in the air. Axton held his Assault rifle at a resting position, and Armstrong removed his shirt, donned his Alchemy gauntlets, and assumed a fighting stance. The two combatants glared at each other, sizing the other man up. Axton made the first move, and prepared his rifle to fire. Armstrong's reactions were good, and he anticipated this. He transmuted a stone wall between himself and Axton, and his first burst splashed uselessly against it.

"Hmm. Your draw speed isn't bad. But it's predicable! And predictability gets you killed!" yelled Armstrong.

Armstrong punched the wall he made, transmuting a stone spike that flew at Axton. While initially surprised, he managed to dodge it at the last second.

"That was a cheap shot, Major. Using your cover to attack?"

"I think you will find that alchemy is full of what you would consider cheap shots."

Armstrong punched the wall more, sending a hail of spikes at Axton. Now what he was prepared for them he easily dodged them and outflanked the wall.

"You adapt quickly! But you won't get a chance to fire!"

Armstrong punched the ground, and a stone fist appeared below Axton, sending him flying. He heard his shield shatter as he landed with a thud.

"…The hell?"

"First point goes to me. Allow me to guess. You were thinking that as long as you could see my hands, you could dodge my attacks."

"Yeah, something like that."

"Such instincts are because you are used to guns. But it's different with Alchemists. To an alchemist, the entire battlefield is a weapon! All is but an extension of themselves, even you friends, even your body can be used against you! You must abandon such narrow thinking that says that if you can see your opponent, you can read him."

"Ok, I get it. Lesson 1: be alert."

"Now, come at me!"

Axton used suppressing fire to force Armstrong to create a shelter for himself. Ax flanked right, checking the ground for disturbance. It was obvious to him that Armstrong would not make it easy to get a clear shot. Armstrong punched more needles out at him, with Axton bobbing and weaving between them. The ground in front of Armstrong rose up towards Axton, but he rolled left. As he was coming up, he saw the Major punch the ground again.

"Not this time!"

Axton leaped up, avoiding the stone fist, and firing a burst at the burly man. Armstrong felt a stinging impact on his chest.

"It appears you have gotten me. Well done."

"Thanks, I try."

"Why don't we move on to Lesson 2 then?"

"What would that be then?"

"Close quarters combat!"

Armstrong rushed toward Axton with blinding speed, fists ready to unload. Ax barely had time to get a burst off.

In the Rockbell house, an enormous crash was felt, followed by the sound of gunfire.

"What in the world is going on out there?" Asked Granny.

"I'll go check it out! Stay put!" Gaige drew her borrowed pistol, and rushed out of the house.

Edward was coming back from visiting his mother's grave, when he saw white smoke on the horizon.

"Oh no. Winry!"

Ed charged off towards the disturbance.

Armstrong had Axton on the defensive. He swung his powerful fists time and again at the shorter man, who barely managed to dodge, or used his rifle to block them.

"Even though you've lost the initiative, you're doing well! Most riflemen would break in the face of overwhelming close combat!"

"Dahl makes their commandos out of tougher stuff! That, and you aren't exactly the first person to get in my face!"

Axton had flashbacks to the many times psychos had rushed at him with their buzzaxes. It inspired him.

"I'll give you credit, Major. You're quite strong. But, what was it you said about being predictable?"

As Alex readied his next swing, Axton suddenly rolled forward between the larger man's legs. He quickly turned about, and fired a burst into the Major's back before he could react.

"An unconventional strategy. Perhaps you're starting to think like an alchemist!"

"You are a pretty good teacher. It's adapt, or get punched into next Tuesday. I don't envy those who don't have the benefit of a shield between them and your fists!"

"What the hell are you doing?!" Screamed Ed.

"It's alright, Fullmetal." said Armstrong.

"The hell it is! He shot you in the back! You're bleeding!"

"I am?"

Alex looked down to see a red, running spot on his chest.

"Pwahahaha! Major, you decide to take up being a human canvas?" Gaige arrived at the scene, took one look at Alex's back, and fell over laughing.

"Heh, you do look pretty funny Armstrong." Added Axton.

Armstrong's back was covered in a multicolored hue of paint splotches.

"JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" cried Ed.

"Calm down Fullmetal. Axton asked me to train him in fighting Alchemists."

"You sure picked an odd way to do it."

Day three arrived, and Ed was getting impatient. Winry had already kicked him out of the house for bothering her. He and Al were laying on the grass, starting at the sky, when a blotch of red obscured his view.

"Hey Gaige. What's up?"

"I wanted to ask you something. Is there an observatory in your country?"

"Yeah, there's one in Central. Why the sudden interest in Astronomy?"

"If I'm right, it could help us get back home."

"I see. Even after all the bad things you told me about Pandora, you still plan on going back?"

" Someone has to fix it."

"You're right. Well, as soon as we get our limbs back, we'll be able to get the info we need!"

"Yeah. I can't wait. Not having an arm sucks."

"That's right; you've never gone without, huh?"

"Mmm. Now that I have I kind of regret it. I probably could have figured out another way to carry DT around with me." Gaige clutched at her stump.

"We all have regrets, right?"

"Yeah. But when I do have it, I think of how awesome it is to have a robot living in my arm. So don't worry about me."

"Edward, Gaige, They're ready!" Called out Winry.

"Awesome! It's about time!" Ed ran off into the house.

"Hey, wait for me!" Called Gaige.

"Now, Ms Gaige, If you would please sit down, we'll get started." Granny motioned to a wooden chair.

"Hey, how come she's going first?" whined Ed.

"She's our guest, Ed. Don't be so rude! Honestly." Chided Winry.

Gaige walked over to the chair, removed her jacket and sat down. Winry brought over her new arm, and attached it to the stump. It attached with a click.

"Now, I know you haven't had traditional automail before, so I have to warn you this will hurt." Said Winry.

"I'm ready."

Winry tightened the bolt that connected the nerves.

"GAHHHH-RAAAGH!"

"Sorry about that. It's always rough the first time."

"You ok Gaige?" asked Axton.

"Peachy." Gaige tried to move the fingers on her left hand, and found she could. She flexed the arm and tested its range of motion.

"It's a lot heavier than the old arm. This will take some getting used to."

"It IS made of steel. What was your old arm made of?" asked Winry.

"An aluminum alloy. It was light but very strong. But this will work. Thank you both."

"Don't thank me, granny did all the work on your arm." Dismissed Winry.

"Don't mention it. Any friend of Ed's is a friend of ours. Now it's your turn Ed." Said Granny.

"Finally."

Winry and Granny attached Ed's new arm and his adjusted leg, with Ed screaming at the pain. Ed stood and stretched his limbs.

"Now be careful Ed… Hey!"

Ed ran out of the house, with Gaige and Axton following him.

"Al, I can fix you now!"

"Great!"

"You can fix him right here, Ed?" Asked Axton.

"Yep. You see that seal on the inside? That's the medium between the armor and his soul. I have to be careful not to ruin it while I transmute. Here goes!"

Ed clapped, and transmuted Al's body back to normal.

"How's that, Al?"

"Feels good. Let's go try it out!"

"Ok!"

Ed and Al sparred for a few minutes as Gaige and Axton watched.

"They look like they've been fighting a long time, huh?" said Gaige.

"Yeah, but you can tell they care for each other. Kinda makes me wish I was closer to my family."

"You're not going soft on me now, are you?"

"Who, me? Never."

Ed and Al finished sparring, and came over.

"So Gaige, how's the arm?" asked Ed.

"I haven't really tested it yet. How about I spar with you guys?"

"I'm not fighting a girl!"

"That's such old sexist thinking!"

"I'll do it!" Volunteered Al.

"Thank you, Al."

The two stood off from each other, and Gaige gave a wild left hook. Al caught it, and flung Gaige to the ground.

"Ok. Well that was humiliating."

"I've been sparring with brother since I was little. You look like you never threw a punch before."

"True, I'm better with guns and robots. Speaking of robots, I haven't tried it yet…"

"Tried what?"

Gaige raised her left arm halfway.

"Here goes nothing!"

She raised her arm father, spreading the fingers out. Deathtrap digistructed in front of her.

"Nice to see you again boy!"

Gaige ran over and gave him a big hug.

"So, you got Deathtrap back? Congrats." Said Axton.

"Thanks."

Gaige tried making a fist, and found she could still digistruct her claws as well. She deconstructed them.

"So Al, I may not be a great melee combatant, but DT is! Let's go!"

"Isn't that.. Dangerous!?"

"Not if I don't use his claws and I control him. Now fight us!"

Gaige engaged manual control Alpha, and DT charged at Al. Al parried rapid attacks from DT, and was completely on the defensive. Gaige looked like she was shadowboxing. Al saw an opportunity to counterattack, only for DT to disappear into the ground.

"What?!"

DT appeared behind Al, and used a clawless Robot Rampage to knock him flat on his face.

"Yes! Nice one babe!"

"That was a cheap trick!"

"Sorry, Al, I couldn't resist."

"Whoa Gaige, since when could you puppet DT like that?" Asked Axton.

"I always could." Gaige explained how it worked to Ax, and its weaknesses.

"I see. It's not that practical in a real fight. But Beta could open up a lot of tactical opportunities. Why didn't you use that before?"

"I kinda forgot about it, really. That, and if I get too emotional, it's hard to control it. I've never really tried to use DT to fight in that mode."

"I see."

"Oh! I almost forgot, Ed. Can you transmute a few things for me?"

"Like what?"

"First one is easy. You remember my hose clamp hair decorations? I'd like a new set."

"You really do have a weird fashion sense, you know that?"

"Oh can it. Unless you're stalling because you can't do it?"

"I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I CAN DO!"

Ed clapped, and turned two nearby stones into the requested item.

"Thanks." She went to pick them up, but Axton got them first.

"Here, I'll do it for you."

"That's not necessary, Ax."

"Yeah, but we don't want your new arm getting tangled in your hair, right? Its not as sleek as your old one and it looks like it could get caught."

"Fine."

Axton took the clamps, and used them to tie her hair back into her signature pigtails.

"How do I look?"

"Like your old self. Also extremely adorable."

"You… You didn't have to say that last part!" said Gaige, a bit flustered.

"So, what was the second thing?" asked Ed.

"Come into the house, I need some tools."

Gaige walked in, borrowed a screwdriver from Winry, and undid the cover on her SDU. She removed the fried circuit board.

"Do you think you could make a new one of these?"

"What is it? I've never seen a piece of machinery like that."

"Oh. Right, you don't have computers. It's for carrying electrical signals for calculations, to put it simply."

"Hmm, if I had done it before, I'd say yes. Do you think you can list the elemental makeup?"

"Silicon, 10 grams. Gold, ½ gram. Copper, 2 grams…"

A few minutes of trial and error later, they had a working circuit board.

"Hmm, a bit rough, but it looks like it should work."

"Hey, if you don't want my help then don't ask!"

"No, it's fine. I'm amazed you were able to make it without seeing one before. Thanks, Ed."

"So, what's it for, anyway?"

"I should be able to fix my SDU with this. Here goes…"

Gaige plugged in the circuit board, closed its cover, and turned on the device. She digistructed Riza's pistol, then tried to swap weapons. It worked, and she digistructed her Dahl Plasma Caster.

"Yes! Hi Marian, I missed you!" Gaige hugged her recovered weapon.

"Heh, what was that about not naming your guns?"

"Oh stuff it Axton!"

Gaige tried to swap to her other two weapon slots, and retrieved the Thunderball Fists she had gotten at the armory, and a Vladof Shock Blaster. Gaige tried to swap Riza's pistol for a different weapon.

"Son of a…"

"What's wrong, Gaige?" Asked Ed.

"I still can't access my storage! Damn it..."

"What's the problem? Did you miss some damage?" Asked Axton.

"No, I'm sure I got it all. Which means this is a software problem. Fetch my Echo for me would you?"

Axton walked over to the table with a mix of automail parts and the Vault Hunters gear, and picked up the device.

"Thanks."

She hooked up the Echo to the SDU to try and diagnose the problem.

"What? That's impossible!"

"What is it?"

"The storage control software isn't corrupted. It's _gone_."

"How could that of happened?" said Axton.

"Probably from the digistream feedback. Damn it, it will take me weeks to write it from scratch!"

"What about mine?"

Axton handed his SDU to Gaige.

"Yep, same thing. Ugh. This will take a lot of nights to fix. Oh well. Edward, can you make another board for Axton's SDU?"

Ed clapped, and turned a piece of scrap metal into a new circuit board. He had no problems this time now that he knew what he was doing. He handed it to Gaige, who installed it. She handed the device back to the soldier. He swapped his Dahl Minigun for the Hornet, a Deep Seraphim, and a Badaboom Rocket Launcher.

"Well, at least we have some variety again. What about grenades? We didn't try that yet." Said Gaige.

"I don't think we should try that in the house. Might get a bit messy."

"True enough."

The group walked outside to the field where Axton had sparred with Armstrong. They found him out there, training.

"Hello again Major! We were about to demonstrate our grenades, care to watch?" Called Axton.

"That sounds dangerous!"

"We'll have Ed make some blast walls. Besides, mine isn't explosive." Said Gaige.

"Isn't explosive?" the Major looked confused.

Gaige reached into her SDU for a grenade. A Vladof Longbow Storm Front digistructed into her hand, and she threw it into the grass. It exploded quickly, deploying its three electric rods.

"Most unusual. An electrical grenade? You sure have some odd weapons." Said the Major.

"It's cool, right? The best part about it is it won't shock me, only my enemies." Said Gaige, looking like she was boasting about her child.

"Ed, Can you make me a target dummy, and a set of blast walls one foot thick, and at least 15 feet high, 20 feet from the dummy?" Asked Axton.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" frowned Ed.

"We need to know all our gear still works. We can't have a failure while we're trying to protect you."

Ed nodded, and built the structure as Axton asked.

"We should probably stand back for this. Atleast 150 feet."

They walked back the requisite distance, and Axton drew his grenade, a Torgue Homing Meteor Shower. He registered the target dummy as a hostile, and threw the grenade.

"Everyone get down!"

Axton and Gaige hit the deck first, with the rest following a bit later. Gaige had a demented smile on her face, as she knew exactly what was going to happen. The grenade slowly made its way to the dummy, bounced off it, and fell to the ground. A second passed, and a tremendous explosion rang out. Twelve sub-munitions launched from the grenade, exploding on contact with the ground, and releasing another set of grenades that leveled the blast walls.

"Yep, still awesome!" Beamed Axton.

"I still can't get over how cool that is!" added Gaige.

Ed, Al, and Armstrong had to dig their jaws off of the grass.

"You call that a grenade?! You could have blown up the entire town with that!" Ranted Ed.

"Truly a terrifying weapon!" added Armstrong.

"If that's a grenade, what's a bomb to you guys?" Said Al, sounding terrified.

The target dummy was completely obliterated, the walls crumbled to the ground, and small craters dotted the open side of the walls.

"This concludes the demonstration, Gentlemen." Said Axton.

"Shouldn't we test our other guns?" asked Gaige.

"Good idea. Major, can you dig a shooting range into the hillside for us, please?"

"After what I just saw, I'm not sure that would be enough to contain your weapons!"

"I promise, no more explosives. Our remaining guns are relatively normal… Well, Gaige's do shoot electricity…"

"Very well. But if you cause an accident it's on your heads!"

Armstrong punched at the hill, hollowing out a cavern with two 200 foot long firing lanes, with busts of the Major as targets.

"Much appreciated. Come on Gaige, you gotta get your new arm used to guns again."

"Right!"

The pair walked off into the firing range, and started setting up.

"Come boys, let's go back to the house." Said Alex.

"Yeah, I'm getting hungry." Said Ed.

They walked back towards the house.

"Those two can be really scary, huh brother?"

"Yeah. I'm still not entirely comfortable with them killing, even if it is to protect us."

"I know what you mean. But they really do seem to want to help."

"I'm just glad they're on our side. I wouldn't want to fight them!"

"When I sparred with Axton, I found him quick to adapt and his reflexes fast. I fear in a real battle he may have overpowered me, especially if he used his turrets." Admitted Armstrong.

"That's not like you Major. Feeling defeatist?"

"Nothing like that. Just admiring a man of great skill."

Ed walked in the door to the house, to see a panicked Winry.

"Ed, we heard a huge explosion! What's going on out there!?"

"Just our new friends training."

"If that's their training, I'd hate to hear them fight! Was anyone hurt?"

"No, everyone's fine. We made sure they stayed safe."

Ed, Armstrong, and the Rockbells ate dinner.

"I'm surprised those two aren't back yet. Did they say when they would finish?" asked Winry.

"No. they didn't." Replied Alex.

"It can't be too much longer. It's getting dark."

At that moment, the door burst open. Gaige walked in, followed by Axton.

"Hey everyone! Sorry we're late. We didn't notice the time until we saw the sun coming in from behind us." Gaige had a huge smile on her face, and sat at the table.

"Well, you seem to be in a good mood Gaige." Commented Al.

"It's been too long since I went to the range with Axton! My markswomanship was a bit rusty. He's a great teacher though! Not that he can counteract my Anarchy, heh."

"Give yourself some credit. You're a lot better than when I first started training you." Said Axton. He sat at the table as well.

"Thanks."

"Anarchy? What do you mean by that, Gaige?" Asked Ed.

"Hmm, it's hard to explain, but I get excited in combat. I do more damage the longer it goes on, but the adrenaline rush destroys my accuracy."

"Excited, huh?" It was obvious that didn't sit well with Ed.

"Enough chatter. Eat your food, it's not getting any warmer." Granny sniffed the air. "And take a bath, you both reek of gunpowder."

"Yes Ma'am! Those are orders I can follow." Axton dug into his cold stew.

"Thanks, Ms. Rockbell. You took us in even though we dropped in unannounced."

"I said stop thanking me. I won't hear any more about this, I'm simply doing what anyone would do."

After they ate, Winry showed Gaige to the bath.

"I'll wash your clothes for you. You can borrow one of my pajamas for tonight."

"Thanks. You really have a great family, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Even if we're not related by blood, I still feel like the Elrics are my brothers, you know?"

"Sometimes it feels like Axton is becoming my second dad."

"I can see he really cares. Make sure you take care of him too, alright?"

"I will. Thanks again for everything."

"Sure, no problem."

The next morning, the Elrics, Vault Hunters, and Armstrong piled into the truck they had borrowed and drove to the train station. They would have said goodbye, but both the Rockbells were exhausted from working for so long.

"I hope you plan on repaying me for that arm. It wasn't cheap."

"Hey, I did save your ass getting here. That has to count for something!"

"Not enough to cover a rush order automail!"

"What about the Bounty Axton can collect?"

"Hey, I was the one who took him down. Get your own cash."

"Aww come on! Aren't we in this together?"

"Yeah, and if you were in on the capture you would get a cut. But you weren't, so you don't. That was the rule on Pandora."

"You're no fun."

"Ain't I a stinker?"

"Fine. I promise to repay you, Ed. And I'll do it myself!" Gaige elbowed Axton in the ribs.

"Thanks."

"So, how much is the bill?"

Ed showed her the receipt.

"Uh, I'm not used to your guy's currency yet. How much is a day's wage here usually?"

"About 1/200th that."

"WHHHHAAAAT?!"

They arrived at the train station shortly after. They were still early, so they had some time to kill. Gaige wondered over to a notice board, and along with some other miscellaneous local announcements, she saw a wanted poster.

**WANTED:**

**Criminal known as "Ich NeeSan"**

**For murder of political targets.**

**Age: Unknown**

**Sex: Unknown**

**Height: At least Six feet**

**Description: Slender, last seen wearing a white cloak and full face helmet.**

**Bounty reward: 500,000 Cenz**

"Hey Ax, come over here!"

"Yeah, what?"

"Take a look at this!"

Axton took a moment to read the poster.

"You're thinking it sounds like Zer0, right?"

"It could be."

"But this is kinda vague. There's no way to tell just from this that it's him. Could just be a guy using a pseudonym who hides his face."

"Yeah, but it's possible, right?"

"Let's not get our hopes up over nothing, ok?"

"You're right. But we can't give up."

"Of course not."

The train pulled into the station whistling along. It soon slowed to a stop. The party boarded and found their seats.

"So, we're finally on our way to Central! We're coming, National Library!" Grinned Ed, excited.

"And the observatory! Can't forget that!" added Gaige.

"It is a shame, I could have gotten used to the countryside." Said Armstrong.

"Nah, I'm more of a city type myself. Countryside is too boring. Then again cities can be stuffy as well." Added Axton.

The train roared northward to the center of the country.

* * *

**Authors Notes: Sorry for short chapters last two times, but I've been sick and not feeling up to writing as much. (It's sad I consider 19 pages and 5k+ words short, lol.) Getting over it though and I'll try to write more. However I can keep them shorter if you guys prefer. **

**Also, next time stuff really starts happening!**


	9. Chapter 9: Hotsprings, Hiking and Murder

Truth was regretting agreeing to this game. Sal played like a madman, and the unclothed boy had a penchant for getting cards. Of his initial 10,000 cenz buy in, he was down to 3000. He wasn't on the blinds and he peeked at his hole cards.

Ace of Diamonds, Ace of Hearts

Truth smiled internally. This was his time to make his move.

"All In."

"Nice move, Senor. I Call!"

Sal didn't even hesitate. The emaciated boy looked at his cards.

"I fold."

Truth turned over his pocket aces to see Sal's…. 3 of spades and 8 of clubs.

"Hah! You really are an idiot! Why would you call with cards like those?"

"I feel lucky! Don't get too cocky!"

The flop came, and it was 5 of hearts, 5 of spades and 3 of clubs.

"It will take more than that to beat me!" Truth was feeling confident of a double up.

"The obese woman has yet to warble, amigo!"

The turn produced a 3 of hearts.

"What the? You have GOT to be kidding me!"

"Ha HA! Senorita luck is with me!"

The river was an 8 of diamonds. Salvador won with a full house to Truth's two pair.

"Son of a- Ok, where are you hiding your cards?"

"I don't know what you're talking about senor! You just don't have luck on your side today, that's all!"

"I am the ultimate being! I know everything! How, HOW CAN I LOSE TO AN IDIOT LIKE YOU?"

"Either rebuy or shut up! It's time for heads up with blondie over here."

"I hate my new toll."

* * *

The Elric party arrived at National Central Library, First Branch. It was in perfect condition, save for the giant smoldering debris pile where the library should have been.

"GAAAH! DR. MARCOH'S RESEARCH! IT'S ALL GONE!" shouted Ed.

"Now what do we do brother?"

"I don't know!"

"Damn. Looks like someone didn't want us finding it."

"What makes you say that, Ax?" Said Gaige.

"Just seems like awfully convenient timing, that's all."

"Major Armstrong!"

"Ah, 2nd Lieutenant Ross and Sergeant Brosh. To what do we owe this honor?"

"You have been ordered back to the command center, Sir." Stated Ross.

"We will be taking over the supervision of the Elric brothers effective immediately." Said Brosh.

"Very well."

"Uh, By the way, who are these two? Our orders didn't say anything about them."

"I'm Axton, and this is Gaige. We're extra security."

"Ugh, more bodyguards? Axton and Gaige can handle this!" whined Ed.

"They probably want to have their own guys on us so we stay in line." Axton whispered this to Ed and Gaige.

"Come on then, We'll show you to the hotel." Said Ross.

They all piled into a truck and started driving.

"You know, all might not be lost, Ed. There's a girl who's very familiar with the 1st branch's materiel. I could introduce her if you like?" Said Ross.

"What, seriously! What are we waiting for, let's go!"

The group arrived at the girl's apartment, and opened the door. The entire space was filled floor to ceiling with bookshelves.

"Whoa, there's got to be a million of em!" exclaimed Ed.

"Yeah, if we let Maya loose in here she might never leave!" said Gaige.

"They could rebuild the first branch just with this room!" joked Ross.

"Somebody help me!"

"Ms. Cheska, is that you?" Called Ross.

Axton saw a hallway collapsed with books, and saw a hand peeking out.

"Hey, I think I found her!"

They all rushed over and dug Cheska out.

"Ahh! Thank you so much for rescuing me! I don't know how long I was stuck in there!"

"So, are you Cheska?" asked Ed.

"Yep! Nice to meet you."

"So, you worked at the library, right?"

"Ohh! The library! I read every book there was in there! But I forgot I was supposed to be working and they fired me." Her expression was pained with regret.

"Do you remember seeing any research by someone named Tim Marcoh?"

"Hmm… Let me see.. Tim Marcoh, Tim Marcoh… Oh! I remember now, there were some handwritten notes stuffed into a bookcase where they didn't belong."

"They were there! So they burnt up with everything else in the library…"

"Did you want to read them, is that why you're asking?"

"Yeah, but it's too late now. Thanks anyway."

"It was nice to meet you, Cheska." Added Gaige, as they all walked away.

"I remember everything that was in them, does that help at all?"

"HUH!?" Ed and Al gawked at Cheska in disbelief.

"I have a photographic memory. I could write them out for you, but it would take awhile."

"Thank you bookworm, you're my hero!"

"You're welcome? Come back in a couple days and I should have them done."

The group went back to the truck.

"Remembering a book so completely you could rewrite it? I'll believe that when I see it." Said Axton.

"I kinda think she could do it, what with the amount of books that were in there." Added Gaige."

"That sounded like a bet to me."

"Let's say it is."

"Allright you're on. One favor sound good?"

"Deal."

"Those two are pretty chummy." Said Brosh.

"Hey lieutenant, you think you could take me to the National Board for Justice? I have a bounty sheet and I was told I could redeem it there." Axton handed over the slip of paper the MP had given him at the train.

"Hmm, yeah, that's on the way. We can do that."

After a few minutes, they arrived at the office.

"I'll just go in myself."

Axton went in, and returned 5 minutes later with a brown envelope with a bulge in it.

"Thanks for waitng."

"How much did you get, Ax?"

"15,000 cenz."

"Nice." Said Brosh.

Axton added the currency to his SDU, and it started a new counter for cenz. Ross drove them to the hotel where they would be staying, and checked them in.

"Well, that should be everything for now." Said Brosh.

"Sergeant, we were wondering about something." Said Axton.

"What would that be?"

"We heard there was an observatory here in Central. Would you know where it is?"

"Hmm, can't say I do, but I could ask."

"We would appreciate it."

10 minutes on the phone later, he was back.

"It seems like it's on the city limits. Why are you so interested in it?"

"Uhh…" Explaining the whole "we're aliens" thing again didn't seem like a great idea.

"Gaige here is a budding astronomer!"

"Uh, yeah! I just looove stars. Would you mind taking us?"

"I don't have a problem with it, but aren't you two supposed to be guarding the Elrics?"

"He'll be fine now that he's in the hotel. Besides, Lt. Ross is guarding him." Said Axton.

"All right, if you guys say so. I'll get the truck."

Brosh pulled around the front of the hotel in two minutes, and Gaige and Axton squeezed into the front cab.

"So, where are you two from? I can't say I've seen clothes like those before."

Gaige had a dumbstruck look on her face, trying to think of how to explain it.

"East City." Said Axton without skipping a beat.

"Oh? You guys don't seem the type."

The rest of the ride over was slightly uncomfortable silence.

"Well, were here!" said Brosh.

"This is it? This old thing?" said Gaige in disbelief.

The incredulity was justified. It looked like it had been made out of a converted grain silo. Metal bits of paneling were falling off the walls, and its white paint was peeling. A medium sized telescope peeked out of the top of the structure.

"Hey, at least they even have one." Said Axton. He pushed on the door to the place, and its old hinges creaked terribly.

"Oh? Visitors? Yes, yes come in, come in!"

The bottom floor of the place was a dingy office, with a few desks and chairs scattered about, and charts and papers covering most of the surfaces. At two of the desks sat men, one with black curly hair, and the other with dark blonde hair, spiked in the front. Both of them wore lab coats. The owner of the voice was approaching them. He was shorter than Axton, and had a black afro, and was also wearing a lab coat with khaki pants and a blue shirt. His skin was the same tone as Gaige's.

"I'm the director of the National Observatory. Welcome! What can I do for you?"

"Hello, I'm Gaige and this is my friend Axton. We were interested in seeing if you have ever seen some of these star patterns before?" Gaige pulled out her echo, pulled up the Pandoran Star Chart, and began flipping through some of the skyline.

"Hmm... Interesting device you have there. I can't say I recognize any of them off the bat. Hibito, Mutta, come over here!"

The two men who were working at the desks stood and walked over.

"This young lady is interested to know if you have seen any of these stars before."

They looked at the echo for a few minutes.

"Hmm. I can't say I have; what about you, bro?" said the spiky haired Hibito.

"Same. Never seen any of these." Confirmed the curly haired Mutta.

"Oh. I see." Gaige looked downtrodden and defeated.

"Well, don't let that get you down miss! We could use a new project; we haven't had anything to do since that huge meteor a few months back. Would you happen to have a copy of that star chart?" asked the Director.

Gaige set the Echo down on the empty section of a table and hit the digistruct print button. A perfect replica of the chart appeared on the table.

"My, that IS quite the device. I don't suppose you would let us take a look at it?"

"Sorry, I still need it."

"That's quite alright. As far as your chart goes, we can start looking tonight."

"Hey professor, what was the meteor you mentioned? I think I was out of town at the time." Said Brosh.

"Well, that's quite a shame. You couldn't miss it, it had to be at least 100 feet long, and the fire lit up the whole sky! We even managed to snap a picture of it with the telescope."

"You did? I would love to see it!"

"Sure, Sure! I think I have it around here somewhere…"

The Director searched the piles of mess for the photo. Mutta and Hibito were studying the star chart intently.

"Is it just the three of you here?" Asked Gaige

"Sad to say, it is. We don't have much of a budget, as you can see." Said Mutta.

"Ah! Here it is!" exclaimed the Director.

"See, See? It's quite the event!"

He waived the picture in front of Brosh.

"Hold still, I can't see it."

"Sorry. I get a bit exited sometimes!"

"Wow. That's quite the fireball. It's huge!"

"I know, right?"

"Let me see." Said Axton.

He studied the picture for a moment, before his eyes went wide with shock. He grabbed the picture out of the Director's hand, walked over to Gaige, and dragged her away from the table by the collar.

"Sorry gotta borrow these!"

"Ax…ton? The hell?" Gaige looked quite confused.

He pulled her over to a corner of the room, stood her back up, and showed her the picture.

"What the hell are you doing?" said Gaige, indignant.

"Shut up and look at this, and please tell me my eyes are working right."

"Geez, It's just a stupid meteor…" she studied the picture for a few seconds, before her eyes went as wide as Ellie's girth.

"That's… That's not a Hyperion "H" logo I see! It can't be!" whispered Gaige.

"I didn't believe it either!"

In the top left of the black and white photograph, very faintly visible was the trademark Hyperion H logo. It was hard to make out because the rest of the image was a fireball.

"So this isn't a meteor."

"It's a shipwreck. And it would explain why there was a fast travel here."

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Asked Brosh, suspiciously.

"Oh, Nothing! Just um, body guard stuff." Replied Gaige.

"…Right."

"Director, do you have any idea where this meteor landed?"

"Hmm. I think I had it marked on the map, let me find it…"

He tossed through more paperwork, until he found the document he was searching for.

"Yes, here we go!" He pointed out a red "X" on the map, just to the south of North City. It looked to be mountainous.

"I always wanted to go check it out, but the military always denied my requests. They said they had their own team handling it."

"Hmm. I see. Thanks, professor."

"Don't tell me you two were thinking of checking it out. You're supposed to be guarding the Elrics." Warned Brosh.

"Of course not! We know our duties." Replied Axton indignantly.

"Young lady, do you have a contact number where we can reach you if we find something?" asked the Director.

"Ah, I'm new to town, so I don't have a phone number yet. Do you guys have a radio here?"

The Director nodded.

"You can reach me at 104.91 AM. Or you can leave a message for the Fullmetal Alchemist. We're staying with him for awhile."

"Oh, the Fullmetal boy, hmm? Yes, a good kid that one!"

"Thank you Professor. You've been a big help to us." Axton took 1000 Cenz out of his SDU and handed it to the boss.

"Please, there's no need for that! We're just glad to have a new purpose. Most people here care more about alchemy than astronomy."

"Take care, Director." Said Gaige.

They left the building, and got back in the truck to head for the hotel. When they arrived, it was getting to be the afternoon, so they ate dinner and went back to their room. They had made a point of getting twin beds this time.

They sat on the beds across from each other.

"So, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" said Gaige.

"That we need to go check out that shipwreck?"

"Yeah. If it's fixable we could use it to get home."

"True, but I would feel bad about leaving the Elrics with just those two, after the promise we made them."

"I get the feeling if they had to ditch us to find the secret to getting their bodies back, they would."

"Fair enough. Did you manage to get a capture of that map?"

"Of course!"

Gaige digi-printed the map onto the night stand between them.

"From the looks of it, the mountain range isn't close to any towns. It looks to be 2 days from the nearest railhead, so we'll need 5 days of rations to be safe." Said Axton.

"Time to go shopping?"

"Yeah. I'll handle that as soon as we're done."

They heard a door click shut.

"Someone there?" asked Gaige?

"Guess not. So, meet me at the train station as soon as you're done shopping, ok?"

"Ten four. Echo me if you think if we're going to grow a tail."

Gaige walked over to the window, parted the curtain and pushed out on the panes, and leaped out the 10th floor to the street below. Axton followed her three seconds later. They both did a three point landing, and headed in opposite directions. Pedestrians on the street gawked at the pair who had just made an impossible leap as they ran their separate ways.

* * *

"I win! Good game, amigo."

"So much for the food." Said the sad, hungry boy.

"Hey, blanco guy! I won!" yelled Sal.

"I heard you the first time. I suppose you want your prize now?"

"Not yet. First get blonde boy over here a sandwich."

"Why? It was winner take all after all."

"Because just looking at him is making me hungry!"

"No."

"Don't make me sing itsy bitsy spider again!"

"You wouldn't."

Sal took a deep breath. "The Itsy bitsy spider…"

"All right all right!" Truth snapped his fingers, and a sandwich appeared in front of the hungry boy. His eyes shone and he devoured it.

"And as for my prize?"

"What was it again?"

"You let me contact my friends."

* * *

This time had better be a challenge. That was all the hitman could think as the woman with curly black hair and mountains the size of the Himalayas talked to him. The last job was so boring. His target barley resisted. A pistol? Please.

"…your target is a man known as Scar. He wears a yellow jacket and black pants, and has brown skin. There's an X shaped scar on his forehead, hence the name. Red eyes, but wears sunglasses most of the time. He should be in East City."

"Understood."

"He's an alchemist. He can destroy anything with his right arm just by touching it. Do be careful, we don't pay you if you're dead."

"So you would consider it a challenge then?"

"I would. This man has eluded us so far. I want you to see he that he ceases to be a problem to us."

"Satisfactory."

"Oh, by the way, you're going to meet a man by the name of Gluttony there. Short, fat, and dimwitted, but very powerful."

"I do not require assistance."

"Against this guy, some insurance doesn't hurt. I'd handle it myself but there's somewhere else I need to be."

"Somewhere else?"

"Just some insects buzzing around where they don't belong. I'll tell you the dead drop location once the job is done."

"Acceptable."

The beautiful woman walked away. He hoped she was telling the truth. It had been too long since he had been able to fully test his skills.

* * *

"Hey! Did you get all the stuff?" called Gaige.

"Yep, the best of Central rations." Replied Axton.

"How would you know what's the best around here?"

"Well, that's what the shopkeep said, anyway."

Gaige rolled her eyes.

"Come on, let's blow this joint."

Axton went over to the ticket stand, and got tickets for the next train headed north. It was set to arrive in 15 minutes.

"We didn't grow a tail, I assume?" asked Axton.

"Not that I saw. Though it's kind of hard to see if someone's following you in a place you're not used to yet."

"I get you. Just do your best, ok?"

"Right."

Soon their train pulled up, and they boarded. They found a pair of seats far away from where anyone else was sitting.

"I can't believe our luck! Finding this is a huge break." Said Gaige.

"Hey, keep it down! We're not clear yet."

"Oh come on, no one tailed us and no one is sitting closeby."

"Fine. At the very least, we should be able to find some new guns there. Though we might just find a pile of wreckage."

"Even if it is, we might be able to salvage the black box from it, and that could tell us where we are."

"True, but those things are pretty heavily encrypted. How would we get in?"

"Psh, you forget you're talking to the Mechromancer, the greatest hacker who ever lived!"

"How could I forget, oh great and mighty one?"

"Hey, you don't have to patronize me!"

"You're no fun."

The train lurched out of the station, and headed north.

* * *

Back at the hotel, Ed knocked on the door to the Vault Hunters room.

"Hello! Anyone in there?"

No reply.

"That's strange. They don't really have anywhere to go."

Ed tried the door and found it unlocked. There was no one here, but the window was open. Strange, It was well past dark and the chill from the draft was rather strong. Ed shut the window and left the room. Sergeant Brosh walked up the hall.

"Hey, you seen where those two went? I wanted to ask em something."

"Who me? I um.. No! Haven't seen them at all!"

"Ok, what are you hiding Sergeant?"

"N-Nothing! Gottagonowbye!"

He dashed off down the hall.

"Well that was weird."

* * *

Back in East City, an explosion rocked the sewer tunnels, leading to a collapse that stretched out to the river.

"Hmm. He was intriguing. It's a shame I did not get to finish him." Said the hitman.

"I didn't get my snack!" pouted Gluttony.

The hitman did not care for this gluttony creature. Whatever he was, it wasn't human. The hitman just hoped that he would still get paid for this. Otherwise it might be time to move on. Speaking of moving on, MP's were starting to arrive at the scene. It was time to disappear.

* * *

Gaige and Axton got off the train, and stood in a sleepy small town. The clock at the station read 9:45pm.

"It's too bad we got a late start. Let's see if we can find a hotel and set off in the morning." Said Axton.

"I call the bath first!"

"We gotta find somewhere to stay first."

They wandered around the small town, looking for an inn. It didn't take long to find one. The sign identified it as the Cursed Crocodile.

"What kind of name is Cursed Crocodile?" Said Gaige.

"Would you rather camp outside tonight?"

"Cursed Crocodile it is."

They walked into the log cabin like structure. There was a front desk, a bar on the right, and a lounge with a fireplace to the left. Axton approached the desk.

"Evening, madam. My companion and I would like a room for the night."

"Certainly sir. Would you like the normal room or the lover's suite?"

"Pardon?"

"The lover's suite! We're rather known for it. People come from all around for this place's rustic charm. It includes a king size bed, Champaign service, and a ticket to our hot spring."

"Were not-! He's just a friend!" Gaige stammered, flushing red.

"The normal suite will be fine, ma'am. But what was that about a hot spring?"

"We're quite famous for it. It's a natural hot spring fed by an underground river. It's an additional 1000 cenz for the pair of you."

"Yeah, we'll do that."

"That brings your total to 3000 cenz."

Axton took the money out of his SDU. The bounty money was nearly gone. That guy hadn't been worth that much, after all. He paid the clerk, and she showed them to their room. When she left the room, he felt a pain in his right arm.

"Ow! What did you hit me for?"

"Why'd you blow the money on the hot spring! You trying to start something?"

"I just figured that after all you've been through it would be nice for you to get to relax for once. As for me, I intend to hit the bar while you're in there."

"You're not going to have anything left at this rate."

"So? I just gotta waste another of those scumbag's leaders and I'll be golden!"

"It's not exactly like we know where they are, you know."

"They seem to have done a pretty good job at finding us, so far."

"Heh, true enough. It's almost like someone's putting them in our path for us to mow down."

"Yeah, they're the only thing here that makes it feel like Pandora. Except not as hard. Well have fun, kid."

"I told you I'm not a kid!"

"Sorry. You're right. Have fun Lady Gaige, Master of all things Mechanical."

"Just go get smashed will you!"

"Will do."

After Axton left to find a beer, Gaige looked around the small room. She found a towel in the bathroom, and some soap. She stripped down, wrapped the towel around herself, and grabbed the hot springs token and the room key from her pocket. Grabbing the soap as well, she walked down to the gate to the hot spring, inserted her token, and pushed the gate open.

It was roughly 50 feet wide by 100 feet long, irregularly shaped curves ran through its edge. A 10 foot high fence surrounded the spring on all sides, and there were no partitions in the spring. Gaige noticed something sitting next to one of the nooks in the spring. She got closer and saw it was a silver bucket filled with half melted ice, and a half drunk bottle of Champaign. She set down her stuff next to the bucket, took off her towel, folded it, and set it next to the other items. The Mechromancer slid slowly into the hot spring, taking a moment to adjust to the heat.

"Damn, this is pretty good. Maybe Axton had the right idea."

Speaking of Axton, he was getting drunk right now. Moxxi hadn't let her drink, other than the one time she had to get into the Zafford's wake. She made it pretty clear that was an exception to the rule. Well, there was no one to stop her now, and from the looks of things the owners of the bottle had abandoned it… She took a swig from the bottle, as there were no glasses. A couple more swigs later, she had a good buzz going on.

"Ok, I could get used to this…"

Gaige felt the tension in her shoulders that she didn't know she had disappear. Come to think of it, she had more or less on alert ever since the science fair. She put her arms on the edge of the pool, put her head back, and stared at the moon.

"-at you, Gaige?"

"Huh?"

"I said is that you Gaige? I see a patch of red in the darkness." Gaige was far enough away that was all that he could see.

"Yeah, it's me."

Gaige saw him turn around.

"Surprised you're still here. Taking our time again?"

"What time is it?"

"2240 hours. Or 10:40 civilian."

"I fell asleep here, I guess."

"Want me to come back in a few minutes?"

"No, you don't have to do that. Let me put my towel on. Peek and you die."

"Understood. I'm not in the mood for maiming by killer robot."

Gaige climbed out of the spring and wrapped her towel around herself. True to his word, Axton faced away from her the entire time.

"Ok."

Axton walked over, with only a towel around his waist. He saw the mostly empty Champaign bottle on the ground.

"I see you found your own libations."

"Finders keepers, and all that."

Gaige surprised Axton by getting back in the spring with the towel on.

"Won't that make getting dry difficult?"

"There's more towels in the room, right? No big deal."

Axton joined her, sitting across from her in a semi-circle nook of the spring.

"Thanks, by the way." Said Gaige.

"What for?"

"For not being a pervert."

"That's not like me. And you could have phrased that differently."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know, "Thanks for being a gentleman?""

"A gentleman would have paid for my automail."

"Ouch. Touché."

"I mean it though. I wouldn't trust Sal to do that."

"Agreed. You never know with him."

"However…"Gaige took the last swig of the Champaign. "I would show Zer0 the goods if it meant he'd take his off."

"Didn't know you liked him."

"No, not like that. Just to see what the heck he _is_."

"Heh, I get yah. Though I wouldn't be surprised if he had no reaction at all if you tried it."

"And that would just make him more mysterious!"

"Or gay."

"Eh, that too."

"I have to say, this was a good idea. I've stopped hurting in places I didn't know hurt."

"Yeah, these things are great. Gets rid of all kinds of stress. On the few occasions me and my ex-wife got R&R, we made it a point to go to at least 1 hot spring."

"Your wife? You sure you're not up to anything?"

"Scouts honor. Though, I would be a liar if I said that I didn't enjoy the company of a beautiful young girl."

Axton expected to get smacked for that comment, possibly with the metal arm. But instead she just smiled at him, flushed. He couldn't tell if the flush was from the hotspring, the alcohol, or something else.

"See? You ARE trying to flirt with me. And I LEIK it."

Ok, she was drunk. It probably didn't take too much as she wasn't a drinker.

"I thought you hated it when I complimented you on that stuff. I have the bruises to prove it!

"Not right now. I don't see any bruises, I just see abs and They. Are. Spec-TAC-ullrr!"

Definitely drunk. She had never hit on him before. It was probably best to get off the topic. Axton pulled himself out of the spring with his hands, and grabbed the soap Gaige brought along, and started lathering himself.

"That's not hot or anything you know. *hic*"

Axton wondered if she'd even remember this in the morning. He heard Gaige get out of the spring. She surprised him by taking the soap from him.

"What are you doing?"

"Washing your back for you."

"I'm a big boy, I can do it myself."

"Just shut up and let me do it will you?"

Gaige used the bar of soap to lather up his back. He wondered if she was like this just from the alcohol. Then again, Alcohol is an inhibition suppressant, so a part of her wanted to do this, probably. _Easy boy, you're thinking dangerous things again. _Axton told himself.

"All done. Wait just a sec though."

Gaige dumped the ice out of the bucket and filled it with spring water, and poured it over Axton.

"There you go, one clean Commando." Said Gaige with a huge smile.

"Thank you miss. I do believe I feel refreshed. It's getting late, we should get some sleep. I want to head out bright and early tomorrow."

"Kay." He grabbed the room key and the soap, while Gaige walked to the exit.

He was walking behind her when Gaige tripped, falling flat on her face. The sopping wet towel couldn't hold its fold together in the back, and came flying open. Axton was confronted of the image of a naked Mechromancer lying face down on the pavement.

"Hey, you ok?" he asked with concern.

"Ow. My face."

"You're not supposed to try to hug the ground."

"I'll keep that in mind next time." Gaige felt a breeze on her backside, and her face went an even brighter shade of red.

"H..Hey! Don't look at me!"

"I didn't see anything but back, I promise." He re-wrapped the towel around her, and helped her sit up.

"Can you stand?"

"I don't think so. Little help?"

Axton slowly helped her to her feet, and put her on his back in a piggyback carry. He slowly walked out of the hot spring and to their room. He could feel her chest heaving on his back with her breathing. Axton was feeling a bit conflicted. If he were really honest with himself, he would say that she had quite an attractive figure. But he also saw her as not just a friend, but somewhat of a daughter. Not that he was old enough to be her dad, but he had somewhat taken up that role since her own father couldn't be with her. Most of him just wanted to protect her. A smaller part, mostly the drunk part, wanted to take her to the bed and take the towel off her. But he could never forgive himself if he did that seeing as both of their judgments were impaired right now, not that he was really considering it. Before he could sort out his feelings, he wanted her to tell him how she felt without a bottle of Champaign in her.

But she was a bit shy for that, so it might take some time. But Axton was a patient man. No matter what she told him, he would stand by her. That's what he resolved to himself as he opened the door to the room, walked into the bathroom, and set Gaige down, sitting on the toilet.

"There we go. Think you can handle the rest?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

He grabbed a dry towel from the rack, and walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He dried off and got dressed. Gaige walked back out in a few minutes wearing only her underwear, a set of black and white striped panties and bra that matched her stockings. Axton averted his gaze.

"I know, I know, but I don't have any pajamas. I don't really feel like wearing my clothes to bed."

She had a good point. All of them only really had the one change of clothes most of the time. They should probably try to get some changes of clothing once they had more cash.

Gaige pulled the covers over herself in her twin bed. "Ok, you can look now."

Axton climbed into bed.

"Goodnight, Gaige."

"'Night Mr. Sexy Abs."

Axton turned off the light.

His Echo alarm woke them at 0830 hours the next morning.

"Mffh. I don't wanna go to school, I want to stay home with you daddy…"

Never an early riser, huh? "Hey, Gaige. Wake up. We gotta get a move on."

"Urgh. My head. What happened?"

"That's what happens when you try to drink a bottle of Champaign by yourself."

Gaige sat up in bed and scratched her side. It took her a moment to realize something was missing.

"Hey! Why am I in my underwear!?" She shouted at Axton.

"Don't look at me. That was your choice."

"I-It is not!" She quickly pulled the covers over herself. Axton tossed her clothes to her. She got dressed under the sheets.

"I assume you don't remember last night, then?"

"No. I didn't do anything embarrassing right?!"

"There was an incident with a back scrubbing I rather enjoyed." He decided the tripping episode would be a bit too much to tease her with.

Gaige flushed red again. "Perv. You have better not done anything weird."

"Come on, you know I'm a gentleman." Yeah, she was back to her old self.

Gaige finished dressing, and they went to breakfast together. As they ate, Axton noticed a military uniform sitting a few tables away, back turned to him. Odd, they were in the middle of nowhere comparatively speaking. The pair quickly finished eating and checked out.

"How's the hangover?" asked Axton.

"Better, now that I have some food in me. How come you don't have one? You started drinking before I did."

"I held myself to two beers. Next time you won't chug from the bottle, right?"

"Lesson learned. So, where to from here?"

"I put the country map into the Echo's mapping system and added the crash site as a waypoint. We can just follow that. West, for now."

"West it is! Lead on."

They made good time walking, only stopping for a brief lunch and a few bathroom breaks. The countryside scenery was gorgeous, Pine trees were everywhere, and grass covered the hillsides. In the distance they could just make out a peak of a mountain, their destination. They were roughly half way there as dusk fell, proving Axton's estimate accurate.

"Ok, let's make camp here for the night." Said Axton.

"I'm beat. How do you military types march like this?"

"With the threat of pushups on top of it when you're done if you don't keep up."

"Remind me never to enlist. I'll go get us some firewood."

"Ok. I'll pitch tents then."

Axton reached into his backpack, and retrieved a pair of small SDUs, and tossed them on the grass. Two small tents digistructed onto the grassland. They had Dahl printed on the side of them.

"Sure beats the old fashioned way."

Axton took out a few cans from his pack for dinner, and he collected stones for the fire pit. He used his axe to cut away a 4 foot by 4 foot square of sod, and laid out the stones in a ring. Gaige retuned with several twigs in her arms.

"Found kindling. No fallen trees nearby for logs though."

"Guess we'll have to do it ourselves, then."

Axton found a small oak tree, and started chopping it with his hand axe. Not pine, as it had volatile oils in it that produced fumes when burnt that aren't good to inhale. It was slow going, as his axe was rather small. Suddenly the tree fell over.

"You were taking too long."

Gaige had used one of her digistructed claws to cleanly slice the tree down. She cut a few logs and gathered them under her arm, with Axton carrying the rest. They piled the logs in a tee-pee style in the pit, and laid the kindling around the base. Axton drew his Seraphim, and fired a burst at the kindling. The incendiary rounds ignited the kindling, and he stored his weapon. With a bit of careful management, in a few minutes they had a roaring fire. Axton pulled another digistruct module from his pack, and a spit with a pot hanging from it appeared.

"Nice of Dahl to volunteer that stuff when you left." Said Gaige.

"Standard survival equipment for commandos who are deployed to wild areas. Certainly beats lugging around physical copies of it."

Gaige took a can of pork and beans, opened it with her claw, and poured it into the pot. The sun had set by the time it finished cooking. Axton digistructed a set of plates and utensils and served it. He took a roll of bread from his pack, and broke off half for Gaige.

"It's really beautiful out here, huh?" said Gaige, staring at the stars and the countryside.

"It reminds me of the highlands. Though I haven't had to shoot a stalker yet." Replied Axton.

"Heh, it is a bit boring, but at least nothing's tried to eat us yet, and the only people trying to kill us have terrible guns."

"Hell, I considered arming them myself just to make it more fun."

"I know, right? Bolt action rifles are so three centuries ago. Not that Jakobs got that message."

"Bah. Could never stand them. High damage doesn't mean squat if you're next shot is as accurate as you on an Anarchy high."

"Hey, remember that time I tried a Jakobs shotgun with like 400 anarchy?" Gaige laughed.

"How could I forget? Your pellets _flew backwards_ and hit my shield! Still trying to figure out how you did that."

"Psh, Anarchy doesn't follow laws, especially ones as lame as physics."

They heard a rustling in a nearby bush.

"Who's there? Identify yourself!" Axton stood and drew his Seraphim again. Gaige followed suit and chose her plasma caster.

No reply. "Come out now, or we open fire!"

"Wait! Don't shoot. I'm coming out."

Out of the bush appeared a blue military uniform.

"Lieutenant Ross?" asked Gaige.

"Hi there?"

"Lieutenant, what are you doing here?" asked Axton, rifle still at the ready.

"Brosh told me what happened at the Observatory. I decided you guys were suspicious and decided to follow you."

"How did you follow us? We were checking for tails." Asked Gaige.

"It wasn't easy. You guys are pretty good, but I have home field advantage. That, and you kinda dropped your guard once you got on the train."

Gaige looked rather sheepish. It _was_ her idea to relax on the train.

"So, what happens now Lieutenant?" asked Axton.

"I'm not here to arrest you, if that's what you're asking. I just want to make sure you're not up to anything that will cause problems for the Elrics or the military."

Axton lowered his weapon, and Gaige did the same.

"So, who are you guys, Really? And why the interest in a meteor?"

"Lieutenant, why don't you join us for dinner? This will take awhile."

They sat down around the fire. Axton and Gaige took turns explaining their story.

"So what you're saying is that you and Gaige are aliens? From outer space."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"And that you think it wasn't a meteor, but a space ship?"

"That's the long and short of it." Said Gaige.

"Oh brother, I've landed in an extra special case of crazy. I thought alchemists were bad."

"So, are you satisfied? Can we finish our trip in peace?"

"Not yet. I don't believe you guys. I want to see this "Spaceship" for myself."

Axton shrugged. "If you want to tag along, fine. Just don't try to stop us."

Axton digistructed a third tent for Ross.

"That was… amazing! That wasn't alchemy was it?"

"See? We told you. Aliens." Said Gaige, sarcastically.

The three of them climbed into the tents and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, they broke camp and resumed their journey. They kept up the same relentless pace, and Ross stayed with them. As dusk once again rolled around, the mountain the map had pointed out had gotten quite large. However, their echo's showed an area objective as it couldn't pull a precise location from the map.

"We still have some daylight left. Want to search some before making camp?" Asked Axton.

"Yeah, I can keep going. How about we climb up a bit, we might spot it from up there."

"Good call."

They hiked up the mountain a bit, looking for any signs of disturbance. As the light faded, they were about to abandon their search for the night. Then Ross spotted something on the horizion.

"Hey, are those headlights?"

A pair of small lights was approaching their position.

"All the way out here? It's nothing but wilderness." Said Axton.

They watched it get closer, then turn to their left.

"I say we follow it. It seems rather suspicious for a car to be all the way out here." Said Gaige.

"Agreed."

They followed it on the ridge above it, at first following its brake lights, and then the sound of the engine as it got too far. As they were losing it, over the next hill they saw light. After another half hour of walking, they crested that hill and saw the source.

"Whoa. They got an entire camp out here!" exclaimed Gaige.

The lights were from several spotlights and streetlamps powered by generators. A large fence surrounded the compound, with a guardhouse visible at the gate. A pair of guard towers was positioned at the corners of the fence. Several prefabricated buildings were visible inside the perimeter. At the back of the camp was the mountainside, and on the mountainside was their quarry. The distinctive yellow hull of a Hyperion cruiser was lit by several spotlights, the front of it was blackened by scorch marks.

"Brosh told me they had a team investigating it, but I didn't expect all this." Said Ross.

Axton held up his sighting device to his eye, and used its magnification feature.

"It looks like there's a problem."

"What is it, Ax?"

"The gate guard has a red armband on."

"You mean there are rebels here? This is bad. We need to call in backup!" said Ross.

"That won't be necessary Lieutenant. We have plenty of manpower to handle this ourselves."

"Are you crazy? What can one soldier and a little girl do?"

"This little girl is more than capable of handling herself, thank you very much. Ready to have some fun, Ax?"

"Hell, I was getting bored of not shooting stuff. Even if they are easy, you gotta practice on something!"

"I can't believe this. You're both mental. They have to be at least 50 guys down there!"

"Man, this will be really boring then, won't it? Oh well." Shrugged Gaige.

"I'm not going in there. Its suicide!"

"Suit yourself. Probably best you stay back anyway." Said Axton.

Axton and Gaige walked calmly toward the guardhouse.

"Just what have I gotten myself into?" Ross asked herself.

"Excuse me, me and my friend here lost our vehicle. Big yellow spaceship, you seen it?" Gaige asked the gate guard.

"What the..? This is a Rebel Military instillation! No civilians!"

"We won't be long; we just want to have a look around!"

"No! Now leave!"

"Pleeeasse?"

The guard reached for his radio. "Intruders at the front gate! All men to your-"

He didn't get to say stations, as Axton shot him in the head with the Seraphim.

"Come on, we asked nicely! How _rude_ of you to call your friends on us!" scolded Gaige to the corpse.

A siren sounded in the camp, and they could see soldiers scrambling about.

"Looks like we get to do this the fun way. Ready Mechromancer?"

"I'm ready if you are, Commando."

"Let's get to work then!"

They ran to the center of the camp, in between the prefabbed buildings that they assumed were barracks. They took a back to back stance, weapons at the ready, Gaige with the Shock Dahl Plasma Caster, and Axton his Dahl Deep Seraphim. Soldiers poured out of the buildings, and quickly surrounded them with rifles drawn.

One of the soldiers spoke up. Looked like a Sergeant if Axton had to guess.

"We have you surrounded! Throw down your weapons and surrender."

"See, there's a problem with that." Said Gaige.

"And what would that be?"

"This is a trap. We let you surround us."

"A trap? What kind of trap involves you being outnumbered and outgunned?"

"Outnumbered? Yes. Outgunned? Hell no."

"I think it's time we even the numbers a bit, don't you Gaige?"

"I think you're right Axton."

Gaige raised her left arm, and Axton threw one of his turrets in front of him, and the other he attached to the hull of the ship.

"What the… What the heck are those things?"

"Your worst nightmares!" Gaige and Axton replied in unison.

"Now! Tear em up babe!" they both said.

The turrets and DT went to work, and Gaige threw a StormFront grenade in front of her at the circle of soldiers. It deployed and quickly killed 7 men. Both of the Vault hunters opened fire.

"Return fire! Return fire!"

The soldiers did as commanded, and poured fire into the pair.

"What? We hit them! Why aren't they hurt?!" asked he bewildered Sergeant.

Deathtrap floated over to the man, and sliced him in half.

Ross watched the battle from afar. She could hardly believe her eyes as the Vault hunters allowed themselves to be captured. What were they thinking? Her disbelief deepened as she saw them wipe out the soldiers surrounding them in under 20 seconds.

"Just what the hell are those two?"

More soldiers poured out from their barracks. Deathtrap had a group of 5 on the run, while Axton's high turret picked off any soldier stupid enough to peek his head out of cover. Axton himself made his way to a barracks on the far side of the compound. He easily dispatched solders along the way with quick bursts from the Seraphim. Sprinting to the door way, he cracked the door open and peeked inside and saw there were at least 20 guys in there, rifles aimed at the door. An ambush, huh?

"I've got a present for yah!"

Axton threw a Meteor Shower in through the crack, and ran like hell.

5 seconds later, a tremendous roar tore through the valley as the flimsy plywood structure was obliterated by the power of the MIRV grenade.

Gaige met similarly little resistance on her half of the compound. She had to be more careful than Axton, as her shield was damaged, and if she were attacked with a melee strike, she would be defenseless. The soldiers that had survived the initial attacks had gotten smarter, and were sticking to cover. Rather than waste ammo going for close enough shots, Gaige decided to have some fun with em. She switched to her new Thunderball Fists.

"Hey George! We never did get to play together before. Time to go to work!"

Gaige shot the wall next to where a rebel was hiding. The shot impacted, and a small ball of electricity rose, and descended on the man, exploding violently. Small chunks of his body streaked from behind his former cover.

"Dang! Momma likes!"

The other soldiers were soon dealt with in similarly gory ways. Gaige was about to finish off the last of them when she saw a sock on a stick being waived around.

"The hell? Is that supposed to be a white flag?"

The sock waiver threw down his gun, and slowly came out from behind cover.

"We surrender! Please don't kill us."

"Well, this is different. Not used to people actually giving up. Sometimes they say they will but attack anyway."

"We mean it, please! We're your prisoners."

Four more men slowly emerged from cover. Part of her was still mad at her welcome to this planet by this group. But logic told her that they had nothing to do with that. Plus, she had never had prisoners before. This could be fun.

"All right! Throw down your guns, knives, grenades, anything like that."

The men did as she commanded. A girl could get used to this…

"Single file. March to the front gate." Gaige swapped to her Vladof Blaster for intimidation value. The men marched as they were told, with Gaige walking behind them, rifle aimed at their backs.

When they arrived at the gate she commanded them to sit down. Gaige put her hands to her mouth and shouted.

"HEY LIEUTENANT ROSS! COME HERE!"

It took a few minutes, but she appeared in the light of the camp.

"What's up?"

"Got a couple of new friends for you. You're armed, right?"

Ross nodded.

"Keep these gentlemen entertained until we get back."

"Right. Be careful."

Gaige ran off to rejoin the fray. Not that there was much resistance left, Axton had taken care of most of them. She dispatched a stray or two, and rejoined him.

"Looks like we're all done. Kinda was hoping for more, really." said Axton.

"We did get a consolation prize. Couple of gents decided they would like to call me master. Ross is babysitting them."

"Your first POW's, huh? Congrats."

They made their way to the Hyperion ship in the back of the compound. The door in its side was sealed shut. Before they could attempt to open it, a voice interrupted them.

"Who are you two? You come all the way out here and slaughter my men?"

"We could ask the same of you, buddy."

"My name is Nikola Ampere. Also known as the Voltage Alchemist!"

* * *

**Authors Notes: Blarg, still a bit sick. Not as bad as it was though. Got our chapter length back! Also this chapter contained more fanservice than I initially was going to include. I REGRET NOTHING. Except for maybe that the fight will have to be next time. Oh well. I also kinda lampshaded the fact that he resistance's only reason for existing is for the Vault Hunters to have some cannon fodder to waste, lol. They probably won't be around for too much longer though.**

**And if the observatory staff seems familiar, you have probably been watching space brothers, lol.**


	10. Chapter 10:High Explosives & Electricity

Nikola Ampere wore the blue uniform of the Amestrian military, with a Brigadier General's star on the shoulder pads, and the red armband with a hydra on it that was standard for the rebels. He wore thick rubber gloves that covered his forearms. He had black, but graying hair, with white streaks running through it. It sat in a poufy mess atop his head. He had a wide, zigzagging mustache, and blue eyes. He was short and stocky, but taller and leaner than Salvador. In his right hand he held a metal staff with a polished ball on the end, and on the ball was a transmutation circle. He spoke in a deep, holier than thou voice.

"So, I'll ask you again. Who are you two, and why did you kill my men?"

"I'm Axton."

"I'm Gaige, Mechromancer at your service."

"As to why? Your colleges have been ah, "hospitable" to us in the past. Also, I got paid last time I bagged one of your MFIC's. Was kind of hoping to repeat that performance." Explained Axton.

"So, you are enemies of our cause. But why are you here? This place is very remote. I doubt you'd come all the way out here for the sole reason of attacking us."

"We came to retrieve something that belongs to us. Well, kinda. It belongs to our enemies, and we like to take their stuff." Said Gaige, hitching her thumb over her shoulder at the ship.

"What exactly is your guy's cause anyway? We never did find that out." Asked Axton.

"They wanted us to work weekends and holidays! Can you imagine? We're not even at war at the moment!"

"…Seriously? THAT'S your reason?! Wow, Riza was right, you guys are lazy." Said Gaige, dumbstruck.

"You killed my men, are here to steal our prize and insult our work ethic? I think I've heard enough. Now… TASTE THE LIGHTNING OF MY ROD!"

Ampere aimed his staff at the duo, and an electric bolt shot forth. They leapt forward and apart in opposite directions away from the ship at the last millisecond, dodging it.

"Not bad! You have to be quick to dodge lighting!"

"Can't say we didn't get hit. That took a nasty bite out of my shield. And you really could have phrased that better!" Said Gaige.

"Mine nearly broke. Damn, shock attacks and The Sham don't mix…" added Axton.

The pair of them took up flanking positions on either side of Ampere.

"A shield you say? Perhaps you won't fry instantly like all my other victims. This might actually be fun!" Ampere let out a cackling mad bout of laughter.

"A mad scientist type? Oh great." Said Gaige, eyes rolling.

"Look who's talking, Ms Robot building, Anarchy god complexing engineer!" rebuked Axton.

"Sh-Shutup! At least I'm not as stereotypical as this guy!"

"Are you done? I'd like to get back to killing you guys!" Ampere fired a bolt at Gaige directly in front of him. She dodged again, again barley in time.

"We were talking, you know. How _rude_!" The Mechromancer fired a volley from her Vladof Shock Blaster at Ampere.

Ampere gave a slight smile, and all the bolts were attracted to his staff. The electricity flowed down his staff and dissipated in the ground.

You could have knocked over Gaige with a feather. "Wha…How'd you do that?!"

"My girl, did you really think I let my men die for nothing? I was observing your battle. Somehow, you are able to charge your guns with electricity. I manipulate the ions in the atmosphere to create a path of least resistance for my lightning. Reversing the process is simple child's play!"

"Why you… Take this!" Gaige switched to her plasma caster, and fired a burst. The same thing happened, and the attack was negated.

"Did you really think trying the same thing would produce a different result? Foolish girl."

"I _hate_ electric immune types. So annoying. Yo, Axton! You planning on helping me out or are you gonna scratch your ass the entire time?"

"You looked like you were having fun with our new friend here."

"Will you stop goofing off and kill this S.O.B. already!?"

"Fine, fine. Pardon me for wanting to see an alchemist in action!"

Axton raised his rifle and aimed at Ampere's head.

"Say goodnight!" Axton fired.

Ampere remained standing.

"Hey Ax! What's the big idea? If I wasn't registered friendly you would have shot me!" fumed Gaige.

"Huh? I wasn't aiming at you."

Axton fired another burst. A metallic clang game from the sound of bullets pinging off the metal hull of the ship. Ampere remained unharmed.

"…The hell?"

"Bwahahahaha! You should see the look on your face, soldier boy!" gloated Ampere.

"Ok, what's going on you bastard?" fumed Axton.

"Did you really think I'd challenge two people who slaughtered an entire platoon by themselves without some way to deal with bullets?"

"Not gonna tell us how, huh? We'll just have to beat it out of you then!" Axton pulled out his turret pods again. He threw one to his left, back towards the camp. The other one he threw high on the hull of the ship, surrounding Ampere in a diamond shape.

"Ah, yes, your gun stations. Quite the nice little toys."

Both turrets opened fire. The bullets curved away from Ampere, and not a single one hit their mark.

"I told you, bullets won't work!"

The turrets started their rocket barrage. Ampere jumped backwards out of the way, and created an eclectic field by holding up his staff horizontally. Twenty feet from him, the rockets started exploding prematurely.

"As I thought. I can detonate the fuses with a strong current!"

Ampere fired a bolt at the grounded turret to the left. Upon striking, sparks flew from the turret, smoke rising. The current overloaded its circuits, and a rocket detonated in its pod, destroying the turret.

The Brigadier General sent a stream of current into the hull of the cruiser. Sparks leapt off its surface in all directions, until they reached the gun platform. The electricity seemed to do nothing at first. But suddenly, the turret fell off its base, collapsing to the ground. The base remained fixed to the hull. Unable to rotate or aim, the gun fired off aimlessly into the air.

"I understand blowing up my turret, but what did you do the second one?" asked Axton.

"It was clear your turrets used electromagnetism to stick them to surfaces. It was a simple matter to interrupt that current with one of my own."

"Should have seen that one coming… Then again it's never happened to me before. Props on that."

"Are you two quite finished? I can negate all your attacks. Surrender and I might have mercy on you."

"He don't know us very well, do he?" Said Gaige in a bad Asian accent.

She raised her arm, and Deathtrap appeared. DT Bucked backwards, and a stream of electricity shot from his eye.

"I told you, it's useless!" Ampere attracted the attack with his staff, and redirected it back at DT with extra juice of his own. Poor DT was overloaded, and emergency deconstructed.

"Kuso! Take this!" Gaige threw a Storm Front grenade at Ampere. The electricity was again attracted to the rod, and he remained unaffected.

"*Yawn* I grow tired of this. Are you ever going to reach me?" Ampere scratched his chin and stared at the increasingly frustrated Mechromancer.

Axton drew a grenade of his own and tossed it at the Alchemist. He shot a small bolt at the slowly homing grenade, and it exploded, but did not fire off its child grenades properly.

"I was hoping for a good battle, but you people are boring me to death!"

Axton tried switching to his Dahl Minigun. _Maybe I could overload this effect with sheer volume. _Thought Axton. He dumped an entire magazine at his target, pulling the trigger as rapidly has he could.

Lead showered everywhere but at the target, causing divots in the dirt, ricochets off the hull of the ship, and a few rounds landing too close for Gaige's comfort.

"Just give it up already! Why can't you get it through your simpleton brains that you lost the moment you faced me?"

"You know, you're reminding of someone we killed. Someone I'd rather _forget_!" Gaige drew her hammer, and charged the alchemist head on.

"No! Don't do it, your shield..!" called Axton.

It was too late. Gaige was running headlong at the General, screaming like a crazy woman. She swung down heard, and a tremendous clang rang out as the hammer dented the staff Ampere used to block with.

"Impressive automail to dent it so easily! But that won't be enough!" Ampere shoved Gaige back slightly, and then delivered a nasty uppercut with the staff. The ball of it caught Gaige in the gut. The shock spike shield did its jobs protecting Gaige from the worst and shocking Ampere. However, it could not stop momentum, and Gaige flew back ten feet, rolling around the ground. Ampere convulsed from the shock, and fell to his knees.

"Gaige!" cried Axton.

She slowly got to her knees, gasping for air.

"I'm ok. He just knocked the wind out of me."

Ampere was in a similar state to Gaige.

"Not bad, Girl. That was some trick!"

"How… How are you still standing? That should have knocked out most normal people!" wondered Gaige.

"I'm an electrical Alchemist, remember? Transmuting my body to redirect the flow away from my heart was simple enough. Now, I tire of this."

Ampere got up, and aimed his staff at Gaige. _This is bad; her shield is still down from the malfunction! _Axton thought to himself.

"Now, DIE!"

Gaige's eyes filled with the glow of an approaching blue bolt of plasma. She was still on her knees, unable to dodge in time. She stared at it, frozen in the strange beauty of her doom.

* * *

Lieutenant Ross watched the battle from afar at the front gate. The lightning lit up the night sky, and the gunfire echoing off the hull of the ship sounded like thunder. "Just who are they fighting?"

"That's our boss." Said one of the prisoners.

"Yeah, he's gonna fry your friends!"

"Who is he?" asked Ross.

"The Voltage Alchemist."

"The Brigadier General?!"

"That's him!"

"Be careful guys…"

* * *

The bolt seemed to explode in front of her. After the glow subsided, she could see Axton's form twitching before her.

"Ax..ton? Why?"

Axton had rushed to get ahead of the attack and blocked it himself. His comparatively flimsy shield shattered easily at the overwhelming electrical attack, leaving his body to take the brunt of the damage.

"I can't have… you die before me! I plan to live… forever, so no dying… before I do, got it!?" Axton said in ragged, shallow breaths. His hair stood on end, and his uniform was charred from where the bolt struck his chest.

"Now get up and fight! That's an _order_!"

"Yes Sir!" Gaige took orders from no one, but this is one exception she'd make. She stood, and fired her plasma caster at the hull of the ship, planning to take Ampere by surprise with a Close Enough round.

The rounds were absorbed by the rod again.

"I'm wise to that trick as well."

Gaige swapped to the Thunderball Fists. It was the only gun she hadn't tried save Riza's pistol, but she didn't think that would do anything.

Gaige fired. The round went wide from her Anarchy high, but did not curve, and nicked Ampere's sleeve. Nikola's normally stoic expression was replaced by one of surprise. Gaige fired again, but this time the bullet curved.

"Gotcha."

"I do believe you missed me both times." Rebutted Ampere.

"Not that. How you've been deflecting our attacks. I had a theory on how you were doing it. My first shot just confirmed it." Said Gaige.

"Oh? Please do share."

"You were expecting my first shot to be a pure electrical attack, like my blaster and plasma caster are. So you prepared your absorption defense. Except, the fists aren't an E-tech gun. They use normal bullets charged with electricity. So that defense failed. So you switched to your second defense."

"And what do you think that is?"

"Magnetism. Or, to be more precise, an electromagnetic field. You repel the rounds with the field, causing them to fly off in all directions."

Ampere said nothing and stared at the girl.

"Damn, that's my little scientist. Badass job figuring that out!" Praised Axton.

"No. It isn't."

"Come again?"

"What he's doing should be impossible. I remember seeing an echocast show, I forget the name… bustmythers? Anyway, they proved what he's doing is impossible without a freaking huge electromagnet. And I mean at least shipping container size. So for this guy to do what he's doing, he has a scary amount of power available."

"Hah. Hahahahah. _**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_ Very good girl! I've never let anyone live long enough to analyze my powers, let alone have anyone figure them out! As a reward, I'll let you in on my secret!"

Ampere reached into his coat, and retrieved a small object. A small round red stone appeared in his fingers.

"You two don't look like you're from around here, so I'll explain! This… Is a philosopher's stone! It amplifies alchemical powers considerably! Just as creation and destruction are two sides of the same coin, so are electricity and magnetism! With this stone, my powers are unstoppable!"

"Philosopher's stone? Isn't that what the Elric's are looking for?" asked Axton.

"Ah, so you have heard of it!"

"Oh. Crap." Stuttered Gaige.

"What is it? I don't know that much about the stone, but it can't be that bad, right?" Asked Axton.

"Not that. I just realized something."

"That is?"

"If he can use electromagnetism to create a repelling field, he can reverse the polarity…"

"…To create an attraction field? Is that what you were going to say?"

Ampere smiled devilishly, and twirled his staff above his head, and slammed it into the ground. He did exactly that, and all the metal in front of him stared flying towards him. Axton's dog tags floated off his chest, and tried to join Ampere. It took all he had to hold on to his assault rifle. Gaige managed to keep her grip on the fists with her organic right hand, but her left arm was being pulled towards Ampere. Both of them planted their feet to try to not be dragged away. Gaige could feel her arm ripping out of its socket, metal trying to separate from flesh. Small bits of the arm started to break off and fly away. The fingers stared stretching unnaturally.

"That hurts, you fucking bastard..!" Gaige said with tears of pain in her eyes.

"It does look excruciating. But I'm sure that's nothing compared what you did to my men. But the look on your face… is absolutely delicious." Ampere had a twisted grin on his face.

Axton had a tenuous hold on his gun at best. The barrel was aimed at ampere, but he couldn't get a clean shot as it was wobbling all over from the force of the magnetism. It took all his strength and willpower to control it, and line up a shot.

"That's ENOUGH!"

Axton pulled the trigger, and a 9 round burst spayed from the minigun. Ampere deflected the bullets, but was forced to stop pulling to do so.

"Hmm. Smarter than you look, and you keep cool under pressure. Here I thought you were just another jarhead." said Ampere.

"Can it! I don't need the praise of someone who gets off on torturing little girls!" Axton felt his soul burning, hatred welling up, showing in the murder in his eyes.

"My, aren't we the protective one!"

"Axton, calm down!"

"You ok?"

"Can't move the arm right. Damn, and I just got it too…"

"I'm sure Winry can patch you up. But before that, I'm going to murder this son of a bitch."

"Wait! I have a plan."

"Please, as if a plan could outdo my abilities." Scoffed the General.

Gaige stuck her pistol under her armpit, and put her right hand to her ear in a phone shape. It was the hand signal for echo only communication.

"**I need you to circle around, and give me as much suppressing fire as possible."**

"**Why? I tried that already."**

"**I have a theory. Notice that he hasn't shot lightning at us when he has to divert our bullets? If you do that he shouldn't be able to attack."**

"**And you'll make your move?"**

"**Precisely."**

"**Understood. One metal storm coming up!"**

"What are you two whispering about?" Ampere could see their mouths moving, but there was no sound.

"No matter, I'll kill you both now!" A lightning bolt struck where the Vault Hunters were. Keyword: _were_. They easily dodged this time, and Axton began circling around, firing small bursts from his AR.

"You really don't learn do you?"

Gaige returned her pistol to her SDU, and drew her plasma caster. Her arm wasn't working correctly, she could only move it in spastic jerks. Useless for aiming a gun properly, so she rested the SMG on top of her metal arm. She kneeled, pulled the stock into her shoulder and lined up her shot as best she could. Ampere was distracted by Axton. She hoped he stayed that way.

Axton completed his circle, set down his turrets beside him, and unloaded the rest of the magazine at Ampere.

"More won't save you, soldier boy!"

Rather than waste time reloading, Axton switched to the Seraphim and continued his rapid fire. His finger started to pulse from pulling the trigger so much. Bullets sprayed all around the landscape, but none touched Ampere. Whatever Gaige was going to do, she'd better do it soon. He had to reload eventually. Unbeknownst to Axton, a small crack had appeared in the Philosopher's Stone.

Gaige had her shot lined up the best she could under the circumstances, what with the busted arm.

"_Please, let me be right about this."_

Gaige pulled the trigger, and three blue orbs flew toward Ampere.

Axton had run out of ammo in the Seraphim, and had switched to the Hornet. His Dahl allegiance relic seemed to be working, as his magazine size was larger still. He saw Ampere's face go wide with shock, then watched the man fall over forwards, landing flat on his face.

"Suck on that, motherfucker." Gaige stood and walked over to Ampere, and Axton did the same.

He went to collect the stone that had rolled away from the General, only for it to dissolve in his fingers.

"H…How?" gasped the dying alchemist.

"What was it you said about electricity and magnetism? Two sides of the same coin? It's true. You use electricity to cause magnetism, and magnetism to make electricity. Meaning that you can't do both at once."

"Bitch."

Gaige ignored him. "Thus, you couldn't fire lightning at us while using your magnetism to deflect bullets, and you also couldn't absorb electric attacks at the same time. Combine all that, and you had a blind spot."

"Very nice. Remind me to buy you a beer later." Said Axton.

"You're on."

"Now, before you bite it, we have a few questions we'd like you to answer."

"Screw you! Why talk, I'm dead either way!"

"True, but how you die is up to you. You can have a quick and clean death, and we tell people you died valiantly. Or, if you refuse, I can use my first aid training to keep you alive for awhile. Maybe I'll use the heat from Seraphim to cauterize your wounds."

"And I've wanted to test my claim that I could perform surgery with Deathtrap. You could be my first patient!" Beamed Gaige dementedly.

"In any event, it won't feel good. Or you tell us what we want to know, we shoot you in the head, and you go straight to whatever god or entity you believe in."

"…Fine. Ask your questions."

"Why are you in control here?"

"Because I'm a General."

"Not that, smartass. Why are the rebels in control here? We heard the military had control."

"We rebelled shortly after this was discovered. I made sure it was in our hands."

"Are you the leader of the rebellion?"

"No I had a co-conspirator, a Lieutenant General."

"Name?"

"John Doe."

"Funny. Well, it's obvious you won't give that up. Did you enter the ship?"

"No. couldn't get door open. Tried explosives, no luck. Couldn't use alchemy, some metal I've never seen before."

"Last question. Where did you get the stone?

"A bla-"

"Huh? Speak up."

"A Black haired-…"

"Come on, talk to me here!"

No response.

"Really? He had to die on us just then?" fumed Gaige.

"I guess we should have treated him first. Oh well."

Axton kneeled down, and rolled over the body, and went through the coat pockets, searching for something. He found it quickly, the silver State Alchemist's pocket watch. He found no wallet or ID though.

"Why take the watch? You fancy yourself a new timepiece?"

"ID. You said they all carry the watch right?"

"Yeah. But as far as I know they could all look alike."

"Good point. Be right back!"

"Hey, where are you going?!"

Axton ran off into one of the barracks, and returned 5 minutes later.

"A bar of soap? What's that for?"

"Same thing the watch is for. ID."

"…Huh? You lost me."

Axton opened the mouth of the dead man, shoved the bar of soap in, and slowly closed Ampere's jaws with his hands.

"I've heard of washing someone's mouth out with soap, but you're supposed to do that when someone curses at you." Said Gaige.

Axton opened the jaws and retrieved the bar. He showed it to Gaige. There were a perfect set of teeth marks in it.

"Dental records. Since we can't take the body with us we need proof he's dead."

"Wow. Nice improvisation."

"I can't take all the credit. Sometimes a mission would go wrong, and we couldn't take the target with us. You had to get creative in those cases. My wife thought of this one."

"Well, we should get going. I want to see what's in that ship!"

Axton pocketed the bar of soap, and they walked over to the door of the ship. True to the General's word, the door was scorched from an explosion. There was a control pad to the right of the door. Gaige walked over to it and tried to access the terminal.

"Idiots. Looks like they didn't even touch this panel."

"Can you get in?"

"Standard Hyperion security protocol. Gimme 5 minutes."

It took her 7.

"What happened to 5?" chided Axton.

"Hey, you try typing with a busted up automail arm!"

Gaige hit the enter key. "Welcome aboard _The Swan_. We hope you enjoy your journey." Said a female robotic voice.

The doors opened, and they walked in to find a hallway with a terminal, an elevation in front of them, and door to either side. Gaige sat down at the terminal.

"What are you trying to do now?" asked Axton.

"Seeing if I can find a map."

"Will you have to hack in again?"

"Nah. I uploaded a virus that should be taking over the ship's mainframe as we speak. Whoever was in IT here really sucked."

In short order, she found a diagram of the layout of the ship. Among the highlights were the Armory, Cargo Hold, Bridge, Security, and Shuttle Bay.

"I'm guessing we'll want to hit the armory first?"

"No. According to the cargo manifest, they have something we want in the Cargo Hold."

"If you say so."

The pair walked into the elevator, and Gaige hit the button labeled B. The elevator descended, and they got off once it stopped. They were greeted by a large room with shipping containers and wooden crates scattered about.

"So, what are we looking for, exactly?"

"Crates JR 376 and JR 377." Replied Gaige.

"Any idea where to find 'em?"

"This Container is JF 936, and that box down there is JF 982. I say we follow the numbers."

They walked down the hallways made by the seemingly randomly strewn about containers, but each of them seemed to follow a numbering system.

"JL 984… JM 173…"

They kept looking.

"JQ 405… JQ 716…"

"Ah, here we go. JR 376." Gaige used her claw hammer to pry the wooden lid of the crate open.

"SDU's?" asked Axton.

"Yep. It was on the manifest. Blank SDU's, never before used."

"Please tell me were thinking the same thing."

"Yup. We just have to use the included transfer cable, and bam, no more broken SDU's!"

"I love having you around, you know that?"

"What would you do without me? Let's get started!"

They each grabbed a sealed SDU, removed it from its shrink wrap, and attached the old SDU to the new one. The devices automatically began copying the data. In two minutes the transfer finished. They took off their old SDU's and put on the new units.

"Here goes nothing…" Gaige tried to swap out Riza's pistol for a Maliwan Shock Sniper. It worked, and the gun digistructed into her hands.

"Yes!"

Axton tested his by swapping his shield for an Evolution Adaptive shield. His unit was working correctly as well.

"Well, that's a major load off. Now you can ditch that defective shield."

"Good idea."

Gaige threw away her old shield, and equipped the Grounded Black Hole from her storage.

"Man, that last fight would have been so much easier with this shield."

"Why were you even using the other one, anyway?"

"I was just testing it out. Can't say I really liked it. It never did wind up saving me, heh."

"Anyway, what's in the other crate?"

Gaige pried its lid open "Echo units. I figured we could have spares in case ours broke, or if we run into Maya or Zer0."

"Good thinking. But let's grab multiples of all of 'em."

"Why?"

"That way we can give some to any friends we make out here, like Ed and Al."

"Good point."

Axton took off his backpack, and they loaded several SDU's and ECHO units into it.

"Where to next? The Armory?"

Gaige nodded. "It should be one floor up."

They walked back to the elevator, and it hummed as it lifted them to the next floor. The armory was set up similarly to the one they had seen on _The Terminus._

"I love rooms full of chests. Dibs on shock guns!" Giggled Gaige.

"I think I've known you long enough to know that."

The pair started opening red chests as fast as they could, not waiting to see their contents before opening the next one. It was a habit whenever they had a large number of chests to open. Their HUDs soon filled with points of light it used to indicate loot. They walked side by side to see what they got.

"Whites… Greens… Blah Blues..." Gaige started rattling off the loot to no-one in particular.

"Hmm. Hey Ax, Purple Torgue pistol in this one. You want it? I know you're good with explosives."

"Pass. Unless it's something exceptional, I don't care for Torgue guns. You could be dead 10 times over before the Gyrojet hits its target."

"Hmmm…"

"What?"

"I think I'll keep it. I want to repay Riza for her help."

Axton chuckled. "Well, it would have a _wee _bit more punch than that 9 mill she was using. Good idea."

The next few chests had nothing impressive, but Axton stopped a blue turtle shield, inspecting it.

"What's up? Why would you want something like that?"

"What we were talking about before. We should grab as many decent shields as we can to give to people."

"Another good call. Should we grab blue guns too?"

"Nah, most of them don't seem to go for guns. We'll just keep the purples as usual."

"Gotcha."

Axton saw a spike of orange in the next chest. "Woah. Well hello there loot!"

Axton picked up his new prize, a Vladof Shredifier.

"Ooh. Nice. You're lucky it isn't shock or you'd have a duel on your hands!"

A Bright Pink spike was visible in the next chest.

"Is… Is that what I think it is?" Asked Gaige.

"A Topneaa? I think so, but they're so damn rare I've never seen one in person."

"And it's shock too!" Gaige picked up the massive rocket launcher, and hugged it. "Shh, don't worry baby, I'll take good care of you!"

They were down to three more chests. The next one contained more blue shields that they kept. The second one contained another orange spike and a purple one.

"A Volcano? That's nice and all… but I'm not a great sniper. You want it?" said Axton.

"Nah, if it's not shock I don't really care. It's more of a Zer0 or Maya weapon."

"Hmm, when Riza interviewed me I think she mentioned she was a sniper. Perhaps she'd want it?"

"A Volcano, a Torgue pistol, and a shield? Isn't there some law against arming more primitive cultures?"

"If there was, would you follow it?"

"Not really."

The second item was a Torgue Casual Ravager shotgun.

"Well. Wow. Just wow."

"I thought you said you didn't like Torgue guns?"

"Yeah, but something about 18 exploding pellets tends to get people out of your face. I remember having a weaker one of these." Axton added the gun to his SDU.

The last chest contained a Tediore Plasma Caster in fire, and a Vladof Lyuda Shock Sniper.

"Mine!" Gaige grabbed the sniper rifle faster than Axton thought it possible to move.

"Hey, I wasn't going to touch it. I'll take the Plasma caster, then. It should take a nasty chunk out of someone if I throw it."

"Looks like we're done. Come on, the shuttle bay should be just down the hall!"

When they walked down the hall and opened the door, Gaige froze. Her eye twitched uncontrollably.

"…How can they ALL BE GONE?!"

"Well that sucks. Come on, let's head to the bridge. Maybe this hunkajunk is still flyable."

They took the elevator to the top floor, and walked a ways to the front of the ship. They entered the bridge without as much as a security check thanks to Gaige's virus. The bridge was oddly empty.

"Is it just me, or should there be bodies in here? If the rebels never made it in, we should see the crew." Stated Axton.

"Yeah, you're right. Maybe the log will explain it?"

Gaige sat at what looked like the Captain's terminal. She logged in with the credentials the virus gave her. She started by reading the captain's log.

"Looks like she was a scout ship. Her mission was to drop Fast Travel Stations on unexplored border worlds."

"Why, wouldn't they be useless unless you were on that planet?"

"Apparently they were working with a prototype that could jump from one solar system to another, but required repeaters on each planet."

"So they come out here where no one in the Six Galaxies cares about to test it, so they have deniability if something went wrong. Typical Hyperion tactics. So that explains why the ship is here. How did it crash?"

"The log doesn't say anything about that. Let me check the main systems… Oh. That would do it."

"What is it?"

"A leak in the nuclear reactor. The sensors are detecting three times lethal radiation in there. Let me check the black box…"

It took a bit more working with the virus to crack the separate encryption of the box, but she was soon in.

"Hmm, there was an unknown malfunction in the reactor as the ship was orbiting this planet. She lost power and couldn't maintain enough thrust to stay in the upper atmosphere."

"Hence our meteor show everyone saw."

Gaige scrolled through the emergency data recorder logs.

"It looks like the crew tried to jettison everything that wasn't tied down to save on weight. The shuttles, the Fast Travels, that kind of stuff."

"Damn, so any craft she was carrying is likely a pancake right now. And it explains the barley functional Fast Travel we came here in. What about the Cargo Bay? Why not jettison that?"

"Looks like they tried, but the doors jammed."

"I see. Even if you wouldn't be killed instantly, I'm guessing fixing a nuclear reactor is out of your experience?"

"As badass as it would be to say I could, yeah, that's beyond me."

"What about the star charts? We could figure out where we are from that."

"I'll download that onto my ECHO."

Gaige did so, but the file transfer said it would take 15 minutes. She looked at some of the other logs on the terminal. She opened the scanners log.

"Hmm… That's odd."

"What?"

"It says there's Eridium on this planet, and not just trace amounts."

"That's unusual. Off Pandora, It's pretty rare. Where is it?"

"Right under Central. But I don't think it's just a deposit."

"Why not?"

"Tannis once showed me satellite scans of Eridium deposits on Pandora. Only 2 spots looked like these readings."

"Where?"

"The Vaults."

* * *

_Meanwhile, back in Central._

"Come on! I want to go see if she's done yet!" Cried Ed.

"No brother! If you don't leave Cheska alone she'll never finish the notes!"

"Fine. But we're so close I can almost taste it! It sucks having to wait, I can barely stand it!"

"Just a few more days. Hang in there."

"Oh, by the way Brosh, have Gaige and Axton turned up yet?"

"Oh! Um… Err. No. Sorry."

"He's hiding something!"

"What? That's ridiculous!"

"We have ways of making you talk!" Said Ed, with a scary look on his face.

"eep."

* * *

"Hold on. You think there's a Vault under Central?" asked Axton.

"That's what this data says."

"Damn. We stumble across another one, but we don't have a key. Damn shame."

"Yeah. Plus from the looks of the readings it has to be at least 200 feet underground. No way could we get to it."

"My my, aren't you two nosy?"

"Who's there?" Axton drew his rifle and Gaige her TB Fists.

"Easy, you'll put someone's eye out. I'm not here to fight you."

"Who are you, lady?" asked Gaige

"You may call me Lust."

Lust was a tall, curvaceous woman with curly black hair. Her enormous breasts had a tattoo of a snake eating its tail on her cleavage. She wore a low cut black dress.

"An appropriate name, with a body like that. So what do you want?" said Axton.

"For you to leave and never come back."

"Afraid we can't do that, hon."

"I thought you might say that. Which is why I came up here to tell you that there's a bomb in the reactor room."

"Like we buy that one. The ship's sensors would have picked up any explosives larger than a hand grenade." Said Gaige.

"Warning: TNT detected in reactor room. Estimated time to detonation based on analysis of fusing mechanism: FIVE minutes." Said the female computer's voice.

"Great, NOW she speaks up." Face palmed Axton.

"If I were you two, I'd get out of here." Said Lust, disappearing into the shadows.

"Damn it! She's right though. There's no way we can get to the bomb with the radiation. We gotta get out of here!" said Gaige.

"But what about the data?"

Gaige yanked her echo out of the computer terminal.

"No time. When that bomb goes off it's going to create a "dirty bomb" effect and irradiate this whole valley!"

"Will we have time to get clear?"

"I don't know. But we have to leave NOW!"

The pair ran for the elevator, and went back to the main entrance.

"Warning. Bomb detonation imminent. Time to explosion: FOUR minutes." Announced the computer.

Gaige and Axton ran out the doors and sprinted for the main gate.

"Lt. Ross! We gotta move!"

"What's up guys?" Said Ross, puzzled.

"Bomb. No time to explain! We need a way out of here!"

"I found the truck we saw coming in here. It's parked over there, and looks like the keys are still in the ignition. What about the prisoners?"

Ross had managed to find some rope and tied the prisoners together by the hands.

"Bring them with us, I guess. In the truck, hurry!"

Ross directed the prisoners into the back of the military truck, and Axton and Gaige got in the cab and drove off. He set the waypoint on his echo to the village they had come from and floored it. Gaige's echo was still connected to the computer by the virus.

"Detonation in T-30 seconds." The camp was getting smaller, but not nearly fast enough for Axton's liking.

"Detonation in T-10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 516723. 1."

A flash of light was visible in the rear view mirror, and a cloud spread from the top of the ship.

Ross walked to the front of the truck. "What was that all about? That looked like a pretty small bomb."

"Not the bomb that's deadly. You ever heard of radiation Lieutenant?" asked Gaige.

"No, can't say I have."

"Long science lesson short, they're decaying atoms. It knocks your own bodies atoms loose and in high doses can kill you extremely quickly. That's what the bomb spread."

"That sounds horrible. Hey wait, you're bleeding!"

Ross was referring to the bloodstains on Gaige's shirt from where her left arm was pulled from her body.

"Tis just a flesh wound!"

"No it isn't! And Axton, you've got a scorch mark in the middle of your chest!"

"I stopped feeling that once my shield recharged, really."

"You're both seriously hurt, you need to be in a hospital! Pull over."

"Why? We know how to drive. We have cars."

"You're both too hurt to do anything! I'm taking over."

Axton did as she asked, albeit reluctantly. He got in the back with the prisoners.

"This is nothing. You're over reacting Lieutenant!" argued Gaige.

"I think I'm the only one acting sane around here! Now both of you shut up and let me drive you to a hospital!"

"Can't argue with a lady that outranks me." Said Axton in surrender.

"Damn it! We were so close to some answers!" fumed Gaige.

"What about your Echo?"

Gaige fiddled with the device.

"Shit. All the data's corrupted. Must have happened when I yanked it out."

"Hey, we're alive, we're gonna get paid, we got some new guns, and we know where a you-know-what is. I call that a win in my book."

"Yeah, I guess."

The headlights of the truck tore through the darkness of the night, headed southeast as fast as the diesel engine could take them.

* * *

**Authors Notes: I think I did pretty well with that fight, I thought it was smart enough for FMA. Let me know what you thought. I'm also trying to break the chapters off at a more natural point, rather than cramming as much as possible into one. It's shorter, but hopefully better organized.**


	11. Chapter 11: Hughes's Honest Hospitality

Maria Ross drove through the night to reach Central City Hospital. Despite the Vault Hunter's insistence that they were fine, she refused to let them take a shift driving. They gave up trying to convince her, and took shifts sleeping and guarding the prisoners in the back. Between one of the shift changes, Axton noticed something wrong with Gaige's arm.

"Hey, you're bleeding again." Said Axton with concern.

"Huh?"

"It looks like it's coming from the socket where the arm attaches to your body. Bastard must have pulled it loose."

Gaige put her flesh arm up to the base of her metal one, and felt something wet. When she removed her hand, fresh blood coated it.

"Damn it. He must have done more damage than I realized…"

Axton tore the sleeves off of one of the prisoner's jackets, and tied the improvised bandage around Gaige's shoulder. Another sleeve made a sling for the automail arm.

"Try not to move it, and keep pressure on the joint. I'll take the rest of the night. You get some sleep."

"I'm fine, really…"

"No, you're not. That's going to need surgery to fix."

"What about you? You're the one with a lightning bolt through his chest."

"My Preparation tech is working, but slower than usual. I should be fine. But you should know our healing abilities can't fix anything more than flesh wounds. If it's dislocated or broken, we need a doctor, seeing as there are no insta-healths on this world."

Gaige had burned off her Anarchy high with the healing ability of Discord, but now that it had worn off, there was nothing she could do to stop the bleeding. She hated when Axton was right.

"…Fine. I'll get some sleep, just make sure none of those creeps get fresh with me, got it?"

"You heard the lady. Anyone gets smart; they get a bullet where their skull used to be."

None of the prisoners looked awake or brave enough to try anything. Gaige drifted off to sleep, sitting on the floor of the truck.

She awoke to find herself in a hospital bed once again. She squinted at the bright sunlight coming though the window to her left. She glanced over to her bedside to see the clock on the nightstand. 3:00. Judging by the light, that was definitely PM. Damn. How long had she been out? She didn't know what time it had been when she fell asleep in the truck.

"Morning, sunshine."

Gaige looked to her right to see Axton sitting up in the bed next to hers. He was dressed in the same style of blue hospital clothes that Ed had been when she saw him for the second time.

"H-Hey. I overslept, huh?"

"Don't worry about that. Anesthesia will do that to you. They operated for a couple of hours."

"My arm! Did they…?!" Gaige panicked and looked at her left side.

"Don't worry. They had to detach it, but they were able to fix the tearing. They say you won't be able to wear it again for a few days, not until the wound heals. But the attachment point is still there."

Gaige calmed down, but still frowned.

"What about you? You said you were fine!"

"I am, but Ross insisted and the doctors agreed. They couldn't believe how little damage I had. I told them I didn't need it. I at least argued to be in the same room as you. This way I can keep you company so I'm not wasting my time in here."

"Thanks for the company. I can't stand being alone. Funny huh? I used to be a loner, now being alone scares me to no end."

"Hey, sorry we had to become your friends, if it's such a great burden on you."

"Hey, I was trying to be serious!"

"You're still too easy to tease."

"So, what happened with the State Alchemist? Was there a bounty on him?"

"I asked Ross to look into it for me. She says she'll have some news on it by tomorrow."

"We better get something for taking him out. Talk about a pain in the ass."

"Really. I hate bulletproof enemies."

There was a knock at the door.

"U-Um. Can I come in?" A steel helmet peeked through the door.

"Sure, Al." Replied Axton.

"I came over to check on you guys. I would have come earlier, but the doctors said you were still unconscious."

"That's ok, thanks for coming. Is Ed here too?" asked Gaige.

Al shook his head. "He wanted to stay by the phone in case Cheska finished up."

"He's really gung-ho about that, huh?"

"That's brother for you. Once he sets his mind on something he won't quit."

"Thanks for stopping by, but we're fine, really. We've both been though worse." Said Axton.

"Are you sure? The doctor said Gaige had surgery!"

"And she's fine now. Is there something else on your mind Al? You look like you wanted to say something." Axton was trying to reassure him and change the subject.

"We heard from Sergeant Brosh that you guys went off to hunt a meteor. What was so important about it?"

"This might take awhile, why don't you have a seat?" responded Gaige.

She summarized the events of the last few days for Al. The discovery of the Hyperion emblem, the hike to the crash site, and the battle with the State Alchemist.

"…So we got inside, found some new loot, and we found out something about Central."

"What is it?"

"There's most likely a Vault underneath it."

"You mentioned them a few times before, but I'm not exactly sure what they are."

"Neither are we, to be honest. From what little we do know, they appear to be Alien seals for weapons or dangerous objects. Most seem to contain something very powerful."

"Do you think the one here could help us get our bodies back?"

"Who knows? We wouldn't know unless we opened it. But there's a problem."

"What's that?"

"We don't have the key. The only one we know of is back on Pandora. Even if we did have it, it would need to be charged with Eridium."

"I see. What else happened?"

"We met this strange woman with big tits and black curly hair. She planted a bomb in the reactor, so we had to evacuate. So now our best shot at getting back home is toast."

"Reactor?"

Gaige explained about radiation again.

"That's too bad. If it hadn't been destroyed maybe I could have helped you fix it."

"Huh?" asked Gaige, head cocking slightly.

"I want my real body back, of course, but having this one has its advantages. From the way you describe it, I doubt radiation would affect me."

"Of course! It's too bad the reactor was likely completely destroyed."

"Well, it was a nice thought." Added Axton.

"Well, I just hope Mustang won't be too mad at you guys."

"Mus…"

"…Tang?" Gaige and Axton slowly turned their heads and stared at each other, an "Oh crap" expression crossing their faces.

"SHIT! WE TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT HIM! HE GONNA KILL US!" they shouted in unison.

"We totally forgot to bring him up in our plan! He's gonna have you deported and throw me in prison! Then what? The Elrics are our best shot at getting Sal back!"

"Calm down, Gaige I'm sure the reports of him completely incinerating people are exaggerated, right?" Said Axton, trying to console himself and Gaige. He kicked himself for letting his selfishness get in the way of better tactical planning.

"Actually, he's quite famous as the Hero of Ishval for that reason…" added Al.

"SHUT UP AL YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" said Gaige, panicked.

"Just let me do the talking. I've faced off with him before. You're not going to jail, that's a promise."

"R-Really?"

"Yeah. You know I'm good for my word."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." said Al, sadly.

There was no reply.

"Gaige?"

Gaige and Axton suddenly fell over, collapsing out of bed onto the floor.

"Gaige! Axton!" cried Al.

There was no reply.

"Nurse! I need a nurse in here!" Al shouted and bolted down the hallway to get help.

* * *

Axton awoke to find himself in a white void. In front of him was a huge, oddly familiar stone door.

"Axton! You're ok!" A powerful set of arms hugged his midsection.

"Sal? Is that you?" Axton turned around to see where the arms around his waist were coming from.

"Si, Senor! It's been too long."

"It's nice to see you too buddy, but could you let go of me now?"

"Oh! Sorry." Axton turned to face the dwarf.

"So, where are we?"

"Beats me. The white guy's explanation went way over my head."

"Why am I back here? I remember this place from when we came to Amestris, but the last thing I remember is the hospital."

"Hospital? Are you ok Amigo?"

"Fine. It's nothing serious."

"Anyway, I won a game of poker with that truth guy, so I got to see you guys again!"

"So you're really trapped here?"

"Yeah, looks that way. He said something about me being a toll. I don't really get it."

"How you holding up?"

"There's nothing to eat here, and that Truth guy has no sense of humor, but the blonde kid ain't so bad. You wouldn't believe the amount of games we have here! I just beat Truth at checkers. Blondie beat me at chess though. Was never good at thinking games."

"You don't sound bored, at least."

"I can't complain, but I miss you guys. And my trigger finger is getting itchy!"

"Heh. That sounds like you alright-"

The giant stone doors opened, and the black tentacles emerged from it.

"Uh oh. It looks like my time is up. Say hello to the others when you see them!"

Axton was quickly dragged away by the arm tentacles, struggling to keep his footing.

"Sal! We'll get you out of here. I don't care who I have to shoot to make it happen! A good soldier never leaves a man behind!"

The shorter man gave a giant grin.

"Heh. I know you will, Ax. If anyone can, you can."

The arm tentacles completed dragging Axton into the gate, and the gate slammed shut.

* * *

In a small town to the south, a woman wearing a white hooded cloak with a left arm covered in bandages collapsed in the streets. Several people with automail limbs came to her aid. She recovered in a few minutes, and refused offers of further aid. She wandered off, burning desire in her eyes.

* * *

The hitman must have dozed off. Strange, it was not like him to lose focus like that. He resumed staring down the scope of his sniper rifle, out the window of a clock tower, gazing into an apartment complex. A man in a business suit was his target. It was strange, he dreampt of a man he once knew. He irritated him greatly, but he could not say he was not happy to see him well. The murderer waited for his target to sit down. He applied a few pounds of pressure to the trigger, and in an instant a human life was ended.

"Such a boring kill

Doesn't test my skills

But pay is sufficient."

He packed his rifle, disassembled his perch, and was gone before the MP's got close to the scene.

* * *

Gaige came about to the unpleasant sensation of a flashlight being shined in her eyes. She squinted and batted the blinding light away. It took several minutes of convincing to the doctors and nurses to explain that she was fine. When they finally left, she saw Axton had been given much the same treatment.

"Just what the hell was that all about?" She wondered aloud.

"You saw him too?" asked Axton.

"Sal? I saw him."

"Damn. SOB really did manage to pull one over on him then…"

"Um, excuse me, what are you guys talking about?" asked Al.

"We saw the gateway again. And we saw Sal." Explained Axton.

"..! Did… Did you see my body?" asked Al excitedly.

"No, but Sal did mention a blonde haired kid. Is that relevant?" asked Gaige.

"It is! I bet you that's my body!"

"So, can you tell us anything about the gateway Al? We're not used to this stuff."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't remember what happened to me. Only brother saw anything."

"I see. I guess we'll have to talk to him when we get released."

"Speaking of, he's probably getting worried about me. I'll see you guys later!" Al ran off, suddenly remembering the time.

"Bye Al! Say hi for us!" Gaige called out.

"Nice kid. Been awhile since I met someone so polite." Said Axton.

"Yeah, he looks tough because of his body, but he's a sweetheart."

"You should get some rest. I'll let you know if anything interesting happens."

Gaige felt her eyes close, and drifted back off to sleep.

* * *

Breakfast the next morning was interrupted by someone barging though the door.

"Hey, if it isn't my two favorite aliens!"

"Umm. Who are you?" asked Gaige.

"Wait. I remember this guy; he was at the scene where that Scar guy showed up." Said Axton.

"Oh that's right, we haven't been properly introduced. My name is Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes. And this…" Hughes pulled a photo out of his jacket. "Is my darling daughter Elicia! Isn't she just the cutest thing you ever seen?!" Hughes waived the photo around and gushed like a schoolgirl about how perfect his family was.

"…This guy is a Lieutenant Colonel? He wouldn't last a day in the Dahl military." Said Axton, incredulous.

"Uh, she's cute and all, but why are you here Mr. Hughes?" asked Gaige.

"Oh! That's right. Since he's too busy dealing with the Scar case, Mustang asked me to talk to you on his behalf. "

"I see. So what did he say?" asked Axton, visibly tensing up.

"He was outraged that you broke your word and went off on your own and caused trouble. He said that Gaige is going to jail and that you're being deported." Hughes said this straight faced, light reflecting off his glasses.

"No! I can't go to jail!" cried Gaige.

"That Son of a-"

"…Is what he would have liked to have said. The brass over-ruled him, however. You guys took out the second in command of the rebellion! Taking out a State Alchemist as powerful as him is really impressive! You did all of us a great service." Said Hughes with a grin.

"Is that your idea of a joke, Hughes!?" raged Axton.

"Nah, it was Mustang's. He told me to tell you it that way, just as a reminder."

"Ha. Ha." Gaige said without mirth.

"Oh, by the way, I ran into Lt. Ross on the way here. Since I was coming here anyway, she asked me to give you guys these."

Hughes walked back out into the hallway and retrieved two briefcases. He handed one to each of the patients.

"What's this?" Asked Gaige.

"See for yourself."

Gaige and Axton opened the briefcases to see they were filled with neatly arranged bills.

"That's a lot of dough. Hush money?" asked Axton.

"Nope! That's the bounty on Ampere. 1.5 million Cenz."

"_**WHAT!?**_" they both shouted.

"Well, it was 3 million, but since there are two of you it's 1.5 million each."

"Axton, I didn't think I could ever love something that wasn't organic, a gun, or a robot, but I think I'll make an exception!" Gaige hugged the briefcase full of cash with her remaining arm.

"Wow… That's just...Wow. Maybe I should go back to being a bounty hunter again." Said Axton, stunned.

"Enjoy. You dealt a great blow to the rebellion by taking out Ampere. He was easily their heaviest hitter. By the way, what are you guys doing when you get out of the hospital? Got a place to stay?"

"We had a hotel room, but I wouldn't be surprised if they gave it to someone else by now." Said Axton.

"We'll you'll just have to stay over at my place then! Any friend of the Elrics is welcome! I heard that the docs are ready to discharge you tomorrow Axton."

"We couldn't impose like that, it would be rude!" said Gaige. She still wasn't sure what to make of this guy.

"Nonsense! I insist."

"If it's all right with you Lt. Colonel, I plan on staying here with her until she recovers." Stated Axton.

"That's fine. I'll come by to visit you guys tomorrow!" Hughes waived and walked out.

"…Did all that just really happen?" asked Gaige.

"Hell, I'm still trying to get over Alchemy and kids with souls bound to armor."

"I know, this place is weird. But you can't help but like the people. Much better conversationalists than most of the folk in Sanctuary."

"Heh, you got that right."

"Oh, I've been thinking."

"I told you, that's dangerous!"

"Ax!" She threw a pillow at his head.

"Sorry! Go ahead."

"Can you ask the docs to let me have my arm?"

"You know it's too soon to put it back on. And besides, its damaged."

"I know. I think I can fix it."

"Huh? I know you built your old one but isn't this different tech?"

"Yeah. But when we saw Sal, I remembered something from the gate. I must have blacked out at the time or something. I saw my consciousness be taken apart and reassembled, only there was more to it when it was put back together. I felt like I had seen every machine ever invented. Ever since then I've had this strange feeling that I knew how to fix my automail."

"Actually, I felt something similar. Only with me it was tactics, strategies, and wars. Weapons and armor of all types."

"Hmm. Didn't Ed mention something about equivalent exchange? Perhaps we gained something for losing Sal."

"Only one way to test that hypothesis. I'll go get your arm." Axton hopped out of bed and went to find a nurse.

Several minutes later, Gaige heard shouting and arguing. It lasted for a few minutes before it subsided. Axton soon returned with her arm, a screwdriver, and her wrench.

"That sounded bad. Is everything ok?" she asked with concern.

"Doc was a hard-head. Took some convincing to let me have the arm."

"…You just took it without asking, didn't you?"

"Guilty as charged. Borrowed your tools while I was at it."

Axton set down the mangled metal arm on the bed in front of Gaige.

"Thanks for getting it. It means a lot."

"I know. Now don't make a fool of me, ok?"

"I know. Now let's see…"

Gaige started unscrewing and unbolting the arm. In a few minutes she had it mostly disassembled. Axton couldn't quite tell what she was doing, but she tinkered with the parts and seemed to be making some adjustments. Half an hour later she put it back together.

She attached the arm, and put the wrench to the bolt that connected her nerves.

"Hey, wait! You know it's too soon for that!" shouted Axton, reaching to stop her.

"It's the only way to know if my repairs worked. I have to try."

Axton relented, and Gaige turned the bolt, grimacing at the pain. She tried to move the arm. It responded to her commands. It was still slightly jerky, and not as smooth as when she first got it, but she had some degree of control. She could move the fingers, but they were still over extended from the magnetism.

"Huh. Not bad for your first try. That's my little engineer for yah."

"I couldn't do everything, as some of the parts are missing. I couldn't tighten up the cable for the fingers as much as I would have liked, either. But I accept your compliment."

"Now take it off before you hurt yourself."

"Aww, Ax!"

"Come on. You'll have it back in a few days. No sense in reopening your wound and having to wait even longer."

"Fine." Gaige unbolted the arm and detached it.

"Soon as we can, we'll have to go visit that Winry girl and have her repair it completely. And now we can pay her back for the work." Axton eyed the briefcases on the floor.

"Yeah. I'd love to learn more about automail from her. It's amazing you can do all this without robotics. I never would have thought it possible."

"Never know what you'll find on a different world."

* * *

Ed had finally gotten the call he had been waiting for. Cheska had transcribed Dr. Marcoh's notes. They picked them up, tanked her and paid her, then asked Brosh to take them to the library. The First branch may have been gone, but the adjoining Second branch still stood.

"I don't understand. These are just cookbooks, right? What could they teach us about alchemy?" Asked Brosh.

"Alchemy is a dangerous art. It can be incredibly destructive if misused. In order to prevent that, alchemic research is always encrypted. These are designed to look like recipies to the average person. But they are actually advanced alchemical notes. Only the person who originally wrote them can understand."

"If they're so heavily encrypted, then how are you going to decipher them?"

"It's not going to be easy. We'll have to use all our alchemical knowledge."

"Wow, Sir. That sounds really complicated."

"Al! There's a section in here on green tea!"

"Green tea? Are you thinking what I am?"

"Uh-huh. It might be a reference to the green lion of metallurgic alchemy. Do we have copies available of Flamells Codex or Lambspring's Concerning the Philosopher's Stone?"

"Of course!"

Ed and Al dug into the notes, finding points of reference in them.

In 3 days time, they had made little progress.

"Why does this encryption have to be so hard?" whined Ed.

"Brother, maybe we should ask about this directly."

"No way! That would be admitting defeat!"

"So this is a contest now?"

"Yo! Major Armstrong told me you two were here!" Lt. Colonel Hughes barged into the room. "What gives Ed? I told you to give me a shout the next time you were in central."

"Oh. Sorry. It's just that something urgent came up."

"We got a lot of unsolved cases lately. There's been a rash of assassinations of high ranking military officers and political figures. Damn guy seems to be a ghost. All the evidence he ever leaves behind is the bullets he fires."

"How awful!" exclaimed Al.

"It's been a huge headache. So what are you boys working on?"

"We can't really talk about it." Said Ed defensively.

"That's all right, I get it. Loose lips and all. By the way, I met your new friends at the hospital. Quite the odd pair."

"I regret not being able to visit them, but this can't wait. How are they?" asked Ed.

"Axton was officially released, but he's still staying there until Gaige gets out. She repaired her own arm, you believe that? A girl with no formal automail training."

"What, seriously?"

"Yeah. Said it just came to her."

"That's incredible! Winry would love to know how she did that." said Al.

"Heh. She's raring to go too. They almost have to restrain her to keep her in bed. I'd expect them to come over here in the next day or two."

Ed gave a slight smile. "Yeah, that sounds like her."

"Well besides the assassinations, we've had trouble since the first branch burnt down. All our case records were stored there. It's been a mess."

"We might be able to help you with that. We know this girl named Cheska…"

* * *

On the fifth day of Ed and Al's research, Gaige was finally released from the hospital. Axton helped her attach her arm. They both took advantage of the shower facilities, and recovered their belongings from the nurses. They added the briefcases of cash to their SDUs.

"So, what should we do now?" Asked Gaige.

"We want to ask the Elrics about the gate right? We should probably try to find them."

Axton retrieved a slip of paper from his pocket. Hughes had given them his number, and said to call if they needed anything. He walked over to a phone on the wall and dialed it. Gaige listened in.

"Hey, Hughes. It's Axton. We just got released."

"Yeah, we're all good. We were wondering if you know where the Elrics are."

"Library, huh? Makes sense."

"A ride? No, we don't have any transportation."

"That's alright; you don't have to pick us up. I'm sure you're busy."

"All right. We'll see you in a few minutes. Bye."

"He's coming over himself to pick us up? That's nice of him." Said Gaige.

"He might be a goofball, but he's a good guy. He did come to visit us every day in the hospital."

"Yeah, I was wondering if he should have been working."

Hughes showed up a few minutes later and drove them over to the library. He dropped them off outside. Gaige and Axton got out. Hughes called from the window of his car.

"When you guys are done for the day, give me a call. I'll pick you up and you can stay at my house tonight!"

"Thanks so much, Mr. Hughes!" Gaige smiled.

Axton saluted. Hughes returned the gesture and pulled away.

They entered the building and quickly found the room where the Elrics were. It was easy to spot as Brosh and Ross were standing guard outside.

"I see you two are feeling better. Welcome back." Said Ross.

"Thanks. We were getting sick of hospital food. How are the brothers holding up?" asked Axton.

"The research is going slowly. But they're determined. I'm sure they'll get it eventually."

"Have there been any threats to them?" asked Gaige.

"Not really. Scar has been missing, and we've encountered no trouble." Replied Brosh.

"Thanks for covering for us. I'll take you guys out for drinks sometime." Promised Axton.

"It's a promise then." said Ross.

The Vault hunters pushed the double doors open.

"Hey Ed! Long time no see." Said Gaige.

"Have fun lounging around in bed all day?"

"Psh. It was boring. What about you, any progress?"

"Not really. We made a few connections with the patterns, but nothing solid yet."

"Sorry, we're not much help in the alchemy department. Though we did want to ask you about something." Said Axton.

"What is it?"

"Al told you about us blacking out, and that we saw the gate again right?"

Ed nodded.

"What he didn't know is that we think that Gaige gained something from it. She seems to be able to look at any machine and know how to fix it. She fixed her arm, and when our radio broke she had it playing in 5 minutes. I think I gained something combat related, but I'm not sure. Any ideas?"

Ed dropped the pen he was holding.

"S-Seriously? Why didn't you mention this before?"

"It just came up. Why?"

"You know how I clap to transmute? That's not normal for alchemists. We would normally have to use a transmutation circle. I leaned the clapping technique from the gate."

"So what does that mean?" asked Gaige.

"It's both good and bad. It means you didn't lose your friend for nothing. The bad news is it means it will be much harder to get him back."

"Why?"

"Because, then it's not just an accident. He was taken as part of an Equivalent Exchange. Truth won't give him back without a fight."

"Damn. I figured it was something like that. But why didn't she gain the same knowledge as you guys?" queried Axton.

"This is just a theory, but the entire knowledge of the universe was pumped into us, right? So why don't we remember it all? I'm guessing that we only retained what we understand. In my case, Alchemy, in Gaige's, engineering. It would probably hold true for you that you would gain understanding of combat."

"I guess that makes sense. So, in order to get Sal back, you have to decrypt these notes. We'll help however we can."

"Well for now, can you find me a copy of Cussler's Hydrodynamic Alchemy?"

"One cute librarian coming up!" Said Gaige cheerfully.

At the end of the day, they hadn't made that much progress.

"Oof. Let's call it quits for today. You'll think better after some sleep." Said Axton.

"Yeah, you're right. Oh, by the way, where are you guy's staying? They gave away your hotel room." Said Ed.

"Hughes offered to put us up. Nice guy." Said Gaige.

"Yeah, but he's annoying."

"Eh, a bit. We'll see you here tomorrow."

Axton called Hughes and he picked them up. The sun was setting as he walked up the stairs of his apartment complex with his guests. They walked over to his door, Hughes pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and unlocked it.

"Gracia, I'm home!" Hughes announced.

"Daddy!" a small child ran over and hugged Hughes's leg.

"Hi Elicia! Were you a good girl today?" Hughes picked her up and swung her into the air, before giving her a big hug.

"Yup! I was waiting for you daddy!" Elicia nodded.

He carried her inside the apartment, and his visitors followed.

"Welcome back dear. Oh? It seems we have guests. Who are they?" Smiled Gracia.

"This is Axton and Gaige, they're friends of the Elric brothers."

"Those charming boys? Well, of course you're welcome here."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hughes." Replied Axton.

Gaige politely bowed.

"Daddy, are they friends of yours?" asked Elicia.

"Yup! Go on, say Hi." Hughes set his daughter down.

Elicia toddled over to Axton.

"Hello there!" Axton smiled.

"He's scary!" The little girl took a few steps back.

"Elicia, that's rude!" admonished her mother.

Gaige crouched down to Elicia's level.

"Hi, I'm Gaige. It's nice to meet you! She extended her flesh hand."

Elicia gave a big smile and grabbed Gaige's hand. "I'm Elicia! Hey, your hair looks like mine!"

"Do you like it?" Asked Gaige. Both were wearing pigtails on either side of their head.

"Yeah! It looks really pretty!"

"Thank you!" Gaige smiled.

"Looks like someone made a new friend. She seems to rather like you." Observed Axton.

"You think so?" She turned her head to face Axton, and Elicia grabbed at her pigtail.

"Yeah. Heck, she even sounds like you a little. She could be your daughter."

"W-What? Don't say stupid things! Idiot." Gaige stammered.

"Hey, you could be my big sissy! You wanna?" asked Elicia genuinely.

"Sure, why not?" smiled Gaige.

"Sissy!" Elicia gave Gaige a big hug.

"Now, young lady, you need to go wash up. It's almost dinner time." Said Gracia.

"'Kay!" She ran off to do what her mother asked.

"I should start dinner then. It shouldn't be more than an hour."

"Please, allow us to help. It's all we can do to repay your hospitality." Said Axton.

"Don't be silly, I don't mind."

"Please, I insist. I may not be much of a cook, but I know my way around a knife."

"Ok then, follow me." They walked over to the kitchen. A small silence fell on the room when she left.

"Mr. Hughes?" said Gaige.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For all this. You barley even know us and you're taking us in."

"Don't worry about it. I can't stand seeing someone in need."

In the kitchen, Axton helped Gracia prepare dinner. He washed, peeled, and cut potatoes while she worked on the main course.

"So, you two are friends of the Elric's?" asked Gracia.

"Yes ma'am."

"You known them long?"

"Not really. We met just recently."

"So, what do you do?"

"I'm a soldier... at least I was."

"I see." She did not pry further, as many soldiers had retired after Ishval.

"How about your husband? What kind of work does he do?"

"He works in the Justice department of the Military. Guessing by that question, you don't know him that well."

"Yes ma'am."

"Heh. That's just like him, bringing home people he barley knows." She had a whimsical smile on her face.

"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" Asked Gracia.

"You can."

"What's Gaige to you?"

Axton was stunned. He hadn't expected that. "Uh, why do you ask?"

"If it's a problem, forget I asked. I just didn't want to get the wrong idea."

"No, it's ok. She's a friend, but sometimes I feel like her father."

"Oh? Did something happen?"

"Yes and no. They're still alive, but for certain reasons she can't see them right now."

"I see. You be sure to take of her then. Girls her age still need guidance."

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

Gaige helped Hughes set the table, laying out 5 settings. She retrieved the dishes from the kitchen as they were finished and set them on the table. The cooking took over an hour and a half. The table was soon covered with food of all kinds. They sat down to eat, Gaige helping Elicia into her high chair.

Hughes started pouring wine for the adults, but stopped when he got to Gaige.

"It's alright Lt. Colonel. She's a big girl." Said Axton.

"Libations all around then!" He poured the wine into her glass.

Hughes raised his glass. "A Toast! To new friends. May-"

"What about me daddy?"

"How silly, how could I forget?" He poured her a glass of grape juice.

"Now, where was I? Oh yes. A toast, to new friends. May we grow old before we part, and always be kept safe."

The four of them tapped their glasses together, but Elicia struggled to reach. Gaige lowered her glass to the girls, and she smiled back.

"Now, let's eat!" Hughes started serving the food.

Axton took a bite of the pot roast. "Whoa. I haven't tasted anything this good in 5 years."

"Please, you flatter me." Said Gracia modestly.

"I'm not kidding. Military food is pretty bad, so I savor a home cooked meal whenever I get one."

"And this quiche is pretty good too!" Said Gaige between bites.

"Well, I do pride myself on my ability to please my guests." Said Gracia.

"Isn't my wife amazing?" Beautiful and talented!" Gushed Hughes.

"Oh stop it dear, not at the table. So, where are you two from? I didn't catch that earlier." Asked Gracia.

"Umm, that's kind of a long story…" trailed of Gaige.

Axton glared daggers at her, and mouthed _"What happened to using our cover story?!" _

Gaige covered her mouth when she realized what she had done.

"It's ok; my wife is cleared for classified intel. She's got a vault like you wouldn't believe." Said Hughes.

"Well, I don't mind telling you but it's weird. Like really weird."

Gaige went over the short version of how they arrived in Amestris, leaving out the child unfriendly bits in deference to Elicia's presence. Occasionally she stopped to eat a bite or take a sip of wine. She then went back and explained why she was even on Pandora in the first place, using many euphemisms. It seemed to work as Elicia didn't ask many questions.

"I see. Thank you for sharing, I'm sure it must be hard for you."

"Wait, you believe me?"

"A story that earnest must be true. And it's not very often I get to entertain someone from another world!"

"Not many people in your position would believe me. So I appreciate that. I'm sorry to burden you with our problems, It's just that once I get started I can't seem to stop."

"Nonsense. What kind of people would we be if we didn't open ourselves to someone in need?"

A single tear rolled down Gaige's check. It was soon followed by a second.

"Oh my, did I say something wrong?" asked Gracia.

"Don't cry big sissy!" pleaded Elecia.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. You guys just reminded me of my family, that's all." Gaige wiped away the tears, and put on a big genuine smile.

The Hughes couple turned and smiled at each other.

"OK, who wants desert! There's ice cream!" called Hughes.

"I do I do!" Elicia raised her hand and waved it.

"If I eat like this all the time, I'm going to get fat. But there are worse fates. Hell, put me down for a bowl." Said Axton.

"I'll take one dear."

"And what about you Gaige?"

"That would be great, thanks."

* * *

After they cleaned up from dinner, Gracia showed them to the spare bedroom. It had a pair of twin beds, Gracia explaining that the Elrics had stayed there before. They took turns showering. As Gaige got dressed and left the bathroom, she ran into Mrs. Hughes in the hall.

"Oh? Aren't you going to bed?" asked Gracia.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"I thought you would have changed your clothes."

"This is the only set I have at the moment."

"Well, that won't do. Why don't we go shopping tomorrow?"

"But I have to go back with Axton to meet with the Elrics."

"Maes told me about it, they won't miss you for one day."

"Alright. Thanks, I'd appreciate it."

"Tomorrow then. Goodnight."

"'Night Mrs. Hughes."

"Please, call me Gracia."

"Right."

Gaige walked back to the bedroom and slipped into her bed.

"The Hughes's are really nice people, huh?" asked Gaige.

"Yeah, It's easy to forget that there's normal people when you're on Pandora." Said Axton.

"I've decided something. When we get back, I want to finish building Opportunity. Heck, I want to build a couple cities just like it."

"…You feeling ok there? You want to build cities, fill them to the brim with robots, and rule 'em with an iron fist?"

"Not EXACTLY like it. I want to build them in the same style, but instead of paying people to come, I want to fill them with people like the Hughes's."

"I see. The "Restore the planet plan", huh? That would go a long way to stabilizing it. Of course, we'd have to work extra hard protecting them."

"Would we have it any other way?"

"Hell no. I think it's a great idea. I hope I can help make it happen."

"I do too. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, big dreamer."

Axton shut off the light and tucked himself in his bed. He softly chuckled. "A city filled with Hughes's, huh? Not a bad idea at all…" he whispered.

The Vault hunters drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Sorry this took so long. Between IRL stuff and distractions this took awhile. Hopefully you like it. I'm sorry the plot isn't moving much, but I keep thinking of cool ideas to do, lol. As soon as 5****th**** laboratory is done, we should be moving along better. Edit: caught a continuity error where I said that Axton knew where the Elrics were, then he goes and asks Hughes. Derp. This is why I usually re-read my text a few times.  
**


	12. Chapter 12: Carpet Bombing

The next morning, Axton and Gaige had breakfast with the Hughes's. After they finished, Axton left with Maes to go to the library to resume guard duty. Gaige stayed behind for a day of shopping. Gracia washed the dishes left over from breakfast.

"Elicia honey, go get changed out of your PJ's please."

"Yes mommy!" She ran off to her room.

"She really is adorable. You have a great daughter." Said Gaige, sipping the last of her Hot Chocolate.

"Thank you. What about you? Do you want kids someday?"

"I uh… I really haven't thought about it." Gaige seemed a bit flustered at that question.

"That's alright, at 18 you have plenty of time." Smiled Gracia.

There was a minute of silence as Gaige drank, and Gracia finished the dishes.

"Mommy, I did it all by myself!" beamed Elicia, running into the room wearing a sun dress.

"Good girl! But… where are your shoes?" asked her mother.

"Oopsie! I forgot!" Elicia dashed back to her room.

"She's full of energy, huh?" asked Gaige, with a chuckle.

"She has been since the day she was born. Well, I should change too."

Gracia walked off to her bedroom, and Gaige put on her shoes. She was wearing her usual attire already. They returned a few minutes later, Gracia wearing a yellow dress with a jacket, and Elicia finally managing to pull on her sandals.

"Well then, shall we go?" asked Gracia.

"Sure."

They walked down the stairs, Gracia carrying her daughter. She set her down once they came outside. She held on to her mother's hand and walked along side her.

"So, where are we going?" asked Gaige.

"There's a department store a few blocks from here I like. It has a large selection and the prices are reasonable."

"Sounds good to me."

Gaige felt a tugging on her skirt.

"Sissy! Hold my hand!"

"Sure thing, kiddo."

Elicia grabbed Gaige's right hand, and walked between her and her mother, a huge smile on her face.

They walked down the sidewalk, Gaige taking in the sights. She had been here for what… Three weeks? Has it really been that long? Even so she still wasn't used to this place. Walking was totally different than driving. For the first time, she really had time to study the city. The streets were clean and free of trash. The city did smell of gasoline, but only a fraction of the stink of refuse of Sanctuary. Cars drove calmly past, actually respecting traffic laws. Pedestrians were polite and stopped to chat with local shopkeepers. The birds were tiny, and didn't want to kill you. Heck, she had to admit that staying here wasn't such a terrible idea.

"I have to admit, this city is pretty nice." Said Gaige

"I've gotten used to it. It still doesn't compare to the countryside though."

"You didn't grow up here?"

"No, I moved here to be with Maes. I grew up in a small town to the west."

"I see."

"How about you? What kind of place was Eden-5?"

"There were wilderness and cities, of course, but I grew up in a decent sized city myself."

"City girl all your life then, huh?"

"Until a few months ago, yeah."

Gracia knew better than to continue that line of questioning. Besides, they were almost at the department store.

As they arrived, they were greeted by the doorman. They politely said hello and walked inside.

The department store was rather large, encompassing several floors. On the first floor was Women's clothing, the second Mens, the third Children's, the fourth Housewares, and on the fifth Cosmetics, Sporting Goods, and anything else you could want.

Unsurprisingly, they started on the first floor. Gaige immediately saw that most of the fashions of this planet were not her style. Many dresses lined the racks, with some skirts, and no pants. None of the blouses were to her taste either. There were no T-shirts in sight, either. Definitely not the malls she grew up with, she quickly decided. She picked out a few skirts to try on, and moved on to sleepwear. Most of the selection here was rather modest compared to what she was used to seeing. Still, some pajamas were better than nothing. Sleeping in your street clothes got old. She picked out cotton pajamas, navy blue, with full length sleeves that buttoned up in the front and matching pants.

Ms. Hughes had picked out several dresses to try for herself. Gaige moved on to the lingerie section. Here too was more conservative than what she was used to. Not to say that there was nothing attractive, but the selection lacked many bolder styles. Different planets, different tastes, she supposed. She found some stockings that matched the skirts she picked out, and some regular socks. Next up were the more intimate pieces. Most of the bras and panties she picked out were plain white, not that there was much variety. There was a black set with lace she picked, however. Never know when you might need to liven things up some.

Gracia finished up her selections as well, and they headed to the changing rooms. As they finished trying on the outfits, they modeled them for each other and Elicia.

Gracia came out wearing a flowing dress that came down to her ankles. Gaige had on a black and white striped skirt with her usual shirt and vest combo.

"Mommy, you look pretty!" said Elicia earnestly.

"Thank you dear."

"It does suit you. I say buy that one." Added Gaige.

"Alright then."

"That one looks silly!" Gracia pointed to Gaige's skirt.

"No, huh?"

"It might be a bit much." added Gracia.

They went back in to the changing rooms to try the next outfits, Gracia taking her daughter with her.

She came out in a white blouse, a sheer yellow silk jacket, and a pastel green skirt. Gaige was wearing the same top, and a knee length black skirt, with navy stockings.

"Mommy looks really good!" smiled the two year old.

"That is nice." Added Gaige.

"That one looks better too."

This process repeated for the next several outfits. Gracia noticed that Gaige never changed her top.

"You didn't pick any out?" she asked.

"I didn't like any of them. Too frilly or plain."

"There's a fabric department on the top floor. Perhaps I could make you something?"

"You can sew?"

"Yes, a bit. Although I'm not as good as my mother."

"I only know a basic stitch. All I've ever done is sewing on patches."

"Well, perhaps I could teach you a thing or two. I wouldn't mind making something for you and Axton."

"Really? I'm honored you'd be willing to make something for me, knowing how busy you are."

Gracia smiled. "It's not often I get to do it anymore, what with a certain someone to take care of."

Gaige chuckled. "I can see how it would be hard to find the time."

"What about dresses? Not a fan of them either?"

"Not really. Skirts are ok; they don't get in the way."

"Well, every lady should own at least one dress for formal occasions. How about I pick some out?"

"…If you really think so."

Gracia returned to the changing rooms in a few minutes with two dresses.

"Here, try these." She handed Gaige a black and a red dress.

Gaige changed into the black one. It had short sleeves covered up to her neck, and came down to her ankles, and a slightly loose fit. Outside the changing room, she modeled it by twirling around.

"That looks nice, sissy!"

"It does look good on you."

"I don't know… It looks frumpy to me." Said Gaige in dissatisfaction.

She went back and changed into the second dress. She came out wearing a crimson dress with no sleeves, spaghetti straps, a plunging neckline that stopped in the middle of her chest, and the hem just past her knees. Again the Mechromancer spun around, the dress fluttering with her movement.

Elicia's eyes sparkled. "Big sissy looks really pretty!"

"My, I think we found a winner." Added her mother.

"Well, this is more my style. I guess it's not so bad."

"We'll have to do something about the shoes though. Sneakers won't cut it."

"I guess it does look odd, huh?"

They walked over to the shoe department, and quickly found a set of red two inch heels. Gaige put them on, and the look was complete. She checked herself in a nearby mirror. She stared at herself for nearly half a minute.

"Is everything ok Gaige?"

"Huh? Oh. I kinda drifted off, huh? It's just that my mom always wanted me to wear stuff like this. I guess I was thinking about her."

"Why don't you change back, and we'll go to the men's department? You still need to get some things for your friend, right?"

Gaige nodded. After she changed, they took the elevator to the second floor.

The Men's department was just as expansive as the Women's. Everything from casual wear to sleepwear to the highest end tuxes were on display.

"I'm going to get some shirts for Maes. I'll meet you back at the stairs in a few minutes." Said Gracia.

"Okay. See you then."

Gaige walked over to where the suits were displayed. She picked out a dark grey suit for Axton with a matching fedora, a black tie, and a white button up shirt. Black leather shoes and a belt completed the outfit. She figured he might need to blend in, and judging from the civilians, this would work. She next picked out a formal tuxedo with a bowtie. Gracia had made a good point about formal dress. There might be a situation with Ed's position that they might have to attend a high end party.

In casual wear, she got a couple pairs of jeans in Axton's size, and a few smalls for herself. Apparently they hadn't caught on for women here yet. She repeated her selection with the selection of khaki shorts available. The T-shirts available were pretty basic. There were white ones meant as undershirts, and a few other colors. None had any printing. Gaige sighed to herself. This place was really behind. She'd have to dress these up some later. She took several off the rack in both their sizes. For pajamas, she saw an olive drab set that were similar to the ones she had picked for herself. It was perfect for soldier boy, as Maya would call him. They went into the pile.

Her arms were starting to fill up now, so she just grabbed a package of boxers and socks for Axton, and brought the pile of clothing to the register, including her selections from the women's department.

The clerk rang up her purchases.

"That will be 32,579 Cenz please." Said the male clerk, slightly surprised how much clothing this girl had managed to carry.

Gaige removed the money from her SDU. The clerk was surprised to see the money appear from nowhere, to say the least. He wrapped the clothing into boxes and bagged it.

"If you like, we can have your purchases brought to the entrance and you can pick it up when you leave."

"Nah, I got this." Gaige picked up one of the bags and added it to her SDU. The device automatically sorted out the clothing into individual storage slots.

The clerk stood with his mouth open, eyebrow twitching as he watched the bag disappear.

Gaige loaded the other bag and went to meet Gracia. The poor clerk could only stare in disbelief.

"Sorry I took so long. I had a lot to get."

"It's alright." Said Gracia, frazzled. Elicia looked like she had been keeping her busy.

"Where are your bags, by the way?"

Gaige patted her Storage Deck. "In here. It allows me to store a lot in a small space."

"Interesting. Well, I need to stop on the third floor and get some clothes for Elicia."

"I'd like to check out the fabrics on the fifth floor. I'll meet you up there?"

"Sure. "

She climbed the three flights of stairs to the fifth floor. It was a mix of all sorts of goods. One that caught her eye was Sporting Goods. She could see a wide variety of guns on display on the wall behind the counter. Even at a distance she could make out rifles, shotguns, and a few pistols. She walked over to investigate. Even if she hadn't planned on it, this could be interesting.

The clerk greeted her.

"Hello, how may I help you?" asked the man. His nametag identified him as Lawrence.

Gaige's HUD told her that all of the guns on display were nothing compared to her current weapons. However, that wasn't what caught her interest.

"Do you carry ammunition for these weapons?" she asked.

"Yes, we have a large selection. What are you looking for in particular?"

Gaige removed some assault rifle, pistol, and submachine gun rounds from her SDU.

"Do you carry these calibers?"

Lawrence picked up the cartridges and inspected the bottom of them, and read the numbers printed there.

"Yes, we do. How many rounds were you looking to purchase?"

"300 9 mil, 600 .45 ACP, and 400 7.62mm."

"Of course. Give me one minute please." Lawrence disappeared into a back room. He returned several minutes later with the ammunition on a cart.

"That will be 25,496 Cenz please."

Gaige liked this place. Civilized, and they didn't question bulk ammo purchases? Awesome. She paid Lawrence and added the ammo to her SDU. Lawrence showed similar surprise at the items disappearing as the other clerk had, but regained his composure quickly.

"We hope you enjoyed your shopping experience with us. Come again soon."

"Thanks, I will."

Gaige walked over to a nearby sign, and it directed her to the fabrics department. It was more a corner of the store with a few rows of cloth. She quickly found several bolts of cotton, and cut off several feet of a few different colors. They also had denim, and she took a large amount of it. You could never have enough denim. There was also a large selection of plaid. She wasn't a huge fan of the stuff, but there was a rather nice blue and green square pattern that caught her eye. She took some of that too.

"_Hmm. This is a lot of fabric. Can Ms. Hughes really use all of this?"_ Gaige thought to herself.

One last stand caught her eye. There was a bin filled with leather hides. She'd never seen that in a department store before, but different places, different customs, right? Poor Axton still had a scorch mark in his jacket from the battle with Ampere. Perhaps Gracia could fix it. She took a smaller hide that had a similar shade to it and added it to the mountain of fabric she held in her hands.

Gaige paid for her purchases, but didn't add them to her SDU as it was filling up. She'd just have to carry the bags this time.

Gracia was eagerly waiting for her by the stairs. She had on a strained, patient smile that only a mother could wear. It was obvious Elicia had reached her limit and was quite bored, and her mother had about had it with her.

"Shall we go, Gaige?" It felt more like a demand than a request.

"Sure. I'm all done" Gaige laughed nervously.

They walked down the stairs and out to the street and headed for home. Both women's arms were filled with shopping bags. After a few blocks, Elicia started dragging behind.

"Mommy. I'm tired. And hungry! I want ice cream!"

"We're almost home dear. Just a bit further."

"But I'm _really_ hungry! I could eat like Big sissy!"

Gaige froze. "I…I don't eat that much!"

"Yes you do! You ate three plates of mommy's cooking last night!"

"I- I did not! I was simply-" *gurgle*

Gracia laughed. "It looks like your stomach disagrees with you. Why don't we stop for lunch here?"

They were quickly approaching a street-side Café. There were circular tables set up on the sidewalk with umbrellas in the middle of them to provide shade. Half the tables were occupied, and more were arriving by the minute, as it was getting to be noon. A waitress seated them and took their drink orders. Apple juice for Elicia, iced tea for Gracia, and hot chocolate for Gaige.

"Hey, thanks for inviting me today Gracia. It's been awhile since I had a friend."

"Isn't Axton your friend? I thought you got along."

"Huh? Oh, I didn't mean it like that. He's my friend, and so are the other Vault Hunters, but they aren't exactly what you'd call "normal". It's nice to just hang out without worrying about your life being in danger."

"I see. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"These past few days have been really nice. I'm actually slightly jealous of your family. "

"Please, you flatter me. We're just normal people doing what anyone would do."

"What anyone would do, huh..?" Gaige drifted off in her memories of Pandora. If only Gracia was right, how different that place would be…

* * *

_Somewhere underground in Central…_

"Why am I here? I thought I told you I don't want any of your jobs."

"Come now, you have one run in with something weird and you run off on us? What kind of assassin are you?" A voice emerged from the shadows, a medium built… Man? Woman? The hitman couldn't tell. They were wearing a black halter top, short bicycle shorts covered by a similarly short skirt, long fingerless gloves and socks that left half the foot exposed. It was an odd outfit, to be sure. They had lightly tanned skin, long black hair cured and pointed like cutlasses, and purple irises. The thing was known as Envy, and gave the hitman the same bad feeling as that Gluttony creature did.

"I do not run from a challenge. But even I have my standards. I will not accept a job that makes me uneasy."

"Come now Zer0, if that even is your real name. We just ask you one more favor, and then we won't call on you again." The Envy creature took some oddly heavy footsteps towards him and produced a sheet of paper from its clothes. "Of course, you would be well compensated as usual…" Envy handed over the slip of paper. There was a picture of a target along with a sum of money to be paid on completion of the contract. It was quite a princely sum.

"Your fee is large

This man needs to die?

I will consider."

"That's just what I wanted to hear."

* * *

Gaige arrived back at the Hughes's apartment, and promptly collapsed on the couch. Who knew carrying cloth could be so heavy? Gracia looked similarly exhausted from carrying her purchases. Elicia had her mother pick her up and sat on the couch next to her.

"Note to self. Next time your SDU is full, buy less." Said Gaige, rubbing her shoulders.

"Oh yeah, you have even more in storage, right?"

"Yeah." Gaige hit a few buttons on her pop up echo interface, and the bags of clothing she had purchased constructed into the living room. The small living room was now filled with bags.

"We certainly bought a lot, huh?" Gracia chuckled softly.

"I hope Mr. Hughes won't be mad at you."

"He's pretty understanding about it."

"That's good."

"By the way, did you have an idea what you wanted me to make for you?"

Gaige brought up some saved ECHOpages on the holographic screen. Several pages of clothing sites appeared.

"I've been wanting something like this for awhile. And these too. I also like these styles. You can get guns in vending machines on Pandora, but there's not a single clothes shop to be found. We had to make do with recolors…"

* * *

Axton was getting tired of watching the Elrics do research. It's not that they weren't interesting. It was that he couldn't do anything to help them, since he didn't know alchemy. And guard duty was pretty boring when there were no threats around. The most help he could be was as a book fetcher. He had tried to read one out of boredom, and his eyes glazed over at the complex formulas, encoded references, and concepts he had no clue on how to interpret. He shut the book in aggravation. At least most days he had Gaige to talk to, but she was busy buying clothes today for them. He knew it was necessary to blend in, and that they really needed it, but he couldn't shake the feeling that she'd gotten the better deal today. He looked over to the Elrics. They were intensely studying the notes and various tomes on alchemy. He doubted they wanted any small talk right now.

Axton walked over to an unused table, digistructed his Seraphim and a cleaning kit, and started disassembling the weapon.

* * *

The Hughes's dining room table had been transformed into sewing central. Gracia had set up her sewing machine there. Several paper patterns for clothing were piled on one side, with the cloth Gaige had bought on the other.

Gaige held up one of the pairs of boys' shorts she had bought to her waist. She made a mark with a fabric pen at half the length of the leg, set it down on the table, and started cutting.

"Sissy, what are you doing?" asked Elicia.

"I'm making them shorter."

"But why? They already fit you, right?"

"I just like the way they look this way."

"Okay." She toddled over to her mother.

"What are you making mommy?"

"It's a shirt for Gaige."

"It just looks like a tube to me!"

"It's not done yet. It will look like this when it's done."

She pointed to one of the patterns on the table.

"Cool! Sewing is neat!"

"I'll have to teach you then. This is a pattern. We use it to measure how to cut the cloth, and what it should look like…"

* * *

By the time the library was closing, Axton had managed to clean most of the weapons he used frequently. The place now smelled of gun oil, ink, dust, and sweat. It wasn't a pleasant combination, but it beat the trash, gasoline, vomit, death and god knows what else that permeated Pandora. He stood and stretched his arms, and faced the Elrics.

"So, make any progress today?"

"Kind of. We think were on the right track, but Dr. Marcoh encrypted these notes pretty heavily." Replied Ed.

"I hear yah. I had some basic cryptology training, but this alchemy stuff goes way over my head."

"Honestly, it's taken everything we know to get us this far." Said Al.

"Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"Right. Goodnight." Said Ed, curtly.

"Goodnight, Axton!" called Al cheerfully.

Axton waived to them and stepped outside, where Brosh and Ross were waiting. They had decided to work in shifts to reduce redundancy. Axton and Gaige took days, Brosh and Ross nights.

"How are they doing?" Asked Brosh.

"Fine. I've never seen a couple of kids study so hard."

"The Elrics are amazing like that." Replied Ross.

"That's for sure. Would you like to join me for drinks tonight guys?"

"But we have to work!" said Brosh.

"Well, only one of you does. Besides, I'd like to thank you Ross."

"Eh? Why?"

"I just thought you were another uniform, but you proved yourself out there. Not too many would put themselves on the line like that, and I'm guessing you didn't have orders to. And I'm glad you were willing to hear us out."

Ross clammed up. "You… you figured that out, huh?"

"Militaries don't send Lieutenants when they need something done. They send Sergeants."

Ross's eyebrow twitched. Brosh fought hard to suppress a laugh.

"It's settled then. I'm buying tonight!" Axton walked over to the phone, called Hughes and explained the change in plans.

"That guy can be a real jerk…" said Ross, still pissed.

* * *

Gracia heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. Was it Maes? He was late getting home from work, and usually he would have called by now. It was already late evening. The stomping continued up the hall.

The door burst open.

"Hiii, sorry we're late!" called Hughes.

"We decided to go drinking after work. This guy is a hell of a drinker." Said Axton.

Both men had cherry red cheeks and stunk of alcohol.

Gracia glared at her husband crossly.

"You know you're supposed to call. It's past Elicia's bedtime and she waited up to see you. We ate dinner without you."

"I'm sorry honey." Hughes picked up his daughter and gave her a hug.

"Daddy, you smell funny."

Axton looked around the apartment. Scraps of cloth, thread, and patterns were everywhere.

"What happened here? Did a carpet bomb go off?"

Gaige groaned at Axton's bad pun. "You _know_ that's not what that term means." She sniffed the air. "And Elicia's right, you stink."

"Hey, smelling of roses is new for me. It takes time to adjust!"

Gaige stood from the table and walked over to Axton.

"Jacket. Off." She seemed irritated for some reason.

"*hic* Why?"

"You're not going to wear one with a hole in it forever, are you?"

"Guess not." He unzipped it and handed to her. Underneath was an olive drab T-shirt that had "PROPERTY OF DAHL CORPORATION" on it.

As she walked over to the table, Axton noticed she wasn't wearing her usual attire. Instead she had on a pair of khaki booty shorts and a sky blue tank top. Her hair was done up in a pony tail rather than her usual pigtails.

He couldn't help but notice her hips swaying.

"You look really sexy in that by the way. So those are the clothes you got today?"

Gaige froze and slowly turned to glare at him.

"Come again?" She said with no warmth in her voice.

The rational, not drunk part of Axton knew he had just said something incredibly stupid. Unfortunately, that part wasn't in control right now.

"You heard me. That's drop dead sexy."

Gaige's eyebrow twitched, and her face flushed red. "I'm not wearing this for your enjoyment! Go to hell you pervert!"

She stormed off into the room they shared.

"Hey Gaige, wait!" he followed her.

"Mommy, what does "sexy" mean?" asked Elicia.

"Go get prepared for bed, dear." Gracia was trying to suppress her anger and embarrassment.

"But what does it mean?"

"Now, Elicia."

"Fiiiiine."

Axton tried the door to the room, but it was locked.

"Come on Gaige, open up! I was just teasing!"

"Go away, perv!"

"I don't know why you're so mad. It was just a compliment!"

"Maybe you should think before you spout idiotic things."

"Come on, I'm sorry, ok?"

He could hear mumbling from the room, but couldn't make it out.

"What?"

There was no reply.

"Just talk to me, please?"

Still silence.

Axton sighed and went back into the living room. Gracia had just put Elicia to bed, and she looked ready to lecture Maes. He decided to steer clear of them, and crashed face first on the couch in the living room. A bolt of cloth that had rested on top of it unraveled and draped over him, making a makeshift blanket.

Breakfast the next morning was awkward, to say the least. Axton had tried to make eye contact with Gaige a few times, but she averted her gaze. Add to that the fact that Gracia was still irritated at Maes and the atmosphere was downright oppressive. Only Elicia seemed oblivious to it as she ate her cereal.

The drive to the library was similarly discomforting. The Mechromancer spent it absent mindedly gawking out the window at the scenery. Axton tried a few times to get a conversation going, only to be completely ignored. He gave up and took to counting the stitches in the seat cover in front of him.

Ed and Al were already hard at work studying when Axton and Gaige arrived. Axton sat at the other table in the small room, and Gaige took a seat at the Elric's table, and rested her head on her arm on the table and stared out the window.

Ed was absorbed in a book, but Al noticed.

"Umm… did something happen with you two?"

"No. We're just peachy."

"Are you sure? Can I help somehow?"

"Not unless you can teach Axton to be less of a hentai-san."

"Hen-what?"

"Never mind."

Axton subconsciously gulped. When Gaige broke out the fangirl Japanese he knew he was in trouble.

"Would you try to keep it down? I'm trying to study!" griped Ed, his face covered by the book he was reading.

"Oh, right. Sorry brother."

The oppressive atmosphere in the library remained. Axton tried to distract himself by cleaning the rest of his weapons, but that only lasted him until lunch. The chances of the Elrics breaking it were slim for the same reasons they didn't make good conversationalists right now. After they devoured their meal of ham and cheese sandwiches, Axton tried again to talk to her.

"Look, I know I'm an idiot. Will you please tell me why you're so mad?"

Gaige only glared at him, and got up and walked off from the table. She disappeared between the bookshelves.

"Are you sure you two are going to be ok?" asked Al, worried.

"Yeah, I just need to give her some space."

Gaige's icy mood showed no signs of breaking by closing time, either. As Ed packed up for the day, she was still starting off into space at the setting sun. She stood, stretched, and walked by Axton without looking at him. He started to say something, but stopped himself. She would talk when she was ready. He walked out into the hall and greeted Ross and Brosh, and walked off without saying anything else.

"What's up with those two?" asked Brosh.

"When we went drinking last night, he got smashed. I've never seen somebody put away so much beer. The thing is though; he seems to have a large constitution for the stuff. It took him 5 before it seemed to bother him any."

"That much?"

"Yeah, and he didn't stop. The Lieutenant Colonel was drinking heavily too. So it was probably related to that."

"He seems like a responsible guy, but I guess even those types need to blow off steam once in awhile."

"I think you got that backwards."

"Huh?"

"I got the impression of an arrogant cocky bastard trying to be more responsible."

"You got all that just by drinking with the guy?"

"Well, that and how he was at the crash site."

"Are you two going to babble all day or can we go sleep now?" asked Ed.

"Huh?" Oh right. I'll get the car." Replied Brosh.

* * *

Dinner at the Hughes household had gone about as well as breakfast had. Gracia was closer to forgiving Maes, but there was little progress on the Gaige front. As soon as she finished eating she walked off to her room and shut the door a little too hard for Gracia's liking. Axton helped out with the dishes as way of apology to his host. After he had finished drying and putting away the glasses, he walked over to the room he and Gaige were sharing.

Gaige heard a pair of soft knocks at the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Gaige. Please talk to me." Pleaded Axton.

"There's no room in here for perverts."

"Look, I said I was sorry, ok?"

Gaige didn't say anything for several seconds.

After a few tense moments, Axton heard the click of a lock disengaging.

He slowly turned the handle.

"I'm coming in, ok?"

The ex-soldier pushed open the door slowly. There were no lights on in the room, and the light from the hallway cast a beam of brilliance in the space. Gaige was dressed in the navy blue pajamas she had bought at the department store. She sat on the bed, hugging a pillow between her knees as she held on to them. He correctly guessed that Gaige wanted the room dark, and shut the door behind him. He sat on his bed opposite Gaige.

"First off, I'm sorry. Again. I was really drunk, and I know that's not an excuse." He resisted the temptation to remind Gaige how she had acted when she was loaded.

"All right, and?"

"This is the point where you would say "apology accepted" usually."

"I haven't forgiven you yet."

"I was afraid of that. Now will you please tell me why you were so offended? It's not exactly the first time I've teased you."

"You saw the mess we made sewing. Ms. Hughes and I worked from after lunch till you got back making clothes for us. There wasn't much on this planet that was our style, so we improvised. I was pissed you didn't tell us where you were going to be, and even more pissed you came back smashed."

"I'm sorry. We should have called. Though usually you don't care if I'm gone."

"I just- It's… That's not the point! We worked hard on that stuff and when you came back and said _that _I just lost it. You were never so direct about it and it just made me uncomfortable."

"I did take it too far. How about this, next time I get out of line you have my permission to belt me one."

"With the metal arm?"

"I prefer if it wasn't, but if that makes you feel better."

"It does."

"Ok, I'll see you in the morning." He stood and went to leave and sleep on the couch.

"Hey, wait up."

"Huh?"

Gaige got off the bed, kneeled down beside it, and slid out a rectangular cardboard box. She stood and handed it to Axton.

"Go get changed."

"Wha-?"

"Just do it."

Axton shrugged and walked over to the bathroom with the box under his arm. He shut the door and slid the lid off the cardboard container.

Inside was an olive drab set of pajamas. There was a patch above the breast pocket with the name AXTON, and Sergeant's bars above the name. The skull patch of his old unit was plastered on the chest.

"A peace offering, huh?"

He changed into the gift, snuck back into the room and into bed as Gaige pretended to be asleep.

* * *

Breakfast the next morning was decidedly more pleasant than the day before. Gaige was back to being her cheerful self, and Maes was back to being the goofy father of a two-going-on-three year old.

"So, I'm guessing that outfit is one Gracia made for you?" Asked Axton.

"Yup. I got inspired when I saw the plaid in the store."

Her outfit consisted of the blue green plaid, made into a shirt and skirt, a denim jacket with sleeves above the elbow, and one forest green and navy blue stocking on each leg. She was back to wearing her signature pigtails.

"It looks good on you." Axton braced for impact from a metal fist. It didn't come.

"Thanks."

Well, that was one crisis over.

"I've been meaning to ask you about the shirt you made for me."

Axton was wearing a black T-shirt with a golden outline of the planet Earth, with an anchor in the background, and an eagle perched atop the anchor. Underneath the logo was the letters **U S M C. **A set of blue jeans and his combat boots completed the look.

"Oh that. I was doing some research awhile ago on badass military units and those guys came up a lot. They were apparently the biggest badasses of 20th century Earth."

"That research wouldn't have been inspired by yours truly?"

"Maaaaaaybe."

"How'd you even make all these patches and prints anyway?"

"I did a lot of it on my own clothes before, remember? I've been looking out for good stuff on the ECHOnet since I got to Pandora in our downtime. It's not exactly expensive to get the rights to print this stuff either."

"Fair enough."

"I'm glad to see you two getting along again." Smiled Gracia.

"Yeah, once someone decided to stop being a pervert."

"Hey, it was one time!"

Gaige smirked at him across the table over her hot chocolate.

"Maes dear, you had better get them out of here. You're going to make them late." Reminded Gracia.

"Right. Just after I give my darling Elicia a hug!"

Maes swept up his daughter above his head and gave her hugs and kisses.

"Daddy, your beard tickles!"

"Oh? How about I do it some more?"

Gaige and Ax just stared at the scene in disgust.

"That guy really is hopeless…" said Axton.

* * *

They arrived at the library slightly late. Gaige burst open the door to the room Ed and Al had taken over for the past few days.

"Yo! Good morning! How's it going you guys?"

The Elrics just stared at her for several seconds in stunned silence.

"Axton, who's this girl, and what did you do with the one from yesterday?" asked Ed, puzzled.

He just shrugged as if to say to just go with it.

"So, what's going on anyway? I haven't really kept up on your progress." Smiled Gaige.

"We think that we're getting really close, but there's some parts of the encryption that are still giving us trouble." Said Al.

"Well, If I can help, let me know."

"Could you grab a copy of Locke-Faraday's Principles of Transmutations?" asked Ed.

"Sure thing!" she ran off to find the tome on the shelf.

Ed shot Axton another puzzled look.

"Hey, it beats the silent treatment."

"I guess so."

The day progressed with the Elrics getting progressively more excited. They were certain they were close to cracking the encryption and uncovering the secrets to getting their bodies- and Sal- back. Notes were frantically scribbled, books scattered about, and The Vault Hunters scrambled about to find new information for the Alchemists. By late evening they had broken the code.

"Well? What's ti say guys?" asked Axton.

"Yeah, will it help us get Sal back? And your bodies?"

"Quiet, we're still reading." Admonished Ed.

The brothers peered over the notes, comparing the notes of their own to decipher them. As they read, Ed's face slowly went pale.

"Heh. Heh heh. Ha Ha hA HA HA!" Edward slowly started to crack up.

"Brother, I don't think this is funny."

"No, it's hilarious. Don't you see Al? This is one big joke. This is God's way of getting back at those that commit the taboo!"

"After all this time searching, to think it's made with that…" Al trailed off.

"Umm, are you two going to fill us in here?" Asked Gaige.

"No."

"Come again?"

"NO DAMN IT!" Ed suddenly stood, and with a burst of strength flipped the table on its side, sending books and papers flying everywhere. He collapsed on his knees. The Vault hunters jumped back, startled.

"We didn't want it like this. Not if it's on the suffering of others."

Axton and Gaige stared at each other, completely confused.

"What suffering? What are you talking about?" asked Axton.

"The Philosophers Stone. It's made with live humans."

* * *

**Authors Notes: urgh, sorry this took so long. And it will probably get worse as I got a job (yay!) but this means I'll have less time to write. (boo…) Also, please shoot me if I ever decide to write girls going shopping again. As a straight guy who couldn't care less about fashion I was so far out of my element I might as well been breathing two parts hydrogen with one part oxygen.**

**Oh, and I was supposed to start 5****th**** lab. Oops. Slice of Life can be fun to write, lol. Though I expect the plot to move on from here on out as I think I overdid it somewhat.**

**I also want to take this opportunity to reply to some reviews. I normally pm replies, but one didn't have an account, and another I wanted to address publicly. **

**(this was posted in reply to chapter 5)**

_Dude 5/24/13 . chapter 5 _

_Aluminum is faaaaaaaaaar to brittle a metal to be used in an arm that can punch trough concrete, let alone on something like DT. This is the part where you goofed, not to mention Scar surviving the electrocution. I know you are trying to make it harder for Gaige to survive in Amestris... but that seemed like an Asspull. one thing you have to take into account is that scar cannot destroy something if he does not know what it is made of, case in point Ed's arm; Gaige's arm having the power to punch trough concrete (as was mentioned in the Echo logs) would mean that it is made of a metal that Amestris does not posess._

_ Here's a piece of advice, you can use it or you can disregard it, doesn't matter either way. Don't inexplicably boost someones threat level just to make a situation more tense, using Logic is preferable and does not grate on the readers Suspension of Disbelief. Scar could have been just as much of a threat if he used the environment to his advantage and it would have been more believable, this broke my SOD badly._

**Uhh.. It's an alloy? (ok, that's a weak excuse) I remember hearing that it was as strong as steel, but 5 times lighter. Then again I shouldn't have assumed and done the research. I probably should have said Titanium. (I admit to never have taken a chemistry class.) I'll give you the point of Scar surviving the electrocution, but i think everything else is sticking within canon. One person's broken SOD is another's Acceptable Breaks from Reality.  
**

_Laconeko 5/20/13 . chapter 11I find Gaige may be a little too emotional, but then again she is now OFF Pandora with all that entails. Her personality shift between combat and peacetime (Anarchy Forevaar!) is pretty telling. The Anarchy tech as a sort of adrenaline high makes sense. Awaiting more Anarchy quotes (in appropriate places and quantity, of course, for maximum comedy)._

**I made her emotional for a few reasons. One she's the youngest vault hunter and the least used to killing pre-Pandora, save for Maya. Second, it helps humanize her. Third, she's gone through a lot of trauma and has been bottling it up (imo) and now that's she's in a place where death isn't constantly stalking her, it's coming out. Axton has his military training to help him cope. Don't worry, she's still a badass. When push comes to shove, she's going to be kicking all sorts of ass.**

**(I wanted to bring this up to clear up this point, as they were not the first to mention it.)**


	13. Chapter 13: Magic and Technology

A pair of soldiers rushed down the hallway with pistols drawn. Library staff dashed out of their way, sending papers flying everywhere.

"Out of the way! Official military business!" shouted one of them.

They took a right at an intersection, running at full speed. They were headed directly for the Elric's room. They burst through the doors with a crash, pistols sweeping the room, looking for targets.

"Hands in the air! Nobody move or we will shoot!"

The Elrics, Gaige and Axton stared at the intruders in disbelief. The vault hunters instinctively drew their weapons and aimed at the uninvited guests. Edward was sitting on the floor out of position to defend himself. Alfonse tried to move between his brother and the soldier's guns, but he could see he wouldn't make it in time.

Both parties' fingers got tighter on their weapons triggers. A shootout seemed imminent; the tension in the air was palpable.

* * *

Truth was thinking that taking his most recent toll was an enormous mistake. While it was true that he had to uphold the law of Equivalent Exchange, he almost would have let the vault hunters go through the gate for free if it meant not having to deal with Salvador. Breaking some laws of the universe would be worth retaining his sanity. Ever since Salvador had won the poker game he had become even cockier. Even the emaciated blonde kid had shown some more self confidence. If he had his soul he could be a problem. But that did not seem likely. Truth did not think that there would be a problem seeing as the brothers were unlikely to come up with a fair trade for him. Just as he was taking some solace in that thought, Salvador interrupted him.

"Hey amigo, what are you doing?"

"I was trying to concentrate, not that you would know what that is."

"Sounds boring. Why don't you come play a game with us?"

"No thanks. I'm done playing with you guys."

"Aww, come on, why not? We have the cards all set up!"

"Somehow, even with all my knowledge of the universe, you still come up with ways to cheat at every game we play. I don't know how you do it but you're doing it."

"It's only sometimes that I cheat. Mostly when I think you're using your weird powers again to cheat yourself."

"I DO NOT CHEAT! THEY. ARE. CALLED. TACTICS. "

"You know, you remind me of someone who really annoyed me. I shot him in the face a lot."

"I wouldn't expect anything else from a barbarian like you."

Salvador seemed to not notice the insult.

"Well if you don't want to play with us, how about some karaoke?"

"With what machine? You forget I control this place."

"That one over there, of course."

Salvador pointed at the blonde kid. He had a karaoke machine turned on and he was getting ready to sing something.

"How did you… Wait, I don't even want to know. It's better if I don't."

"So are you joining us or not? We'll let you have first pick!"

"No thanks. Knock yourselves out; as long as I don't have to be a part of it."

"Suit yourself seṅor!"

Salvador walked over to the karaoke machine and took a microphone offered him by the blonde kid. He thought to himself he should probably learn the kid's name since he was going to be here awhile. That thought was soon replaced by boredom.

Truth thought that maybe this would distract them long enough for him to calm down some. He sat down crossed legged, and began to meditate to block out the noise.

Sal picked out a song and began to sing it.

"AAAANNNNDDD IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…. WILL ALLWAAAAAAYYYS LOOOOVE _youuuUUUUUUUEWEEE!"_ He was horribly off key.

Truth quickly realized he was wrong. This was going to be torturous. He began to chant to himself.

"Serenity now. Serenity now. Serenity now…"

* * *

Edward finally broke the tension in the room.

"Lieutenant Ross? Sergeant Brosh? What the hell do you think you two are doing?!"

"We heard a crash, Ed. We came to investigate; we thought you two were in danger." Explained Brosh.

"Jesus, lieutenant! I nearly shot you! Watch where you're pointing that thing! I'm trained to shoot anyone who puts a gun in my face." Roared Axton.

"I'm sorry about that, we have our training too you know. And we're trained to investigate loud noises coming from the room with the people were supposed to be guarding. So will you please explain what's going on now?" said Ross.

"Umm, before we do, why don't we put all of the guns away? You guys are making me nervous." Asked Al.

"Oh, sorry Al." Gaige stored her weapon and motioned for Axton to do the same. He lowered his rifle slowly and Brosh and Ross lowered their guns as well. Once the commando was sure he was not going to be shot today, he stored his weapon. The Amestrians holstered their pistols.

"So what was that noise we heard?" asked Brosh.

"Edward flipped a table over." Said Gaige.

"Why would he do that?"

"Because we figured out how to make a Philosopher's Stone." Said Ed.

"Huh? But isn't that a good thing?"

"There's nothing good about an object that requires you to sacrifice human life to make it." Replied Gaige.

"What? Are you serious?" asked Ross.

"We wouldn't joke about something this important!" shouted Al.

"Of course, you're right. Sorry I suggested it."

"I guess this means you decoded the notes?" asked Brosh.

Edward nodded. "Dr. Marcoh was right. This is the devil's research. It should have been destroyed."

"What kind of sacrifices are we talking about Edward?" asked Axton.

"The notes say to make even a small stone you have to sacrifice a dozen people. And such a stone wouldn't last you very long anyway. To get something significant requires a large amount of sacrifices."

"Killing people who are trying to kill you is one thing, but human sacrifices are entirely different matter. I wouldn't be comfortable doing that just to get Salvador back." Said Gaige.

"I'm with her. I've killed a lot of people but this is just messed up." Added Axton.

"How could anyone, let alone the military authorize research into something horrendous?" asked Brosh.

"This whole thing makes my stomach churn." Said Ross, looking a little queasy.

"All of you do us a favor. Don't mention anything you've heard here to anyone outside of this room. Just pretend you never heard any of it." Said Ed.

"Understood, Sir." Replied Ross. She took it as an order seeing as Ed was technically a Major. Brosh nodded in agreement.

"Sure thing Ed. It goes in the vault." Said Gaige.

"Consider it classified Top Secret." Axton could see how potentially dangerous this information was if it got out.

"Thanks." Ed stood up off of the floor. "Come on Al, we should clean up our mess and get going."

"Right, brother." The group started cleaning up the flung papers and books strewn around the room.

* * *

Dinner at the Hughes's house that evening was rather solemn. Neither of the Vault Hunters felt like making small talk in light of today's revelations. Gracia and Maes exchanged a look of concern. They wordlessly decided that Gracia would approach the subject.

"Are you two ok? Did something happen today at the library?"

Gaige and Axton looked at each other uncomfortably, remembering their promise to Ed. Even if they hadn't made that promise, how would you explain something as terrible as the sacrifices necessary for a Philosopher's Stone?

Axton faced Gracia. "We… can't really talk about it."

"I can tell it's bothering you. It's not healthy to keep it to yourselves. What can you tell me?"

Now there was a good question. How was could she say without breaking her promise? Did the Hughes's even know the full story about the Elrics? Gaige decided to play it safe.

"I… I can't say too much ok?"

Gracia nodded.

"The Elrics found out one that one of their long-term goals has a high cost. Too high. It involves unacceptable sacrifices. And this goal happens to overlap of one of our own."

Maes was frowning. He knew more than he let on and he had a suspicion of what they were talking about. He was in a more serious mood now.

"I'm sure the Elrics will find the solution to their problem. And you two will be there to help them along. You have to keep an open mind. Solutions can come from absolutely anywhere."

"Well Maes, you are capable of giving good advice. I see you're not a complete goofball." Said Axton, impressed.

"I have my moments. Although I must admit much of it comes from my wife."

"Stop that dear, you're embarrassing me."

"In any case, keep doing what you guys are doing. I've come to believe that you two will be a good influence on those brothers."

"What makes you say that? I was not exactly known for good decision-making before coming here." Said Axton. He remembered some of his more glory hogging exploits from his military days.

"Call it a hunch. I have the talent for reading people and my gut says that you'll be very important to them. As for Gaige specifically, it helps that she's around their age and has gone through similar experiences."

Gaige felt happy that she had another person's trust. The only people who were ever confident her abilities were her parents and Axton and the other vault hunters. She was glad to add Mr. Hughes that list.

* * *

The next day, Gaige and Axton were discussing what to do; seeing as they no longer had library guard duty.

"We should probably go see them, even if Brosh and Ross are covering it. Something like that can't be easy to digest." Said Gaige.

"Actually because it isn't, we should leave them alone for awhile. Guys need time to think about stuff like this and to come up with an answer." Replied Axton.

"Even so, we should probably go over there just to show our support."

"You've seen those boys. They're not the type to rely on others, especially not for emotional support. We'll give it a day or two then go over there."

"I guess you're right. It's just that… Sacrificing people to gain power? That's some messed up shit. It sounds like something the Handsome One would do if he were still around."

"Yeah, no kidding. He wouldn't waste a millisecond to do it."

"What are you guys talking about?" asked Elicia.

"Oh! Umm… Nothing! Do you want to go make cookies?" asked Gaige as a distraction.

The young girl's eyes lit up. "Can we really?!"

"We'll have to ask your mother, but I don't think she'll mind."

"Awesome! I call licking the spoons!" Elicia dashed off to the kitchen.

"Nicely done. That was a good save." Complimented Axton.

"Hey, what girl doesn't love cookies?" smiled Gaige as she walked to the kitchen to join her adopted little sister.

* * *

Zer0 was preparing for his next contract. He had been going on some mission or other ever since he arrived on this strange world. His next hit would not be for a little while, so he took this time to maintain his equipment. He took out his sword and a small whet stone and sharpened it. The assassin's preferred weapon, a Jakobs sniper rifle, was dismantled and cleaned. There was a notch on the stock for every challenging kill, though he doubted that he would add any on this mission.

Doing these jobs had done amassed him a small fortune of local currency. Every planet had its price and this place was no different. The bounty for this job would allow him to stop taking these small jobs and focus on only the interesting ones. While he was cleaning his weapons, he thought of his Vault Hunter allies. While his time with them was enjoyable, it was time to move on. Their common foe was dead and he had no reason to seek them out.

Zer0 reassembled the rifle, chambered a round, and deconstructed his sword. As the crescent Moon rose, the time to gather intel on his target drew near.

* * *

The next evening Axton borrowed Hughes's car. When Hughes asked why, Axton reply that he'd rather go over there without Hughes, as he did not think the Elrics were in any mood to see him. Hughes looked hurt but he agreed that was the right call. Gaige and Axton drove over to the hotel where the Elrics were staying. It was the same one that they had been staying in since they arrived in Central.

Remembering the room number, they walked up the steps and knocked on the Elrics door.

"Who is it?" asked Alphonse.

"It's us, your favorite bodyguards." Said Axton.

"We don't have favorite bodyguards." Snarked Ed.

"It's Gaige and Axton. We came to check on you." Said Gaige, a bit worried.

"We're fine. Thanks for checking."

"You can't mope in there forever Ed. We're part of this too." Scolded Axton.

"I can do whatever I damn well feel like."

"Brother!"

Ed sighed. "Fine, do what you want."

There was the metallic clanking of a suit of armor moving, followed by the click of the door unlocking. Al's helmet appeared in the doorway a second later. He whispered to the Vault Hunters.

"Thanks for coming. I've been worried about brother. He's been refusing to eat, and been having nightmares again."

"Idiot. Doesn't he realize that he'll never get taller than me if he doesn't eat something?" said Gaige, a bit too loudly.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THEY COULD FIT IN A THIMBLE!?" Roared Ed from inside the room.

"Well, his hearing isn't shot at least." Said Axton jokingly.

"Why don't you guys come in?" asked Al.

Gaige and Ax walked into the room, shutting the door behind them. The medium sized hotel room had no light, other than the moonlight streaming through the windows. A ceiling fan lazily chopped the air.

The pair took a seat on a couch that sat across a coffee table to the love seat Ed was lying on. Ed sat up and faced the unwelcome visitors. Right now he just wanted to be alone and melancholic.

"So, what do two want? Here to give me a pep talk? To lecture us on what to do?"

"Nothing like that. We just wanted to ask you on what you plan to do next." Stated Axton.

"Eh?"

"Just say the word and we'll follow you. It's not like we can go anywhere until you figure out how to get Sal back. And Al's body too, of course."

Ed's mouth opened and shut several times, but no sound came out. He was fully expecting to be told what to do. It's all adults ever seemed to want from him. And after telling them that the only way to get their friend back was to sacrifice more lives, and he wouldn't do that, the Vault Hunter's abandoning their duty seemed likely. They had run off on their own once before. It only made sense that they would leave when it suited their interests. So why not now? Instead they had just told him they were in for the long haul.

"…Thanks guys." Ed said it so softly that they barley heard it. Gaige and Ax shot each other a confused look.

Even if he didn't like taking help from adults, having them around might be useful.

"To be honest, we haven't figured out we're doing yet. But we're not giving up!"

"Yeah! This is too important! We'll find a way that doesn't involve sacrificing the well being of others!" Al's armor clanked as he pumped his fist in determination.

"Well, whatever you do, we…"

Gaige was interrupted by a loud banging on the door. The pounding sounded like it would break the door in half.

"Elric brothers! Open up! This is Major Armstrong!"

"What do we do?" Asked Al.

"We ignore him, that's what." Said Ed.

The door did indeed break in half, sending the top half flying into the room, pelting Gaige on the head. She flew backwards over the couch.

"I know what Marcoh's notes said, Edward! How tragic! To think that the legend of the Philosopher's Stone is built on such a terrible secret!"

Arm strong started crying fountains as he opened what was left of the door and entered the room. Ross and Brosh timidly followed him. Ed was staring daggers at them.

"You told him, didn't you!?"

"We're… we're really sorry!" apologized Ross.

"It's kind of hard to refuse when someone like him asks!" explained Brosh weakly.

"What happened to keeping a secret you two? It's not like he outranks Ed." Said Axton. He seemed disgruntled that more people were in on this. The fewer people who knew about this, the better.

"S…Sorry. " Ross offered weakly. She was playing with her hair and not looking at anyone.

"It was inconceivable that the military would be behind something like this. Often the truth is crueler than we bargained for."

"The Truth..?" Ed rubbed his chin, remembering something.

"What was it Marcoh said about the truth?"

"Wasn't it along the lines of "The Truth hidden within the Truth?" He was awfully cryptic about it." Replied Gaige.

"Yeah, that was it. It's like with alchemical research, what you can see on the surface is only a small fragment. Which means there's still more to find here!"

"You have an idea Ed?" said Axton.

"Yeah. If the research was done, there was a lab involved in its creation. We need to find that lab. Major, can you get us a map of central?"

Armstrong nodded, and walked out the door to look for one.

"I'll get the lights then." Ross hit the switch on the wall. The previously gloomy atmosphere burned off in artificial lighting.

"So you're thinking if we find this lab, we might find a Philosophers Stone?" Asked Axton.

"Yeah. Or at least some info on who did the research." Said Ed.

Armstrong returned quickly with a map in hand, and spread it on the coffee table in the middle of the room. The group gathered around it, with Ed, Gaige and Armstrong sitting on the couches on either side of the table.

Armstrong spoke up first.

"Currently there are four operational alchemical laboratories with ties to the government. We should start with the third. We know Marcoh worked there, it's the most suspect." He pointed the lab out on the map.

"Al and I have visited all the major labs in the Central, and none of them were doing any interesting research. "

"Hey, what's that building with a red X over it?" Asked Gaige.

"It was built for the Fifth laboratory, but it's not currently in use. It's structurally unsound so it was cordoned off." Replied Ross.

"It's there." Said Ed with conviction.

"What makes you say that?" Asked Axton.

"There's a prison right next door. What was the main ingredient in a Philosopher's Stone again?" Ed's finger slid on the map to point out the facility.

"Human lives. Wait, then does that mean..?" Brosh was starting to think he was in over his head.

Ed nodded. "There would be plenty of Death Row inmates to use as sacrifices for the stone. On the books they would be recorded as executed."

"Damn, even by Pandoran standards this is pretty dark." Said Gaige, looking uneasy.

"Prisoners from other jurisdictions could also be involved. I wonder if the government is involved…" Said Al solemnly.

"Geez, out of the hands of an obnoxious dictator and right into a Nationwide conspiracy theory. Seems like we just find trouble wherever we go." Axton was trying to joke it off, but it was obvious that it troubled him.

"Why do I get the impression that we're getting into something really perilous here?" Asked Ross.

"That's why Ed ordered you to not tell anyone!" Exclaimed Al.

Armstrong rolled up the map and walked to the door, but turned around.

"This has all the makings of a political nightmare. I will investigate this matter. Until then, Officers, you will speak of this to no-one."

"Sir!" Ross and Brosh saluted.

"Also, Elric brothers…"

Armstrong ripped off his shirt and flexed his muscles.

"BEHAVE YOURSELVES! YOU WERE THINKING OF SNEAKING INTO THE LAB, WEREN'T YOU?!"

Ed and Al recoiled and seemed to shrink. "We weren't we weren't we promise!"

Armstrong turned his steely gaze to Gaige and Axton.

"And that goes DOUBLE for you two!" The major flexed his biceps as he said this.

"Psh, we were surrounded by guys with bigger Pecs than you on Pandora." Said Gaige, unimpressed.

"Then perhaps I should remind you that you're still on the Colonel's leash!"

Gaige looked ready to launch into a tirade, but Axton put a hand on her shoulder and gave a look that said _"Not this time." _

Satisfied, Armstrong left.

"Ok, get some sleep, all of you. We'll be outside if you need us." Ross headed for the door aswell, Brosh in tow.

After they left, Ed was visibly frustrated.

"Damn it! Every time we get closer to the truth, something gets in our way!" He kicked a small trashcan against the wall. Papers inside it scattered all around.

"Brother, I'm sure the Major will find something."

"I don't want to wait for him! I can't stand having to rely on adults!"

"Ahem." Axton looked a bit annoyed at that last comment.

"Present company excluded. But I still prefer to do things myself."

This gave Axton an idea. He stared at Gaige and gave her a one eyebrow raise, one of the signals they had agreed on for non verbal communication.

"Well, I'm not feeling too good. I was holding it in that entire little meeting, but I'm about to burst. Don't wait up for me!" Axton dashed off to the bathroom.

"Now that we're done talking, I feel really hungry. This room has a kitchen right? I'm going to make myself some dinner. Maybe I'll bake something too…"

Gaige wondered off, leaving the Elrics very confused.

"…What was that all about?" Wondered Al.

"No idea…" said Ed.

"I'm guessing you never intended to keep your word to Armstrong, right brother?"

"You know it. We have to check out that lab. We'll wait a few minutes, and then we'll tie a rope out the window…"

In the other rooms, the Vault Hunters smiled to themselves. _"Just as planned." _Thought Axton.

(page break)

A half crescent moon hung in the sky as the Elrics slowly slaked their target. The Fifth Laboratory was within their sight now, and they snuck through back alleys to reach it.

"Heh, like hell we wouldn't check this out! This is much too important to give up on!" whispered Ed.

"Are you sure we should have done it like that? We're going to get in trouble again!" Said Al, worried.

"Don't worry about it, I'll simply say it was…"

A hand covered Ed's mouth, and drew him back into the alley as he was about to exit to the street. His muffled cries tried to ask Al for help.

"Edwa-"

Al felt a hand lift up his helmet, and another hand cover his blood seal. The person pulled back on the seal, and Al tumbled backwards, but did not crash to the ground. Something had caught him, and was dragging him backwards. He tried the cry out, but his voice was suppressed by the hand covering the seal. Alphonse thrashed his arms and legs, trying to free himself. He heard a grunt of pain where his arm had connected, but the attacker did not release his grip. Further attempts to strike blows were unsuccessful, and he couldn't regain his footing.

They were dragging him into a side alley, and they had brother too! Why? Why would someone do this? Who would know enough about them to know to cover the blood seal? Al couldn't remember being this terrified since they fought Scar.

Ed saw Al being dragged away in front of him. He couldn't make out the figure who was doing the dragging in the faint light in the alley. From what he could see, it looked like he was wearing a mask. He was being dragged away in a similar manner, and his attempts to break free had not gone any better. The person who attacked him had his flesh arm pinned behind his back so that he could not transmute. Whoever these guys were, they knew their stuff.

"Ok, that should be far enough."

Ed was certain he knew that voice, but he couldn't place it.

"Now, we're going to let you up, but you can't yell. Ok?"

Ed glared at the dark figure for several seconds before nodding.

"Do it." The figure nodded to his companion.

The person set Al upright and replaced his helmet. Whoever was holding him captive released their death grip on his mouth and propped him back up on his feet.

"RUN AL! Go-"

His mouth was muffled again. Ed bit with all his force into the gloved fingers, only to taste a combination of cotton and steel. An automail arm?

The masked man restrained Al again.

"You're not very good at following directions, are you?" The eyes in the mask were wrong somehow. They were too far offset to be human, and they glowed a sickly green.

"Fine. We've had our fun. Let him go Gaige."

Gaige? Wait, did that mean that was…

"You know, if that were my other arm, that would have really hurt." She took her arm off his mouth.

Ed spun around to see Gaige wearing black jeans with a black hoodie, with a stylized skull emblem on the front.

"Gaig..e? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU-"

She covered his mouth again.

"Shh! Keep quiet, would you? This is supposed to be a low key mission!"

Ed moved her arm out of the way. He strained his voice, speaking very excitedly at a whisper

"What the hell is wrong with you two!? If you had given me the chance I would have stabbed you!"

"We had to be sure you wouldn't shout out if you saw us suddenly."

"There were better ways to do that!"

"Yeah, but this way we got to mess with you some." Said the masked man.

"I'm guessing that's you under there, Axton. What's with the goofy mask?"

"Dahl Covert Ops night vision mask. I "liberated" it when I left the military."

"So, beyond playing practical jokes on us, why are you guys here?" Asked Al.

"If you came to stop us, you've got another thing coming!" Ed trembled in anger.

"Dude, do you really think we had to conveniently leave the room for half an hour right after you were told not to do this?" said Gaige.

"…Good point. But that still doesn't answer why you're here."

"Two reasons. First is to equip you."

Axton removed his backpack and set it on the asphalt path of the alley. He removed a battery powered lantern and turned it on, setting it aside. Ed could now see Axton was wearing a grey-black camouflage pattern over his normal clothing. Another technological trick?

Out of the backpack came two Echo units, another pair of SDU's and a pair of shields.  
"I gave you a brief rundown on these in Mustang's office, but we're going to go into more detail now." Said Gaige.

Axton handed the gadgets to the Elric brothers.

Gaige spoke quickly and animatedly.

"That is our E.C.H.O. communication device; it also acts as a personal computing interface. Though I haven't been able to access the ECHOnet since I got here, so that takes some of the fun out of it. Or ECHO cast. What will my 250,000 subscribers do without my soothing voice? Oh right, supposed to be talking about the device itself. The H.U.D. keeps track of your vitality, shield state, and ammunition. You can also customize it to work with any special abilities you might have. In your case, I guess that would be alchemical recipes. It's like, really awesome! It also includes a mapping feature. However without a Geo-synchronous Positioning System Satellite, that function is limited to your immediate surroundings. Which kind of sucks, but it's still pretty useful. It also allows you to interface with the Storage Deck Unit. Speaking of the SDU a base model can only hold about twelve objects but you can upgrade them to hold-"

"Gaige, slow down! I didn't understand half of that!" Edward said, annoyed.

"Gaige. Breathe. I know you like technology but it doesn't do them any good if they don't understand." Reminded Axton.

The Mechromancer took several deep breaths.

"Sorry, bad habit. I tend to get excited about this stuff."

"You were reminding me of that crazy gearhead for a second there." Snarked Ed.

"Who?"

"Never mind."

"Anyway, I guess I should start over with how to use it. Just flip that switch on the side to turn it on."

The brothers did so.

"It will ask to register the device to a user, since this is the first time you used it. Just use the keypad to type your names in."

"Uhh, What's a keypad?" Asked Al.

"Oh, right, keep forgetting you don't have computers yet. You see the letters on the screen there? Just touch them to write like you would with a typewriter."

It took a little adapting, but the brothers managed to write out their names.

"Just hit the enter key to confirm. Next it's going to want a voice print sample."

"A… wha?"

"Gaige, less technobabble." Reminded Axton.

"Right, sorry. You have to talk to it. Just repeat the text on the screen."

Ed just stared at the Mechromancer, incredulous.

"Just do it!"

"The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog." Repeated Ed and Al.

"Voice print Accepted. Welcome, Edward/Alphonse Elric." A female voice from the EHCOs greeted their new users.

"Now the devices are registered to you, and only you can use them unless you give someone else permission. We could also do a DNA lock, but I don't think that would work for Al… In any case, you'll have to add us to your contacts. I'll handle that."

Gaige quickly entered the relevant data into the devices. Portraits of the vault hunters appeared on the screen.

"Now you just have to touch that picture to call us. It will only work for about a mile without another amplifier."

"So, it's sort of like a telephone?" Asked Al.

"Yes, but that's only one of its functions. The H.U.D… Sorry, Heads Up Display shows an estimate of the amount of damage you can take before dying. It also contains your minimap. It should have finished initializing by now."

"Whoa. That's weird looking. It's like its part of my eye." Said Edward, impressed.

"Don't worry, it just appears that way.

Edward looked in the lower left corner of his vision, and saw a full red health bar. In the top right was the minimap Gaige had described. It only displayed the alley they were in so far.

"Uhh, Gaige? I think mine is broken."

"What makes you say that Al?"

"Where the red bar is, there's supposed to be numbers, right?"

Gaige nodded.

"Mine has a bunch of question marks."

"Eh? That's not right. Let me see that…" Gaige took one of the transfer cables out of Axton's bag and attached it to Al's unit.

"What the..? There's no way that should happen. Even if you were really weak it should show at least a 1. Unless…"

"Unless what?" asked Al.

"It can't make sense of your body."

"Wha.. What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure. Don't worry about it though."

Despite her reassurances, Al definitely was worrying about it.

"Next up we have shields."

Gaige handed a blue quality shield to each of the brothers.

"Simply attach them to your belts and press the power switch."

The pair did so, and the shields powered up and covered their bodies in a faint blue-white glow.

"As I said before, these are personal energy shields. They can absorb damage for you. Any damage taken by the shield will not injure you, even if it's from momentum such as a fall or an impact. However if the damage exceeds the shields maximum capacity it will break, and you will be vulnerable. It will take several seconds for the shield to start recharging. If you are hit again before then, the timer will reset. Annoying, I know, but that's just how the generators on these things work."

"This is a lot to take in at once." Said Al.

"You'll get used to it."

Axton spoke up. "In addition, most shields have a special ability. For example, the Ashin corporation makes shields that increase your maximum health, like the one you're wearing Ed. It also provides resistance to elements."

"Hmm, I do somehow feel better than normal. But what do you mean by resists elements? Does it resist Hydrogen, Iron, Lead, or..?" asked Ed.

"Huh? Oh, not those kind of elements. As far as weapons manufacturers are concerned, there are 3 primary damage dealing elements, with two secondary ones. Fire, Shock, also known as Electricity, Corrosive or Acid. The secondary types are Slag and Explosive. Although there's some debate whether explosive is really an element."

"Mr. Torgue certainly thinks it is!" Laughed Gaige.

"Maliwan would like to argue differently though, heh. But in any case, I don't think you'll have to worry about that much unless you face an alchemist."

"I see. Anything that keeps me from getting hurt and Winry yelling at me is appreciated. Thanks guys." Said Ed.

"What does mine do? Asked Al.

"Yours is a "Roid" shield. It works a bit differently. When the shield is depleted, it increases your hand to hand and melee damage considerably. Seeing as you don't need as much defense as your brother, and you're an unarmed fighter, it seemed like a perfect choice." Explained Axton.

"Speaking of, how DO these abilities work? This all sounds pretty fantastical." Mulled Ed.

Gaige's eyes lit up again. "It's simple really! They just reverse polarize hard light constructs against a nanomachine template-"

"Save the lesson for another time. We still have SDU's to cover." Reminded Axton.

"Oh, right. This is the Tediore Corporation Ultra-Store Model Storage Deck Unit." Gaige handed one of the rounded rectangular devices to each boy. "You simply attach it on yourself, and it should interface with the E.C.H.O. unit automatically."

Edward placed the unit on the back of his belt underneath his cloak. Alphonse's unit attached to his leg with a magnetic thud. The device gave off a blue glow from the line in its center, signaling it was ready for use.

"Using it is really easy. You only need to think about wanting to add something to the device, and it will scan it and deconstruct it into storage. "

Gaige scooped up a rock with her right arm and handed it to Edward.

"Here. You can make something with this and test it out."

"Why do I need to do that?" Asked Ed.

"I can tell by the way you're staring at me that you're still skeptical."

Edward sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "Sorry. I know it's just technology, but it's so far out for me that I'm having a hard time accepting it."

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Quoted Axton.

"Who said that?"

"A man by the name of Arthur Clarke. But that's not important right now. Why don't you just try it for yourself?"

Edward nodded, took the rock and placed it on the ground. He clapped and transmuted it into a small skull carving. Having done that, he picked up the skull.

"_Now, how does this work? She said I just needed to think about adding it-"_

_**ITEM SCAN STARTED. ANALYZING…. COMPLETE. SANDSTONE: 78%. LIMESTONE: 15%. GRANITE: 3%. TRACE AMOUNTS OF OTHER ROCK DETECTED. BEGINNING DECONSTRUCTION. **_

Edward heard… no, this voice was in his head somehow. The voice seemed unnatural, kind of like the sounds deathtrap made. It was rather creepy to him.

To his surprise, the skull started dematerializing from his hand into small blue-white cubes. In two seconds it was gone.

"_I see. I wasn't wrong before. It is like alchemy. Now that I've seen it up close I can see it's not very different at all…"_

_**DECONSTRUCTON COMPLETE. READY FOR NEXT TASK.**_

"So, do you get it now?" Asked Gaige.

"Yeah. Its mechanized alchemy. Humans are amazing…"

"What was that?" asked Axton.

"Nothing. Thanks for this stuff, I'm sure it will come in handy. By the way, what was the second reason you came out here?"

"Well, we're coming with you, of course! Duh!" Smiled Gaige

"ARE YOU CRAZY?! DID YOU FORGET THAT YOU GUYS ARE ON THIN ICE AS IT IS!? THE COLONEL WILL HAVE YOU FOR LUCNH IF YOU GO WITH US!" Ranted Ed.

"We told you we were going to stick by you, right? And besides, you're not exactly following orders either!"

"Screw them! We have to do this! You do this and you throw away your chance at ever seeing your friend again!"

"I don't see it that way." Said Axton simply.

"Oh, and how do you see it?" said Ed, still fuming that his new friends were this stupid.

"I'll simply tell the Colonel that our charges escaped our watch, and we went to find them. When we saw a suit of armor and a pipsqueak enter a restricted facility we had no choice but to follow." Axton shrugged, acting as if it were a huge pain.

"WHO YOU CALLING AN INSECT SO SMALL YOU COULD FIT IT ON A PINHEAD!?" Edward erupted. Alphonse had to hold him back from slugging that smug SOB.

"He didn't say any of that, Ed." Said Gaige, suppressing a laugh. It seemed that Ed had earned enough of Axton's respect to get teased.

Edward finally calmed down after a few seconds. Al put his hand on his chin, thinking.

"Actually, that story could work. Seeing how you let us escape, the colonel might buy that you were looking for us. He knows you wouldn't call the military as you're free agents."

"I guess you're right. But don't get in our way! We don't need your help for this." Said Edward, defiantly.

"I see he's back to his arrogant self." Noted Axton snidely.

"And you weren't?" Asked Gaige.

"Hey, I've gotten better!"

"Maybe. A little bit." Gaige smirked.

"By the way boys, one more thing. Gaige told me how you feel about guns, but I figured I'd offer you one of my old ones."

Axton produced a semi-automatic pistol, covered in a blue-grey camouflage pattern, and held it out to Edward.

"I've got no idea what will happen in that lab. I don't like to be uninformed about my targets. If something goes wrong you should be able to protect yourself."

Edward's expression quickly turned into a scowl.

"You heard correctly. I prefer not to kill anyone if I don't have to. And I'm capable of handling myself in a fight, thank you very much."

"Suit yourself." Axton stored the pistol.

"In any case, we should be moving. Darkness won't last forever, and neither does surprise."

The group nodded agreement.

"Come on! Let's go see what the government doesn't want us to know." Said Edward excitedly.

The four of them skulked out of the alley, and closed n on their target.

* * *

**Authors Notes: umm. Hi. It's been awhile… *beat* OH WHO AM I BLOODY KIDDING ITS BEEN A MONTH! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Entschuldigung! Gomenasai! I've been really busy with my new job and haven't had time to write. The free time I do have I usually feel more like blowing things up then creating something. And I will admit I lost interest in this for a few weeks. I think I over did it on "filler" and burnt myself out on writing it. Well, we still didn't quite make it to 5****th**** lab but we're moving again. From here on out I'll try to keep the plot moving forward faster. I'll also try to release a chapter bi-weekly, but I won't promise a release day.**

**On another note, I posted a poll on my profile. What would you prefer the relationship between Gaige and Axton to be? No promises but I'm interested to hear your opinions.**

**Edit 7/7: New story cover, courtesy of ****~elis-adna on deviant art. And it. is. awesome.**


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